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I had a great lecture today by a cardio prof just before we begin cardiology next week. He gave a pep talk that I think is not only applicable for current med students but anyone at any point along this career, or really any career:

Everyone is going to have a bad moment. A moment where there's a failure. Some of these, in the grand scheme of things are relatively meaningless (i.e. scoring below the median on a cardio exam). Others may be truly catastrophic and hurt more than just you (i.e. having a patient die on the operating table despite your best attempts to save them).

At the end of the day, it is important to remember that this career is just one aspect of who you are. Your successes and failures, or how you stack up on the bell curve compared to your classmates, matters not one iota in the grand calculus of the universe. The fact that you're putting in effort, that you're trying to be the best YOU you can be for yourself, your family, and your patients IS what matters. And the best YOU isn't measured by an MCAT score, a shelf exam, the prestigiousness of your residency, the title in front of your name or the number at the bottom of your future paycheck. The best YOU is the you who can be there for yourself and others around you. We're not perfect, but we can always learn from our mistakes. Don't dwell on the past, for there is always a brighter tomorrow (this is more or less the gist of what he said).

Now what I'll say: I don't believe anyone, in any field, any discipline, can be perfect. It is simply impossible. The best way to approach life, in this career and all aspects is a growth mindset. Don't be upset that you failed an exam (as I did in organic chemistry), focus on what you learned from it and what you can do better for the next one. Don't be upset that you didn't get an internship or that a date didn't go well, focus on what you learned from those rejections about yourself. I think everything happens for a reason and that the failures we have guide us towards becoming our most complete

(*Gets off the proverbial soapbox*)

Tl;Dr You will be fine. You will figure it out. Just keep an eye to the future and know that you are enough, always.
 
Getting divorced made me sit down and think about similar things. For one, I put a lot of my happiness/identity in being a father and a husband (partially as a cultural thing). For two, I had been living for other people and doing what I was "supposed to do" for so many years that I had to sit down and really think about what I valued in life. DO NOT put your joy in anything that can be taken from you, including your career. You can't control what happens in your life. You can only control your own actions.

I can't tell you what the answer is, but I think I can tell you what the answer is not. Putting your "happiness" (whatever that means) in wealth, or the approval of others, or prestige, or being at the top of a hierarchy- none of those things will make you happy in the end. There will always be someone who is more "successful" than you.

For me? My faith has a bit to do with it, but I've decided to focus on A) living with absolute dedication to my craft and B) focusing on nurturing good relationships.

With my academic performance, I could match into an easier specialty than Family Medicine that would also pay me more. Having said that, if I don't go work as a primary care physician where I grew up, nobody else will. Those people are counting on me. And the more I know, the better I can take care of them- there aren't any specialists out there. It's just family docs and a general surgeon. Of course working 36 hour shifts isn't worth it for the money. But it's worth it to go serve those people who loved me from the time I was a child.

All that being said- again, I can't tell you the answer. But I would advise you to find some sort of noble pursuit you can devote your life to and strive to use that for the benefit of other people. I think that will lead you to peace. Whether it's medicine or not.

And all of that to say- it really doesn't matter that you're getting Bs in biochem. Stop worrying about making as much money as possible and start worrying about how you're going to serve the world. And about the perfectionism thing- it's literally impossible and it's holding you back from achieving your potential. Go read the essay "A Way of Life" by Osler. If you live like that, the outcome will take care of itself.

Stop worrying about the outcome. Worry about the process. Be utterly disciplined (hence Rock Lee is my avatar haha). And then whatever the grade is, you can hold your head high and know you did a noble thing. Oh, and it's OK to have friends/a partner/whatever too. Medicine doesn't have to be your life.
 
evennotodd said:
Thanks! Yeah it’s not like I’ve got lofty goals just for personal reasons, it’s so that I can do the greatest amount I can to benefit others and leave the world a better place. I absolutely value having a social life, enjoying myself, etc equally and almost certainly more than being the top/doing the best I can in my craft (it’s just that I want to try to do both since I try to be the best I can in every facet of my life, which includes both socially/family and career wise). I’ll give that essay a read!
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There seems to be a fault in your thinking here where you think better grades=more good to be done for the world. That’s not how that works.

Really what America needs desperately is more family docs, pediatricians, and general internists. The reason primary care isn’t competitive is that there are structural issues preventing you from doing the job you want; you get paid less for dealing with more BS than most other specialties.

You might think better med school = more good for the world, but that’s a fallacy too. If I had gone to Harvard I would have received inferior training for the work I’m trying to do in my rural hometown (and my MCAT score was well above their average)

You need to find where your passions and skills intersect with the world’s needs. And you also need to learn how to separate achievement from any kind of self worth.

But if it makes you feel better, from an evidence-based perspective, you’ll probably be doing more good per unit of your time if you’re the bottom of the barrel in med school and match family medicine. I’m pretty sure to date FM is the only specialty with a proven population-level mortality benefit.

We need dermatologists too because FM docs can’t know everything. I’m just pointing out that better grades does not necessarily equal better societal good
 
Lose the pathology of thinking grades and stats are reflections of your character and your worth as a human being

No one is perfect, and even the smartest dictors will lose patients.

All you can to is your best. That's all that's expected of you, and all that will be asked if you.
 
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