3 days into M1, and filled with regrets.(a LONG rant) am I unique?

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Illinifan198423

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I'm seriously rethinking medicine. I'm sure I'm not the only one who after starting their first year has regrets... but I'm not overwhelmed by the amount of work or anything... I'm just not interested.

I think I've been in denial about this for the past year or so, just about the time the admissions process started. I felt good about medicine before that, studied hard for the MCAT and scored pretty well (33), but now that I'm here... I just don't care about medicine.

Background info: I come from a family of physicians. There are currently 6, spanning two generations, and I would end up being the first from the 3rd generation. My family didn't force me into medicine, in fact they told me not to do it. However, I chose to do it anyway. Now that I think about it, probably because it's all I knew.

I majored in molecular biology and psychology in undergrad, and really enjoyed it. However the last couple years I started taking more classes in anatomy and physiology, and didn't enjoy it nearly as much. My favorite classes were anything dealing with neuroscience (the brain was the only organ where I enjoyed anatomy and physiology).

This past summer I really started having doubts about medicine. I started wondering if I was just in it because of my family. I saw friends of mine who were going into medicine who seemed to enjoy the idea more than me. I saw how much my girlfriend loves the field of study she is in, and I saw how little I seemed to enjoy what I was doing.

When I was notified of getting into medical school, I didn't rejoice. I actually felt kind of sad, as if the rest of my life were decided. I told myself it was just because I would have rather been at a different school, but in all reality it was a school that was near the top of my list. I cried before moving here, which is not like me.

I'm now attending a school which uses a PBL curriculum, and when my group splits up what we should be going home to study, I always take anything about genetics, because I like it. However, whenever we talk about organ systems, I get really quiet... because I'm really not interested in them at all. I understand them, I just really don't care.

It's day 3, and all I can think about is how much I'd rather be getting a Ph.D. in neuroscience right now, and know this isn't rewarding for me at all. Should I just turn my back now, and start working on getting admitted to a Ph.D. program? Or have others felt this way, only be feel better about it in a few months?

Any replies are greatly appreciated. I really did not intend to make this post this long.
 
If you are really truly considering dropping out I would HIGHLY advise sticking it out through a few rotations. Everyone is intimidated at first and knows absolutely nothing but by November you will start feeling like you kinda know how to be a student.

And better yet, try to take some rotations that may be more up your alley (i.e. neuro, psych) and see if you still feel the same way. Every clinician has a very different way of practicing. I could never be a surgeon not becuase of the subject matter but just because of the rigamorole that is their life. Anyway, it may take some string-pulling on the part of the people in your student affairs office (who you should probably be counseling with anyway if you are having really serious doubts) to get you the right rotations at the right time, but I could see it making a lot of difference. A lot of students, myself included, find a field they like and then patiently endure everything else for as long as it takes to get into it full swing in residency.
 
If you are going to do it, do it now and hope that they will refund your money (unlikely, but hope).

If you truly aren't happy this isn't the end of the world and it is better to quit now than live in regret the rest of your life. However, think long and hard about dropping out. Consider the options of going into neurology or neurosurgery, etc. If you don't think any of them will make you happy, do what will make you happy.

I hate having to come home and study instead of watching tv sometimes, but i love every day that I spend in the hospital. It is fun coming up with plans for people and treating them. Moral of the story, do what you will be happy doing.
 
You're um... 3 days into medical school.. don't you think it's a little bit premature?
 
With a medical degree you can still do neuroscience research and have your own lab. I'd get involved in research ASAP to see where you feel like you really stand.
 
yeasterbunny said:
If you are really truly considering dropping out I would HIGHLY advise sticking it out through a few rotations. Everyone is intimidated at first and knows absolutely nothing but by November you will start feeling like you kinda know how to be a student.

And better yet, try to take some rotations that may be more up your alley (i.e. neuro, psych) and see if you still feel the same way. Every clinician has a very different way of practicing. I could never be a surgeon not becuase of the subject matter but just because of the rigamorole that is their life. Anyway, it may take some string-pulling on the part of the people in your student affairs office (who you should probably be counseling with anyway if you are having really serious doubts) to get you the right rotations at the right time, but I could see it making a lot of difference. A lot of students, myself included, find a field they like and then patiently endure everything else for as long as it takes to get into it full swing in residency.
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He is still 2 years away from any rotations.
 
Why dont you see if the school has any counceling services available. it helps to talk to a professional.

And no, you are not unique. It happens and this is not the first time this topic has come up on this forum.
I hope you find some clarity soon.
 
If you came straight from a hectic senior year and then entered medical school, I can see where you might be pretty tired of grinding out the "sit in class" and "study at home" routine. If you did something like heavy research during the summer and then into the "fray" in the fall, you likely need to take a bit of a rest.

As others have suggested, speak with a counselor or Dean about your concerns. At the very least, you may want to take a year's leave of absence where you rest and relax and then revisit medical school. Sometimes sitting out a year and doing something else (non-medicine related) can hone your focus back on your career.

The other thing that is very common is the natural "let down" after so much time and energy has been spent on getting into medical school in the first place. Many first year students experience a mild sense of something akin to boredom the first couple of weeks of medical school.

At any rate, if you are not "engaging" in the subject matter, figure out something and take some action. You are not unique but not common either.
 
hey, most people go through a time of "why did i do this"...you are certainly not alone. maybe PBL learning isn't your thing...there is someone in my class who went to a pbl school and transferred to mine which has a traditional "lecture" type structure. plus we don't have an attendance policy so you can do what works for you. maybe you could look into transferring after the end of the first year....
 
yeasterbunny said:
Aha. Yeah I guess I read that as "3 days into M3." My bad.

In that case bail now bro.
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While I agree with njbmd that the right move is to first talk to someone, I do know of a few folks who bailed on medicine early and are quite happy they didn't wait until they were tens of thousands of dollars in the hole. Medicine is a great career for some people, and an incredibly bad career for others. Your job before you applied was to figure out which one you were. Sounds like you didn't do a good job of that. If you seek out counseling, perhaps the school will take pity on you and let you take time off to get your head straight. Then you can use that leave of absence time to figure out if medicine is for you without losing an acceptance. But there is really no way to get advice over an internet board. You have to sit down with someone and really delve into what's eating you. Having a bunch of folks yelling "it's only been three days, stick it out" on the one hand and "definitely bail now" on the other won't really get you closer to a decision. You goofed by not thinking things through before. Time to seek out whatever door the school keeps open for this kind of issue.
 
Law2Doc said:
While I agree with njbmd that the right move is to first talk to someone, I do know of a few folks who bailed on medicine early and are quite happy they didn't wait until they were tens of thousands of dollars in the hole. Medicine is a great career for some people, and an incredibly bad career for others. Your job before you applied was to figure out which one you were. Sounds like you didn't do a good job of that."

Yes and no. I am a third generation doctor. Currently medical school clinical faculty. Love my job.

I liked anatomy and histo. Didn't like the classmates I met in the first 6 weeks. I was on an anatomy table with 3 people very different from me. I later found the classmates that I would need to get through, and they felt the same about me. I don't know how people do it as loners.

Being a doctor has very little to do with your experience of your first 2 years, especially the first year. I hated the second semester. Thought I would fail every test, passed some by a point. I found nothing interesting. But I am very happy with my work now, and I feel a responsibility to patients that I would never have believed. It's scary that they walk in the door expecting exactly that, as they should.

This is very important: give it a semester. Unless you have a lot of money and time, this is a very, very expensive gamble. You can't stop and say give me a master's in medicine, or make me a PA instead. If you cannot stand it-- I mean, feel like every day you are going to cry, get out and find your work.

PM me if you want. I hated medical school.
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Illinifan198423 said:
I'm seriously rethinking medicine. I'm sure I'm not the only one who after starting their first year has regrets... but I'm not overwhelmed by the amount of work or anything... I'm just not interested.

I think I've been in denial about this for the past year or so, just about the time the admissions process started. I felt good about medicine before that, studied hard for the MCAT and scored pretty well (33), but now that I'm here... I just don't care about medicine.

Background info: I come from a family of physicians. There are currently 6, spanning two generations, and I would end up being the first from the 3rd generation. My family didn't force me into medicine, in fact they told me not to do it. However, I chose to do it anyway. Now that I think about it, probably because it's all I knew.

I majored in molecular biology and psychology in undergrad, and really enjoyed it. However the last couple years I started taking more classes in anatomy and physiology, and didn't enjoy it nearly as much. My favorite classes were anything dealing with neuroscience (the brain was the only organ where I enjoyed anatomy and physiology).

This past summer I really started having doubts about medicine. I started wondering if I was just in it because of my family. I saw friends of mine who were going into medicine who seemed to enjoy the idea more than me. I saw how much my girlfriend loves the field of study she is in, and I saw how little I seemed to enjoy what I was doing.

When I was notified of getting into medical school, I didn't rejoice. I actually felt kind of sad, as if the rest of my life were decided. I told myself it was just because I would have rather been at a different school, but in all reality it was a school that was near the top of my list. I cried before moving here, which is not like me.

I'm now attending a school which uses a PBL curriculum, and when my group splits up what we should be going home to study, I always take anything about genetics, because I like it. However, whenever we talk about organ systems, I get really quiet... because I'm really not interested in them at all. I understand them, I just really don't care.

It's day 3, and all I can think about is how much I'd rather be getting a Ph.D. in neuroscience right now, and know this isn't rewarding for me at all. Should I just turn my back now, and start working on getting admitted to a Ph.D. program? Or have others felt this way, only be feel better about it in a few months?

Any replies are greatly appreciated. I really did not intend to make this post this long.
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As the others have mentioned, I would seek some counseling from someone at your school as soon as possible. One of the biggest questions you have to ask yourself isn't whether or not you like med school because this part of the road is only four years, but whether or not you are going to enjoy practicing medicine for the rest of your life. If the answer is no, then get out and enjoy the rest of your life.

How much clinical experience did you have before matriculation? I know you have 2 generations of physicians in your family before you, but did you really know what you were getting into before you came? Could you smell the patients?

First year wasn't too bad, but it was definitely a lot like college. It was a lot of work, and a lot of it wasn't really clinically relevant. I'm only a few days into second year, but I think it's going to be a lot more interesting even though the volume of the work has increased-- everything is a lot more fascinating and so much more relevant to the field of medicine. All the physicians I've met tell me it keeps getting better and better, and so maybe you should keep that in the back of your mind.
 
You can finish out the year and then do a leave of absence to research or whatever. There are opportunities to explore reseach and do some soul searching and make a sensible decision. If you quit now, it would be messy. Explore the options; it is your life. Don't feel guilty about "throwing it all away" if medicine isn't what you want to do. Just try not to burn any bridges until you are very sure that you aren't making your decision based on idealistic notions that don't match the reality of medicine or neuroscience. Make sure you keep your grades up.
 
I would talk to your dean and consider a leave of absence, if you're really feeling that strongly about it. You can use the year to do some clinical work and try to assess if this is really what you want. To be honest, I didn't really like a lot of the organ systems, and didn't really like a lot of the rotations. Like you, I really enjoy neuro and not much else. So I'm doing psych. You could always also do neurology, or neuro-psych. Sure there will be a bunch of stuff you DON'T want to learn, but except for the dude going into internal medicine, probably no one wants to learn everything in the curriculum.

However, if you think you truly belong in a PhD program, you're better off taking leave now and seeing whether or not you'd like clinical work vs research. It's true that you can do research as an MD, but it's easier to get grants, etc, with a PhD and MD/PhD is a long route if you're not in a program with a full stipend. Good luck.
 
Relax. It can be overwhelming in the beginning. Just focus and relax...
 
Well, I would say give it a week or two at least and really think about it before you quit. I really hated first year and thought about walking out and going back to what i was doing before a lot the first few month. However, I roughed it out and I am happy with my decision. You have to realize that the first two years (and the first year especially) are absolutely nothing like medicine as it is practiced. The first year is basically nothing but background that you quickly forget. The second year is better in terms of what you are learning and the third year is another step up (although it can be a bitch at times).

I would really assess whether you think medicine is for you based on the outcome (i.e. do you see yourself enjoying medicine as it is practiced) and not on the crappy biochem/gross anatomy you learn the first year. If you think there is something else you can do and be happy or even better, happier, then do it. Life is too short to waste your youth doing something you hate. Just don't be too hasty, a friend of mine quit after the first semester and is now reapplying.
 
Pinkertinkle said:
Somebody get this guy a waambulance.
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waambulance.jpg
 
Illinifan198423 said:
I'm now attending a school which uses a PBL curriculum, and when my group splits up what we should be going home to study, I always take anything about genetics, because I like it. However, whenever we talk about organ systems, I get really quiet... because I'm really not interested in them at all. I understand them, I just really don't care.

It's day 3, and all I can think about is how much I'd rather be getting a Ph.D. in neuroscience right now, and know this isn't rewarding for me at all. Should I just turn my back now, and start working on getting admitted to a Ph.D. program? Or have others felt this way, only be feel better about it in a few months?

Any replies are greatly appreciated. I really did not intend to make this post this long.
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I can commiserate with first week anxiety. Its probably good to vent a little, although you probably can't expect too much from these boards. For me, its been the intimidation factor. The first PBL is when you recognize just how smart and just how passionate your classmates are. There's a tendency to regress to whats comfortable and familiar.

I can also understand your feelings about getting a PhD. There's something comfortable and familiar in academia, where we've all spent four years of our lives. The expectations and the curricula are all very concise and obvious. Medicine offers a lot of options, but its a minefield of daunting and unexpected challenges. But I'd reiterate what everyone has already said; with an MD you can still study neuro from various angles, but with a PhD your options are a little more limited. Its less comfortable, but probably more rewarding.

Personally, I'm trying to settle into some sort of routine and develop a new comfort zone. I realize there'll be boring stuff that I'm not interested in, but I'll work it into my study plan and just check it off like any other task I have to do. Med school is a path to get to where I want to go, not an end in itself.

Good luck, and I hope your week improves.
 
Many people drop out of first year because it's not for them. I lost my best friend in my class because medicine just wasn't worth 7 years of her life. Many people drop out, so stop thinking that it's unnatural or that you're wrong to feel this way.
But before you do, talk to your school counselor and as advised above, get involved in neuro research. Having something you love to do (and find interesting) while learning the brachial plexus and all the muscles of the forearm and hand will certainly help your outlook.
 
Hey - I don't think you should give up on medicine yet. It is true - there is the possibility that you may find out that this is not the right field for you - but I also believe that you need to give it a little more time - def. past the first semester - before you make a final decision. You are not the only one who has been disappointed by the fist semester of medical school. I didn't enjoy my first year very much either. I was bored by the ridiculous amount of straight memorization and the complete lack of independent thinking or rather abstract thinking required. I am sure that as a psychology major that's something you must be missing as well. Some of the courses which are still to come - such as physiology, neuroanatomy and genetics are more thought-provoking - and I can see how you may enjoy them more. Also - the head and neck section in anatomy will be good - it was probably the only interesting part of the whole course for me. So - no - don't give up yet. You have worked hard enough to get where you are - and you deserve to allow yourself to experience the more rewarding parts of medicine than what the mind-numbing memorization of anatomy and histology have to offer. You should ask yourself another question - if you were to give up now - do you think you may regret it later - or ask yourself in 20-30 years - what would have happened if you had stayed? If so- then def. give it another chance. The practice of medicine is what you make of it.
 
Lets put it this way. I absolutely hated the first two years of medical school. I mean, I found it interesting, so I was able to push through, but I hated sitting at a desk studying all day. From the first day of medical school I was jealous of the third years. The only thing that got me through the second year was knowing that I would soon be a third year. Now that I am finally a third year, I love it. I couldn't imagine doing anything else. Moral of the story...if you think medicine might be for you, don't base it on the first two years of medical school.
 
Blesbok said:
I mean, I found it interesting, so I was able to push through
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that is where we differ. I don't find it interesting. I don't feel stressed by the amount of work or anything, I just don't care about it. The more I think about it, the more I'd like to have a neuroscience lab where I worked on studying something I really care about, while teaching undergrads and grad students.

I talked to the assistant dean today, and she agreed that I'd probably be better off in a Ph.D. program. She also referred me to someone in the neuroscience department, who thought I would do excellent work in the field. I'm going to give med school a little more time (a week or two) just to see if this is just a harsh reaction to adjustment, but I'll probably be out of here.
 
Illinifan198423 said:
that is where we differ. I don't find it interesting. I don't feel stressed by the amount of work or anything, I just don't care about it. The more I think about it, the more I'd like to have a neuroscience lab where I worked on studying something I really care about, while teaching undergrads and grad students.

I talked to the assistant dean today, and she agreed that I'd probably be better off in a Ph.D. program. She also referred me to someone in the neuroscience department, who thought I would do excellent work in the field. I'm going to give med school a little more time (a week or two) just to see if this is just a harsh reaction to adjustment, but I'll probably be out of here.
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Sounds like Ph.D would be a good fit for you.
Good luck.
I guess its too late for them to offer the spot to someone else.
 
I am actually the complete opposite of you. I absolutely LOVED the first 2 years of medical school....and once I started clinical rotations things just kind of went downhill. I didn't enjoy seeing patients, writing notes, being on my feet all day, etc. I'm more of a desk job type of person. I somehow managed to get through 3rd and 4th year b/c everyone told me things would get better. Once I started my intern year, I realized I should have just listened to myself and not others. It was hell. I quit after just a few months b/c I grew increasingly depressed and it definitely affected my job performance.

My advice is simple: Give med school a few more weeks and if you see yourself feeling worse each day instead of feeling more comfortable, get out.
 
I bump the idea of "giving it one semester."

After one semester, if you still hate it as much as you do right now, GET OUT. After that, one more day you spend in the med school will just drag you deeper and deeper into the bottomless hole. You will keep thinking about the effort you've put into this, the debt, and inevitably you will get older, which means less time for an alternative career.
 
hello_hi said:
I am actually the complete opposite of you. I absolutely LOVED the first 2 years of medical school....and once I started clinical rotations things just kind of went downhill. I didn't enjoy seeing patients, writing notes, being on my feet all day, etc. I'm more of a desk job type of person. I somehow managed to get through 3rd and 4th year b/c everyone told me things would get better. Once I started my intern year, I realized I should have just listened to myself and not others. It was hell. I quit after just a few months b/c I grew increasingly depressed and it definitely affected my job performance.

My advice is simple: Give med school a few more weeks and if you see yourself feeling worse each day instead of feeling more comfortable, get out.
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I'm the same way. I didn't mind the first two years. I did not like 3rd year. I'm not very fond of clinical medicine at all because there's actually not much thinking that goes on. I've concluded that medicine is simply seeing patterns based on a vast knowledge-base and experience. If you see A + B + C, then your diff should be so and so. I have an engineering background and I used my brain much much more there than I have ever in medicine. I came up with designs and solved complex problems. There's very little creativity in medicine.

I can't stand the everyday tasks of clinical medicine. That's why I'm going into a non-clinical field like radiology. If you want to stay in medicine, you should look at path or radiology.
 
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Blesbok said:
Lets put it this way. I absolutely hated the first two years of medical school. I mean, I found it interesting, so I was able to push through, but I hated sitting at a desk studying all day. From the first day of medical school I was jealous of the third years.
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Uhh, third years still have to sit at a desk and study for the shelf exam, only after spending the day from 7am-4pm in the hospital, wearing uncomfortable clothing, and out-behaving other students to secure a good eval.
 
Get the F out right now if your doubts are that serious. If you stick it out for a couple years you may be so far in debt that alternative careers are not viable. I mean if you rack up 100k in debt going into a PhD program at 21k/year is going to be pretty tough.
 
I am not the type that likes to give advice as I truly believe that erroneous advice from the inexperienced might sometimes be harmful. You should definitely do some counseling. It doesn't have to be your school's counseling center. Just make sure that who ever helps you in your career guidance is trust worthy and actually experienced.

1- Read some of the posts on this forum. Check some websites. Try to collect as much information as possible so that you can move to the next step, which is deciding on what you're gonna do. As silly as this method might be, listing the positives and negatives of each study/career route might just do the trick. Jot down everything you thought about medicine and your graduate option. You might just remember what actually made you interested in a career in medicine in the first place. In any case, remember that the PhD route isn't short either and you'll need time to get to a point when you have your own lab. You know what's good for you.

2- If you were actually doing some research during undergrad, then you actually know what's research is about. Some colleges offer little research opportunities to undergrads, reserving them to grads. Research work might be as boring as medical school.

3- If you're a hard-worker, you'll definitely fit some research into your schedule. This might help you compare and contrast.

Go do some soul searching! Whatever you do, be happy!
 
Be a Doctor with a specialty in Neurology or drop out now before you
get in too deep. I know people who have spent hundreds of thousands
of dollars in med school to just find out that is not what they want to
do. From reading your rant I can tell your not happy. If getting a PhD in
Neuroscience makes you happy you've got to go for it.

Think this through, this is life altering decision.

Happiness > All else
 
hello_hi said:
I am actually the complete opposite of you. I absolutely LOVED the first 2 years of medical school....and once I started clinical rotations things just kind of went downhill. I didn't enjoy seeing patients, writing notes, being on my feet all day, etc. I'm more of a desk job type of person. I somehow managed to get through 3rd and 4th year b/c everyone told me things would get better. Once I started my intern year, I realized I should have just listened to myself and not others. It was hell. I quit after just a few months b/c I grew increasingly depressed and it definitely affected my job performance.

My advice is simple: Give med school a few more weeks and if you see yourself feeling worse each day instead of feeling more comfortable, get out.
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what are you doing now?
 
OncoCaP said:
You can finish out the year and then do a leave of absence to research or whatever. There are opportunities to explore reseach and do some soul searching and make a sensible decision. If you quit now, it would be messy. Explore the options; it is your life. Don't feel guilty about "throwing it all away" if medicine isn't what you want to do. Just try not to burn any bridges until you are very sure that you aren't making your decision based on idealistic notions that don't match the reality of medicine or neuroscience. Make sure you keep your grades up.
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Good call.

I was going to say you could look into whether your school offers a PhD in neuroscience or similar and see if you can do something combined.

Or just talk to the NS prof and see about doing research with them.
 
You're NOT alone! A lot of people feel this way. Go talk to your dean... basically they will tell you hang in there for a semester to see how it goes and don't worry too much about what you will be doing for the rest of your life--because if you spend all your time worrying you'll fail out instead of drop out yourself.

Also, classes in med school are SO much better than those in undergrad (except for maybe biochem... it always sucks). And getting a PhD is VERY different than med school. If you aren't completely obsessed with neurosciene AND research, it's really not an option.

A LOT of people have these sorts of identity crises after college... which is why taking a year off is so useful. Eventually you will come to terms with your future career, and realize that each day is determined by you. Nothing is final and you can create the kind of life you want in any professional career.
 
OP: sounds like you are in a tough situation. There are probably no easy answers here. The only thing I can think of is to definitely seek the counsel of others that may be in a position to help you. Your Dean, faculty members, parents?, ect ... In the end, you really need to figure this out for yourself, because it really is your decision to make alone. That all being said though, I offer the observation that 3 days of medical school is probably not enough exposure to your curriculum to know exactly what your experience will be like. Best of luck to you whatever you decide.
 
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How about this: let your school decide! By now your tuition payment has surely cleared. If they will refund it, take it and run. If not, stick it out for whatever portion you have paid for and see how you like it, then leave if you don't feel any better.

I don't know why this crisis didn't resolve itself before now-- you don't seem to have any good reason to go to medical school, and you even cried about it before you left. Not only that, you seem to believe you have found what would make you happy (PhD program)! If you stick with the MD program you might luck out and end up liking it, but that's pretty much up to chance from what I've read in this thread. In any case, don't rack up a huge debt to hang over you for graduate school. If I were you, I would quit.

Keep in mind this advice is coming from an M1 with two week's experience.
 
Illinifan198423 said:
that is where we differ. I don't find it interesting. I don't feel stressed by the amount of work or anything, I just don't care about it. The more I think about it, the more I'd like to have a neuroscience lab where I worked on studying something I really care about, while teaching undergrads and grad students.

I talked to the assistant dean today, and she agreed that I'd probably be better off in a Ph.D. program. She also referred me to someone in the neuroscience department, who thought I would do excellent work in the field. I'm going to give med school a little more time (a week or two) just to see if this is just a harsh reaction to adjustment, but I'll probably be out of here.
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There are a LOT of miserable physicians that stuck with it because they thought they had invested too much, or because they didn't know what else they could do. You sound very sure about what you want to do, and it's great you have the resolve to act on it.

See if you could take a leave of absence - medical leave - or even if it is too late to defer. That way, if you have regrets after leaving, you will still have a place.

:luck:
 
I guess the question I would ask you is: why did you want to go to medical school in the first place? Did you want to take care of patients, or was it purely to study biology? Because you ain't gonna treat patients with a Ph.D in neuroscience.

If you want to treat patients, then try to stick it out, just like you did the boring classes in college. Get a residency in neurology, do research, and do academic medicine or something where you run a lab to get your scientist kicks, work with Ph.D's and students, and treat sick people.

If you don't care to treat patients, and just want to work in a lab, then dropping the MD program for a Ph.D might be a great idea.

The important thing in the end is to find your joy in life. You only get one of them, after all.
 
Illinifan198423 said:
that is where we differ. I don't find it interesting. I don't feel stressed by the amount of work or anything, I just don't care about it. The more I think about it, the more I'd like to have a neuroscience lab where I worked on studying something I really care about, while teaching undergrads and grad students.

I talked to the assistant dean today, and she agreed that I'd probably be better off in a Ph.D. program. She also referred me to someone in the neuroscience department, who thought I would do excellent work in the field. I'm going to give med school a little more time (a week or two) just to see if this is just a harsh reaction to adjustment, but I'll probably be out of here.
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That's seems like a pretty sound plan. If you can't envision yourself treating patients for the rest of your life and enjoying it, then you really need to get out now before you're miserable. The sooner, the better. Good luck with your new life!!
 
I know that this may have been suggested... but MD/PhD!? Maybe!? Here's the other thing... you can treat patients AND do research with an M.D., but you can only do research with a PhD. There are many M.D.'s who spend a buttload of time doing research and only a tiny or no time seeing patients. I would stick it out at least for the year unless your tuition will be refunded (which it probably won't).
 
my knee-jerk reaction is that medicine is not for you. it strikes me as odd that you were almost negative the day you found you got into med school. and you don't even have any interest in organ systems? man, seems like a long road ahead. I'd seriously consider other avenues, after excluding depression as a cause. I'd be wary of sticking it out and only getting further behind in career and debt.
 
Illini--

1) Are you antipathetic because you feel trapped, or that your family basically made your decisions for you, or are you honestly negative about medicine?

2) What motivated your decision to apply? I ask because at some point you were writing admissions essays, going on interviews, etc., and you were giving people answers about why you wanted to go to med school. Did those answers, those visions about the future in *any way* involve treating patients?

3) Lastly, M1 year is an extraordinarily poor proxy for a career in medicine. I spent every day HATING it. I composed multiple emails to my dean of students requesting to drop out... I just never sent them. I thought it was unbelievably boring. I hated every single class in first year, honestly. There was no intellectual curiosity, and it was so rigid. But third year... ah, third year. It was wonderful. I loved every single day.

My story is not unique.

Shadow a doctor THIS WEEK in a field that compels you-- neurology, psychiatry, what have you. Go to grand rounds and see if the case presentation strikes you as compelling.

Then and only then, make your decision.
 
Remember that there are many non-clinical options as well. However, it may not be worth the time investment if you don't think you'll enjoy the path to get to your destination.
 
I find it highly bizarre that it only took 3 days of PBL for you to throw in the towel. It seems like you already had decided that med school wasn't for you, but that being bored with the material provided a more concrete/convenient reason to quit.

I guess it is inconvenient to have to study material that you may not be interested in, but it doesn't have to be a part of what you do in the future. And being a Ph.D. student doesn't mean you can ignore everything you're not interested in, either. I've been involved in neuroscience research for the past two years, but I certainly don't find everything in the field to be fascinating. No one does - every grad student I know can name a field of neuroscience that they actively dislike.

If there's one common characteristic that's shared among all professional or graduate students, it's the ability to delay gratification for the sake of future goals. Is the gratification of studying something you find interesting really driving you here, or is the goal of being a practicing physician not as attractive as it used to be?
 
Illinifan198423 said:
I'm seriously rethinking medicine. I'm sure I'm not the only one who after starting their first year has regrets... but I'm not overwhelmed by the amount of work or anything... I'm just not interested.

I think I've been in denial about this for the past year or so, just about the time the admissions process started. I felt good about medicine before that, studied hard for the MCAT and scored pretty well (33), but now that I'm here... I just don't care about medicine.

Background info: I come from a family of physicians. There are currently 6, spanning two generations, and I would end up being the first from the 3rd generation. My family didn't force me into medicine, in fact they told me not to do it. However, I chose to do it anyway. Now that I think about it, probably because it's all I knew.

I majored in molecular biology and psychology in undergrad, and really enjoyed it. However the last couple years I started taking more classes in anatomy and physiology, and didn't enjoy it nearly as much. My favorite classes were anything dealing with neuroscience (the brain was the only organ where I enjoyed anatomy and physiology).

This past summer I really started having doubts about medicine. I started wondering if I was just in it because of my family. I saw friends of mine who were going into medicine who seemed to enjoy the idea more than me. I saw how much my girlfriend loves the field of study she is in, and I saw how little I seemed to enjoy what I was doing.

When I was notified of getting into medical school, I didn't rejoice. I actually felt kind of sad, as if the rest of my life were decided. I told myself it was just because I would have rather been at a different school, but in all reality it was a school that was near the top of my list. I cried before moving here, which is not like me.

I'm now attending a school which uses a PBL curriculum, and when my group splits up what we should be going home to study, I always take anything about genetics, because I like it. However, whenever we talk about organ systems, I get really quiet... because I'm really not interested in them at all. I understand them, I just really don't care.

It's day 3, and all I can think about is how much I'd rather be getting a Ph.D. in neuroscience right now, and know this isn't rewarding for me at all. Should I just turn my back now, and start working on getting admitted to a Ph.D. program? Or have others felt this way, only be feel better about it in a few months?

Any replies are greatly appreciated. I really did not intend to make this post this long.
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The first coupla years in med school are nothing like what you'll be doing as a physician for the rest of your life, so consider that.

Fool yourself into being interested in the not-so-interesting topics (embryo, nutrition etc.) Whatever.


*****A gynecological oncology fellow told a buddy of mine that you shouldn't even shy away from a residency/fellowship because of it's demands, hours, BS, whatever. Because, once you're an attending, it's often a different ballgame anyway.

Keep this in mind. I thought that was good advice.
 
you're supposed to learn a little of everything in med school. you can always go into neurology or neurosurgery once you're done with med school.
 
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