- Joined
- Aug 19, 2011
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As people reading this forum might know, I am currently a 3rd year and I'm having a hard time. I did just fine the first two years, btw -- not the best, but I had high passes and above-average Step 1.
But now I come in every day determined to work hard, be engaged, and be enthusiastic. I try to be nice to everyone and be helpful. But it's midway through the year I am really discouraged by all the mistakes I still keep making.
For instance, I read and study quite a bit, but when the rubber hits the road in clinic, I get so nervous I make mistakes in differentials and plans that I shouldn't be making. In terms of teamwork and communication, I also had a couple of hiccups on a surgical service recently, and while I fixed them really quickly I still can't get get over the fact that those were not mistakes I should've been making in the first place. (The other med student on the service certainly was not.)
It's hard to keep moving forward despite feedback that suggests I am behind the curve. I should be studying right now, but I physically can't because... what's the point? It's just all going to get jumbled in my head and I'll make a fool of myself anyway.
I think I should seek some kind of help, but what?
In the years prior, I could go to the academic support office and talk about better study strategies, but their capacity seems to be limited to helping students do well on tests. I could approach them and be evaluated for a learning disorder, but it's highly unlikely that I would've gotten as far as I did without ever knowing I had one.
I could talk to my classmates, but that's just the blind leading the blind.
One thing that would be helpful might be to find a mentor, and I do have one doctor (a psychiatrist) in mind -- though I've only worked with her on one occasion. Plus, docs are so busy that I feel bad asking for an hour of her time so I can just sit and angst about my problems.
I strongly suspect I might have an anxiety disorder that's being exacerbated by 3rd year, so I guess I could get myself evaluated for that by a psychiatrist. But I have concerns up the wazoo about taking meds, and meds are pretty much the biggest intervention psychiatrists can offer. A psychologist? I tried in the past, and it was hard to talk to have a productive conversation about all this with someone who doesn't really know the ins and outs of medical education.
And the biggest issue is -- in order to meet with all these people, I'd have to miss clinic or do gymnastics to arrange it all. For instance, with scheduling a psychiatrist appointment, you actually have to call during business hours. Miss too much clinic, and it becomes a problem.
.....
PS: Should I just say "f** it and forget it" and just study for the shelf? The shelves, too, btw, are a bulldozer every time, but that's a whole separate issue. I mean, I study for 3-5 hrs every day, read the review books and take notes, do every Uworld and Uwise (for Gyn) question twice, take notes on explanations, and I still do mediocre. Maybe it's the anxiety there too -- I know the stuff, but I just can't access it or think quickly and efficienctly enough when under pressure.
But now I come in every day determined to work hard, be engaged, and be enthusiastic. I try to be nice to everyone and be helpful. But it's midway through the year I am really discouraged by all the mistakes I still keep making.
For instance, I read and study quite a bit, but when the rubber hits the road in clinic, I get so nervous I make mistakes in differentials and plans that I shouldn't be making. In terms of teamwork and communication, I also had a couple of hiccups on a surgical service recently, and while I fixed them really quickly I still can't get get over the fact that those were not mistakes I should've been making in the first place. (The other med student on the service certainly was not.)
It's hard to keep moving forward despite feedback that suggests I am behind the curve. I should be studying right now, but I physically can't because... what's the point? It's just all going to get jumbled in my head and I'll make a fool of myself anyway.
I think I should seek some kind of help, but what?
In the years prior, I could go to the academic support office and talk about better study strategies, but their capacity seems to be limited to helping students do well on tests. I could approach them and be evaluated for a learning disorder, but it's highly unlikely that I would've gotten as far as I did without ever knowing I had one.
I could talk to my classmates, but that's just the blind leading the blind.
One thing that would be helpful might be to find a mentor, and I do have one doctor (a psychiatrist) in mind -- though I've only worked with her on one occasion. Plus, docs are so busy that I feel bad asking for an hour of her time so I can just sit and angst about my problems.
I strongly suspect I might have an anxiety disorder that's being exacerbated by 3rd year, so I guess I could get myself evaluated for that by a psychiatrist. But I have concerns up the wazoo about taking meds, and meds are pretty much the biggest intervention psychiatrists can offer. A psychologist? I tried in the past, and it was hard to talk to have a productive conversation about all this with someone who doesn't really know the ins and outs of medical education.
And the biggest issue is -- in order to meet with all these people, I'd have to miss clinic or do gymnastics to arrange it all. For instance, with scheduling a psychiatrist appointment, you actually have to call during business hours. Miss too much clinic, and it becomes a problem.
.....
PS: Should I just say "f** it and forget it" and just study for the shelf? The shelves, too, btw, are a bulldozer every time, but that's a whole separate issue. I mean, I study for 3-5 hrs every day, read the review books and take notes, do every Uworld and Uwise (for Gyn) question twice, take notes on explanations, and I still do mediocre. Maybe it's the anxiety there too -- I know the stuff, but I just can't access it or think quickly and efficienctly enough when under pressure.
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