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Housemates vs Living alone in Medical School

  • Housemates

  • Live Alone


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Med school is stressful. You do not want your home environment to be an additional source of stress. For me, this meant living alone. I had a previous roommate experience with an inconsiderate person and it really made me feel uncomfortable and on-edge in my home. It was quite draining. Living by myself alleviated that risk. The studio I live in is little (1 bedroom was too expensive), but it's all mine and having that control over my environment brings me a lot of peace.

If you do choose to live with someone, vet them thoroughly (sleeping schedule, cleaning schedule, dating habits, substance habits, pet peeves, etc.). This is increasingly important during the age of COVID, since you're at home so much.

Lastly, consider the long-term cost. I'm a super frugal person, but if $200 extra dollars per month in rent allows you to do better in classes and be less stressed, do it. While that ~$10k over four years is a lot of money, it's not in the context of your future salary. 4 years of living in an unhappy housing arrangement could be far more costly.
 
This is what I tell everyone and did myself: start off living alone. Adjust to school and classmates. If you find someone you’d want to room with, do so MS2 onwards. There’s a roommate shuffle that goes on every year between MS1 and MS2 for a reason. Everyone starts off fake but get real about 6 months in. This might be more difficult with covid but even all the more reason to live alone as you might be trapped with someone you absolutely hate.
 
I lived in a medical fraternity house in med school. Not optimal, but very inexpensive.. As a DO, we had OMM tables to practice on and upperclassmen to help. So no need to travel to school for that. Lots of comradery since we were all in different stages of the med school experience. Not for everyone, cleanliness was an issue that some people had no interest in. Can't be squeamish. I think the best part was the relationships I developed. I am still in contact today with 3 of them. My roommate and his family have vacationed with us many times and his adult children still call me Uncle Angus. This was a unique experience by today's standards, but I agree with much of the above. I think a roommate who is also in med school would be preferred. They understand what you are going through and can offer support during rough spots. I think living alone promotes burnout and depression for some. Do what you think is best for you. Good luck and best wishes!
 
I wouldn't plan on having a girlfriend until you have one. Covid and med school complicate that sort of thing. I think you should gauge how much you value social interaction. I don't know anyone at my school who doesn't like their roommates, and I don't know anyone who regrets living alone. If you could spend days alone just studying, you're probably good to live alone. Otherwise, you might be missing out on a lot of fun with some good roommates
 
I wouldn't plan on having a girlfriend until you have one.

I don't necessarily agree with this. I think your ability and willingness to date definitely can be affected by your living environment. If you're living with people who leave the house a mess or who make it uncomfortable for you to bring back a love interest, then that can absolutely stifle your dating life.

Dating in med school is already hard. If you know dating is something important to you, I'd set up a living arrangement where you have as few barriers to dating as possible. This is increasingly important with Covid, where your roommates may not want you bringing strangers into the house.
 
I don't necessarily agree with this. I think your ability and willingness to date definitely can be affected by your living environment. If you're living with people who leave the house a mess or who make it uncomfortable for you to bring back a love interest, then that can absolutely stifle your dating life.

Dating in med school is already hard. If you know dating is something important to you, I'd set up a living arrangement where you have as few barriers to dating as possible. This is increasingly important with Covid, where your roommates may not want you bringing strangers into the house.
I meant it more like "Easier said than done" lol

I decided I wanted a girlfriend a while before finally getting one. But hey, done of us are maybe a bit worse with the ladies
 
Unless it works out that my SO's clinical fellowship works with my medical school location, then I will be living alone. I am someone who greatly values my sleep, quiet, and alone time. Although it will make finances tighter to live alone, it is more than worth it for me, considering it can make a big difference in my happiness and mental well-being. It's also not like living alone means you cannot live close to other classmates and can't host them for gatherings.
 
Disclaimer: I'm a fellow applicant for this cycle.

However, I moved away to graduate school in England and lived alone in a dorm. I think, looking back, my social experience would have been better if I had roommates. Yes, it may have prevented me from neurotically studying. But (*platitude coming*), life is so much more than work.

Some of my favorite memories from undergrad were bonding with my roommates -- whether it be on the 2 am walk back from the library or in our apartment, drinking a beer and watching some college football.

I appreciate the above advice, and I'll take it seriously when choosing a roommate(s).

I wish you well, OP!

Edit: all of my roommates were pre-med, so it helps to be following the same (or similar) life courses as your roommates.
 
I had some messy roomates in college (lived with 3 dudes) but nothing was better than getting home from class and seeing frozen pizza on the couch with Monday Night Football playing on the background and my roomates all plastered on the couch. I guess I hate being alone so I don't mind roommates lol.
 
I’m a current first year med student and I live in a house with a few other first years. I was pretty careful when vetting my roommates and we all get along really well. Right now I am so thankful I live with other people for a few reasons, mainly that 1) If I lived alone during this pandemic I would be super lonely and 2) it’s really nice to live with people who understand what it’s like to be a med student and who I can vent to. I also pay very little in rent (mainly possible because of where I live). The main con is that the house can be a bit stressful around exam times. I have some classmates who live on their own and it seems kind of tough right now because of the pandemic. But there’s certainly nothing wrong with doing that if it’s what you prefer and if you can afford it.
 
Question: how does one vet roommates?? Unless you stay in a hotel before signing the lease, you won’t be able to meet them in person before living with them. It seems a very in-depth exploration of their background is needed, and that may seem unusual to conduct when you don’t know them. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions of specific questions to ask.

It’s also hard to tell how someone acts when they are stressed/upset based on the first time you meet them, as many people put their “best selves” forward, so you might not catch it if you two are going to have conflict
 
Question: how does one vet roommates?? Unless you stay in a hotel before signing the lease, you won’t be able to meet them in person before living with them. It seems a very in-depth exploration of their background is needed, and that may seem unusual to conduct when you don’t know them. I would greatly appreciate any suggestions of specific questions to ask.

It’s also hard to tell how someone acts when they are stressed/upset based on the first time you meet them, as many people put their “best selves” forward, so you might not catch it if you two are going to have conflict
Huh??? What have you done up to this point in your life?? Did you go away for UG? If so, did you have roommates, and, if so, did you conduct "very in-depth" background checks then, when the school most likely randomly matched you with someone based on, if anything, a very basic checklist?

If the fact that whoever you might be living with was good enough to pass a background check and be admitted to your school is not good enough, you are probably a very good candidate to live by yourself, regardless of the cost. Otherwise, you do the best you can, realizing that conflicts sometimes arise, and signing a one-year lease is not the same as getting married. Everyone always reassesses after the first year, once you are settled and have an opportunity to make friends and see whether or not your shotgun roommate arrangement is working. 😎

Basically, yeah, all of the cons OP listed are valid. The question is whether or not the money saved and possibility of the other pros he listed are worth the risk. The answer is personal, and comes down to your risk tolerance, ability to weather a potentially uncomfortable situation for a limited period of time, and need or desire for the benefits of companionship versus being on your own.
 
I lived with anywhere from 10 to 15 students in a nasty fraternity house in med school. Not a lot of privacy, lots of studying at school. My assigned roommate became one of my dearest friends, frequently vacationing together with our families and attending conferences. His adult children to this day call me Uncle Angus. I had a very good experience with a stranger.. As adults, most can co habitate peacefully without drama. We 11 were able to do so quite well.. Lease laws are state dependent. In our state the lease usually includes joint and several liability. Meaning the landlord can collect any outstanding rent from any leaseholder they choose. So if roomy skips on 2 months rent and leaves town, the landlord can collect from any or all remaining leaseholders , meaning you. This can be problem when there are multiple roommates on an apartment lease.
Having said all of this, I would contact any roommate in advance and try to get a feel if you might be compatible. Med school is stressful and you don't need the stress of roommate drama. Consider the extra cost of living alone if this puts you outside your comfort zone.
 
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100% am living with others. I need to be around others, get tired if I'm alone. My apartment mates can be loud and messy sometimes, but they were gone for a couple months during MCAT studying and I was lonely all the time lol. I think the company for me was definitely worth the extra trouble, and I bet companionship is even more important with covid. I've always shared a room so for extra privacy for medical school I think I'm leaning towards having my own room in a shared place. I think it's very doable to work out a system for dating and significant others.
 
I roomed with another med student first year. She was a very nice person, but the little differences in our day-to-day lifestyles was a significant point of stress for me that I didn't need on top of classes. Decided to live alone second year and it was the right choice (distractions are the last thing I need with board studying).
You can't really know how living with someone will be until you do it. If you see a lot of potential benefits from having a good roommate, I'd recommend trying it with a classmate first year. Maybe they could help you get adjusted to the social aspects of med school. If it goes well, stick with it. If you start to have issues, live alone second year. That way, you have maximum flexibility in your daily habits when you start approaching boards.
 
100% am living with others. I need to be around others, get tired if I'm alone. My apartment mates can be loud and messy sometimes, but they were gone for a couple months during MCAT studying and I was lonely all the time lol. I think the company for me was definitely worth the extra trouble, and I bet companionship is even more important with covid. I've always shared a room so for extra privacy for medical school I think I'm leaning towards having my own room in a shared place. I think it's very doable to work out a system for dating and significant others.
I’ve found the companionship aspect can definitely be true, but only if you are *actually friends with* the people you live with. Living with random strangers/acquaintances is very different and just an added source of stress IMO, like @culturekweenXx mentioned.

I’ve moved in with strangers and good friends, the latter of which has been a much better experience. My main question is just how to tell in (likely only one) conversation whether a future classmate whom I haven’t met would be a good fit, based on their communication style, overall way of dealing with conflicts, cleanliness standards for the living space, and other miscellaneous things like visitor rules, temperature, noise, etc.

I ended up moving out of two apartments because people said they did not smoke and this was not true. So my random-roommate situations have not been good
 
I’ve found the companionship aspect can definitely be true, but only if you are *actually friends with* the people you live with. Living with random strangers/acquaintances is very different and just an added source of stress IMO, like @culturekweenXx mentioned.

I’ve moved in with strangers and good friends, the latter of which has been a much better experience. My main question is just how to tell in (likely only one) conversation whether a future classmate whom I haven’t met would be a good fit, based on their communication style, overall way of dealing with conflicts, cleanliness standards for the living space, and other miscellaneous things like visitor rules, temperature, noise, etc.

I ended up moving out of two apartments because people said they did not smoke and this was not true. So my random-roommate situations have not been good
Simple answer -- you can't. If you need to be friends, and don't do so well with virtual strangers, you need to be on your own for the first year until you have the opportunity to make some friends.
 
So Im facing a pretty similar problem, but I was able to find a townhome complex that had single apartments that weren't too pricey and also happened to be where a lot of students opted to live. I. think that will be the best of both worlds for me because I know I will want my own space and worry about potential problems with a roommate (I've had one very bad one and one good enough to ruin all future roommates), but I will also be very close to some of my classmates and can hangout/study with them when i need the social contact. If there are any options like that in your area, that might be the best option for you.

Edit: I have a long-term SO that will be in grad school in another state, so I think living alone will let me make calls while doing chores and do zoom dinner dates without blocking the kitchen or common areas. Also when he can come visit, I dont need to worry about roommates caring if he's there all weekend just going through his daily routines. A little different than casual dating, but maybe some of the things would be relatable
 
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