A doctor signs an email with her first name...

[TexasFight]

...so when you email her back do you greet her with her first name? She's pretty young (~38?) if that makes a difference. I'm making a bigger deal than most would out of this because she works in the admissions office of a medical school that I plan to apply to.

What are your thoughts?

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[bannie22]

to me a doctor is a doctor. DR.

 

[chman]

...so when you email her back do you greet her with her first name? She's pretty young (~38?) if that makes a difference. I'm making a bigger deal than most would out of this because she works in the admissions office of a medical school that I plan to apply to.

What are your thoughts?

I would probably still say Dr. just to be safe.

 

[dukemed22]

Unless you have a more personal relationship, I'd keep it professional (i.e. use "Dr.").

 

[BlueElmo]

Yeah, Dr. is a must. If she is not a doctor, I still address her as Ms.

However young she may be.

 

[AlanAlanine]

For sure respond to Dr.

People sometimes have an automatic signature with their first name -- that doesn't mean you should use it to address them.

 

[schrizto]

You should still address her as Dr.

 

[TexasFight]

Well damn.

I worked with her over the summer and when I talked to her then, I emailed her by her first name 🙁. But then she emailed me again about some work...

Does the situation change any? I just finished my freshman year of college when I worked with her... so maybe I came across as naive? (I'm a sophomore now). I called her by "Dr. ---" in person.

I know what I did wasn't that smart... but should I just keep addressing her by her first name in the email? I feel awkward. 😳 lol

P.S. someone doesn't need to post bleargh's avatar, I'm doing that to myself right now

 

[JJMrK]

Well damn.

I worked with her over the summer and when I talked to her then, I emailed her by her first name 🙁. But then she emailed me again about some work...

Does the situation change any? I just finished my freshman year of college when I worked with her... so maybe I came across as naive? (I'm a sophomore now). I called her by "Dr. ---" in person.

I know what I did wasn't that smart... but should I just keep addressing her by her first name in the email? I feel awkward. 😳 lol

If she's asking you to come back and work for her, you couldn't have done anything too wrong.

 

[NotSur]

.

 

[TexasFight]

If she's asking you to come back and work for her, you couldn't have done anything too wrong.

This is true. Should I just keep calling her by her first name though? And "Dr. ----" in person?

 

[dudechiefboss]

Hot Lips - no?

 

[Laryngophed]

Default to doctor. Though you could ask her how she prefers to be addressed. I know several doctors (MDs and PhDs) that prefer their first name, especially once they have established a close relationship with others. Just ask, I doubt she'll bite your head off, she'll let you know what she likes.

 

[chman]

Well damn.

I worked with her over the summer and when I talked to her then, I emailed her by her first name 🙁. But then she emailed me again about some work...

Does the situation change any? I just finished my freshman year of college when I worked with her... so maybe I came across as naive? (I'm a sophomore now). I called her by "Dr. ---" in person.

I know what I did wasn't that smart... but should I just keep addressing her by her first name in the email? I feel awkward. 😳 lol

P.S. someone doesn't need to post bleargh's avatar, I'm doing that to myself right now

Well that is a whole different story! This is my rule, if they ask you to call them by the first name then do so. If she had no problem before, then I don't see why she would all of a sudden. Maybe just ask her? Just say, "what would you prefer I call you by?" No biggie.

 

[RogueUnicorn]

Well damn.

I worked with her over the summer and when I talked to her then, I emailed her by her first name 🙁. But then she emailed me again about some work...

Does the situation change any? I just finished my freshman year of college when I worked with her... so maybe I came across as naive? (I'm a sophomore now). I called her by "Dr. ---" in person.

I know what I did wasn't that smart... but should I just keep addressing her by her first name in the email? I feel awkward. 😳 lol

P.S. someone doesn't need to post bleargh's avatar, I'm doing that to myself right now

you rang? =)

but i don't really find this situation palmface worthy. don't get overly concerned - lots of people prefer first names. yes. even doctors.

 

[dw2158]

Well damn.

I worked with her over the summer and when I talked to her then, I emailed her by her first name 🙁. But then she emailed me again about some work...

Does the situation change any? I just finished my freshman year of college when I worked with her... so maybe I came across as naive? (I'm a sophomore now). I called her by "Dr. ---" in person.

I know what I did wasn't that smart... but should I just keep addressing her by her first name in the email? I feel awkward. 😳 lol

P.S. someone doesn't need to post bleargh's avatar, I'm doing that to myself right now

i assumed after your original post that you didn't really know this person or had met her once. but if you have some kind of relationship with her then you're totally fine! she probably prefers her first name if that's what she signs emails with.

Well that is a whole different story! This is my rule, if they ask you to call them by the first name then do so. If she had no problem before, then I don't see why she would all of a sudden. Maybe just ask her? Just say, "what would you prefer I call you by?" No biggie.

agreed.

 

[just one]

you rang? =)

but i don't really find this situation palmface worthy. don't get overly concerned - lots of people prefer first names. yes. even doctors.

I don't care what they prefer, they earned the respect of the title and I always say it. Never had any complaints or indications yet.

 

[oldbearprofessor]

I would be cautious about referring to faculty by first name for two reasons. First, although she used it in an email, sometimes folks routinely sign emails with their first name and forget if it is going to a student or not. Default for faculty is last name unless she specifically says otherwise. Second, even though she may not care, if you get used to it and use her first name in a group setting or email that goes to multiple faculty, another faculty may not like that you referred to a faculty member by their first name and not know it was "with permission." I've seen this happen before.

You can ask her a preference, but I recommend sticking with Dr. unless she specifically initiates the "call me Jane" conversation.

 

[jvesco22]

I don't care what they prefer, they earned the respect of the title and I always say it. Never had any complaints or idications yet.

One of the dumbest things I've read today. You don't care what they prefer? They probably don't "complain" to you because they feel sorry for you, knowing that you just don't get it...

They know very well that they've earned the title Dr. But if someone has a preference, it's pretty naive for you to disregard it. That person will probably never look at you in a good light if you insist on addressing them in a manner in which they don't "prefer"

 

[chman]

On a side note, and I will probably get flamed for this, I find it kind of pretentious when Dr.'s insist on being called doctor in non-professional settings. Like at a party or something.

 

[jvesco22]

On a side note, and I will probably get flamed for this, I find it kind of pretentious when Dr.'s insist on being called doctor in non-professional settings. Like at a party or something.

I'm sure many others feel the same way, me included. Not just with doctors, but for any status with an associated Prefix. If someone insisted on being called Dr. XXX at a party or a dinner, I would probably decline a second gathering.

 

[Moonglow]

Address a doctor in all situations as "Dr. ______" until you and (s)he have developed a relationship outside the profession.

 

[just one]

One of the dumbest things I've read today. You don't care what they prefer? They probably don't "complain" to you because they feel sorry for you, knowing that you just don't get it...

They know very well that they've earned the title Dr. But if someone has a preference, it's pretty naive for you to disregard it. That person will probably never look at you in a good light if you insist on addressing them in a manner in which they don't "prefer"

When you politely say "I feel more comfortable calling you Dr. X", my lors And recommendations to other physicians for shadowing opportunities indicate otherwise.

 

[jvesco22]

I don't know how old you guys are, but when you become more social, you'll learn that the sooner you start calling someone by the name they prefer, the sooner you will start to develop a more personal relationship with that person.

 

[BerlinDude]

If she signs off with her first name, say Jane, what she is saying is "Call me Jane". So, call her by her first name.

If she is in front of patients or coworkers, use 'Dr' regardless. That is something you do so the patient feels like he is being treated be professionals, and not for the doctor.

 

[flip26]

If she signs off with her first name, say Jane, what she is saying is "Call me Jane". So, call her by her first name.

If she is in front of patients or coworkers, use 'Dr' regardless. That is something you do so the patient feels like he is being treated be professionals, and not for the doctor.

Not really.

Only if she says to you, face to face, "call me Jane" will you have gotten that green light.

Until then, address her as Dr.

 

[tennisball80]

Is she hot or not?

 

[Nafis64]

BOTH PIs, who are MDs that I work under sign with their first name only (and I am not talking about a standard signature), and i call them by their first name. when they sign in that manner it just shows that they don't care, so don't freak out. There is nothing wrong with it. You can continue to call them either way, but its not bad to ask them what they prefer if you talk to them always. Remember its no biggie.

 

[URHere]

I think the "Dr" vs "First Name" argument also depends on where in the country you live. In the North East, for example, it is extremely uncommon for anyone to call a physician or researcher anything other than, "doctor". On the other hand, in the North West, most doctors I've met prefer to do without the title.

Where in the country are you from? More importantly, where is the doctor from?

Anyway, when in doubt I would ask another student in the clinic/lab which title they use for her. If they can't help you, there's no shame in asking her directly.

 

[TexasFight]

I would be cautious about referring to faculty by first name for two reasons. First, although she used it in an email, sometimes folks routinely sign emails with their first name and forget if it is going to a student or not. Default for faculty is last name unless she specifically says otherwise. Second, even though she may not care, if you get used to it and use her first name in a group setting or email that goes to multiple faculty, another faculty may not like that you referred to a faculty member by their first name and not know it was "with permission." I've seen this happen before.

You can ask her a preference, but I recommend sticking with Dr. unless she specifically initiates the "call me Jane" conversation.

This was definitely helpful. Thanks!

Where in the country are you from? More importantly, where is the doctor from?

We're from Texas 🙂


Thanks for all the responses everyone! I'm just going to switch back to addressing her as "Dr.---" in the emails and in person unless she corrects me otherwise. (I've always called her "Dr." in person anyway)

 

[MossPoh]

I have always said "Dr." or "Prof." or whatever they are until asked to otherwise. After a few emails if they always sign off with just their first name and have very informal writing techniques, then I MIGHT go by first name. It always felt tremendously awkward for me. I'm on a first name basis with one of my old professors now, but I kind of earned that when I graduated.

 

[chman]

If they can't help you, there's no shame in asking her directly.

I think this is what it comes down to. No shame in asking.

 

[Food]

Dr. - Always. In fact, I even address residents as "Dr." until they tell me to call them by their first name. At least you've accorded the proper respect this way.