A new look on "life"

[Angel_Eyes]

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First of all, let me begin this post by congratulating those of you who are accepted and/or waitlisted at the medical schools of your choice. I know how hard you all worked to get there and you deserve a big pat on the back...(go ahead, give yourself one now for me!)

I, however, was not so lucky. But I was comforted in a way that has put my enitre life thus far into perspective....I am having a baby. My fiance and I have been engaged for 4 years now. We've been waiting to get married until after I've graduated from undergrad (in may). Although this has been a big surprise, it has been one of the most wonderful experiences I have ever imagined...including an acceptance letter to medical school.
I guess I am posting this because for the last year I have prowled this site seeking answers to questions to which all of you knew the answer to and didn't hesitate to help me. Well, here is my $0.02:

Ever since I entered college I have had my sights focused on the day that I would be called "doc" and be able to give people the answers to their most terrifing, embarassing and worrysome questions...the day that I would finally be someone who made a difference. I never realized how caught up I was in pursuing this life until I found out that I was pregnant. This has put so many things in perspective and have adjusted my priorities accordingly. I will tell you that my dream of being a physician was just as deep and driven as the rest of yours...until I discovered the new path my life would be taking. Nothing I have done in my life will ever compare with what I will accomplish as a mother, and to tell ya'll the truth- nothing else seems near as important. I will still work in medicine...after taking a year off I am planning on getting my master's in nursing. This way I can still work in medicine with an advanced degree and still see patients but I will be able to devote more time to my family as opposed to the time that would be dedicated to being a physician.

I know that you are wondering , "Where is she going with this?" Well my point is this...

No matter what you do in your life, be sure that you do not lose sight of the importantance of why we are here in the first place. Make sure you are doing what makes you happy and allows you to wake up every morning and say " I love my life!!" Serve humanity with kindness no matter what and for the short period of time that we are on this earth do something incredible!

Again...congratulations to all of you on your acceptances. And to those of you still waiting or applying next year...Good luck, and remember...everything happens for a reason (take my example).

Thanks to all of you for your help with my posts this last year. I am greatful.
Good luck and God Bless!!


😉

 

[Tweetie_bird]

Why have so many people read your post and chosen not to respond....this is a good thing guys!!! She's happy with the decisions she has made. 🙂

Let me tell you, that i know exctly what you're tlaking about. A few months ago my fiance (now husband) and I got married. I think that everybody goes through a few defining moments in life where the decisions we made defines us. In your example, you have realized how family is much, much more important than career and there may be no such feeling as wonderful as being a mother. That is great. I went through the same realization that no matter where I go in life, this person that I am marrying is going to be the primary focus in my life no matter where I am--whether in medical school or a stay-at-home wife. I think what you have decided is great; but let me tell you that there may be others who will say, "well, she never wanted to be a doctor THAT badly anyway because blah blah blah...." Don't let that ever get you down because those people have never walked and will never walk in your shoes. Be true to what you're doing and be happy with hte decisions you make because the only person you can really control is yourself!

I hope that as the months move on, you learn and grow with your experiences and realize an even deeper meaning of "life" as your family takes on a new definition. I'm so happy for you. Obviously, you have made the right decision for yourself and your feelings of being content shine through. Good luck and I hope you at least stay on SDN because it serves as a wonderful resource for ALL healthcare professionals.

Be well and don't forget to have those oranges and Folic Acid!!! 🙂

Tweetie

 

[sdnsdn]

I am so happy to hear of your new addition. Though I have no children myself, I know that there will be nothing in my life that will compare to bringing a new soul to the earth. I wanted to share my experience with you because I might have a subtle understanding of what you may be going through.

A few years ago, I left medicine ?forever? for the promise of having a career that would make married and eventual family life easier. We all know that there are less time consuming ways of making a living and equally challenging intellectual endeavors out there. I worked as an engineer for two years and discovered something very important about medicine: there simply is no substitute for the intellectual and emotional wholeness of the experience. When I realized that I made a mistake, I initially looked at masters programs in nursing. It seemed like a nice compromise between family life and medicine. That lasted for a few months until I realized that becoming a nurse or midwife was for me exactly that: a compromise. Please do not misunderstand. I think that nurses are every bit as vital (if not more so if you have ever had experience as a patient) to the role that doctors play. For me however, I initially choose to become a doctor because of very specific aspects of my personality: curiosity and a penchant for creating plans and contingency plans. Those attributes did not diminish as my life became more complicated (and rewarding). Ignoring those portions of myself for a good overall life plan might have left me wanting as my career progressed.

Though I am very happy that you have formulated as plan for your career, I worry about the possibility that this large change in your life might be enough to deal with without the prospect of planning a career in medicine as well. You do not have to decide now. Settle yourself with the idea of starting a family and then focus on your career plan. There will certainly be time for it all in the end.

Take care and congratulations on the new blessing.

 

[lattimer13]

congrats angel_eyes. sounds like you are very happy. seeing as how you are from arizona also, i hope to someday be your colleague. best of luck with the baby and your fiance. i think i PMed you a while back about a thread you started. did you ever get that PM? anyways, again, best of luck with and happy to hear you've had such a life experience.

 

[JM.]

Congrats and good luck!

 

[DoubleL]

Originally posted by Angel_Eyes
No matter what you do in your life, be sure that you do not lose sight of the importantance of why we are here in the first place. Make sure you are doing what makes you happy and allows you to wake up every morning and say " I love my life!!" Serve humanity with kindness no matter what and for the short period of time that we are on this earth do something incredible!
😉

This is an excellent quote!

As Joseph Campbell said, "Follow your bliss!" That is the meaning of life.

LL

 

[agent]

congrats on your pregnancy.. im having my babies now as well.

its not the wrong way to go if it feels right to you 😉

 

[MichiMO]

Congrats on this exciting news and new life direction!

I think your post serves as a valuable reminder for us all who are so narrowly focused on getting into medical school, being a doctor. Sometimes we forget that life still has many more surprises in store that might not fit into our perfectly formulated plans and that is okay. Life is all about growing and changing in ways we never thought possible.

Also, this reminds me of another quote I heard somwhere that I think we all should keep in mind, " your job usually makes up 90% of what makes you miserable, while your family usually makes up 90% of what makes you happy...make your choices accordingly."

I hope I can learn that balance and I solute Angel-Eyes courage in making a big decision to achieve it!

 

[lola]

congratulations, angel_eyes! 🙂 you're going to be a mommy!

it sounds like you are in a place you'd like to be -- with family! i admire you for being able to sort out what is really important to you and pursue your life/career accordingly. nursing is a great option, particularly for women wanting a family. you can truly make a difference as a nurse while still having lots of time for your family. it is something i will definitely reconsider if i do not get in this year. best of luck!

-lola

 

[mgw519]

Congrats, Angel-Eyes. The grace and maturity with which you are handling such an unexpected life decision truly confirms that you will be a great mom.

I raise my glass to you!

 

[irlandesa]

Congrats 2X over, first on the baby, and second, you just made someone on the UA waitlist very happy! sounds like you will be successful in whatever you do, best wishes

 

[jennie 21]

AngelEyes,
Your joy and your sense of peace with yourself shine through in your post. I wish you and your baby the best. You sound so happy about being a mother. It's so wonderful that you feel this is a blessing, even if unexpected.

You are definitely right that there is much more to life than medical school. As a pre-med, sometimes it's easy to forget that. I truly believe that being a doctor is my vocation, what I am meant to do. Yet I look at myself after four years of being a pre-med and I don't like how anxious I am, or how one-dimensional I've become. I know I used to have wider interests, but I've become so focused on this one thing.

I agree that it's very important to do what you love and to do something that makes you happy. I think it's great that you're going to be a nurse, as long as that's what you really want. It's true that it's hard to balance being a doctor with having a family, and I worry how I will do it. My plan right now is to go into a family-friendly area of medicine, like pediatrics, and work part-time while my children are young. At one point I considered becoming a nurse, but for me it would not be as satisfying as being a physician. But if it's right for you, that's wonderful. Being a nurse is every bit as worthwhile and important as being a doctor...and with the nurse shortage, you will be needed.

It takes grace and strength to take something like this in stride and embrace it as the blessing it is, and I admire you.

 

[aznwangsta]

Congratulations AngelEyes!
More precious and exciting than any big packet will be the tiny miracle in your arms!
And to put the importance of motherhood into perspective:
I remember shadowing my aunt around years ago in college. She's a pediatric neurosurgeon, and showed me a tiny patient in the ward. I had the opportunity to place my fingers gently on the fontanel of the baby. It was an INCREDIBLE experience. It made me realize why I wanted to go into medicine, which is to experience the miracle of life over and over again.
But I know that even such experiences won't even compare to when I look into my own child's eyes for the first time. I hope I come across people like you in the future, as a physician and nurse, working together to heal patients.

 

[Angel_Eyes]

Thank you all so much for your support !! I was actually tearing up reading your posts!! - mabey that's just the hormones though!!

I wish you all the best of luck and who knows...mabey in a few years I will be a "non-traditional" student who many of you in your chief residency status will have the pleasure of tourturing. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea...I am becoming a nurse to better suit my new lifestyle while still being able to work in medicine. This is DEFINITELY what I want to do for now...but who knows, mabey in a few years I will want to try again and go through this whole application cycle a second time....( this would actually have to mean that I have forgotten what a dreadfull, expensive and exhaustive cycle this all is!) The point is...I have the rest of my life to give another shot at medical school and with children, especially babies, this time is so precious and quick that I don't want to miss a thing.

Again, thank you all so much and best wishes! You all are such great people and that shows through with your kind words and supportive posts!! I can't say it enough- Thank you!

 

[MDDreamer]

I must admit that the first time I read the OP's post, I was taken aback by the decision. I wondered why someone would abandon their lifetime goal of becoming a doctor, especially after a long and arduous journey though undergrad, MCATs, and applying. If I was in her shoes, I would go to medical school just for the principle of finishing the deal, and then focus on other priorities like family.

But the decision was based on the bigger picture of success and happiness in LIFE. Her courage to opt for nursing school when she clearly could have gon to med school challenged me to rethink about my priorities and the reason why I wanted to go to medical school. It is easy to get caught up in the process and not see the big picture.

Congratulations on your baby and your decision. I am sure you will make the best of it.