AbidingSquare
New Member
- Joined
- May 7, 2024
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Hi SDN! I’m prewriting secondaries and was brainstorming what I should write for my adversity secondary. One event jumped out at me pretty immediately; throughout college, one of the most difficult situations I struggled with was my relationship with my parents, which got pretty bad over college. They're pretty much your typical tiger parents; skimming over details, college was really rough in terms of learning how to be independent/ripping off a lot of bandaids/learning to set boundaries with them as they were really intrusive with privacy, controlling, and very candidly pretty manipulative. Reflecting back, they really struggled hard with empty nest, and I was home during COVID after a semester on campus, and the proximity made things way worse.
It was a really important time for me because I happened to get into a conflict resolution class, and I really learned a lot about working through emotionally charged conflicts through it—the things I learned were really helpful in navigating my personal relationship difficulties (sometimes I wonder if things are put in my life for a reason.) I thought it might be a potentially good topic to talk about as it was one of the most defining things that happened to me during college. I learned a lot about how my parents were raised and the cultural differences that strained my relationship with them. I’ve also learned a ton about conflict resolution and communication with those who don’t agree with you, but was wondering if it would be appropriate to talk about it/how to approach talking about this. I didn't want to make it sound like I was throwing my parents under the bus; I absolutely don’t want to write that they were controlling or manipulative since I feel like that would raise some flags and take away from what I learned. I wasn’t sure how much to divulge though as to a certain extent I feel like I need to talk about what happened to set up the story and why it meant so much to me (and as an intrusive thought, was also concerned if it might be seen as a “typical asian kid story" yikes) Has anybody written a secondary like this? Thanks so much!
It was a really important time for me because I happened to get into a conflict resolution class, and I really learned a lot about working through emotionally charged conflicts through it—the things I learned were really helpful in navigating my personal relationship difficulties (sometimes I wonder if things are put in my life for a reason.) I thought it might be a potentially good topic to talk about as it was one of the most defining things that happened to me during college. I learned a lot about how my parents were raised and the cultural differences that strained my relationship with them. I’ve also learned a ton about conflict resolution and communication with those who don’t agree with you, but was wondering if it would be appropriate to talk about it/how to approach talking about this. I didn't want to make it sound like I was throwing my parents under the bus; I absolutely don’t want to write that they were controlling or manipulative since I feel like that would raise some flags and take away from what I learned. I wasn’t sure how much to divulge though as to a certain extent I feel like I need to talk about what happened to set up the story and why it meant so much to me (and as an intrusive thought, was also concerned if it might be seen as a “typical asian kid story" yikes) Has anybody written a secondary like this? Thanks so much!
