Advice and Perspective Needed

[bextehude]

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I have always been a type-A kind of person. Very driven and motivated to learn more and succeed. However, I have had a lot of psychological problems creep up on me since my senior year of high school. I'm a sophomore in college and though I keep trying to ignore this intuition I have about going into medicine, dismissing it as a far-fetched idea, I can't stop thinking about becoming a doctor. No matter what I imagine myself doing in the future, it just doesn't seem as satisfying and as helpful as becoming a doctor. Plenty of fields help people, but I just can't get this nagging idea of becoming a doctor out of my head.

As I said, my depression and anxiety has become worse in the past few years, and though I am taking classes far below my ability level (like geology), I am making Bs in them. I think I can raise my grades this semester, and last year I made a 3.75 in non-science classes.

I also think I should shadow physicians this semester to either pour gasoline on this nagging idea (which would mean I commit to becoming a doctor) or to suffocate it altogether (if I realize it isn't for me).

If I do decide that I want to become a doctor, do you think I can ever make up for my sagging GPA? I know I am capable of working hard. I just haven't been able to lately.

Thanks all-

 

[13132]

I have always been a type-A kind of person. Very driven and motivated to learn more and succeed. However, I have had a lot of psychological problems creep up on me since my senior year of high school. I'm a sophomore in college and though I keep trying to ignore this intuition I have about going into medicine, dismissing it as a far-fetched idea, I can't stop thinking about becoming a doctor. No matter what I imagine myself doing in the future, it just doesn't seem as satisfying and as helpful as becoming a doctor. Plenty of fields help people, but I just can't get this nagging idea of becoming a doctor out of my head.

As I said, my depression and anxiety has become worse in the past few years, and though I am taking classes far below my ability level (like geology), I am making Bs in them. I think I can raise my grades this semester, and last year I made a 3.75 in non-science classes.

I also think I should shadow physicians this semester to either pour gasoline on this nagging idea (which would mean I commit to becoming a doctor) or to suffocate it altogether (if I realize it isn't for me).

If I do decide that I want to become a doctor, do you think I can ever make up for my sagging GPA? I know I am capable of working hard. I just haven't been able to lately.

Thanks all-

It could be that you are trying to force yourself down a path you really aren't meant for. It really could be a million things that can't be discerned from a 3 paragraph post. I think you can answer this question better than anyone on here.

 

[Catalystik]

How "sagging" is your GPA?

What type of professional help have you sought to help control the depression and anxiety?

Doing some shadowing is a great idea to help you sort things out. Volunteering in any way where you can help others is another good thing to do.

 

[bextehude]

You are definitely right - I am truly not sure what I want to do with myself. My father is a doctor, and a great one at that. We've had personal conflicts so I associate the whole field of medicine with our personal problems, which I think might be a huge mistake. When I shadow with him I see an entirely different side of him and I fall in love with his job. We're eerily similar, and it's hard for me to accept that.

 

[luckyducky87]

I also think that shadowing will be a great way to find out what you're "getting yourself into." (or rather, what excitement you'll be getting yourself into 🙂)

I think this process is hard enough without depression/anxiety problems. The application process itself is very stressful and really toys with your self-esteem. Med school and residency will also be a tough journey. I think you'll need to really pull yourself up before diving into this arduous path... have a more confident, healthier, and positive image of yourself -- otherwise, it's really hard to pitch for yourself as a good candidate 🙂 Good luck! I think you can do it if this is really what you want!

 

[luckyducky87]

You are definitely right - I am truly not sure what I want to do with myself. My father is a doctor, and a great one at that. We've had personal conflicts so I associate the whole field of medicine with our personal problems, which I think might be a huge mistake. When I shadow with him I see an entirely different side of him and I fall in love with his job. We're eerily similar, and it's hard for me to accept that.

Shadow someone other than your father. You may feel differently! Bad association can really do damage... (at least it did for me, with research...)

 

[Catalystik]

Shadow someone other than your father.

Absoluntely agree. With your dad's contacts, this should be easy to arrange.