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[Mind_Over_Matter]

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I can't seem to get off this guilt-laden track, so I would appreciate some candid advice. Admittedly, this has been a very strenuous decision and a rocky transition for me and my family.

To give you some background, I graduated with an Accounting and Financial Reporting degree in 2011 and had been working in my field since. I am a single mom to a 9-year old boy and also moved Mom in with me after my Dad passed away last year. I quit my career as a finance analyst this past April and began a post-bacc pre-med program at the University of Michigan. In addition to the pre-req coursework, I am volunteering at the hospital and am currently involved in a research project at the Cancer Center.

I feel quite overwhelmed with the culminating stressors in my life and I can't seem to push forward. Prior to pursuing medicine, I realized that it would be a rigorous path, but my passion for the field motivated me. Now that I am immersed in the coursework, I feel like it has taken hold of my life -- I leave to school before my son wakes up and come home when he's already in bed. The guilt pangs of motherhood won't subside and I can't seem to focus on my studies as a result -- I am in a constant state of questioning my path. Normally, I am better able to channel such thoughts to more positive avenues, but now I'm finding myself continuously needing to redirect my emotions.

At this point, I'm wondering if I have sacrificed too much to pursue my passions. From a monetary standpoint, I would have been making the same as a physician in my former career by the time I am finished with med school -- so, money is not a factor. I know my calling is in contributing more profoundly to society and I was hoping to accomplish just that as a physician.

I am still in the beginning stages and am looking for direction. I know that other single mothers managed to get through it, so if you read this, any advice would be appreciated. I'm in the process of assessing whether I should keep going.

 

[Engeniero89]

First of all I'm sure you're doing a great job as a parent & I have seen many successful parents on sdn that seem to have really excelled in medical school & undergrad! It can definitely be done!

As for advice, you've committed to this seeing as you're in a post-bacc program & quit your job. As long as you can maintain excellence in your grades while simultaneously being an excellent parent there is no reason why you should not pursue your passions & dreams.

Stay positive! I know it can be done!

 

[Goro]

I have had single moms as students, and moms who lived witht he kids while dad was somewhere else, so it can be done.

Time mgt is the key.

You can stretch out you work on the pre-reqs and ECs. Just don't take one course/year. Two a semester is optimal, but you have the do well.

Just remember, it's a marathon, not a sprint.

I can't seem to get off this guilt-laden track, so I would appreciate some candid advice. Admittedly, this has been a very strenuous decision and a rocky transition for me and my family.

To give you some background, I graduated with an Accounting and Financial Reporting degree in 2011 and had been working in my field since. I am a single mom to a 9-year old boy and also moved Mom in with me after my Dad passed away last year. I quit my career as a finance analyst this past April and began a post-bacc pre-med program at the University of Michigan. In addition to the pre-req coursework, I am volunteering at the hospital and am currently involved in a research project at the Cancer Center.

I feel quite overwhelmed with the culminating stressors in my life and I can't seem to push forward. Prior to pursuing medicine, I realized that it would be a rigorous path, but my passion for the field motivated me. Now that I am immersed in the coursework, I feel like it has taken hold of my life -- I leave to school before my son wakes up and come home when he's already in bed. The guilt pangs of motherhood won't subside and I can't seem to focus on my studies as a result -- I am in a constant state of questioning my path. Normally, I am better able to channel such thoughts to more positive avenues, but now I'm finding myself continuously needing to redirect my emotions.

At this point, I'm wondering if I have sacrificed too much to pursue my passions. From a monetary standpoint, I would have been making the same as a physician in my former career by the time I am finished with med school -- so, money is not a factor. I know my calling is in contributing more profoundly to society and I was hoping to accomplish just that as a physician.

I am still in the beginning stages and am looking for direction. I know that other single mothers managed to get through it, so if you read this, any advice would be appreciated. I'm in the process of assessing whether I should keep going.

 

[mavric1298]

It's going to require some sacrifices, but make sure you are being balanced. Set aside some time here or there that is exclusively for your children, and learn to disengage from school and just enjoy that time. I don't see my wife nearly as much as I would like (leave for work before she's up, then I'm up at school until the evening, and if I want to work out or do anything, it means I realllllly don't get to see her. But we make sure to set some time aside, and make it work as best we can until med school. Then it's only trying to balance school, which will be just about the same amount of work as full time career and full time classes now.

 

[Shjanzey]

Once med school starts the time requirements will only increase. It will be way more than you can imagine. Although that sounds terrifying, the positive is that you don't have to go to lecture and can pretty much do everything from home except for required labs. For the amount of work, there is just as much freedom

 

[LizLemongrab]

I'm now a geographically single mom and I feel your pain. I went through something similar in undergraduate and the thing my husband and friends always told me is that as long as my child is happy, clothed, fed, physically and emotionally safe, and well-socialized (not necessarily prioritized in that order), that it will all be OK. Your son will understand, more so as he gets older.

Do you have a means of setting up scheduled quality time where you can set aside the weekends or even every other weekend in such a way that you can devote that time to bonding with your son? When I got better at time management (spend almost all downtime studying/working on assignments, rare socialization with classmates unless it was chatting about our assignments/project feedback), I found that I could spend my weekends with my family as long as I got everything done on the weekdays.

The guilt never really subsides. Believe me, I always wish I could be a better mom more consistently, but the reality is even if I weren't doing what I've been doing, I'd most likely be unhappy and unfulfilled which would likely decrease my efficiency and effectiveness as a mom. I think the best thing is to temper your guilt with other perspectives that remind you why you are doing this and how it benefits both you and your son in the long run. It seems to be working for me so far.