Already committed to a program, but taken off another waitlist..

[KY0914]

Hey guys, I am completely new to this and have chosen to join simply because it appears as though I might be able to find answers that I haven't been able to find on my own or from others. From reading past posts, it seems like I have a lot in common with many of you... hopefully you can help!

I am currently in a position where I have literally just found out that I have been taken off the waitlist at my number one pick, but keep in mind, I have already committed to another program due to the fact that I had to accept/refuse the offers I did receive by April 15.

My number one pick (and the school that initially waitlisted me) was University of Loyola Maryland and the school I accepted an offer at is Xavier. As much as I was bummed not to get my first choice, I am extremely happy with my second choice and up until now, was extremely happy to finally be done with this entire process and excited to get started in the fall. But now that I have been given the opportunity to go to my number one choice, I am in a state of total panic. Do I revoke my acceptance at Xavier? Or do I tell Loyola, "Thanks, but I have decided to stay with the school who's offer I have already accepted?" Honestly, both programs offer what I am looking for out of a program and have faculty that are doing things that are related to my personal interests (a reason I chose to apply to both) and is not something I cannot base my decision off of. I have considered all the different pros and cons at each school.. cost, location, etc. and everything sort of balances out in some way, shape, or form. I feel like it should be easy, I have been accepted by my top pick.. GO! But I have grown to really love what I have to expect at Xavier's program and the decision is now harder than I imagined.

Any thoughts? In a general sense, is one better than the other? What do I do?! 😕

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

What is the financial impact of each program? I think both programs are well regarded, so I don't think one would be viewed significantly better than the other. Also, which is a better research match for you?

 

[Eivuwan]

I thought that once you accept an offer, it's really bad to renege it. Wouldn't you be burning bridges with the people at Xavier?

Edit: Changed "revoke" to "renege"

 

[KY0914]

Financially, Xavier is significantly cheaper and the program also offers its students an assistantship within the program. Loyola on the other hand, does not. I will be taking out loans for both and also have an agreement with my parents that when it comes time to pay off my debt, that they will contribute as much as they can.. so the financial aspect of, although extremely daunting, isn't as much of a factor as other things. As far as research matches, Xavier has an emphasis area in severe mental illness.. which is actually where all of my research interests lie. However, with both schools being Psy.D. programs, a research match isn't a huge of a factor (initially I thought Xavier had more emphasis in research, but at the interview they stressed that it does not play a huge role in the curriculum).. also because my clinical interests are mostly in psychotherapy in a general, higher functioning adult population - which is what, as of right now, I think I want to do once I complete my degree and is training that will be available to me in both programs. It would be nice, though, to still be able to get some specialized training and education in the severe mental illness area. The other added bonus is that it is closer to home. If for some reason it turns out that I hate the city or that the program wasn't what I was expecting, I can still drive home on the weekends to get away and relieve some stress. Baltimore on the other hand, does not give me that option.. flying home every weekend isn't feasible by any means!

Despite the the pluses Xavier offers, the reason I chose Loyola (other than it being a reputable program and offering what I want) is because it is Baltimore. I am from, and still live in, Louisville, KY. With that said, I haven't had the exposure to as wide a range of populations that a diverse city like Baltimore has to offer. Even though Xavier has an emphasis in severe mental illness, I know that just through placement sites in Baltimore, I would still be able to get that exposure. Also, Baltimore offers more a greater amount of resources than Cincinnati does, and with its close proximity to DC, Philadelphia, and NY, I know that I will have access to more (and probably better) practicum sites, internship sites, and future employment if I wind up staying in the area.

I guess, really, I just don't know what's more important to take into consideration. Also, I'm usually not much of a risk taker and initially, I was also using graduate school as my chance to experience life a little more and see what else is out there. Cincinnati, despite being significantly larger than my hometown, is not much of a change. It is in the same region of the country and the lifestyle is almost, if not exactly, the same. I know my education at this point is most important, but I also don't want to regret not taking this opportunity to change things up a little.

 

[KY0914]

That is what I have heard, and that is what I am afraid of.. especially because I am happy with my choice there. It's just that Loyola was my number one choice and with the offer now on the table, I feel like I need to consider it.

 

[PsychStudent101]

Remember, you were accepted off of LM's waitlist. Xavier has a waitlist too. If you deny their acceptance, they will choose someone off of their waitlist to fill your spot. While it would be nice not to burn any bridges, the people at Xavier will not hold a grudge against you the rest of your life. Furthermore, you don't want to regret not choosing your number one.

 

[Eivuwan]

Remember, you were accepted off of LM's waitlist. Xavier has a waitlist too. If you deny their acceptance, they will choose someone off of their waitlist to fill your spot. While it would be nice not to burn any bridges, the people at Xavier will not hold a grudge against you the rest of your life. Furthermore, you don't want to regret not choosing your number one.

Yeah, but it's pretty late. The people at Xavier might not have anymore people on their waitlist. If that's the case, the OP would be screwing them over which is unethical.

 

[psychgirl77]

You need to do what is best for you. If you will always wonder what would have happened had you gone to your number one choice when you had the chance then you should go there. Would you regret not going there? That is what you need to ask yourself. You should not stay at one program simply because you are afraid of burning bridges. This is your entire life you are talking about.

 

[busybusybusy]

You need to do what is best for you. If you will always wonder what would have happened had you gone to your number one choice when you had the chance then you should go there. Would you regret not going there? That is what you need to ask yourself. You should not stay at one program simply because you are afraid of burning bridges. This is your entire life you are talking about.

Agreed! Especially if you think you're going to get superior training/experiences at Loyola it would be not only in your best interest but the best interest of your future clients. I know it's not nice and some people may say it's unethical, but the fact remains that you (as far as I know) are not a saint and will need to put yourself first sometimes.

I wouldn't worry about burning the bridges at Xavier too much either, they probably won't remember your name in a year. Also, I'm assuming since you're getting a PsyD you want to do more clinical work, the burning bridges is more importnant when applying to work with a specific researcher who takes one person a year, not a school that takes a larger cohort and doesn't work under a mentor model.

 

[irish80122]

I must admit I am surprised by how understanding people have been in this thread, and honestly it disturbs me to an extent. When a program offers you an offer they have to abide by it, they can't take it back. Likewise, I think it is important that we treat our commitment as seriously. It is meant to be a binding agreement, and pulling out of it is certainly poor form. This is especially true if you will work with a certain advisor. In these cases, the waitlist students are often rejected as soon as an applicant accepts the offer.

Further, it will significantly affect the program. Xavier isn't one of these Psy.D. programs that takes hundreds, you represent more than 5% of their class. Losing you at this point will significantly affect them. As others have mentioned, it is very late in the game, and they have almost surely gotten rid of their waitlist. They probably can't go and fill your spot, it will likely go unfilled.

I understand the pull to go for your original first choice, but at the same time our word has to be good for something. It is hard to know how many bridges you will burn, or what effect it will have on you in the long-run, but I personally wouldn't want to risk it. In our profession our reputations are very important, and becoming known for backing out on your commitments would be extremely damaging. Later on, for internship for instance, you will essentially be blacklisted if you back out because you are making a commitment and they are planning on you coming. I don't see how this is different, especially at this stage.

At the end of the day, it is your decision. I just think it is important for you to know that switching at this point really could haunt you later, and it could significantly hurt the program that accepted you before April 15th.

 

[irish80122]

I wouldn't worry about burning the bridges at Xavier too much either, they probably won't remember your name in a year. Also, I'm assuming since you're getting a PsyD you want to do more clinical work, the burning bridges is more importnant when applying to work with a specific researcher who takes one person a year, not a school that takes a larger cohort and doesn't work under a mentor model.

I just wanted to touch on two points here. First, although Xavier is a Psy.D. program, they don't take large classes http://www.xavier.edu/psychology-doctorate/Attrition.cfm. Second, granted I am at a Ph.D. program, but there have been applicants that I can think of as far ago as three years ago who said things that were misleading during their interviews, which is a far lesser sin. Speaking only for myself, I still know their names.

 

[Eivuwan]

I must admit I am surprised by how understanding people have been in this thread, and honestly it disturbs me to an extent. When a program offers you an offer they have to abide by it, they can't take it back. Likewise, I think it is important that we treat our commitment as seriously. It is meant to be a binding agreement, and pulling out of it is certainly poor form. This is especially true if you will work with a certain advisor. In these cases, the waitlist students are often rejected as soon as an applicant accepts the offer.

I am shocked as well.


To OP: Backing out of a commitment is suppose to be a big no-no (and unethical) for any doctoral program. Besides, you are happy with Xavier, and your reasons for wanting Loyola are mainly location issues. That to me is not exactly a legitimate reason to screw a program over. Like irish80122 said, Xavier does not have a large class size AND they have already invested money into you. In this case, it is more like backing out of a commitment to a PhD program than to a Psyd program with a class size of 100.

 

[psychapps]

Financially, Xavier is significantly cheaper and the program also offers its students an assistantship within the program. Loyola on the other hand, does not. I will be taking out loans for both and also have an agreement with my parents that when it comes time to pay off my debt, that they will contribute as much as they can.. so the financial aspect of, although extremely daunting, isn't as much of a factor as other things.

If all else is equal between the two schools, I would go for the school with the better financial package, which looks to be Xavier from your post.

I obviously don't know anything about your family's situation, but you might want to consider whether the money your parents are promising you is money they have to spare or whether they are actually shifting the funds away from retirement savings, etc. If the latter, you might want to ease the burden on them (and yourself) by sticking with Xavier.

 

[Phipps]

I am shocked as well.


To OP: Backing out of a commitment is suppose to be a big no-no (and unethical) for any doctoral program. Besides, you are happy with Xavier, and your reasons for wanting Loyola are mainly location issues.

I was under the impression that the commitment to a school is binding but I understand your dilemma. I am sure I lot of us dreamt that they would get off wait-list into their no. 1 - at least, that is true for me. I chose no. 2 and, since my no. 1 is the same like yours 🙂, I hear you!!!

In regard to practica, internships, etc. (more the latter): if you desire to apply to internship sites at the Eastern corridor, you are free to do so even if you are at Xavier. It does not limit you, right? I remember Loyola mentioning that their students get maybe more easily into Hopkins, KKI, etc. - but hey, not all are from Loyola.

I would not want to choose Loyola mainly b/c of location. Also, crime rates are high and, believe it or not, all the violence in the city affects one's mood - sooner or later. At least that is true for me. There is a lot of horrendous stuff going on here, most of the time, days/night.

G'luck. Hope you can be happy with whatever decision you make.

 

[krisrox]

I wish someone had given me this advice when I was in a bind: When your making a choice that is ultimately going to hurt someone else (or, in your case, another program), make the decision that makes YOU happy. If Loyola is going to make you happy, go.

You are not the first and will not be the last person to change your mind after the deadline. Mark, a guy who used to post on here (still does?) got an offer from his #1 program after he had committed himself somewhere else. He changed his mind, backed out of his commitment, and went to his #1. No one hated him. He didn't burn bridges. He made the choice that was right for HIM. And that's pretty respectable.

Sorry, but I think people are giving you bad advice if they're not telling you to listen to your heart. A school may scoff at you when you rescind your admission invite, but you might regret not taking this new offer for a long time.

 

[Eivuwan]

I wish someone had given me this advice when I was in a bind: When your making a choice that is ultimately going to hurt someone else (or, in your case, another program), make the decision that makes YOU happy. If Loyola is going to make you happy, go.

You are not the first and will not be the last person to change your mind after the deadline. Mark, a guy who used to post on here (still does?) got an offer from his #1 program after he had committed himself somewhere else. He changed his mind, backed out of his commitment, and went to his #1. No one hated him. He didn't burn bridges. He made the choice that was right for HIM. And that's pretty respectable.

Sorry, but I think people are giving you bad advice if they're not telling you to listen to your heart. A school may scoff at you when you rescind your admission invite, but you might regret not taking this new offer for a long time.

Except the OP stated that she's happy with Xavier. In that case the potential consequences may not be worth it.

Edit: Also, while some schools are more forgiving of people who go back on an acceptance commitment, other schools may not be. Anecdotes are not very helpful.

Edit: Changed "backlash" to "consequences."

 

[AcronymAllergy]

Except the OP stated that she's happy with Xavier. In that case the potential backlash may not be worth it.

Edit: Also, while some schools are more forgiving of people who go back on an acceptance commitment, other schools may not be. Anecdotes are not very helpful.

I think this is perhaps the key point here. Any potential ethical issues aside, I haven't seen much in the way of the OP's posts that would indicate one program represents a significant improvement over the other, just that one was (for whatever reason) "pre-ranked" slightly ahead of the other.

If the #1 choice represented a huge leap ahead of the current program, I'd say definitely consider switching. But if it's a near-complete wash between the two offers, then staying put might be the best option.

After all, to switch things around a bit, who's to say the OP wouldn't end up being unhappy at Loyola and wishing, or wondering what could've been if, he/she had instead chosen to remain in the program that had originally accepted him/her?

 

[KY0914]

I just want to say thank you to all of you guys. Both perspectives are much appreciated and I will be taking both into consideration. Initially, when I made the choice to accept Xavier's offer, someone asked me what I would do if Loyola were to take me off their waitlist and without a doubt I told them that I would stick with Xavier. I had rationalized why it was a good choice and why I was OK with not getting an offer from Loyola. However, when you actually wind up in that situation, it is quite a different story. It's actually quite an overwhelming, anxiety provoking feeling. Thanks again.. I am really glad that I decided to post on here!