I hear ya! I am definitely not there yet, lol. So far though, the first year was the most stressful. In addition to all the normal infant issues, I had a real problem with something inside me making me wake up many times during the night to check and make sure he was still breathing. I was so worried about that.
VERY common for first time parents. It's amazing how I look back and everything looks like it was so easy in retrospect
😉 I have friends with little ones these days and they run around all stressed out and I don't even flinch when the kids start freaking out-it's great! Part of that is experience, I'm sure, but part of it is just the calmness that comes as we get older, I believe.
Enjoy what free time you get with the kids now and once they get into K-2 grades or so, make sure you take time to make a few special memories with them, especially if you're on the med path and have the expected time crunch that comes with it. Give them a few shining moments to cherish because they're only going to remember the big stuff in the long run and they'll grow into young adulthood knowing they were loved and cared for, not matter how busy you feel and how much you think you are ignoring them during the busy moments.
Some more young parent advice I wish I had learned earlier:
Don't get them used to sleeping in silence, you'll just be miserable trying to avoid waking them during nap time. We used to literally vacuum around our kids when they were sleeping without waking them because we refused to shut down all noise just because they were napping. You'll thank me for that advice when you want to stay up to spend time with your SO.
Don't use pure baby talk all the time once they're about 9 months old. Talk to them like they're a tiny adult and they'll develop their language skills SO much faster.
Don't be afraid of kid's TV shows, but don't overly rely on them, either. It seems like way too often parents go to one extreme or the other here. There's absolutely nothing wrong with using the TV as an electronic babysitter when you need to do some chores or get some work done (and, honestly, kids can learn quite a lot from the shows), but make sure you take some time to interact with them too. Even if you're just sitting down watching Yo Gabba Gabba with your kid on your lap and singing along like a fool to Dora's backpack song, your kid is going to be better off for the time spent with them.
Once the kids get to about 8 years old the single best piece of advice I can offer is this: turn off the radio occasionally. By that I mean the car radio. Turn it off (or at least way down) and just talk with your kids. Talk about school, their friends, their enemies, their favorite teachers, what they watched on TV last night, what games they're playing on their cell phone, what funny videos they saw on YouTube, what bands they love, etc, etc, etc. Don't let them get away with one word answers, either (though if you start this early enough, they won't even try as they grow). Being in the car offers two advantages here: 1) they can't escape the conversation! B) the seating arrangement ensures that they won't be forced to make eye contact with you which can make it easier to talk about more sensitive subjects than if you are sitting across a table from them. I've gotten my kids so used to this that THEY turn down the radio now so we can talk-anytime you can get a 14 or 16 year old to voluntarily turn off music to speak with their parent, I think you've done something right.
Here's one that is going to seem a bit counter-intuitive but has done wonders for my life and children. When it comes to discipline, make a big deal of the small stuff and a little deal of the big stuff (at least the first time or two). Because here's the deal: the little stuff is what they're going to try to get away with all the time and is going to go to developing what kind of person they are. Be firm, lock that **** down hard and they'll be good people on the day to day basis. The big stuff is going to be one-off mistakes. You catch your kid drinking out of your liquor cabinet? Sit them down, explain the dangers of it (both physical and legal and for their future when it comes to things like college), tell them if they really want to try it they can do it supervised with you so you know they're safe and then let it go. If you've done a good job up to this point, it will fall into place. If it doesn't and they keep screwing up, THEN it's time to get harsh.
And, wow, a lot more than I intended to type here. Yeay for getting off on a tangent.
