Anxiety as a barrier?

[snfuse]

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Hi so I tried posting something earlier and it looks like it didn't go through so I'll try again. I've had issues with social anxiety and depression as a first year and I believe it has negatively impacted my social reputation. People give me dirty looks, gossip about me less then a yard away, and ignore me when I say hi. As a result, my social anxiety has worsened and even though I've recuperated to some extent with therapy I still have a problem saying hi to people for fear that they'll either ignore me/ give me a nasty look. I'm really uncertain if I should continue on to M2 year. I know I'm socially awkward and usually that hasn't been an issue before, but it's to the point where people who I know are nice people don't like me and think the worst of me.
I'm worried how this will impact me in terms of getting recommendations later and just being able to focus on my studies. I've gotten by this year but next year with step 1 I want to be able to do my best. Should I take a year off and come back to it or should I just work on my social anxiety over the summer and continue with M2 year?
I know that not everyone in my class hates me, but people gossip so even students I haven't met or really talked to before snort when I pass or something of the sort. It's really demoralizing. I've tried to be strong and ignore the gossip but I'm really, incredibly shy so being treated as a bad person is very hurtful. I should also mention that I took off 2 years before coming to medical school (due to depression after my grandma passing) and that my dad is worried that if I take more time off that I won't come back.

 

[vcnfs]

Sorry to hear and I can sympathize to a degree. Have you tried vigorous exercise?

 

[punkedoutriffs]

I experienced social anxiety and depression in the past. There were times when I perceived myself as a pariah. It's quite hellish to live like that. The road to betterment requires time and effort on multiple fronts. But I do not think time off will help. You have to learn to function in the world, and that requires access to the world to do that. Maybe seeing a psychiatrist for pharmacological intervention can make give your efforts a boost, though I have no experience with that.

My recovery came from slowly shedding off the negative and afflictive thought patterns that perpetuated my anxiety. The most high-yield techniques I used were MINDFULNESS and MEDITATION, which served to disidentify myself from my thoughts and emotions, which in this case were the manacles that bound myself to my affliction. The result is a radical shift in how I perceive myself in relation to the world and to other people. Practically, I can now function much better and with little hindrance in social situations, and I've also gained a good amount of peace of mind and private happiness. However, this took TIME and CONSISTENT, though gentle (read: not coercive and self-flagellating) EFFORT. The good news is that any ground gained on this journey is yours forever. It's not like building muscles which atrophy with disuse. You'll know how to handle other stresses and troubles peripheral to social ones because you'll have gotten a handle on how you manage your consciousness. PM me if you'd like some more information.

 

[NeuroLAX]

Seeing a trained psychologist for exposure therapy is pretty effective for social anxiety. I recommend researching its effectiveness to understand what it entails and see if it's something you're interested in pursuing. If you're interested, Google search for anxiety treatment centers around your area. I hear about progress and success stories on a daily basis.

 

[valkener]

Yes see a psychiatrist. Anxieties are amongst the most treatable conditions (through systematic desensitization, flooding, etc.) and a good therapist will work this out with you. I can tell you that 80% of your stress is self-inflicted and exaggerated but I know how it feels.

Many physicians struggle with such issues, even chronic illnesses, and learn to cope. Just do your best and keep calm.

 

[Hawaiianhost1]

As everyone above has mentioned - it would be best to get some therapy.

I can relate to your situation. I never realized just how shy I was until I entered my first year of med school. Prior to M1, I never had trouble making friends. I was very content with my group of high school and college buddies. There's something about the med school environment that makes it hard to get close to people. Either you make a ton of friends in med school or you don't. It's even worse because med school is filled with cliques, which can make you feel lonely if you don't belong to one. I have a couple of people in the class who I hang out with but I can't seem to get close to them like my real friends outside of med school. It bothered me for a little while but I realized that it's not worth stressing over. I was lucky because I have a boyfriend, close family, and good friends outside of med school who I could talk to and get support from. If you are close to your family, I suggest talking to them frequently to help yourself feel better.

My advice to you is this: go to therapy, continue to study hard, and don't take a break from med school just because of your social anxiety. So there are people in the class who gossip about you - f**k them!! It's their loss that they don't want to be friends with you. Sure, making friends in med school is important for support and whatnot...but don't stress over it. After four years everyone goes their separate ways anyway. Just be civil and friendly to your classmates and you shouldn't have any problems.

 

[snfuse]

Thanks everyone for the feedback! I really appreciate it. I started seeing a therapist last month which was helpful. Before, I'd gotten by with exercise and avoiding caffeine like the plague (of course this was after a crash course reminder as to the side-effects of caffeine ~_~). I'm kind of hesitant about seeing a psychiatrist, primarily because of the side effects of medication and the dependence that it can induce. Obviously, I'm not really in a position to be anti-medications or anything of the sort so I'll keep an open mind about it.

Mindfulness and meditation sounds like a good idea. A lot of anxiety is about negative self-speak so it looks like something that would be beneficial if I kept up with it, which will take effort but I think a little bit of effort now is preferable to panic attacks and crying fits later. Medical school really is kind of a whammy. I have soo much respect for currently practicing physicians and the students who've toughed out each year and have gone back for more. That takes a tremendous amount of strength (and maybe a bit of masochism too?).

Also, Hawaiinhost1 your comments on medical school life totally resonate. I had a conversation about this with someone I knew from undergrad who goes to a nearby medical school and she said almost exactly the same thing about the quality of relationships in medical school. It's a strange phenomenon since, for the most part, we're all kind and caring people it seems strange that there's still this barrier.

So thanks for the encouragement! I'll try to keep going. 🙂

 

[jerseytrash]

So there are people in the class who gossip about you - f**k them!! It's their loss that they don't want to be friends with you. Sure, making friends in med school is important for support and whatnot...but don't stress over it. After four years everyone goes their separate ways anyway.

Well said.

OP I will say that it gets better usually as you go further on through medical school. In M3 you'll start working with students you may not otherwise have done so with b/c of who you're assigned to work with on rotations, and it throws a wrench into the whole clique business. There's a famous saying that med school is like high school all over again - and to some extent I think it's true. I myself had some issues with how my classmates perceived me and it wasn't until the start of M2 that I realized I simply don't care what they think about me - just be nice to others regardless and ultimately it'll work out for you.

I'm not 100% sure why it happens, but part of it has to do with a smaller class size than college (and therefore closer proximity to others), a lot of type A personalities, a lot of perceived competition (whether or not it actually exists), and that a lot of people are just uncomfortable with the fact that they may no longer be the best at what they do or the best in their class anymore.

EDIT: Also be aware that people often try to play up other people's inadequacies in order to hide their own insecurities. If someone is gossiping about you or talking crap about you, they've got plenty of skeletons in their closet that they're just afraid of dealing with.

Anyway, best of luck, OP. Don't let others get you down!

 

[chemsmith]

even if you don't have time to commit to regular therapy, SSRI's can be incredibly effective for anxiety if given time

 

[JP2740]

Hi so I tried posting something earlier and it looks like it didn't go through so I'll try again. I've had issues with social anxiety and depression as a first year and I believe it has negatively impacted my social reputation. People give me dirty looks, gossip about me less then a yard away, and ignore me when I say hi. As a result, my social anxiety has worsened and even though I've recuperated to some extent with therapy I still have a problem saying hi to people for fear that they'll either ignore me/ give me a nasty look. I'm really uncertain if I should continue on to M2 year. I know I'm socially awkward and usually that hasn't been an issue before, but it's to the point where people who I know are nice people don't like me and think the worst of me.
I'm worried how this will impact me in terms of getting recommendations later and just being able to focus on my studies. I've gotten by this year but next year with step 1 I want to be able to do my best. Should I take a year off and come back to it or should I just work on my social anxiety over the summer and continue with M2 year?
I know that not everyone in my class hates me, but people gossip so even students I haven't met or really talked to before snort when I pass or something of the sort. It's really demoralizing. I've tried to be strong and ignore the gossip but I'm really, incredibly shy so being treated as a bad person is very hurtful. I should also mention that I took off 2 years before coming to medical school (due to depression after my grandma passing) and that my dad is worried that if I take more time off that I won't come back.

I'm pretty sure people gossip about me in the class too. I have a lot of non-med school friends so I really don't give a **** about anyone in the class except for a few cool dudes. It doesn't really affect me personally. Listen, the less you care about how others perceive you, the happier you'll be no matter what else is wrong with your life. Do things the way you want to do it. Focus on improving yourself. What do you want? Do you want to lose weight? Get in the gym (actually do this no matter how you look, everyday). Do you want to socialize more but feel like you don't have time to study? **** it then, focus on your studying. Take care of your academics. Get to where you want to be. Watch the shows you want to watch. Don't talk to people you don't want to. Don't worry about satisfying this person or that or worry about if people are "snorting" around you (they might not be actually).

The more you improve yourself (in the way you see fit), your confidence in yourself, and be happy with your own body and personality everything else will fall into place including friends/relationships, etc. (I promise). Work on not just your social anxiety but everything you want to improve period. I wouldn't take time off for this either. You're going to be fine. Try your best to care less and less about what people think. Who gives a **** if someone snorts when they walk by? Don't call it demoralizing. Who are they anyway? Just another med student, not the ****ing president. They aren't better than you, even if they're more popular, better looking, or w/e. Honestly don't put these people on a pedestal. When my little nephew says i'm a poopy head I don't get mad, because who is this little ****? I'll fight him and win any day of the week amiright? We only care what people think when our preconceived feelings about these people factor into it. There's no reason why they're "hurtful" opinions need to strike home. Get your butt in the gym regardless. You're the star of your life. Come in for a big hug.

 

[fneverforget]

SSRI? They treat anxiety, depression, social anxiety, ocd, bulimia, etc. It can help you finish up your critical medical school years without anxiety/depression. Trust me you don't want to look back on your time in medical school and wonder how much you could have achieved had you gotten proper treatment for anxiety. Anxiety can affect how well you perform in medical school which in turn can affect how "good" of a doctor you will be. I would feel so guilty if a future patient suffered because I wasn't able to study that hard during medical school because of anxiety. Since physicians are responsible for the lives/well being of other innocent people, they need to make sure that they are performing on a high level, which means taking care of their mind and body.

Get help, if that means SSRI, psychotherapy, or a combination of the two, so be it.

 

[fneverforget]

SSRI? They treat anxiety, depression, social anxiety, ocd, bulimia, etc. It can help you finish up your critical medical school years without anxiety/depression. Trust me you don't want to look back on your time in medical school and wonder how much you could have achieved had you gotten proper treatment for anxiety. Anxiety can affect how well you perform in medical school which in turn can affect how "good" of a doctor you will be. I would feel so guilty if a future patient suffered because I wasn't able to study that hard during medical school because of anxiety. Since physicians are responsible for the lives/well being of other innocent people, they need to make sure that they are performing on a high level, which means taking care of their mind and body. You owe that much to your future patients.

Get help, if that means SSRI, psychotherapy, or a combination of the two, so be it.