Any non-trads over 30 frustrated with the age gap?

[Mcar11]

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Get ready...long random Sunday rant. Am I the only one having a hard time reconciling with some of the personality differences that come with with being non-traditional student?

At 37, it is has been quite the struggle being 15 yrs older than the average M1 for a variety of reasons...

1)The immaturity can be frustrating... Sometimes I walk into lecture/ lab and I feel like I’m walking into a freshman undergraduate class. Kids can be so whiny and needy and just rude and loud, and entitled, and obnoxious, lol. I try to be understanding (given I was also 22/23 once) but man, sometimes it’s really hard to take. Ugh, I see them making fun of other kids, disrespecting cadavers, and if I hear “low key” one more time I will scream!

2) The administration: stop talking to me like I am a child!!!! I get it, most of the students need that kind of guidance and structure, but know your audience.

3) Its isolating—ish. On one hand, no, I really don’t have a huge desire to socialize with people that much younger than I am. Even among the nicest of students, there’s only so much we can have in common and for me, I look at school as a job. However, it is frustrating when everyone studies together, drinks together, lunches together, works out together...Now the irony is, I have a husband at home, friends of my own and I would go insane spending that kind of time around the same people after a full day of work (now school). BUT, I have to admit, it is hard not having anyone to laugh with or commiserate with. And if you forgot (as I did), kids are super cliquey!

That’s all. Sometimes it’s just a bit frustrating and a bit demotivating.

 

[RNthenDoc]

I feel this thread.

 

[deleted480308]

I have to disagree. Let the young folk be young. Just live your different life and let them live theirs

Talk crap about life at lunch or on twitter or whatever people counicate with today but go home to your family and enjoy them

 

[Mcar11]

I have to disagree. Let the young folk be young. Just live your different life and let them live theirs

Talk crap about life at lunch or on twitter or whatever people counicate with today but go home to your family and enjoy them

I don’t disagree with you one bit, and most of the time I do...it’s just frustrating and a little lonely at times. Even with my eyes on the prize, so to speak, I find myself missing the social aspect of work. I mean it wasn’t a daily happy hour, but I did have people to talk to when I wanted to.

 

[Jasmine2022]

I haven't matriculated yet, but I struggle with bullet point #2 in multiple situations so I expect it to be an issue I'll have to deal with in medical school. In my case, I realize that a part of this issue revolves around a bit of arrogance and lack of patience, so I'm making an effort to change my perspective.

I look quite a bit younger than I actually am, so I'm toying with the idea of not revealing my actual age to fellow students once I do matriculate, mainly as an experiment to see if I am more welcomed/accepted amongst my younger peers. Previously I have been very open in sharing my age, but there is a disconnect and somehow I always fall into the "mom" role, which I'd prefer to avoid.

So I guess my point is that I relate to where you are coming from, and I'm glad you posted because

 

[Lucky Day]

I have to disagree. Let the young folk be young. Just live your different life and let them live theirs

Talk crap about life at lunch or on twitter or whatever people counicate with today but go home to your family and enjoy them

Preach.

But seriously, OP. I don't know your situation, but I guarantee there are mature folks in that crowd you can find if you really tried. I'm 33 and I have really good friends from returning to school that span a HUGE age range. One of my best pre-med buddies is 22. If you don't want to be judged by your age (which I sure as hell do not), don't judge others.

I don’t disagree with you one bit, and most of the time I do...it’s just frustrating and a little lonely at times. Even with my eyes on the prize, so to speak, I find myself missing the social aspect of work. I mean it wasn’t a daily happy hour, but I did have people to talk to when I wanted to.

The meat behind this statement basically solves your problem. Find the more mature folks and start a project in something you're passionate about with them. Absolutely, hands down, without a doubt, this is the best way to spark a relationship. Do this and the prominence of your pet peeve will slowly melt away.

 

[Deleted member 750603]

Get ready...long random Sunday rant. Am I the only one having a hard time reconciling with some of the personality differences that come with with being non-traditional student?

At 37, it is has been quite the struggle being 15 yrs older than the average M1 for a variety of reasons...

1)The immaturity can be frustrating... Sometimes I walk into lecture/ lab and I feel like I’m walking into a freshman undergraduate class. Kids can be so whiny and needy and just rude and loud, and entitled, and obnoxious, lol. I try to be understanding (given I was also 22/23 once) but man, sometimes it’s really hard to take. Ugh, I see them making fun of other kids, disrespecting cadavers, and if I hear “low key” one more time I will scream!

2) The administration: stop talking to me like I am a child!!!! I get it, most of the students need that kind of guidance and structure, but know your audience.

3) Its isolating—ish. On one hand, no, I really don’t have a huge desire to socialize with people that much younger than I am. Even among the nicest of students, there’s only so much we can have in common and for me, I look at school as a job. However, it is frustrating when everyone studies together, drinks together, lunches together, works out together...Now the irony is, I have a husband at home, friends of my own and I would go insane spending that kind of time around the same people after a full day of work (now school). BUT, I have to admit, it is hard not having anyone to laugh with or commiserate with. And if you forgot (as I did), kids are super cliquey!

That’s all. Sometimes it’s just a bit frustrating and a bit demotivating.

How much access do you have to residents or physicians? Try and make friends with them, but I think there is no getting around it this is just the frustration of being older. Do you have a mentor at your school. Talk to the mentor he/she may suggest some clubs or activities that exist that you may not be aware of.

I think you'd fit in with the residents. The arrogance has for the most part been beaten out of them.

Whatever you do don't isolate yourself.

 

[soysizle]

I don’t know you op so I don’t know your circumstances for attending medical school as a non-trad but you just have to realize whether you like it or not the avg age for entering classes is like 24-25, you’re in their world.

 

[n00041393]

As a 50-year old MS1, I totally understand the feelings of isolation. It is hard to be good friends with people half your age, the generation gap cannot be ignored. We have different social priorities, etc. However, I don't experience the same frustration with my fellow student's immaturity, I recognize that they are in their early 20s and aren't fully mature yet. They are acting their age and that is entirely appropriate. In fact, I'm actually impressed with most of them, they are very hardworking, kind and considerate (for the most part, like most classes we have a few a-holes and insufferable gunners).

I don't usually reveal my age (I look young for my age but it's obvious I'm past my 20s). I don't like to focus on what makes us different, but what we have in common (the daily struggle to survive medical school).

If you have that much resentment toward your fellow students, maybe you should look a little deeper inside yourself for the problem.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J727A using Tapatalk

 

[Mcar11]

As a 50-year old MS1, I totally understand the feelings of isolation. It is hard to be good friends with people half your age, the generation gap cannot be ignored. We have different social priorities, etc. However, I don't experience the same frustration with my fellow student's immaturity, I recognize that they are in their early 20s and aren't fully mature yet. They are acting their age and that is entirely appropriate. In fact, I'm actually impressed with most of them, they are very hardworking, kind and considerate (for the most part, like most classes we have a few a-holes and insufferable gunners).

I don't usually reveal my age (I look young for my age but it's obvious I'm past my 20s). I don't like to focus on what makes us different, but what we have in common (the daily struggle to survive medical school).

If you have that much resentment toward your fellow students, maybe you should look a little deeper inside yourself for the problem.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J727A using Tapatalk

Ha! Well, understood and that last part seems a bit on the harsh side (?) but I’ll take the advice none the less. Also, I honestly have say, 50 and MS1 is pretty damned awesome, so kudos.

Perhaps it really is just a matter to finding more like minded people regardless off age, and admittedly, I have briefly met a few.

 

[feeling-dizzy]

haha, wait until 3rd year and hear the 26 y.o. interns boss you around. That would be fun

 

[Skiiiiiing]

Get ready...long random Sunday rant. Am I the only one having a hard time reconciling with some of the personality differences that come with with being non-traditional student?

At 37, it is has been quite the struggle being 15 yrs older than the average M1 for a variety of reasons...

1)The immaturity can be frustrating... Sometimes I walk into lecture/ lab and I feel like I’m walking into a freshman undergraduate class. Kids can be so whiny and needy and just rude and loud, and entitled, and obnoxious, lol. I try to be understanding (given I was also 22/23 once) but man, sometimes it’s really hard to take. Ugh, I see them making fun of other kids, disrespecting cadavers, and if I hear “low key” one more time I will scream!

2) The administration: stop talking to me like I am a child!!!! I get it, most of the students need that kind of guidance and structure, but know your audience.

3) Its isolating—ish. On one hand, no, I really don’t have a huge desire to socialize with people that much younger than I am. Even among the nicest of students, there’s only so much we can have in common and for me, I look at school as a job. However, it is frustrating when everyone studies together, drinks together, lunches together, works out together...Now the irony is, I have a husband at home, friends of my own and I would go insane spending that kind of time around the same people after a full day of work (now school). BUT, I have to admit, it is hard not having anyone to laugh with or commiserate with. And if you forgot (as I did), kids are super cliquey!

That’s all. Sometimes it’s just a bit frustrating and a bit demotivating.

You didn't get this in the postbac?

It's a lonesome road...but then again so would starting over in another path at midlife.

 

[Skiiiiiing]

As a 50-year old MS1, I totally understand the feelings of isolation. It is hard to be good friends with people half your age, the generation gap cannot be ignored. We have different social priorities, etc. However, I don't experience the same frustration with my fellow student's immaturity, I recognize that they are in their early 20s and aren't fully mature yet. They are acting their age and that is entirely appropriate. In fact, I'm actually impressed with most of them, they are very hardworking, kind and considerate (for the most part, like most classes we have a few a-holes and insufferable gunners).

I don't usually reveal my age (I look young for my age but it's obvious I'm past my 20s). I don't like to focus on what makes us different, but what we have in common (the daily struggle to survive medical school).

If you have that much resentment toward your fellow students, maybe you should look a little deeper inside yourself for the problem.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J727A using Tapatalk

Some of the antics, rudeness catch you off guard. Admittedly it gets better the further you go along..labs with true freshman were slightly awkward.

 

[naway]

Man, I was really hoping this kind of thing would end with my post-bacc classes. I felt SO lonely sometimes taking classes with 19-year-olds I didn't share much in common with. I'm a good bit younger than you but still old enough that 22-year-olds and I are just inherently in super different places in life, but maybe it will be a bit easier since the age gap will be less for me. Maybe since I'm going to a DO school, there will be more non-trads than average too. I don't have a SO and will be moving quite a bit away from home, so I won't have people to go home to who I knew before I started school. I hope I can make friends.

 

[GypsyHummus]

If you think this is bad now, imagine if you went the PA route instead and had a 30 year old fresh out of residency MD bossing you around, telling you what scripts to write. Once you make it out on the other side, you will be a fully independent doctor.

That’s why I urge people even if they are older, go MD/DO/DDS/DPM over PA/NP. It’s grueling 7-10 years after college, but at least you can practice medicine autonomously after.

Remember, the brain doesn’t fully mature until age 25. I think Med schools should accept people age 25+ with at least 2 years of full time work experience. Real world work matured people pretty quick. I was nowhere near ready to be a medical student at age 22.

 

[Mcar11]

Completely agree with the 25 + starting age. I always thought med school should be treated like an MBA program—most folks don’t generally start right of undergrad and have a decent amount of work experience if not managerial.

And I certainly don’t mean to imply that there aren’t some terrific, highly intelligent, kids in these medical schools...these people got there for a reason and clearly, are more driven than I was at that age lol.

 

[Mcar11]

Man, I was really hoping this kind of thing would end with my post-bacc classes. I felt SO lonely sometimes taking classes with 19-year-olds I didn't share much in common with. I'm a good bit younger than you but still old enough that 22-year-olds and I are just inherently in super different places in life, but maybe it will be a bit easier since the age gap will be less for me. Maybe since I'm going to a DO school, there will be more non-trads than average too. I don't have a SO and will be moving quite a bit away from home, so I won't have people to go home to who I knew before I started school. I hope I can make friends.

Ugh...That is rough and I do feel lucky to be in the same city with family and friends.

I would highly suggest that you try the meetup website and join some groups. When you aren’t buried in school work, there are a lot of really fun events to attend—some networking, some are dating, some are just meeting new friends in things like “people who like to knit.” They seem to have a presence in most cities and cater mostly to city transplants.

 

[ScubaD]

I feel the age gap! (and the need to vent) but I think I use a decent work around. I usually study with the younger students in my classes a bit for comraderie. It also benefits me because they occasionally have more efficient or effective study methods. I still do the bulk of my studying alone and move on socially. I have a few other interests outside of school so when I want age-leveled social interaction I look to those interests. That would be my advice. Don't ostracize yourself. Let them be young and if you're interested in doing so, let your life experiences be a bridge. I have some classmates reach out to me for advice just because they found out my age. They know that means I have lived through things that they are just now starting to face. I don't force myself on them but I always welcome their questions and if I can help, I do. You're still sharing the same educational experiences so you have commonality there but it "low-key" doesnt mean you have to be BFFs with them.

 

[DSM_302.0]

I'm 32 and enrolling in the fall, so I can't empathize just yet, but this is a concern of mine too. Just sending a hug and wishing you well.

My thoughts are that while you might not naturally fall into the cliques that are forming, you can likely intentionally create small groups of folks you like to hang out with, especially the more mature, interesting, or smart ones of the bunch. You could cook them dinner (omg they have no idea how to make anything but ramen) or create a study group in your home, something like that?

 

[Skiiiiiing]

I'm 32 and enrolling in the fall, so I can't empathize just yet, but this is a concern of mine too. Just sending a hug and wishing you well.

My thoughts are that while you might not naturally fall into the cliques that are forming, you can likely intentionally create small groups of folks you like to hang out with, especially the more mature, interesting, or smart ones of the bunch. You could cook them dinner (omg they have no idea how to make anything but ramen) or create a study group in your home, something like that?

In the postbac, maybe 1/6 had the maturity to hold a conversation with someone older than them.

Mostly I expect actually med school won't be much better, but far fewer "antics" from med students than from 17 year olds in their first college class.

While I'd like to make friends during med school, ultimately the goal is to become a physician.