Anyone else with serious doubts?

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matt1989

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Hey sdn, I was slightly active on this site until last November when I was fortunately accepted to PCOM. Thank you all for helping me out. Initially I have to admit I felt excited but the feeling was also mixed with anxiety and stress. I've had a rough last few months and I have to say I've been doubting myself day and night. With the new year I actually promised myself I would not enroll and move on to something different but then my parents told me I should just "play it by ear" and "feel it out" before making a decision. I have until April 30th to make the second $1500 deposit so that is basically my deadline. This whole decision has really taken a toll on me and the fact that I feel a little depressed right now is in itself adding to my doubts. The scariest aspect though is definitely the financial aspect. I'm honestly afraid that I won't make it past med school and I'll end up in over 200k of debt and without a job. I'm really not sure what else I would do with my life. Honestly right now I feel drawn to med school again, hence me posting here, but I can't help that the fact I'm having such doubts now is not a good sign. It's just such a big decision!
 
It's just school. Nothing to get depressed over. If you are having this sort of emotional reaction and you haven't even started yet, see someone professionally. The last thing you'll want is a breakdown due to the stresses of school.
 
Every med student is acutely aware of the financial commitment, but you can't let it paralyze you. Use it as motivation. Actually it's best not to think about money. Just think about the next exam, pass it, and then think about the next one, rinse and repeat. Before you know it, you've passed boards.

Having said that, if you still are not sure if this is what you want to do, don't do it.
 
I think we have all had doubts at one point or another. A recent pt of mine was left in a vegetative state after a surgery complication from a routine surgery and I was the one taking care of him. Did it scare me that I realized one day I will have the same autonomy as that anesthesiologist and have the chance to make the same mistake? Absolutely, it terrified me. despite this, there is just some intrinsic factor that makes me know that medicine is what I want to do though.


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All new endeavors can be fraught with anxiety. What you're feeling is normal. You'll be fine. In the mean time, stay busy.

Hey sdn, I was slightly active on this site until last November when I was fortunately accepted to PCOM. Thank you all for helping me out. Initially I have to admit I felt excited but the feeling was also mixed with anxiety and stress. I've had a rough last few months and I have to say I've been doubting myself day and night. With the new year I actually promised myself I would not enroll and move on to something different but then my parents told me I should just "play it by ear" and "feel it out" before making a decision. I have until April 30th to make the second $1500 deposit so that is basically my deadline. This whole decision has really taken a toll on me and the fact that I feel a little depressed right now is in itself adding to my doubts. The scariest aspect though is definitely the financial aspect. I'm honestly afraid that I won't make it past med school and I'll end up in over 200k of debt and without a job. I'm really not sure what else I would do with my life. Honestly right now I feel drawn to med school again, hence me posting here, but I can't help that the fact I'm having such doubts now is not a good sign. It's just such a big decision!
 
Every med student is acutely aware of the financial commitment, but you can't let it paralyze you. Use it as motivation. Actually it's best not to think about money. Just think about the next exam, pass it, and then think about the next one, rinse and repeat. Before you know it, you've passed boards.

Having said that, if you still are not sure if this is what you want to do, don't do it.
Really good advice. It's important to look at the big picture, but when you're in med school just take it day by day, exam by exam. Adcom wouldn't have admitted you if they didn't think you have what it takes.

Do you have a back up plan if you don't want to pursue medicine?
 
Ive been switching between anxiety to elation. Depression and excitement.
 
I am sure you are not alone. I agree with these responses. You are undergoing a huge change in identity anxiety and doubt are all a part of it. I have been going through a similar cycle between excitement, worry, doubt and commitment. In the end there is no question I will be attending but the waiting is what is hard.

I suggest taking some time to really think about what you want. Stay away from SDN, it is a great place but it is also a place of wild speculation and overreaction. It will not help to read threads that derail your goals. Do your own research.

Is medical school hard? Of course. Is it impossible? No. The attrition rate from US schools is very low. Take this time to assess your weaknesses and address anything tht might give you trouble. Is anatomy a worry - then study it, physiology - then study that. Do something proactive that will ease your stress not enhance it.

This next step will take courage but so will the rest of your life. Be brave and it will all work out.
 
I had some doubts and freak outs around this same time last year. Once school started it went away completely. I love school and what I'm learning. I love being challenged daily to do more and do better. The money is daunting but I hate debt more than I like 'things' So I don't worry about it because I know I'll pay it off quickly. Good luck in your decision making and as was said before, seeking help (like a counselor) is a great idea.
 
This is normal. You'll invariably question why you're doing this when you start, when you're studying for boards, when your first patient dies, when you transition from an intern to an upper level to an attending. But if it's what you want to do everything will work out. You got into medical school so you're capable of finishing. You'll pay off your debt. It may take a while but it is with certainty that it can be paid off.

Gaining admission is life altering and this you'll experience doubt. Trust your gut. Muscle on. You can do it.
 
Hey sdn, I was slightly active on this site until last November when I was fortunately accepted to PCOM. Thank you all for helping me out. Initially I have to admit I felt excited but the feeling was also mixed with anxiety and stress. I've had a rough last few months and I have to say I've been doubting myself day and night. With the new year I actually promised myself I would not enroll and move on to something different but then my parents told me I should just "play it by ear" and "feel it out" before making a decision. I have until April 30th to make the second $1500 deposit so that is basically my deadline. This whole decision has really taken a toll on me and the fact that I feel a little depressed right now is in itself adding to my doubts. The scariest aspect though is definitely the financial aspect. I'm honestly afraid that I won't make it past med school and I'll end up in over 200k of debt and without a job. I'm really not sure what else I would do with my life. Honestly right now I feel drawn to med school again, hence me posting here, but I can't help that the fact I'm having such doubts now is not a good sign. It's just such a big decision!

If you have any doubt/uncertainty/etc. then withdraw, bro. Give the opportunity to someone who is sure about him/herself. Dude, in medical school you will be eaten alive with the attitude you have. You have never felt pressure, you have never felt anxiety until you are bent over and served the workload of medical school. Take some time off before you commit yourself, save yourself $1500 dollars and give someone else a chance to pursue his/her real dream instead of a seat being wasted on someone who's unsure about himself.
 
If you have any doubt/uncertainty/etc. then withdraw, bro. Give the opportunity to someone who is sure about him/herself. Dude, in medical school you will be eaten alive with the attitude you have. You have never felt pressure, you have never felt anxiety until you are bent over and served the workload of medical school. Take some time off before you commit yourself, save yourself $1500 dollars and give someone else a chance to pursue his/her real dream instead of a seat being wasted on someone who's unsure about himself.

Because all matriculated students are super confident with no traces of doubts about their success right? At least this person is down-to-earth and is self-aware of their faults and its not like those douchey med students who just reek of overdone egos who fail to ever connect with patients.

Secondly, you say for the person to give up the seat to someone with real dreams? Why would anxiety be related to real dreams? His dreams are as real as all of ours, regardless of his levels of anxiety. Majority of those who were not committed to medicine as a "real dream", were filtered out long before acceptances.

You speak without thinking.
 
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Because all matriculated students are super confident with no traces of doubts about their success right? At least this person is down-to-earth and is self-aware of their faults and its not like those douchey med students who just reek of overdone egos who fail to ever connect with patients.

Doubt has its place once medical school begins, not before. What I'm saying is there is an applicant who is confident as all get out, ready to move his life forward and start working towards his dream, just waiting for a school to give him a chance WHILE someone else holding an acceptance timidly wonders whether he really wants to be a doctor. There are people who only get to dream about being accepted, and this guy matt1989 sits on an acceptance not knowing what to do with it.
 
There's a difference between doubting whether someone feels he or she should do it and doubting whether he or she could do it.

If you doubt whether or not you should do it, then I would take some time and figure that out. You shouldn't do it if you're so unsure if it's right for you.

I think most people have doubts at one point or another if they can do it.
 
If you have any doubt/uncertainty/etc. then withdraw, bro. Give the opportunity to someone who is sure about him/herself. Dude, in medical school you will be eaten alive with the attitude you have. You have never felt pressure, you have never felt anxiety until you are bent over and served the workload of medical school. Take some time off before you commit yourself, save yourself $1500 dollars and give someone else a chance to pursue his/her real dream instead of a seat being wasted on someone who's unsure about himself.
This is terrible advice. If you're this confident, you should be a practicing attending of 15 years. You will face doubt daily in various forms. It doesn't go away by being "hell-bent" on attending medical school. For such a life altering event, there is some doubt that should be present. Doubt and fear, the great motivators, get you through all of this because you bust your butt to prove yourself wrong.
 
This is terrible advice. If you're this confident, you should be a practicing attending of 15 years. You will face doubt daily in various forms. It doesn't go away by being "hell-bent" on attending medical school. For such a life altering event, there is some doubt that should be present. Doubt and fear, the great motivators, get you through all of this because you bust your butt to prove yourself wrong.
I agree. A little bit of doubt and fear is not only a great motivator, it also keeps you on your toes. Acting like you know it all can be dangerous and can only come back to bite you in the butt when you least expect it. There are plenty of complacent people who practice bad medicine and don't even know it because they are ignorant to the fact. That and no one likes a "know it all."
 
One of my professors gave my class this short story. Hope it helps!

"The Pencil Story"

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into
the box.


There are 5 things you need to know, he told the pencil, before I send
you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you
will become the best pencil you can be.


One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow
yourself to be held in someone's hand.


Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but
you'll need it to become a better pencil.


Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.


Four: The most important part of you will always be what's inside.


And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark.
No matter what the condition, you must continue to write.


The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box
with purpose in its heart.
 
This is terrible advice. If you're this confident, you should be a practicing attending of 15 years. You will face doubt daily in various forms. It doesn't go away by being "hell-bent" on attending medical school. For such a life altering event, there is some doubt that should be present. Doubt and fear, the great motivators, get you through all of this because you bust your butt to prove yourself wrong.

oh my god....All I'm saying is if there are 2 people:
1. Applicant with his **** together, ready for the challenge, confident, certain, and initiated.
2. Applicant without his **** together, not sure, doubtful, uncertain, and anxiety.
Why not give the seat to person #1? and person #2 wait a year to figure it out.
 
oh my god....All I'm saying is if there are 2 people:
1. Applicant with his **** together, ready for the challenge, confident, certain, and initiated.
2. Applicant without his **** together, not sure, doubtful, uncertain, and anxiety.
Why not give the seat to person #1? and person #2 wait a year to figure it out.

Because it's not that cut and dry. Nobody knows exactly what med school is going to be like for them until they are actually experiencing it. Maybe the person that was riddled with doubt and fear will find that med school was the best decision they've ever made, and maybe the person that was 'confident, certain, and initiated' will find that they would rather be in a cubicle.

OP, I've been torn over whether or not to go to med school for the past year and a half. I've finally come to the point where I feel like I'm making the right decision by starting DO school this summer. I feel like no other career will be able to offer the same level of respect, gratification, variety, financial security, flexibility, etc.. as a career as as physician. I also feel that, given the fact that I actually enjoyed studying for the MCAT, the endless series of hurdles (didactic grades, boards, landing a residency) will be a good outlet for my competitiveness.

Since your biggest fear is the financial aspect, below is a recent post I saw that helped put things into perspective for me...

(These are not my words. I don't have the poster's name, but someone might be able to recognize and attribute it to someone)




"""Here's my take (strictly financial)... and this is coming from a non-trad who's been out of school for nearly 7 years.

There are very few six figure jobs. I've had friends go to law school. I've had friends go to business school. I've had friends go to other professional schools. Very few of them are currently making six figures. The ones that are, are working in consulting or something of that sort, working long hours doing boring stuff, living the rat race every day. Personally, I spent two years at a huge corporation, standard 9-5 gig, but absolutely hated my life, so took the plunge and started my own business. I consider myself extremely fortunate and unique in that it worked out for me. Most just seem to be sucking it up and sticking it out making their 60-80k a year, to sit in a box, with the hopes of getting that big promotion.

Sure, you could go into business become a VP, CFO, etc. and make mega-bucks. But you know what? Any big corporation is filled with thousands of other people with MBA's, etc. all shooting for the same thing. And guess what? Not everyone is making it to the mega-buck level. Odds are you're going to be a regular, corporate clone your entire life, taking home your 2.5-5% yearly raise. Oh, and economy goes into the ****ter again? Forget about that raise. Things aren't going so hot at your company? Layoffs are coming. Want to actually have a shot to travel, and get away from the grind of your daily life? Better find a way to squeeze it into your 2 weeks a year.

The fact of the matter is, landing a six figure job just isn't that easy these days...let alone a 200, 250, 300k+ job. These are all easily obtainable (at least the 200-250) by going to medical school. In addition...the skills you're learning as a doctor are easily transferable to other parts of the world. Like to travel? Go work in a foreign country for a couple of years. Only want to work part time, but still clear 100k a year? Docs can do it...but do you think that fortune 500 or BigLaw firm is going to be cool with you only coming in 6 months a year? Until some of you guys have been in that dreadful corporate environment, you'll never know how miserable it truly is...I was completely oblivious as a grad until I saw firsthand how soul-crushing it really is.

For me, being a doctor means getting out of the rat race. It means financial security. It means job security. It means the ability to travel freely and live a more meaningful and interesting life.

But hey, if you want to go sit in a box for 40 years, slaving away, taking your 2 week vacations to grandma's house, making some rich dinguses even richer...more power to you.""""
 
Shibby, you're WAAAY too hard and fast on your stance. I would kill to have a PCOM invite, so I get a little of that "you don't want it, and I do, so move over and let me at it", but who here doesn't take a deep breath on thinking of a quarter mil in debt? I sure contemplated long and hard.

Life is a journey of growth and maturity. Good for the OP for asking questions and talking about some of the potential problems he feels he might have a handle to adjust now. Know that it's a long, tough road. But look at your life, big picture, and wonder who you want to be in 5, 10, 20 years, and if the difficulties and RISKS you are taking now, by whatever route you take, are the risks you can live with.

Don't do anything solely out of fear.
 
Shibby, you're WAAAY too hard and fast on your stance. I would kill to have a PCOM invite, so I get a little of that "you don't want it, and I do, so move over and let me at it", but who here doesn't take a deep breath on thinking of a quarter mil in debt? I sure contemplated long and hard.

Life is a journey of growth and maturity. Good for the OP for asking questions and talking about some of the potential problems he feels he might have a handle to adjust now. Know that it's a long, tough road. But look at your life, big picture, and wonder who you want to be in 5, 10, 20 years, and if the difficulties and RISKS you are taking now, by whatever route you take, are the risks you can live with.

Don't do anything solely out of fear.
Makes me doubt if he's actually a current medical school as his status indicates. 100% of the medical students and doctors I've talked to have had fears and doubts in one form or another either before, during, or after school. The ones who say they don't are doing so for their own self-assurances and egos, trying to make it seem as if they're somehow immune to human nature.
 
I have been experiencing the ebb and flow of "what the hell am I getting myself into?" since December. But I'm very excited to start and it was a long road to get here. I'm terrified of being $300,000 in debt, but from analyzing the budget twenty times and meeting with the financial aid guru at my school it seems that graduating with $260,000 is a more reasonable estimate. I come back down to earth every once in a while.

My new anxiety is wondering how in the world am I going to pass all these classes. You're not alone, OP.
 
oh my god....All I'm saying is if there are 2 people:
1. Applicant with his **** together, ready for the challenge, confident, certain, and initiated.
2. Applicant without his **** together, not sure, doubtful, uncertain, and anxiety.
Why not give the seat to person #1? and person #2 wait a year to figure it out.
Person 1 was admitted. He has what it takes. His self-doubt isn't pathologic. His acceptance is well earned.
 
I'm glad. I thought I was the only one having recurring thoughts. It's more about the debt but also the classes. The more I think to myself that the loans can be paid off by working free for one year ( putting 100% of salary towards loans) , the better I feel. It really will be okay. Lots of debt? Hell yea.. But it doesn't have to hang over our heads forever.
 
Because it's not that cut and dry. Nobody knows exactly what med school is going to be like for them until they are actually experiencing it. Maybe the person that was riddled with doubt and fear will find that med school was the best decision they've ever made, and maybe the person that was 'confident, certain, and initiated' will find that they would rather be in a cubicle.

OP, I've been torn over whether or not to go to med school for the past year and a half. I've finally come to the point where I feel like I'm making the right decision by starting DO school this summer. I feel like no other career will be able to offer the same level of respect, gratification, variety, financial security, flexibility, etc.. as a career as as physician. I also feel that, given the fact that I actually enjoyed studying for the MCAT, the endless series of hurdles (didactic grades, boards, landing a residency) will be a good outlet for my competitiveness.

Since your biggest fear is the financial aspect, below is a recent post I saw that helped put things into perspective for me...

(These are not my words. I don't have the poster's name, but someone might be able to recognize and attribute it to someone)




"""Here's my take (strictly financial)... and this is coming from a non-trad who's been out of school for nearly 7 years.

There are very few six figure jobs. I've had friends go to law school. I've had friends go to business school. I've had friends go to other professional schools. Very few of them are currently making six figures. The ones that are, are working in consulting or something of that sort, working long hours doing boring stuff, living the rat race every day. Personally, I spent two years at a huge corporation, standard 9-5 gig, but absolutely hated my life, so took the plunge and started my own business. I consider myself extremely fortunate and unique in that it worked out for me. Most just seem to be sucking it up and sticking it out making their 60-80k a year, to sit in a box, with the hopes of getting that big promotion.

Sure, you could go into business become a VP, CFO, etc. and make mega-bucks. But you know what? Any big corporation is filled with thousands of other people with MBA's, etc. all shooting for the same thing. And guess what? Not everyone is making it to the mega-buck level. Odds are you're going to be a regular, corporate clone your entire life, taking home your 2.5-5% yearly raise. Oh, and economy goes into the ****ter again? Forget about that raise. Things aren't going so hot at your company? Layoffs are coming. Want to actually have a shot to travel, and get away from the grind of your daily life? Better find a way to squeeze it into your 2 weeks a year.

The fact of the matter is, landing a six figure job just isn't that easy these days...let alone a 200, 250, 300k+ job. These are all easily obtainable (at least the 200-250) by going to medical school. In addition...the skills you're learning as a doctor are easily transferable to other parts of the world. Like to travel? Go work in a foreign country for a couple of years. Only want to work part time, but still clear 100k a year? Docs can do it...but do you think that fortune 500 or BigLaw firm is going to be cool with you only coming in 6 months a year? Until some of you guys have been in that dreadful corporate environment, you'll never know how miserable it truly is...I was completely oblivious as a grad until I saw firsthand how soul-crushing it really is.

For me, being a doctor means getting out of the rat race. It means financial security. It means job security. It means the ability to travel freely and live a more meaningful and interesting life.

But hey, if you want to go sit in a box for 40 years, slaving away, taking your 2 week vacations to grandma's house, making some rich dinguses even richer...more power to you.""""

The person you quoted is so correct... I have seen a lot threads especially in the pre-allo forum suggesting people to go to law school or business school instead of medicine as a way to make more money. But what they fail to realize is that for every one person who make it BIG in the business world, there are more than 100s who are doing ****ty job making 35k-70k/years for years... There is a reason that only 5% of the US workers make 100k/year... Getting six figure salary is NOT that easy....
 
The person you quoted is so correct... I have seen a lot threads especially in the pre-allo forum suggesting people to go to law school or business school instead of medicine as a way to make more money. But what they fail to realize is that for every one person who make it BIG in the business world, there are more than 100s who are doing ****ty job making 35k-70k/years for years... There is a reason that only 5% of the US workers make 100k/year... Getting six figure salary is NOT that easy....
I know sooooo many people who are going to law school right now. Unfortunately, they won't have an easy time finding a job when they're done unless they're able to do a good job networking before graduating.

I think applying to law school or business school right now is crazy unless you know someone.

Oddly enough, I also know a lot of people who got four year degrees, then immediately turned around and went to nursing school. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's weird to me that you would get a totally unrelated degree first while knowing you want to go to nursing school later. Why not enroll in a BSN program in the first place?
 
I completely understand the feeling. I'm already scared of 3rd year and not knowing **** while doing rotations.

We all have doubts, some more than others, but if you've made it this far than I think this is something you want to do 🙂
 
I know sooooo many people who are going to law school right now. Unfortunately, they won't have an easy time finding a job when they're done unless they're able to do a good job networking before graduating.

I think applying to law school or business school right now is crazy unless you know someone.

Oddly enough, I also know a lot of people who got four year degrees, then immediately turned around and went to nursing school. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's weird to me that you would get a totally unrelated degree first while knowing you want to go to nursing school later. Why not enroll in a BSN program in the first place?
I have been noticing the same thing as well about people who got a BS/BA degree, then turn around and go to an accelerated BSN or RN program because they can't find a job... Admittedly, I rarely see these threads in the pre-osteo forum suggesting people to go to law/business school to make BIG money. My hunch is that maybe there are a lot more non trad students in the this forum who have been working for a few years and they know earning big salary (100k+/year) in the real world is not that easy.
 
I completely understand the feeling. I'm already scared of 3rd year and not knowing **** while doing rotations.

We all have doubts, some more than others, but if you've made it this far than I think this is something you want to do 🙂
The thing is that we're expected to know it all, but everyone knows that's impossible. My fiancee is an IM resident, so I'm around a lot of doctors of various specialties from time to time. Even after being out of school for a couple of years, they all feel like they don't know as much as they should. The ones who act like they know it all and can never possibly be wrong are annoying, and my opinion, dangerous. If I'm sick and given the choice, I'd want a confidant, through doctor taking care of me, not an arrogant one.

Any school I attended, job I worked, etc., they all had one thing in common: There were always people who talked a lot of game, but they were always the ones who put the least amount of effort into what they were doing.
 
The thing is that we're expected to know it all, but everyone knows that's impossible. My fiancee is an IM resident, so I'm around a lot of doctors of various specialties from time to time. Even after being out of school for a couple of years, they all feel like they don't know as much as they should. The ones who act like they know it all and can never possibly be wrong are annoying, and my opinion, dangerous. If I'm sick and given the choice, I'd want a confidant, through doctor taking care of me, not an arrogant one.

Any school I attended, job I worked, etc., they all had one thing in common: There were always people who talked a lot of game, but they were always the ones who put the least amount of effort into what they were doing.
I always appreciated that my family doc, if he didn't know for certain, he'd say "let me do some research. This is what I think it is but I'll make certain before I end up misleading you." then he'd call me in the next day or two with a treatment plan and would often print out the journal articles on which he based his decision just so I could understand why he chose his treatment method. He wasn't afraid to show he wasn't certain, and it made him a WAY better physician.


I should add, because of this, I'd trust just about anything he says and I'd gladly trust him to care for me and my family.
 
I can relate to this feeling, as this comes up in my mind a lot, even as a pre med.
but honestly, in medical school you're just going to have make priorities for yourself. You're just going to have to study, and seek help if needed. The main thing is, don't be afraid to ask for help. Some people have to take the boards twice, and they still pass and get into a residency. You just have to be willing to try.

On the other hand, if you are not sure if you want to be a doctor or not, then maybe you can delay it another year and try to shadow more doctors or something to figure out if this is what you want.
 
I just hope I can get over going Vasovagal
 
I know sooooo many people who are going to law school right now. Unfortunately, they won't have an easy time finding a job when they're done unless they're able to do a good job networking before graduating.

I think applying to law school or business school right now is crazy unless you know someone.

Oddly enough, I also know a lot of people who got four year degrees, then immediately turned around and went to nursing school. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's weird to me that you would get a totally unrelated degree first while knowing you want to go to nursing school later. Why not enroll in a BSN program in the first place?

Yep... the new chemical hygiene officer at my university is an alumni who went to law school and couldn't find a job so he had to find another line of work. I'd be scared going to a low ranked private law school in this economy.
 
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