Anyone here with a special needs kid?

[MiesVanDerMom]

I know it's a long shot but I'm wondering if anyone else here has a special needs kid? There was a discussion on it over on MomMD but my son's needs are very different from the ones they were dicussing. And they were totally discouraging! So, I'm looking for some medical people handling the kid situation who are encouraging instead (maybe hoping for the non-existant I guess...)

My son's main problem is lissencephaly. He's likely to develop delays/mild ******ation as he gets older. He just started speech and vision therapies. He is 14 months.

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[efex101]

Well, you probably got the straight poop from mommd. It is very hard sure not impossible to raise young children and medical school UNLESS you have a husband that is willing and able to take up MAJOR slack. I do not know what you want to hear but this is the reality. I have older kids and it is much more doable than for those parents in my class (mothers) with younger children.

 

[MiesVanDerMom]

Well, you probably got the straight poop from mommd. It is very hard sure not impossible to raise young children and medical school UNLESS you have a husband that is willing and able to take up MAJOR slack. I do not know what you want to hear but this is the reality. I have older kids and it is much more doable than for those parents in my class (mothers) with younger children.

Uninformed negativity is rarely helpful. Thanks for the dose of "reality" because everyone knows having a baby with a rare genetic disorder tends to make one so overly optimistic.

Anyone out there who actually has a child with special needs?

 

[efex101]

I was not trying to insinuate that I know anything about having a child with special needs because I do not, sorry if you took it that way. I do however think that mommd is a website that albeit some negativity does give you a dose of what it is like day in and day out with kids period. Having children and being a physician is difficult but not impossible with a lot of help from the spouse and I assume (but assumptions are like you know what we all have them) that going to medical school with a special needs child may be even more difficult...

 

[girlsporty]

Hi Miesvandermom,

What a challenging situation!! While I am not a mother, I am the older sister of a young man with Aspberger's syndrome. These days, I'm told that it sounds so "mild" along the autism spectrum. I don't know what constitutes "mild," but for the first half of his life, my brother wasn't diagnosed as such. He was considered PDD-NOS (pervasive developmental disorder - not otherwise specified) with hyperlexia (he's really good at coding). His lifelong struggles to interact with "normal" people are certainly not "mild." In fact, he was so non-responsive as a child that the first two doctors my parents took him to suggested they find a nice institution.

Anyway, I'm not a mother, as I said, and I can't pretend to know what you're going through. I do hope, however, that you continue to see the individuality in your son and believe in your goals. Don't let moms of "normal" kids get you down.

I will say though, in some ways it's as if I've always had a son -- I have always known that I will be my brother's primary caretaker some day.

Best of luck to you!!!

 

[hereticmama]

Hi I have a special needs son age 7, along with 12 year old twin daughters. I am pre-DO, taking my MCATs in August 06. I agree with everyone else that it's hard to raise kids and go to school full time, but if you have a good support system it makes it a "little" easier.
Take Care,
Cathy

 

[montessori2md]

I have a two year old son with speech delay -not anything like your situation, perhaps, but I certainly wouldn't leave my son with just anyone. I have 2 special needs children in my classroom and have had dozens over the years.

Are you working with local early intervention services? When he is preschool age, maybe he would qualify for special needs preschool, we have that here. It's only halfday (which is often about their limit anyhow), and they provide transportation.

I'm working on my own support system when I go back to school (I'm planning to start taking prereqs this summer, I probably will take MCAT next summer). I'm trying to get my mother to move nearby so that my husband doesn't have to take on everything, I figure it's bad enough I'm racking up so much debt!

A lot of the special needs children I worked with benefitted from a social situation for a part of the day (they learned more, talked more, behavior improved), but after say, 3PM they sort of maxed out and just needed a quiet space and to be held. I would be really, really careful about choosing care -some "day care" teachers are NOT educated or prepared for special ed. Traditional babysitters can be frustrated by a special ed kid and behave in ways you would not approve (anything from too much tv to corporal punishment).

The ideal would be some time in a classroom designed for special ed, or an "inclusion friendly" school (basically, go in and be honest about your child, and if you like the way the director responds to you, that's a good sign), and also have a caregiver you trust with your child's life (that's the hard part).

 

[hcc]

I know it's a long shot but I'm wondering if anyone else here has a special needs kid? There was a discussion on it over on MomMD but my son's needs are very different from the ones they were dicussing. And they were totally discouraging! So, I'm looking for some medical people handling the kid situation who are encouraging instead (maybe hoping for the non-existant I guess...)

My son's main problem is lissencephaly. He's likely to develop delays/mild ******ation as he gets older. He just started speech and vision therapies. He is 14 months.

I have a son who is severely autistic, he is 23 and functions at a 3-5 year old level, I am a single mom, and work full time. I just do it one day at a time, drink a lot of coffee, get a lot of support from friends, peers, and fellow students. It's not easy, but its 8:30 and he is sleeping and I can finally read. He was sick more when he was little, had lots of seizures and stuff, (hows that for a medical term!) but I still think he was easier then, now he can talk (over and over and over) and imagine a three year old that can reach the top of the refridgerator! I am hoping that you are hearing the under tones... humour .. keep your humour, keep smiling, be grateful for the little things, and most of all breathe!

 

[Songeur]

I know it's a long shot but I'm wondering if anyone else here has a special needs kid? There was a discussion on it over on MomMD but my son's needs are very different from the ones they were dicussing. And they were totally discouraging! So, I'm looking for some medical people handling the kid situation who are encouraging instead (maybe hoping for the non-existant I guess...)

My son's main problem is lissencephaly. He's likely to develop delays/mild ******ation as he gets older. He just started speech and vision therapies. He is 14 months.

I saw your post last night and wanted to respond, but I had to register first and wait until I got home to get my email. (I work nights at the hospital.) I am glad to see you have received some encouraging posts.

My son just turned four and has special needs. He was a 29-week preemie and has had some developmental delays (was in different therapies four days a week) and has had some pretty significant health issues requiring hospitalization. I have been at this pre-med stuff now for three years, and I am in the middle of applying right now.

I will not lie to you and say that any of it has been easy...but you knew that. However, it has been doable. Thus far I have been the sole income for my family of four, working 60 plus hours a week mostly in night-shifts, and going to school full-time. My husband has been extremely supportive in actually staying home with the kids and doing a lot of the running to therapy, etc.

The thing is, you know your child. You know what you are capable of. We all just do what we have to do. There are ways to make it work if you feel it is the right thing for you to do to pursue medicine. None of us knows what the future holds exactly...take it one day, one step at a time. We are doing it and our kids are turning out beautifully. Yours will, too.

If you need to talk more about it or have more specific questions, I am here and available.

Hang in there 🙂

 

[JMC_MarineCorps]

I know it's a long shot but I'm wondering if anyone else here has a special needs kid? There was a discussion on it over on MomMD but my son's needs are very different from the ones they were dicussing. And they were totally discouraging! So, I'm looking for some medical people handling the kid situation who are encouraging instead (maybe hoping for the non-existant I guess...)

My son's main problem is lissencephaly. He's likely to develop delays/mild ******ation as he gets older. He just started speech and vision therapies. He is 14 months.

Hi, I am a second-year medical student in CA.

My wife and I have an 8-year-old daughter who has special needs. We have known for quite some time that she had sensory integration dysfunction, but we suspected that there was more. She is in adaptive PhysEd, occupational and speech therapy, and private one-on-one tutoring. We were working with the school district and thought about autism and pervasive developmental delay (as she isdelayed across the board in her speech, social, and fine and gross motor skills), but she was never tested. Not sure why the pediatrician didn't think there was anything wrong.

Finally, she was very recently evaluated by our regional center and while the formal evaluation is still pending, prelim assessment suggests that she has mild mental ******ation (MR) instead. But we are still waiting for the final diagnosis.

We have another daughter...she is 4 1/2...sharp as a tack.

Other than the cognitivie challenges, there are no additional 'medical needs' that tend to make things more overwhelming.

The one thing you have going for you is your husband. If you were doing it on your own that would be a tough situation. My wife and I discuss our daughter and her needs and we are always trying to tweak our approach to get her on track the best we can.

I am not discouraged at all. I am a bit bummed to learn that she won't be going to Harvard, but neither did her father.

 

[Songeur]

The one thing you have going for you is your husband. If you were doing it on your own that would be a tough situation. My wife and I discuss our daughter and her needs and we are always trying to tweak our approach to get her on track the best we can.

I am not discouraged at all. I am a bit bummed to learn that she won't be going to Harvard, but neither did her father.

Thank you for this post, too. I really appreciate your perspective. We are facing many of the same things you are with your daughter.

For the opening poster, I just wanted to add...
I don't know how to get this said the way I want to, but I'll try. Even though our son has "special needs" according to the world we live in...it is still "our normal". The things our son needs are just a part of who he is and who we have become. They may be different from what our daughter needs, and at times maybe even more stressful, but we don't know any other life to compare it to. Even if I weren't attempting medical school, I would still have to function outside of my kids' needs whether they were "special needs" or just "normal(?) needs", yk? So why not pursue the thing that I know I want/need to do?

So I say that if you are called to medicine or anything else, go for it. If you are being discouraged by some who have not walked in your shoes, realize that while intentions may be pure, they are not the authority on your life. There are doctors with all kinds of children, and a lot of those children were there for med school, too.

I would never push someone to go into medicine if he/she were unsure, but if you are sure, then I believe most circumstances can be worked out.

I wish you and your family the best! 🙂

 

[iwillbesoon]

I have a sister with schizophrenia/bipolar disorder that suddenly appeared when she turned thirteen. I've been the main support for my parents, but now I'm leaving for med school next summer. My mom still plans to start law school regardless...

I'm sure with some (hopefully family) support, everything will work out.

Good luck!

 

[tiredmom]

Hi!
My son is 10 and severely autistic. I'm currently a MS3. I couldn't do this without my husband, he's more supportive than I could have ever wished for. I won't lie... it's been hard. But with the right support, it is possible to do it... even be really successful. He was diagnosed during my undergrad days. When I heard those words, I thought - well, there goes medical school. But down the road, after maturing a bit, working as a nurse for a while... we decided to go for it. I would have never guessed I would be doing as well as I am in school. Get your support system in place first. Check out the school districts for special education... the general school rating scale tells you NOTHING about special education. Some of the best information I've received was talking to a caseworker for one of the agencies (ECI or United Way programs) to find out which schools are good for special ed. You have to be disciplined as a parent/student. I only had time to read after the kids went to bed... so that's when I read. I didn't get to go out to all the functions (or nearly any of them) because I don't have the luxury of catching up later. Good luck. PM me if I can help with more information.
🙂