Hey everyone...thanks for the input. But I guess I didn't ask precisely enough...can anyone explain to me the actual timeline for application with dates for when I need to submit the application, take the DAT, and send in letters of rec if I want to apply this summer? Also, what's a ballpark number of hours for shadowing?
As for my story...I went into college at first thinking about business, but I majored in biology because I enjoyed studying that. During my sophomore year of college, I began to feel that I would prefer to do something in the health field because of an experience I had after graduating from high school. I had gone on a mission trip to a poor area of Peru, and a teacher at the school we were renovating took me to his home to meet his dad, who was paralyzed from the waist down. I was just a kid, but the teacher begged me to help his dad because from what I could understood the teacher thought that his dad could be helped with advanced medical treatment. There wasn't much I could do...when I got back to the States I looked online for some sort of foundation that might help, but really, a foundation to help a specific person that I want to help doesn't exist. So anyways, I thought about going into medicine...and I have to admit that I was naive to aim for something without knowing it very well. But I was a sophomore in colllege, and my frame of reference as to what makes someone qualified to be successful was skewed. Being naive, I correlated real world success with good academics...ignoring important things like maturity, work ethic, wisdom, and social skills. So anyways, my next mistake was to volunteer at an ER where I didn't get much exposure to what real doctoring is like. The volunteer program wasn't geared for me to interact with doctors...more with the nurses and tech's. But I figured that I had a volunteer experience to put on my application, so it was fine.
Crap, I'm making this way too long. So basically, I didn't get a good picture of what medicine is like...for instance, I didn't talk to any residents. But I was naive, and I assumed that people do it...and since I had good grades I could do it too. And I thought, and still think, that being a doctor can be a truly rewarding and amazing experience. But I have to admit that although it wasn't my driving goal I didn't mind the prestige and compensation involved that comes with the profession. Anyways, moving on, I moved to NY from Southern California for med school last fall. I had some trouble adjusting to the change, and I didn't like my class that much...but I was excited to start and I enjoyed myself first semester. However, even from the beginning I started getting clues that I had made a mistake. A doctor who taught us about talking with patients claimed to have a very fulfilling life, and it definitely seemed like she did...but she'd also mention that she had 4 hrs of sleep the night before...adding "as usual" as a joke. Then there was an Emergency Medicine resident who taught us anatomy who told us to match into a lifestyle residency like Emergency Med, Dermatology, or Radiology because "once you remember what it's like to have a life in 4th year (the lightest year in med school), you'll never want to give it up again." However, I brushed these these comments aside. I knew that medicine was really demanding, but I felt up for the challenge.
During second semester, I went snowboarding during Presidents' Day weekend and suffered a concussion. I was ok for the most part, but for the next week I had extreme fatigue as a side effect. I didn't have the energy to do anything...and I rested in bed all week. The next week I had tests on Thursday and Friday. So Sun-Wed I studied like crazy...even though I had to drink caffeine just to stay awake literally. It was the most stressful and tiring week I had ever experienced. I thought I failed one of the tests, but even though I didn't fail I was shaken up mentally...I lost a lot of confidence in what I was doing. Part of it was due to the post-concussive syndrome that causes fatigue and depression, and part of it was because I began to question whether being a doctor is worth all the effort and sacrifice. I also began to notice that the doctors that I had exposure to who seemed happy all seemed to have an endless supply of energy...and when I thought about my class, I could see how a lot of us have drive and energy...but there are some people who are just exceptional in how much they can do. They study, run 5 clubs, perform in the talent show, are on student council, etc. I began to think that in a profession as demanding as medicine, someone might have to be THAT talented and developed to be happy.
Then I talked with a resident who had just finished his first year. He told me it was the absolute worst year of his life and that he hated every minute of work. He had gone into medicine for reasons along the same lines as mine: a doctor had treated him for free when he was five because his family was too poor to pay. He told me that he had always thought that he wouldn't become bitter about the workload...but he said that he was SO tired that he just couldn't muster any compassion for his patients. It got the point where he literally didn't care if they might die...he just wanted to go home and sleep. Everyday that he went to work he would decide that he was going to quit, that it was going to be his last day..and this was a guy who said that the 4 years of med school were enjoyable! I asked him how he got through it, and he replied that he had to force himself to stop thinking about wanting to feel rested or happy because he had to pay his loans back. His second year was a little better...but he said that he was still bitter.
So after the experience of feeling extreme fatigue after the concussion...and I've run a marathon and the concussion made me MUCH more tired, I realized that while there's a chance that I might find medicine to be an interesting, rewarding career...right now it doesn't seem likely for me. On the flip side, I know a surgery resident (they have the hardest hours and schedule) who is relatively happy with his life...so I know it's not impossible to be happy in medicine. I haven't given up on it completely yet, but I'm looking into dentistry because it's a similar field that has much more reasonable hours. Also, working with my hands is something that I've started to crave after sitting at a desk studying for long hours. Anyways, that's my story detailing the perils of having good intentions, good grades, and being naive. I said it's funny...but I guess it's not "haha" funny. If you've read this far you might have forgetten...but can someone please answer the questions in the first paragraph? Thanks!
