Are you done yet? (explaining length of study, psychology, to others)

[psych844]

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I'm wondering how you handled explaining your studies to family, extended family, friends, and acquaintances. Getting a Phd. is a long journey, and a lot of people are clueless of what a Phd is about, and the work that is required. I'm sure this is the case for most graduate students, but there is also questions from extended family like "are you done yet?". The journey is long so a lot of people are shocked that you are still going to school for something. lol There is then the fact that a lot of people confuse Psychologists and Psychiatrists. How did you explain that?

Essentially I'm curious to know...1. How supportive was your family/friends on your journey to a Phd? 2. How many people actually understand what you were studying?

 

[smalltownpsych]

My wife was supportive and understood the path and how long it would take. No one else did. My mother-in-law suggested I stop wasting time as a student and get a real job right when I was applying for internships. A few people in my family have actually consulted with me about a few issues and sought out help for them. My mother still knows more about everything in psychology and everything else than I do so have given up on helping her to understand what I do. Psychiatrists prescribe drugs, I don't. Is the extent of my answer to that one usually. Occasionally I run into someone that has an interest in the field and this can as to some fruitful discussions, but that is the exception in the family, for sure.

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

My family tried to understand (both what I do and also the timeline), but it was mostly, "well…now I live in [city], and I'll be here for [x] year(s)." Now that I've been out a number of years it is down to two places (where I am now and where I did my fellowship), so that's an improvement!

 

[Chalupacabra]

Just need to develop thick skin about it. I just finished a master's program and am entering a doctoral program. When I tell people I have 5-6 years (including internship and post-doc) left they are often pretty blunt - usually something like "You're going to just go to school forever, aren't you?" Sometimes I try to explain how funded doctoral programs are different - how it's kind of a combination of a job and traditional academics, and that I'm getting paid to do this and don't have to worry about tuition costs. That all depends on if the person seems like they're genuinely interested/receptive or they just want to continue to make flabbergasted comments about how ridiculously long I've been in school. If it's the latter they're probably not worth talking to anyhow, as far as I'm concerned.

In terms of what T4C mentions about reguarly needing to relocate, people don't really question that. It probably helps that I haven't stayed in one place/occupation for more than a year or two since I finished undergrad, so most people I know are kind of used to me uprooting myself and landing somewhere new fairly frequently. In one of my circles I also have a good friend who took a year of non-matric psych classes and then went back to become an RPN a few years after finishing undergrad, so it helps to not be alone in living that lifestyle (and to have someone to commiserate with about these conversations).

 

[psych844]

One time my brother was explaining what a Psychologist is to my dad, and my dad asked "can you prescribe medications?"....since my brother said "no"..my dad replied "well that seems like a waste of time.."

 

[bmedclinic]

I have varying levels of friends and family that get it/dont get it.
The worst is when I'm asked why I dont do a "more useful" job like a youth minister. Ha! More often, it was (I'm done now) easier just to briefly explain what I do (e.g. how I'm not a psychiatrist) and when I'll be done. No talk about labs, statistics, post docs, internship. Where you live. What you do (ever so briefly). How long you'll be there. And an end goal- "licensed in 2014!". That seemed to appease people.

However, it doesnt work perfectly. I have an aunt who still asks me about writing her prescriptions. She must not understand that I didnt go to med school, even though I went to a university that had a med school and worked alongside residents/med students? I dunno. Good luck. I'd just say that keep it simple and expect people to have varying levels of not understanding.

 

[BuckeyeLove]

My friends and family were always cool with it. However, now that I'm finishing up fellowship and I tell them I'm going to be going to a night law school program to supplement my specialty area, their looks tend to become slightly concerned 🙄

 

[smalltownpsych]

My friends and family were always cool with it. However, now that I'm finishing up fellowship and I tell them I'm going to be going to a night law school program to supplement my specialty area, their looks tend to become slightly concerned 🙄

When you are bringing in the big bucks as a top forensics guy, they'll "sort of" get it then. 😉

 

[cara susanna]

My mom was on board until it was time to apply for post docs. She was like, "I thought you were done after internship!"

And my husband hasn't commented. I guess he knows that he is along for the ride!

 

[smalltownpsych]

I think I may have posted this before so apologies for that. Anyway, my mom was visiting my new office last summer and when I showed her the testing closet she said, "I thought you had to have special training to do testing." My wife deadpanned, "Yes, it's called being a psychologist."

 

[psych844]

I'm a second degree student, so just two months back was explaining to my mom that i'd have to do one additional undergrad year for the thesis..I was also explaining i'm trying to get research experience in a lab this year..took awhile to explain the difference between just helping out at a lab and doing a thesis. lol

 

[psych844]

But yeah, the problem with the talk (post above), is that it seemed that maybe she didn't totally believe me..and that maybe there was something wrong (i was failing classes etc and that is why i had to to an extra year).

But it is precisely why i wanted to start this thread. It seems most people don't really understand how many things can go wrong where you might need to do an extra year...and they especially don't understand the psychology specific stuff.

 

[AcronymAllergy]

While the training route generally isn't as well-understood as medical school or law school, I just answered with quick factual information when asked about it (e.g., "it generally takes folks about 5-7 years to get through grad school and internship, and then maybe another year or two for postdoc and to get licensed"), which was usually enough. If they had more specific questions about the steps taken along the way, I was happy to answer, but this didn't happen very often, other than maybe a general statement about a dissertation.

Beyond that, I think it's pretty common in many jobs for folks outside the field to not really know what you do day-to-day. I have plenty of friends who work in various areas of finance, for example, but I couldn't tell you the first thing as to what they actually do other than very general stuff. Likewise, my brother is a network security geek, and again, I couldn't begin to tell you what his job looks like on a daily basis. Nor do I have much of an idea as to the specifics of their various ongoing trainings and certifications.

 

[Quiche]

I guess I'm one of the lucky few who's experienced lots of support from my family and friends. I found a helpful infographic on pinterest that outlines all of the steps to the psyd/phd degree (i just searched clinical psychology and it came right up). It covers some basic information about populations served and salaries. It also outlines all of the steps post bachelor's degree. My family (especially my mom) found it helpful to have a visual of all of the steps involved and appreciate the process better. It covers grad school, internship, post doc, licensure, board certification, and continuing ed. My family has taken to checking off my steps as I complete them. As a note, I'm not a fan of the way they differentiate between the psyd and phd, but I understand the point is to be very basic and easy to digest.

 

[eremitestar]

I'm finishing up internship and about to graduate (yay, finally!!), and I just had an interesting conversation with my father. It turns out that I spent so much time talking to him about all the research, clinical work, and teaching I've done over the years, that he was under the impression this was ALL I had done (i.e., that I never actually took any classes). I always figured that part was a given. Guess not.