Bad idea to write about in PS?

[BirdietheCockatiel]

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Hi everyone, I would really appreciate a little advice regarding my personal statement topic. I was planning on writing about how the doctors had a big impact on my mom around the time when I was born. To summarize, I had some pretty alarming test results that left my parents feeling very anxious and worried (as any parents of a newborn would be). After finding out I would have to take medications for the rest of my life, my mother kinda panicked. However, a physician connected with her emotionally and truly made an impact in her life. She still remembers this memory 20+ years later. The first time she told me this story brought tears to her eyes and it really made an impact on me as well to see how much this doctor meant to her. Its part of what makes me want to impact other families going through crisis in the same way. I would really enjoy writing about this but I'm not sure if the fact that I didn't "witness" this story unfold back then would made this a bad idea. Kind of like, "it's someone else's story" kind of thing. I'm not sure if I'm being neurotic but I would love some opinions from you all.

Thank you!

 

[deleted987519]

From what I've gathered, it's not a good idea to make someone else the star of your personal statement.

 

[907914]

Hi everyone, I would really appreciate a little advice regarding my personal statement topic. I was planning on writing about how the doctors had a big impact on my mom around the time when I was born. To summarize, I had some pretty alarming test results that left my parents feeling very anxious and worried (as any parents of a newborn would be). After finding out I would have to take medications for the rest of my life, my mother kinda panicked. However, a physician connected with her emotionally and truly made an impact in her life. She still remembers this memory 20+ years later. The first time she told me this story brought tears to her eyes and it really made an impact on me as well to see how much this doctor meant to her. Its part of what makes me want to impact other families going through crisis in the same way. I would really enjoy writing about this but I'm not sure if the fact that I didn't "witness" this story unfold back then would made this a bad idea. Kind of like, "it's someone else's story" kind of thing. I'm not sure if I'm being neurotic but I would love some opinions from you all.

Thank you!

I would focus more on your story of now. Maybe if you can shorten this all in to one paragraph as an introduction then cool.

 

[BirdietheCockatiel]

I would focus more on your story of now. Maybe if you can shorten this all in to one paragraph as an introduction then cool.

yeah, I was thinking of making this as my introduction to introduce that initial spark that led me to medicine. Sorry, should have been more clear.

 

[gyngyn]

yeah, I was thinking of making this as my introduction to introduce that initial spark that led me to medicine. Sorry, should have been more clear.

Write the whole thing with this as your first paragraph.
Then, eliminate the first paragraph.
If it reads better without it, keep it out.

 

[Goro]

From what I've gathered, it's not a good idea to make someone else the star of your personal statement.

I agree. YOU are applying to med school, not your mom.

 

[Catalystik]

Maybe if you can shorten this all in to one paragraph as an introduction then cool.

I was thinking one sentence.

 

[907914]

I was thinking one sentence.

"I first wanted to pursue medicine when my mother told me how sick I was as a child. Thinking of what she had to go through, I began to wonder what I could do to help others like her."

Maybe 2 sentences. If that.

 

[Catalystik]

Family stories of the medical uncertainties related to my birth and the emotional support my mother's doctor gave her made me feel that I'd like to have a similar impact on others' lives.

One sentence.

 

[deleted972488]

"I first wanted to pursue medicine when my mother told me how sick I was as a child. Thinking of what she had to go through, I began to wonder what I could do to help others like her."

Maybe 2 sentences. If that.

Family stories of the medical uncertainties related to my birth and the emotional support my mother's doctor gave her made me feel that I'd like to have a similar impact on others' lives.

One sentence.

Both of these examples make me think OP is better off with zero sentences about this topic.

 

[Catalystik]

Both of these examples make me think OP is better off with zero sentences about this topic.

Then gyngyn's approach got your vote, namely, leave out the introduction after the rest of the essay is written.

 

[BirdietheCockatiel]

What you guys are saying makes a lot of sense. Thank you all, really appreciate the help. Good luck to everyone else applying this cycle as well.

 

[_Cloud9]

It's okay to talka bout your struggles - but you want to make sure that your personal statement surrounds your interest more as to why you want to purse medicine. Keep it minimal and you will see that your personal statement is concise and straight to the point and not talking about someone else.