beginning of a personal statement

[naixin]

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I wrote an ancedote from my volunteer experience as the beginning, it's a very mundane thing. I just took care of a patients after she had done with a procedure and I felt happy that I was able to help her.
Is it not good to put that at the beginning?

 

[Ismet]

You want your introduction to grab the reader's attention and make them want to read on. That might sound cliche, but a basic, boring introduction does not make a strong PS.

 

[nychila]

I wrote an ancedote from my volunteer experience as the beginning, it's a very mundane thing. I just took care of a patients after she had done with a procedure and I felt happy that I was able to help her.
Is it not good to put that at the beginning?

Sounds very genuine. Make sure that you're able to express your sincerity through your words. Avoid cliches. Good luck.

 

[LessonZero]

Beginning with such a clinically-related anecdote is often regarded as cliche, as countless personal statements employ this technique. However, if the experience was truly very meaningful to you and you manage to convey it in an interesting manner that grabs the reader's attention, it could potentially be effective. I would be wary about talking about it, however, if it is simply "a very mundane thing".

 

[naixin]

It's really small things, like giving weak patients food, blankets. Actually during all my volunteer, I did small things. But I was able to feel happy about them. Someone just commented that it's not enough, especially I also want to be a physician scientist (I'm a phd), I should do more (talk more about translational research, bla, bla) than simply feeling happy with those small things.

 

[naixin]

I also feel that starting with a story is both kind of standard and cliche. You really need very impressive story if you start with a story.

 

[ccrone]

I also feel that starting with a story is both kind of standard and cliche. You really need very impressive story if you start with a story.

You mean like this:

It was raining cats and dogs in Calcutta the day my sister told me she was getting married...

My husband and I had dinner with a former professor of mine the other night. At one point, he started telling a story about being angry at his sister for getting married so young (presumably owing to the fact that we were talking about large Indian weddings). Anyway, I think I'm going to write a story where this is the opening.

Eh, or at least make a youtube video. I need to find someone who sounds like Humphrey Bogart to do the voice-over.

Ironically enough, this guy used to be one the adcom for the medical school at WUSTL. Here were his personal statement tips:

1. Don't claim you've wanted to be a doctor/scientist/whatever since you were two. He said he always made a point of humiliating people who wrote that (ie, nobody remembers when they were two).

2. >95% of applicants are full of crap. According to him, the "full of crap" part wasn't what bothered him. It was the fact that they were so transparently full of crap. In other words, don't be like this guy.

 

[pfaction]

2. >95% of applicants are full of crap. According to him, the "full of crap" part wasn't what bothered him. It was the fact that they were so transparently full of crap. In other words, don't be like this guy.

I love this because it's true. Most of our application is crap. If it weren't required, most of us would do nothing but study to get good grades and apply.

We spew out wanting to help people and doing all these things for the "underserved". I wonder how many continue to do it in med school, or when they graduate as full MD's. Close to probably 1-2%.

 

[polymathg]

Starting the PS with a story is fine, but make sure it catches the reader's attention to keep reading more.
You could also use that story for another paragraph, and explain what you learned from it and how those skills are going to be helpful in your medical career. Explain how that experience was meaningful and how it motivated you to become a doctor.

 

[PlatypusMD]

You mean like this:



My husband and I had dinner with a former professor of mine the other night. At one point, he started telling a story about being angry at his sister for getting married so young (presumably owing to the fact that we were talking about large Indian weddings). Anyway, I think I'm going to write a story where this is the opening.

Eh, or at least make a youtube video. I need to find someone who sounds like Humphrey Bogart to do the voice-over.

Ironically enough, this guy used to be one the adcom for the medical school at WUSTL. Here were his personal statement tips:

1. Don't claim you've wanted to be a doctor/scientist/whatever since you were two. He said he always made a point of humiliating people who wrote that (ie, nobody remembers when they were two).

2. >95% of applicants are full of crap. According to him, the "full of crap" part wasn't what bothered him. It was the fact that they were so transparently full of crap. In other words, don't be like this guy.

Lol that guy's claims are almost as hilarious as Kim Jong-il's. It would be interesting to see everyone post their personal statement's starting paragraph. If other people are game, then so am I

 

[TheWeeIceMan]

I feel like almost every type of opening has been done hundreds of times before. It's how you write about it and make it unique that I think is important.

The PS can be a huge pain, especially with all of the do's and don't that you need to watch for. When I wrote mine, I kept getting the urge to just write "I can haz MD?" and just leave it at that.

 

[ccrone]

I feel like almost every type of opening has been done hundreds of times before. It's how you write about it and make it unique that I think is important.

The PS can be a huge pain, especially with all of the do's and don't that you need to watch for. When I wrote mine, I kept getting the urge to just write "I can haz MD?" and just leave it at that.

I decided to ignore the "do's and don'ts," with the exception of using meticulously proper grammar, wording, etc. I figured that no matter what I wrote, *somebody* wouldn't like it. So I wrote what I wanted, and was completely sincere about it. Being sincere is the best I can do. If somebody else doesn't like it, well...I can't do anything about it. 😉

Here's my opening paragraph:

Our most precious hopes are the ones we keep hidden from the world. We bury them deeply inside ourselves, fearful that speaking of them will somehow diminish their beauty. For a long time, I wouldn't tell anyone about my dream of becoming a doctor. I was afraid. I knew that speaking of it would surely lead to ridicule. Young mothers don't become doctors. Medical school is for the young, still unhindered by responsibility. It's not for a woman with a family, hurtling towards her thirtieth birthday. I knew that if I told them of my hope, they'd tell me that I couldn't do it. They'd list all of the reasons I'd fail. The thought that they might be right--or worse yet, that I might believe them--was unbearable. So I kept my dream tucked away, buried so deeply inside myself that I wondered if I'd ever find it again.

 

[TheWeeIceMan]

I decided to ignore the "do's and don'ts," with the exception of using meticulously proper grammar, wording, etc. I figured that no matter what I wrote, *somebody* wouldn't like it. So I wrote what I wanted, and was completely sincere about it. Being sincere is the best I can do. If somebody else doesn't like it, well...I can't do anything about it. 😉

Here's my opening paragraph:

I wish I could write that eloquently.🙁

 

[wololololololo]

I found this to be good advice. Keep it concise and realize that the average adcom has read thousands of personal statements and probably seen every possible motivation for medicine. Although they will find non-trad perspectives more interesting by default when compared to the legions of 22 year old biology majors.

 

[PlatypusMD]

I decided to ignore the "do's and don'ts," with the exception of using meticulously proper grammar, wording, etc. I figured that no matter what I wrote, *somebody* wouldn't like it. So I wrote what I wanted, and was completely sincere about it. Being sincere is the best I can do. If somebody else doesn't like it, well...I can't do anything about it. 😉

Here's my opening paragraph:

Here's mine:

"Hey PlatypusMD?"

"Yes Amy?"

"Will you marry me?" Still holding a tiny pink cup, I looked across the table and could not help but smile. A six-year old little girl whom I met not even 30 minutes ago had just proposed to me. Letting out a laugh, I replied, "I'm flattered, but I think I'm a bit too old for you!" "Hmm. I guess so. Want more tea?" I extended my little tea cup as she tipped the plastic kettle; the toy made a pouring sound which echoed within the hospital playroom. We spent the rest of tea time talking about her family, intermittently breaking topic to gaze out the large glass wall and point at the white, fluffy animals floating across the blue sky.