- Joined
- Jan 22, 2016
- Messages
- 3
- Reaction score
- 4
I took the MCAT for the first time on January 22nd and I feel like I just kinda broke through on my post-test blues. It seems really cool that people can post about how the MCAT makes them feel on this site and everyone's totally respectful, so here's what's up with me:
While I was studying, I felt like I held the ultimate power to determine how I would score, and that felt good. Finally taking the test feels like giving up all that power. All of a sudden, it's like I have way less control over my future. I know I can take it again if I don't like my score, but it still feels uncomfortable to have the test behind me.
Here's why making this observation of myself is important: I think I confused the bad feeling of losing control with my attitude towards my actual performance. It was a major burden to be like, wow, I feel bad about that test. Turns out I don't feel that way at all. The truth is that I have no idea how I did and have no reason to feel any particular way about it. I know I was really well prepared and I did well on practice tests, but I also never really knew how I did on those before getting my scores. It's way easier to cope with the mystery of my impending MCAT score and the sudden loss of control over my future as two completely separate issues. There is no reason why they should influence each other, besides the fact that they hit me simultaneously.
Now I'm gonna chill out and be glad that I can post this on the SDN where people will probably get what I'm talking about instead of just saying, "you must be so glad to be done studying!" If studying bummed me out, I definitely wouldn't be applying to med school.
While I was studying, I felt like I held the ultimate power to determine how I would score, and that felt good. Finally taking the test feels like giving up all that power. All of a sudden, it's like I have way less control over my future. I know I can take it again if I don't like my score, but it still feels uncomfortable to have the test behind me.
Here's why making this observation of myself is important: I think I confused the bad feeling of losing control with my attitude towards my actual performance. It was a major burden to be like, wow, I feel bad about that test. Turns out I don't feel that way at all. The truth is that I have no idea how I did and have no reason to feel any particular way about it. I know I was really well prepared and I did well on practice tests, but I also never really knew how I did on those before getting my scores. It's way easier to cope with the mystery of my impending MCAT score and the sudden loss of control over my future as two completely separate issues. There is no reason why they should influence each other, besides the fact that they hit me simultaneously.
Now I'm gonna chill out and be glad that I can post this on the SDN where people will probably get what I'm talking about instead of just saying, "you must be so glad to be done studying!" If studying bummed me out, I definitely wouldn't be applying to med school.
