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Pharmacy is saturated.

 

[projektreverb]

This made me laugh a little too hard.

 

[PharmDBro2017]

And not a single laugh was had that day.

 

[mentos]

The 40 year residency had me lmao!!

 

[Pharmacy is a Scam]

Recap of this month in pharmacy news:
-A Chinese conglomerate bought 97% of all CVS retail locations. The deal consists of 240 billion in Extrabucks and all the stock options no longer available to CVS employees. All employees will need to complete module 88888 in Learnet to demonstrate a proficiency in Mandarin. All systems will be in Mandarin effective tomorrow.
-Rite Aid attempted to buy the remaining CVS stores, but the FTC refused the acquisition citing fears that the new company would increase drug prices.
-Walgreens began building housing units at retail locations for employees thus eliminating the need to commute. Pharmacists will automatically be paged to work a 30-minute shift once 50 customers have been qued in the store.
-Trump decreed by executive order all pharmacists be conscripted into service for the purpose of building a wall across the Mexican border to stimulate a stagnating economy. Payment will consist of having student loans forgiven upon the day of the worker's death excluding interest.
-APhA announced a new initiative to encourage pharmacists to not become pharmacists in the first place which was followed by an immediate surge of pharmacy school applicants and the opening of 8 more schools of pharmacy.
-Kaiser announced a new 40-year residency program whereby graduates learn the pharmaceutical knowledge needed to care for themselves when retiring immediately after completion of the residency. Pay will consist of a 40k stipend and a 2% annual raise conditional on passing yearly board exams.
-The DEA announced that all controlled substances will now be available over the counter since everyone seems to want to learn the hard way anyway.
-Blue Cross made processing retail pharmacy insurance claims more intuitive by now rejecting all claims with a notice that says, "Just bill it as cash. It's cheaper anyway."
-Several schools of pharmacy on the East Coast implemented retroactive tuition raises on those who graduated between 1974 and 2018. Bills will be sent out in the coming weeks and must be paid or your degree will be redacted.
-Amazon announced plans to open retail pharmacies in every Whole Foods store as a means of expanding its PillPack business. Shares immediately dropped 100% on the news as investors realized margins in the retail pharmacy business would completely eliminate the profits made on Kindle books and dildos which represent an 87% share of the company's current revenues.

Hope you enjoyed some satire. Best wishes to those affected by the changing job market.

What’s scary is that my first thought when reading this was “can’t tell if this is serious news or troll news.”

Goes to show that given the circus show that is pharmacy, there’s no news I won’t believe anymore.

 

[CetiAlphaFive]

HannibalBurressSayingWack.webm

 

[RxPreceptor]

SDN's the "Daily Show" equivalent

 

[owlegrad]

SDN's the "Daily Show" equivalent

More like the onion I would say.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

 

[PA_dud3]

Lmao the learnet thing killed me, hahaha