- Joined
- Jul 28, 2014
- Messages
- 52
- Reaction score
- 54
Last edited:
Fear not as you are not alone in feeling this way.Just wanted to get my thoughts out here, an opportunity made thanks to anonymity.
As I graduate and complete my MD PhD, I am feeling pretty burnt out about research in general. It feels misery shadows my future career because I do not enjoy the work I have done thus far. Data gathering and answering questions through research doesn’t excite me any more. I don’t ever want to touch a pipette. I don’t want to scruff mice anymore. I still have PTSD from grant writings/thesis writing/academic egos flying around. I hate the idea that I will always be bringing work home in academic medicine and research. I really don’t want to get grants and boss postdocs around to get more data. It’s all about the data, right?? The pressures of grant writing and data gathering. The politics. The fact that academic medicine has significant haircut of a salary. I feel like I would really need to love research to stay in this field but I am struggling to revamp my passion. I have been scoffing at my personal statement that I wrote for the MD PhD application. I am really getting close to regretting ever getting into this field.
Is there something wrong with me? Am I the only one feeling this way? What career alternatives are there? If I go private practice will I forever live in a bubble of shame? Maybe I just need a vacation?
I still have PTSD from grant writings/thesis writing/academic egos flying around. I hate the idea that I will always be bringing work home in academic medicine and research. I really don’t want to get grants and boss postdocs around to get more data. It’s all about the data, right?? The pressures of grant writing and data gathering. The politics. The fact that academic medicine has significant haircut of a salary. I feel like I would really need to love research to stay in this field but I am struggling to revamp my passion. I have been scoffing at my personal statement that I wrote for the MD PhD application. I am really getting close to regretting ever getting into this field.
Is there something wrong with me? Am I the only one feeling this way? What career alternatives are there? If I go private practice will I forever live in a bubble of shame? Maybe I just need a vacation?
LOL, come on man. These are the sourest grapes I’ve seen in a while. If anything, most successful PIs have enough family or spousal financial support to not care about the low income in academia. Most were born winners - you’re a loser in their eyes because you have to make these cost-benefit analyses. If academia was such a bad deal for everyone, it wouldn’t be highly competitive.
This is really encouraging to hear, congrats!I felt the same way you did finishing MD/PhD. I let myself dive into intern year with no more thoughts of being an academician. I killed that idea off completely in my head.
Start of 3rd year into residency I had a good opportunity and good support/mentorship in my program to get back into it. They knew I had the background and actually wanted to have more residents do bench research (believe it or not). I decided I would do it, but completely on my terms (meaning, I was developing my own research program within the auspices and mentorship of the department-- not working strictly on someone else's project). Fast forward, I'll be starting a lab this year right after completing residency, 75 lab /25 clinic with excellent startup/salary (same as full time clinicians). Didn't think I would be doing this at all at the end of MD/PhD.
"Walk away" from it mentally. And then it's your choice whether or not to do it from that point (not someone else's expectation).
Is there something wrong with me? Am I the only one feeling this way? What career alternatives are there? If I go private practice will I forever live in a bubble of shame? Maybe I just need a vacation?
This has changed... There is increasing focus on outcomes during MSTP T32 renewals. The T32 MSTP FOA instruct reviewers to examine whether the program outcomes contribute to careers involved or supporting biomedical research.There is no consequence for the MSTP grad in PP except their own feelings about it--and some people who go into PP come out relieved they tried the MD/PhD path, realized it wasn't for them, and live a content life knowing that's what they want to be doing.
I just corrected your [quoted] statement from the standpoint of the program. My interest and commitment to all of my trainees is for them to discover the path that best suits them. This is a hard career, and I give a lot of though love to them, starting in the recruiting trail, during training, and after graduation. This career is not for everybody... despite of being qualified or having the aptitude. There is a reason why about 100 (out of 800+) applicants withdraw AFTER receiving a MD/PhD acceptance. After matriculation, about 10-15% of MSTP trainees withdraw and the majority of them, just complete their MD training.
That’s not a fair comparison because the national MD pool and MD/PhD pool have different career goals (and both have different job prospects than PhD-only). If you killed all MD/PhD programs those now MD students would still go on to outperform (academics, clinical trials, grants) compared to the average MD applicant. A more fair comparison may be the long-term track record of MDs who go on to apply for fellowship awards or residency level PhD/research, compared to MD/PhD programs. I don’t think that comparison would be so favorable toward MD/PhDs.Long-term career outcomes from PhD programs include 23% of graduates in academic medicine (w 18% NIH funded). Many PhD graduates contribute to many other careers that support our biomedical research enterprise (such as patent law, science journalism, etc.) For MD/PhD programs, it is about 75% in academic medicine, government or research institutes (w 43% NIH funded), 6% in industry, and 15% in private practice. Some in PP actually contribute enrolling into clinical trials. Long-term outcomes for MD-only program show that <10% stay in academic medicine (w <1.5% NIH funded). IMHO, if a program overperforms compared to those national benchmarks, then their good outcomes overmatch their bad outcomes.
I agree that MD/PhD is a good program. My opinion is the exact type of person going each route is different, and if you moved the MD/PhD population onto the MD track, that population would outperform the MD line in that graph because of their inherent interests/personality/traits.If you compare the outcomes to first R01 for Post-doc T32 awardees (in research intensive residencies), MD/PhD trainees have twice the subsequent grant success as compared to MD trainees.View attachment 335616
Sounds ripe for an RCT 😂I agree that MD/PhD is a good program. My opinion is the exact type of person going each route is different, and if you moved the MD/PhD population onto the MD track, that population would outperform the MD line in that graph because of their inherent interests/personality/traits.
Another factor is simple reviewer bias that could favor MD/PhD grants over MDs at the grant review process. I’ve seen grants awarded to those who put in “more years” of dedication to the career, over others who may have had a similar grant but didn’t “put in the years.”
There’s no good way to test/show some of these biases. Does MD/PhD training teach you enough by itself to be competitive for an R01? No way. But it does get you on the track perhaps better than some MD-only options. On the other hand, maybe MD/PhDs are also preferentially given better mentors/resources etc over MDs? I see this every year in my residency program— the MD residents with years of research before Med school but without PhD are not allowed by the program to join the research track. We award those who have been awarded previously. I’m not sure how much these things systemically favor MD/PhDs over MDs but it is not zero (with the postulate that the Md/PhD program do not value-add as much as we think, rather that systemic bias contributes a lot).
Is the glass 1/4 full or 3/4 empty? The rate is still less than 25% even for this highly enriched population of MD/PhDs who found research intensive residencies.
Still better than less than 10% though, I will give you that...
25% is really crazy when you think about it for more than a second. And yet somehow this deemed "acceptable". And this is 15 *years* after *T32 matriculation*. I really think a lot of people start asking themselves what the point of any of this is around 5 years after T32 matriculation.
Oh yeah. I remember feeling that way at the end of my basic science PhD.Thank you everyone for your contribution to this post. I have no reason to doubt or question the inherent value of the MD-PhD training program.
I think a problem for me is that I've become so cynical in the progress during my PhD (especially early on when I was scolded a lot) as a result of the mental stress that I no longer truly believe that I have done a good job in my research. Whenever people tell me that I have done a good job, I just brush that off with a thought like: "You're probably lying and just trying to encourage me so I can more research." I don't think I did a good job and I probably have severe imposter syndrome.
Also I didn't realize what it takes to become a "successful scientist." You can't just be naive and trust everyone in the research environment. You have to protect yourself. You can't present all data. You have to hide things from your PI/colleagues. People can take your data and write a grant without you knowing. Networking and smiling at conferences to present data and only get scooped. This is another large factor that steers me away from research is from the stories of scooping, data-stealing, etc. People retiring without ever receiving grants because someone took their precious data. Remember to lock up all cabinets and doors. Make sure there's video recording system present 24/7 in the hallways.
I was so incredibly naive before starting MD/PhD. Didn't realize how much backstabbing, gossiping and "fake-it-till-you-make-it" was important to stay competitive for grants. I'll probably dread even looking at a benchtop, pipette, or rat housing rooms ever during residency/after.
Another consideration regarding translational research is that our largely wet lab PhDs generally do not prepare you at all for a career in clinical research. Comparing experimental groups in Prism or Excel is not sufficient for design of clinical trials and downstream multivariate analysis of large clinical datasets. I find that MD trainees who focused on clinical research starting in medical school had a significant advantage on this career path over conventional MSTPs. As I currently go through the process of revising and re-revising a C/N/S manuscript (now almost 1.5 years from initial submission) my peers have published 10-20 clinical manuscripts in this time frame. This phenomenon is amplified in faculty, where those that are highly productive in clinical research are promoted and advance in national reputation faster than faculty pursuing high-risk basic science projects.Oh yeah. I remember feeling that way at the end of my basic science PhD.
Honestly I think the environment is a bit better in clinical/translational research. Things are more team-based and there's not so much of these little PI-based fiefdoms that are in competition with each other. Clinical questions always need replication so there's not nearly as much intensity around the possibility of scoopage. And the flexibility of being able to fill non-research time with clinical work also makes the endeavor less pressurized, which reduces the incentives to engage in unethical behavior in the pursuit of success.
Also I didn't realize what it takes to become a "successful scientist." You can't just be naive and trust everyone in the research environment. You have to protect yourself. You can't present all data. You have to hide things from your PI/colleagues. People can take your data and write a grant without you knowing. Networking and smiling at conferences to present data and only get scooped. This is another large factor that steers me away from research is from the stories of scooping, data-stealing, etc. People retiring without ever receiving grants because someone took their precious data. Remember to lock up all cabinets and doors. Make sure there's video recording system present 24/7 in the hallways.
I was so incredibly naive before starting MD/PhD. Didn't realize how much backstabbing, gossiping and "fake-it-till-you-make-it" was important to stay competitive for grants. I'll probably dread even looking at a benchtop, pipette, or rat housing rooms ever during residency/after.
This is true but elides the fact that there is also a ton of garbage published in basic science. (Amyloid hypothesis anyone?) I find Sturgeon's Law pretty accurate for most situations.There's a lot of garbage published as translational research though. I mean, I get it, the "publish or perish" manta exists everywhere in academia, but man has it created some rotten "science" along the way.
I would agree with that except that it is pretty easy to publish “research” in clinical/translational that has no hypothesis. It’s more collect patient data and discuss the correlation found by data mining for statistical significance. I suppose that could happen in basic science, one could put “omic” studies into that realm, but I still think there’s more hypothesis testing in basic science than clinical/translational research.This is true but elides the fact that there is also a ton of garbage published in basic science. (Amyloid hypothesis anyone?) I find Sturgeon's Law pretty accurate for most situations.
Publish or perish is way stronger in basic science because people's careers and livelihoods are at stake. I just don't see that in clinical research because you're not going to lose your job if you don't hit that special h-index.
The crap in clinical research comes from the ethical and practical limitations to conducting well designed studies with appropriate controls on human populations. When doing it right is not an option, people just do something else, and it gets published somewhere, and lives to spawn a thousand breathless and hopelessly inaccurate headlines in Prevention magazine or whatnot.
I would agree with that except that it is pretty easy to publish “research” in clinical/translational that has no hypothesis. It’s more collect patient data and discuss the correlation found by data mining for statistical significance. I suppose that could happen in basic science, one could put “omic” studies into that realm, but I still think there’s more hypothesis testing in basic science than clinical/translational research.
But either way, clearly the “publish or perish” model of acquiring funding and advancing ones career leaves a lot to be desired.
The incentives towards that kind of thing are not nearly as powerful in clinical research. I'm not saying it's not there at all, just that it's not as overpowering.