Cain't Touch These

[circulus vitios]

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What are you gonna do when you have to get all up in a real human vag for a pap smear/pelvic exam? 😕

I'll try my hardest to avoid putting myself in such a situation (unless she's hot), but a human vagina is less disgusting than a monkey vagina.

Why am I even typing this. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

 

[circulus vitios]

approves of this thread.

F-E-E-T

FEET! FEET! FEET!

 

[StudyShy]

I didn't expect him to be whiter than me!

I want to see the rest of his legs. 😀

The first time that I watched a vaginal exam, a whole bunch of goop (way worse than monkey vag secretions) fell on the NP's leg when she took out the speculum. Like obs and gobs of it.

 

[Frazier]

I didn't expect him to be whiter than me!

I want to see the rest of his legs. 😀

The first time that I watched a vaginal exam, a whole bunch of goop (way worse than monkey vag secretions) fell on the NP's leg when she took out the speculum. Like obs and gobs of it.

Was it a newborn baby, perhaps?

 

[StudyShy]

Was it a newborn baby, perhaps?

Nope. Just all natural moisture. Smelly snappers.

We recently had a baby in the ER. Doc did the vag exam and thought that the girl was just constipated. 2 minutes later, she had a 3 lb suprise!

 

[rhesuspieces]

I didn't expect him to be whiter than me!

I want to see the rest of his legs. 😀

The first time that I watched a vaginal exam, a whole bunch of goop (way worse than monkey vag secretions) fell on the NP's leg when she took out the speculum. Like obs and gobs of it.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN MONKEY VAG SECRETIONS?!

I'd honestly prefer to take a human pap smear because at least human females don't try to steal the swab and eat it.

 

[rhesuspieces]

I hope you get accepted just for the crap you went through for your app.

Unless you actually have a passion for monkey vag

Also, thanks! It actually makes for a good conversation topic in interviews. I had an interviewer who was fascinated that we could take swabs from the monkeys without needing to sedate them. I spent 15 minutes describing the precise behavioral shaping involved in getting a monkey to present her vagina for swabbing.

And no, no passion for monkey vag here.

 

[IHOPness]

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN MONKEY VAG SECRETIONS?!

I'd honestly prefer to take a human pap smear because at least human females don't try to steal the swab and eat it.

Mmmm...tasty! Just remember that there is a size difference between monkeys and humans. Bigger the beast=more secretions.

 

[rhesuspieces]

Mmmm...tasty! Just remember that there is a size difference between monkeys and humans. Bigger the beast=more secretions.

I'll give you that.

Also, +10000 points to everybody for helping steer this thread in a direction Cole never could have anticipated.

 

[fizzgig]

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN MONKEY VAG SECRETIONS?!

I'd honestly prefer to take a human pap smear because at least human females don't try to steal the swab and eat it.

yep, officially coulda done without that...

 

[IHOPness]

Also, +10000 points to everybody for helping steer this thread in a direction Cole never could have anticipated.

Cole would either be proud or run for the opposite sex. He also knows now to stay away from monkeys.

 

[FlowRate]

Also, thanks! It actually makes for a good conversation topic in interviews. I had an interviewer who was fascinated that we could take swabs from the monkeys without needing to sedate them. I spent 15 minutes describing the precise behavioral shaping involved in getting a monkey to present her vagina for swabbing.

And no, no passion for monkey vag here.

Does it have something to do with pounding bass and a funky rhythm?

 

[rhesuspieces]

Does it have something to do with pounding bass and a funky rhythm?

R. Kelly and lots of mood lighting, actually.

 

[IHOPness]

R. Kelly and lots of mood lighting, actually.

I guess that you can't blame the monkeys.

 

[FlowRate]

R. Kelly and lots of mood lighting, actually.

Ah I bet that helps with ease of.. the procedure.

 

[Kaustikos]

Also do I need to go to Harvard to get into med school?

I think you need to graduate with a 4.5 GPA in BioMedicalPhysical Engineering with a 50 MCAT to have a chance anywhere else BUT Harvard. What are your stats?

 

[StudyShy]

Unless you are playing around with monkeys, you aren't going to get into Harvard.

 

[Bravetown]

lol his MDapps says caucasian?

totally called it, boosh!

 

[dbeast]

Nobody has pointed out the spelling of the thread title... Pre-allo, I am dissapoint.

Ps sperrys are whack I ripped through mine in 1 day.

 

[n3xa]

I'll try my hardest to avoid putting myself in such a situation (unless she's hot), but a human vagina is less disgusting than a monkey vagina.

Why am I even typing this. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

*looks at MDapp profile... sees age*

AWWWWE YOURE SO CUTE I JUST WANNA GIVE YOU A HUG

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN MONKEY VAG SECRETIONS?!

I'd honestly prefer to take a human pap smear because at least human females don't try to steal the swab and eat it.

Actually I've never worked with monkeys (just rodents). Is it really all that different aside from the sample omnomnomnom? 😕

 

[NickNaylor]

I'll give you that.

Also, +10000 points to everybody for helping steer this thread in a direction Cole never could have anticipated.

I absolutely love where this thread went.

 

[Frazier]

I absolutely love where this thread went.

 

[gettheleadout]

I'm not sure about this. I would be willing to bet that they could improve your gait. The idea is when you run with cushioned shoes your body doesn't naturally correct itself to prevent injury to your heel/feet. This can lead to knee joint, hip, and back issues if you run enough. I completely buy into the hype and hope to get a pair in the near future, although, I won't be wearing them unless I'm running...

I ran into this a while back somewhere on SDN, and I did some research into the issue; while I don't want to debate this, I feel pretty secure in arguing that the claims made about Vibrams are unsupported.

Start here if you wanna look into this: http://www.podiatry-arena.com/podiatry-forum/showthread.php?t=43282

 

[Mbeas]

Really Cole the Troll? This is what you chose to contribute?

 

[gettheleadout]

Really Cole the Troll? This is what you chose to contribute?

lol clever 👍

By the way, people actually thought Cole looked like Lil Wayne? (even as much as being black?)

 

[KTownGT]

I didn't expect him to be whiter than me!

I want to see the rest of his legs. 😀

The first time that I watched a vaginal exam, a whole bunch of goop (way worse than monkey vag secretions) fell on the NP's leg when she took out the speculum. Like obs and gobs of it.

Officially the worst post on SDN.

 

[CougarMD]

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN MONKEY VAG SECRETIONS?!

I'd honestly prefer to take a human pap smear because at least human females don't try to steal the swab and eat it.

Officially my favorite post of the year.


Also....this thread made me laugh so hard I teared up.


Then...when I saw the puppet vomit post...I just got sad.

Way to make me feel every emotion in a single thread, SDN. You're better than a Pixar movie.

 

[Brasco888]

but I heard those "shoes" are amazing. True they're funky looking, but they're supposed to be great running shoes. I'm seriously thinking about getting a pair.

 

[wolverinepwns]

to track the menstrual cycles of the monkeys in our lab. You'd think we could just count from when they get their periods but nooooooooo, gotta get all up in that monkey vag and take samples.

My new FAVORITE quote.

 

[Mbeas]

I'm seriously thinking about getting a pair.

moi aussi

 

[NickNaylor]

lol clever 👍

By the way, people actually thought Cole looked like Lil Wayne? (even as much as being black?)

That's pretty freakin hilarious. I'm the exact opposite of what our good friend Wheezy looks like.

but I heard those "shoes" are amazing. True they're funky looking, but they're supposed to be great running shoes. I'm seriously thinking about getting a pair.

Get a pair. Admittedly they're expensive for what they are, but you're the kind of person that hates wearing tennis shoes but can't always wear sandals or flip flops (like me), you'll love them.

 

[Ursa]

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN MONKEY VAG SECRETIONS?!

I'd honestly prefer to take a human pap smear because at least human females don't try to steal the swab and eat it.

most of the time...

 

[Geekchick921]

Oh my God... I only saw the OP before and I'm SO glad I came back and read the rest of this thread.

EPIC MULTIQUOTE AHEAD!!!!

I hate feet. I can't stand feet. I'd rather deal with any other part of the human body. In fact, I regularly have to obtain vaginal swabs from monkeys and I would rather do that every day for the rest of my life than touch a foot.

I get the feeling this might become an issue during my clinical years....

lol his MDapps says caucasian?

Seriously guys, it's right there.

to track the menstrual cycles of the monkeys in our lab. You'd think we could just count from when they get their periods but nooooooooo, gotta get all up in that monkey vag and take samples.

🤣

I hope you get accepted just for the crap you went through for your app.

Agreed.

I approve of Mr. Ryan's face in that picture.

He kinda looks like trollface.

I'll try my hardest to avoid putting myself in such a situation (unless she's hot), but a human vagina is less disgusting than a monkey vagina.

Why am I even typing this. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

In general, I'd agree, but then there are infections...

I didn't expect him to be whiter than me!

I want to see the rest of his legs. 😀

The first time that I watched a vaginal exam, a whole bunch of goop (way worse than monkey vag secretions) fell on the NP's leg when she took out the speculum. Like obs and gobs of it.

I'm pretty sure I'm pastier than Cole... and I also don't think he has cankles at all.

Also...

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN MONKEY VAG SECRETIONS?!

I'd honestly prefer to take a human pap smear because at least human females don't try to steal the swab and eat it.

😆 In the "Things I learned from my patients" thread in the EM forum there's at least one post about someone pulling a crack pipe out of their vag and eating it.

R. Kelly and lots of mood lighting, actually.

Wait... really? *Dead*

I absolutely love where this thread went.

Word.

I LOVE THIS PICTURE! Saving it...

Officially my favorite post of the year.


Also....this thread made me laugh so hard I teared up.


Then...when I saw the puppet vomit post...I just got sad.

Way to make me feel every emotion in a single thread, SDN. You're better than a Pixar movie.

👍 👍

My new FAVORITE quote.

I think you need to add it to the list in your sig.

 

[StudyShy]

Whoa! That was the longest multi-post ever! 🙂

 

[VikingLegacy]

.

 

[Kaustikos]

This thread delivers! I want a pair

 

[StudyShy]

I want this pair. If I can get some finger socks, I could wear them at work. Of course, I will have to have matching clothing.

This is up there with the spring shoes.

 

[rhesuspieces]

Now I feel like going to some other forum, finding the longest thread there and quoting/replying every single post in that thread in one giant multipost that takes up ten screens. Repeat for every thread over 30 posts.

Good troll tactic y/n?

Better idea: Go to some other forum, find the longest thread there, and multiquote all the posts in THIS thread. Spread the joy of freaky toe shoes and monkey gynecology.

 

[Kaustikos]

Better idea: Go to some other forum, find the longest thread there, and multiquote all the posts in THIS thread. Spread the joy of freaky toe shoes and monkey gynecology.

And see if they can decipher wtf we were really discussing

 

[FloridaMedicine]

Better idea: Go to some other forum, find the longest thread there, and multiquote all the posts in THIS thread. Spread the joy of freaky toe shoes and monkey gynecology.

lol