Can doctors also be friends to patients?

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nekrogg

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I am typing my personal statement right now. I dedicated a portion of my essay to my experiences with getting to know patient better in my volunteer position. Is it wrong to say that doctors can also be friends? It may seem silly but the reason why i ask this is because i saw on greys anatomy that doctors arent supposed to be that friendly to patients and that its a conflict of roles. I forget which episode but the ob/gyn surgeon (mcdreamy's wife) tried to teach lizzy to distance herself from patients with a little lesson, by making her take care of a baby that had almost a 0% chance of survival.

anyone have any feedback for me? 🙂
 
nekrogg said:
I am typing my personal statement right now. I dedicated a portion of my essay to my experiences with getting to know patient better in my volunteer position. Is it wrong to say that doctors can also be friends? It may seem silly but the reason why i ask this is because i saw on greys anatomy that doctors arent supposed to be that friendly to patients and that its a conflict of roles. I forget which episode but the ob/gyn surgeon (mcdreamy's wife) tried to teach lizzy to distance herself from patients with a little lesson, by making her take care of a baby that had almost a 0% chance of survival.

anyone have any feedback for me? 🙂


Getting to know your patients and being personable is a great thing. However, I think you may be going a little far by saying that you are friends with them. Focussing on your dedication to the patient is a good way to get your point across. I just worry that if you make bold statements like you are building friendships with people you know for very short periods of time, you may not be taken so seriously. Try not to make overly bold statements. You might have a great personal statement and say one out of whack thing that makes the reader say "what is this guy talking about?" You can certainly put this in your personal statement but I would reconsider the way you are framing it. Good luck!
 
nekrogg said:
Is it wrong to say that doctors can also be friends? It may seem silly but the reason why i ask this is because i saw on greys anatomy that doctors arent supposed to be that friendly to patients and that its a conflict of roles.

anyone have any feedback for me? 🙂

I don't know about your PS, but the conflict of roles idea is nonsense, in my opinion.

I am very close friends socially/personally with most of my own doctors (eg GP, surgeon, my kids' pediatrician, and even my ob-gyn...). I recently needed the services of 2 specialists who were strangers to me, and only trusted them to mess with me after they became "friends" or were under the watchful eye of friends.

I do think it would be a conflict for my husband, lover, father, or brother to operate on me for more than minor things, and I don't think every patient need their MD to be their buddy. But there's a big world of wiggle room between being "Dr x" and "honey." 😉 Just hit the sweetspot and you and your pt will be happy... and you'll be a lot less likely to be sued. 😉
 
I think it is possible...but just depends on the area/type of speciality. Being a Doctor's son from a smallish midwestern town I was friends with most of the other doctors I went to, or their kids. We were on a first name basis, they came to my graduation party and everything. I mean..for me it is a bit of a different circumstance but it is possible. It is good to not get like super attached if you are in a field where you see tons and tons of people or god forbid they die for whatever reason..that could really run one down but family practice in a small town..why not?
 
I'd like to think all physicians are friends with their patients...

Physicians often get invited to a patient's home to have dinner with their family, and if the wife is a good cook, then go! 🙂
 
The question should be, "Should doctors be friends with patients?" Maybe it depends on the closeness of the friendship but for very close friends, the issue becomes somewhat like treating members of your own family.

Sometimes, a very close friend may not be completely candid about symptoms or exposures particularly as they related to drug use, addiction and sexual promiscuity.

There are issues of boundaries, of the unequal power relationship in medicine, and instances where friendships can cloud good judgment (could you keep your mind open to the possibility that the cough your friend has could be lung cancer or will you go on treating it as if it is just bronchitis because you can't bear the thought that it could be a serious, life threatening problem). Also, what happens to the friendship if an error is made, or if the patient decides to obtain care elsewhere.

You can be friendly with patients without being friends. That means that you can remember (or write down) things about them so that when they come back for an office visit in September you can ask if they vacationed again this year at the shore or if they enjoyed the trip to Memphis but that is not the same as friendship.
 
LizzyM said:
The question should be, "Should doctors be friends with patients?" Maybe it depends on the closeness of the friendship but for very close friends, the issue becomes somewhat like treating members of your own family.

Sometimes, a very close friend may not be completely candid about symptoms or exposures particularly as they related to drug use, addiction and sexual promiscuity.

There are issues of boundaries, of the unequal power relationship in medicine, and instances where friendships can cloud good judgment (could you keep your mind open to the possibility that the cough your friend has could be lung cancer or will you go on treating it as if it is just bronchitis because you can't bear the thought that it could be a serious, life threatening problem). Also, what happens to the friendship if an error is made, or if the patient decides to obtain care elsewhere.

You can be friendly with patients without being friends. That means that you can remember (or write down) things about them so that when they come back for an office visit in September you can ask if they vacationed again this year at the shore or if they enjoyed the trip to Memphis but that is not the same as friendship.
I agree. Nice Response 👍
 
The physician that wrote my LOR has personal relationships with some of her patients. And by that I mean that they email each other, go out to lunch occassionally, and generally keep in touch. They're not best friends, and I doubt they confide super-personal stuff to each other, but it's definitely more then just patient-doctor contact.
 
nekrogg said:
I am typing my personal statement right now. I dedicated a portion of my essay to my experiences with getting to know patient better in my volunteer position. Is it wrong to say that doctors can also be friends? It may seem silly but the reason why i ask this is because i saw on greys anatomy that doctors arent supposed to be that friendly to patients and that its a conflict of roles. I forget which episode but the ob/gyn surgeon (mcdreamy's wife) tried to teach lizzy to distance herself from patients with a little lesson, by making her take care of a baby that had almost a 0% chance of survival.

anyone have any feedback for me? 🙂

I've heard that some medical schools are making that show part of the curriculum - replacing the "practice of medicine" classes that most schools have. I know for a fact that a few of the Ivy League schools are doign this.
 
nekrogg said:
I am typing my personal statement right now. I dedicated a portion of my essay to my experiences with getting to know patient better in my volunteer position. Is it wrong to say that doctors can also be friends? It may seem silly but the reason why i ask this is because i saw on greys anatomy that doctors arent supposed to be that friendly to patients and that its a conflict of roles. I forget which episode but the ob/gyn surgeon (mcdreamy's wife) tried to teach lizzy to distance herself from patients with a little lesson, by making her take care of a baby that had almost a 0% chance of survival.

anyone have any feedback for me? 🙂

You need to stop basing your decisions on a TV show. If you go through this process using Dr. House, the people from Grey's Anatomy, and the team on ER as your models, you are in for some painful suprises (medicine is not that glamorous). This is all fiction, and while you might find it entertaining, it should not dictate your choices.
 
Doglover4fever said:
You need to stop basing your decisions on a TV show. If you go through this process using Dr. House, the people from Grey's Anatomy, and the team on ER as your models, you are in for some painful suprises (medicine is not that glamorous). This is all fiction, and while you might find it entertaining, it should not dictate your choices.


haha wow, way to beat a dead horse. if you read my prompt, i was having doubts that the tv show was right (reading comprehension is obviously not your forte; does it make you feel powerful to tell me that medicine isnt glamorous?). but since the scripters probably have doctors on speed dial, there may be a sliver of truth in the message sent.

thank you lizzy for the candid response 👍
 
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