Can relationships be started/maintained in med school?

[Arky]

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I've recently been accepted to med school, and I want to ask everyone's opinion on this topic. Is it worth getting into a relationship in the summer before medical school and/or during medical school? I know it's going to be a lot of work and more than anything I've ever done before... but I'd like to hear any first-hand stories about how things have worked out.

Why I'm asking... I'm finishing my undergrad away from home (where I'm also going to med school), and I've been single for a while mainly because of the fact that I'm moving back home soon and don't want to get into anything that would be long-distance. I'd like to be in a relationship at some point when I'm back home and everything, but I'm worried about how it would fare once school started/getting into something during school. Stories? Opinions?

 

[thepoopologist]

If you end up constantly borderline and in danger of failing every test while single, then no.

Otherwise yes.

Still, I think this is something you think about after the fact.

 

[jdh71]

Lots of people get married in medical school and residency, and maintain happy healthy relationships. Lots of people don't.

I wouldn't really worry about it. The universe unfolds as it does - nothing you can do about it (really)

 

[startswithb]

I just ended my over 2 year relationship, and I started medical school in August. I thought we were rock solid before I started, but the distance and the fact that I was happy and focused without him made it easier to see where our relationship was deficient. I really wanted to be single and focus on my own life, my career, planning summer research or residency goals with only my own happiness in mind. I knew he probably needed to move on without me, too. He was on a solid career trajectory in a city that was a place I would probably never be in. Coincidentally or not, 2 other of my classmates had the same change of heart with their long distance significant others within the same week.

Can you make it work? Only if you want to. Only if they are the RIGHT PERSON. If they are not, it's not worth it to hold on to something that could potentially hold you back. Even the thought of doing a couple's match with someone bothers me right now. I'm just not ready to settle down.

In all, I do not think medical school was the reason we are not together. I think it just helped highlight the issues that were already there. If he was "the guy," I may have wanted to include him in my new life and career plans. It just wasn't the guy or the time for me to make those decisions.

 

[ar2388]

definitely relationship dependent. been together 7yrs now and i am in my 3rd yr of med school. but we have been living together for about 4.5 yrs and that really really helps.

 

[OveractiveBrain]

I've recently been accepted to med school, and I want to ask everyone's opinion on this topic. Is it worth getting into a relationship in the summer before medical school and/or during medical school? I know it's going to be a lot of work and more than anything I've ever done before... but I'd like to hear any first-hand stories about how things have worked out.

Why I'm asking... I'm finishing my undergrad away from home (where I'm also going to med school), and I've been single for a while mainly because of the fact that I'm moving back home soon and don't want to get into anything that would be long-distance. I'd like to be in a relationship at some point when I'm back home and everything, but I'm worried about how it would fare once school started/getting into something during school. Stories? Opinions?

I am currently living with my girlfriend (we are both interns). We had a rocky relationship in medical school that started in medical school. There were many times where we were going to end it. You must be committed to each other and expect that fuses will be short.

Its a concept of the emotional battery. When things are chillin, there is no stress, your battery fills. Then, over the course of days or weeks, things start to drain your battery. You get a speeding ticket, you start studying for a test, you have long days on teh wards. Medical school is hard. You will work. Alot. There will be days when you come home and you DO NOT want to play into the wants and desires of your signifcant other. Your battery is drained. Small things she does really bother you. It will be the other way too. If you both identify this flaw BEFORE starting a serious relationship, set expectations for one another, it can be very fulfilling.

Bottom line. Yes you can do it. It will be hard. Unless you are the doctor and your girlfriend is a hot aerobics instructor looking for gold. Then you just gotta promise a great future while you eat TV dinners together.

 

[Sheldor]

Then you just gotta promise a great future while you eat TV dinners together.

SO true. This has happened many times the last few years with my lovely wife.

 

[cbrons]

I've recently been accepted to med school, and I want to ask everyone's opinion on this topic. Is it worth getting into a relationship in the summer before medical school and/or during medical school? I know it's going to be a lot of work and more than anything I've ever done before... but I'd like to hear any first-hand stories about how things have worked out.

Why I'm asking... I'm finishing my undergrad away from home (where I'm also going to med school), and I've been single for a while mainly because of the fact that I'm moving back home soon and don't want to get into anything that would be long-distance. I'd like to be in a relationship at some point when I'm back home and everything, but I'm worried about how it would fare once school started/getting into something during school. Stories? Opinions?

Yeah relationships can survive med school, don't listen to the nay sayers. Before I started, I thought it would be really difficult. On the contrary, it really helps to have someone there for you.

 

[JohnCarterIIIDO]

I think Dr. Cox covers this one pretty thoroughly - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IINn0UatJPE&feature=related

 

[jdh71]

Yeah relationships can survive med school, don't listen to the nay sayers. Before I started, I thought it would be really difficult. On the contrary, it really helps to have someone there for you.

give it time . . .

 

[Asp]

Depends on whether you are a girl or a guy.

If you're a girl, relationships are super important. Your marketplace value is at a premium during these years. Sell high. Don't wait until your thirties.

If you're a guy, relationships are optional. If you have time and are getting good sex go for it. Just don't do something financially risky like marrying the girl unless you are sure she's going to be making as much as you will 20 years down the line.

 

[cbrons]

Lots of people get married in medical school and residency, and maintain happy healthy relationships. Lots of people don't.

I wouldn't really worry about it. The universe unfolds as it does - nothing you can do about it (really)

give it time . . .

lol jdh the fatalist!!!


🙁

 

[Arky]

Thanks y'all!

I hope to find a great girl when I move back home and then start school, and will keep all this in mind throughout. It seems like from what a lot I've read about what life will be like in med school that anything is possible with proper time management and prioritization, at least for the first two years...

OveractiveBrain - the battery analogy made a lot of sense to me

startswithb - your insight says a lot

jdh - love the snoop dog reference about that khakis with a cuff and a crease!