We had an unexpected family tragedy recently and my fiance is not willing to move with me to the advanced program. And I have to stay with the whole family. Can I find another program in my city that happens to have an opening? Is it against the NRMP regulation? Is there any way around? Please share with me your thoughts.
Can switch my advacned program?
- Thread starter synmaster
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Are you a current PGY-1? Or have you already matched to an early match? Or are you looking down the line at switching out of an advanced program you haven't even matched to yet?
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Yes you can. What you need to do is talk to your program director (advance program) and talk to him about your situation. Maybe he can call the open program and put a good word for you.
Keep in mind that the "family emergency" needs to be a true emergency. It cant just be "wife doesnt want to move out-of-town with me" etc. The PD doesnt have to let you go, but who wants an unhappy resident? Again, I think it will come down to: what is your family emergency?
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You need to contact your program director right away and explain the situation. No PD would keep you under contract given your scenario (and if they do, you dont want to be there anyway.) He/she can even help you get into a program to a program near your desired location. Just be honest and upfront and they will help you.
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I don't think the NRMP regs are really an issue here.
The person whom you are supposed to marry and function as a single family has thrown a grenade into your career plans. That is not necessarily to fault him/her - there are things that are more important than career. The question here is whether you think your fiancee's actions were reasonable. If they were not, you need to reconsider the relationship. If they were, the NRMP regs don't matter. You're not going to move and the chips fall where they may.
The person whom you are supposed to marry and function as a single family has thrown a grenade into your career plans. That is not necessarily to fault him/her - there are things that are more important than career. The question here is whether you think your fiancee's actions were reasonable. If they were not, you need to reconsider the relationship. If they were, the NRMP regs don't matter. You're not going to move and the chips fall where they may.
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This is what the NRMP's waiver process is for -- unforseen events which change your plans. If you really want to get out of your match, you need to follow the NRMP's rules regarding a waiver -- they are described on their website. You should also alert your PGY-2 program (the waiver process will do so, but I think it's better if the notification comes from you).
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Agreed- resentment isn't something one should carry into a marriage. If you feel wronged and don't think you can forgive, you may want to call it quits, lest you harbor animosity for the rest of your relationship and end up unhappy personally and professionally.
