Choosing workload now and for the future

[thomasyorke]

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With my 1st year of med school winding down, I've come to a few realizations.

1. Studying is a bottomless pit. In college I always shot for a 95-100% on tests because it was attainable without giant sacrifices. In med school there's no end in sight.

2. I don't know what specialty I want, therefore I don't know how competitive I need to be.

3. In interviewing for research positions for the summer, I've noticed I can't match the intensity and desire of other students. Do they really care about research that much? Is it all a dog and pony show?

Basically, I study hard and try to fake interest in research for the sake of competition and improving my residency chances.

Will matching into a more competitive residency or ROAD specialty eventually lower my workload and stress? Or does high achievement/workload/stress just perpetuate itself?

My drive to study is based on a vision of the future where I have less stress and enjoy my work. Am I totally misguided?

 

[st2205]

With my 1st year of med school winding down, I've come to a few realizations.

1. Studying is a bottomless pit. In college I always shot for a 95-100% on tests because it was attainable without giant sacrifices. In med school there's no end in sight.

2. I don't know what specialty I want, therefore I don't know how competitive I need to be.

3. In interviewing for research positions for the summer, I've noticed I can't match the intensity and desire of other students. Do they really care about research that much? Is it all a dog and pony show?

Basically, I study hard and try to fake interest in research for the sake of competition and improving my residency chances.

Will matching into a more competitive residency or ROAD specialty eventually lower my workload and stress? Or does high achievement/workload/stress just perpetuate itself?

My drive to study is based on a vision of the future where I have less stress and enjoy my work. Am I totally misguided?

Fellow first year, but the thing I realized a few months ago is that the only reason I will study hard to get good grades on tests is so that I don't have the feeling, as I did in first quarter, that at the end of the term I better remember a lot of material or it's within the realm of possibility to fail.

Above that, for me at least, I've come to realize it's not worth it... a bottomless pit, as you mentioned.

 

[da8s0859q]

With my 1st year of med school winding down, I've come to a few realizations.

1. Studying is a bottomless pit. In college I always shot for a 95-100% on tests because it was attainable without giant sacrifices. In med school there's no end in sight.

2. I don't know what specialty I want, therefore I don't know how competitive I need to be.

3. In interviewing for research positions for the summer, I've noticed I can't match the intensity and desire of other students. Do they really care about research that much? Is it all a dog and pony show?

Basically, I study hard and try to fake interest in research for the sake of competition and improving my residency chances.

Will matching into a more competitive residency or ROAD specialty eventually lower my workload and stress? Or does high achievement/workload/stress just perpetuate itself?

My drive to study is based on a vision of the future where I have less stress and enjoy my work. Am I totally misguided?

I know how you feel. Med school is just a different breed; as far as where you need to be rank-wise, well, that's up to you to decide.

But as far as #3 goes, while I'm sure that some people genuinely have a thing for research... I'm not one of them. And I doubt that I'm the only one.

fwiw, I don't think it's misguided at all for you to not want to spend every waking moment of your post-medical school life with your nose to the grindstone, laboring over something you don't enjoy.

 

[thomasyorke]

i wish i could know now whether being a doctor is like being in medical school. I feel like I've been pushing hard my whole life in order to get to that awesome lifestyle ahead.

I guess I'm just tired of competition

 

[ElisaBailey]

You want to do well no matter what specialty you choose because it could mean the difference between residency programs... And you're not just learning all that physio and histo to compete, you're also doing it because you have to or else you won't know how to take care of patients when you need to. It's easier to motivate yourself to study when you know why you're doing it. In undergrad it was purely for competition and here it's for a very real reason.

Don't do research if you don't want to. But there's a TON of different types of research out there. Shop around and look for at least a TYPE of research that you find semi-interesting. Doesn't have to be specific. e.g. Do you want to look at patient's scarring outcome after surgery? I think even a layman might find that topic interesting. But if you seriously have not curiosity then don't do it, use the time to go abroad or do something else that's interesting and engaging and refreshing.

Hope that helps.

I hope you're just having a bad day and you're not feeling like this chronically...

EB

 

[ucsfstudents]

Research is important for competitive specialties. When it comes to studying, you get out what you put in, but there comes a time when the return is minimal. To be the very best, you have to continue to work hard and make sacrifices. Only you can decide when enough is enough, at which point you can just relax and live life happily and be OK with the fact that there is someone better and more competitive than you. Good luck! 🙂

 

[st2205]

And you're not just learning all that physio and histo to compete, you're also doing it because you have to or else you won't know how to take care of patients when you need to.

The difference between an 80% and a 90% is memorization of minutiae with no clinical applicability. Whether someone ambitious enough to shoot for those 90s would be more ambitious to better learn how to take care of patients is another story, but the clinical difference relative to pre-clinical grades alone is negligible, in my opinion.

 

[Law2Doc]

...
My drive to study is based on a vision of the future where I have less stress and enjoy my work. Am I totally misguided?

Yes, I'm afraid you are. You picked a profession that is not stress free, where not knowing enough carries real liability/malpractice, and continuing to learn and keep up with your trade is an expectation, and there's a culture and reimbursement pay mechanism that rewards extremely hard workers. If you wanted no stress you probably should have avoided the professions altogether and gotten a 9-5 "job".

If you haven't decided what field you are interested in, you really owe it to yourself to find time to do some soul searching,shadowing and talking to folks in various fields to try and iron that out soon. Shooting for whatever is least stressful won't make you happy in the long run -- this is going to be your trade for the next 40 years, and you are going to be expected to do it all day long and read about new developments in this field in your spare time, so you'd better like it or your life will suck. If you find something you are really excited about, and can throw yourself into, your attitude probably will improve. Also bear in mind that first year is really the "foundation" year. For most, the subject matter gets more interesting in the subsequent years. Not less time consuming or stressful necessarily, but more interesting.

Most of your classmates are not "faking it" -- many have found what they are interested in and are pursuing that. You should too. Research for most is an interesting, chill way to spend a summer. I'd have to say that for every person in med school who feigned interest in a subject/topic, there were quite a few more (probably most) who actually had interest. I mean, med school is not mandatory (nor is research) -- you only go there for a reason. If you don't want to be a doctor, and all that entails, you don't go. If you went to med school for any reason other than being genuinely interested in pursuing this career, you would, and should, be miserable here. Don't try and pawn it off on classmates also being fakes in expressing interest -- I suspect it's really just you who put yourself in a bad place.

Every now and then someone makes it well into med school or beyond before they realize they simply have no interest in being a doctor, no interest in healthcare topics, etc. it happens. And at that point the smartest thing to do might be to figure out where you belong fast and cut your losses. Because the worst thing in the world would be to have to fake interest, do a half *****ed job, and try to avoid medmal your whole life, working long hours at something you don't enjoy, simply because you put yourself onto a road you have no interest in. Take it from a career changer -- you have many choices in life and lots of opportunity to put yourself on the road you belong.

Now I'm not saying this is necessarily you, but I'm saying now is the time to figure it out, before you get in too deep.

 

[njbmd]

i wish i could know now whether being a doctor is like being in medical school. I feel like I've been pushing hard my whole life in order to get to that awesome lifestyle ahead.

I guess I'm just tired of competition

There is quite a bit of studying and reading that takes place in the practice of medicine. As an academic attending physician, I read about 30-35 journals per week in addition to my practice workload. I also spend more time that I would like on paperwork but getting this stuff done is a necessity as I like being paid for my work.

The one thing that does happen in medical school is that you find a study/reading method that works and you get more efficient. You see this most during second year and then your workload alters during third year to more of what residency and practice will entail. It was actually during my PGY-1 (intern) year that I realized how efficient my reading and study skills had become.

I also do things like keep reading materials handy for wait times between cases, waiting for patients to arrive and waiting for dinner to cook in the evenings. I always have something with me to read or study for those empty times. I keep something with me to read on the treadmill/stair climber too (have to put the journal down when I lift weights). In short, utilize those little 5 and 10-minute periods that occur during the day to get short bursts of materials mastered.

The worst part of first year is that it's a hypertrophic representation of what you did as an undergraduate. In order to not become "dragged" down by the sheer volume of materials, you have to find the balance between efficiency and mastery. This might not come until the end of second year but second year is infinitely more interesting because you actually start to get more clinical exposure (different manner of learning than just sitting and studying).

I wouldn't start anguishing about future practice and what it will be like after one year of medical school. I can actually say that medical school is not remotely similar to how I practice today though residency was. The biggest similarity between medical school and practice is that I am only in competition with myself. What others do has nothing to do with my performance.

 

[turkeyjerky]

3. In interviewing for research positions for the summer, I've noticed I can't match the intensity and desire of other students. Do they really care about research that much? Is it all a dog and pony show?

One thing I've learned is that most med students are masters at faking positivity. It really sends a chill up my spine.

 

[thesauce]

With my 1st year of med school winding down, I've come to a few realizations.

1. Studying is a bottomless pit. In college I always shot for a 95-100% on tests because it was attainable without giant sacrifices. In med school there's no end in sight.

2. I don't know what specialty I want, therefore I don't know how competitive I need to be.

3. In interviewing for research positions for the summer, I've noticed I can't match the intensity and desire of other students. Do they really care about research that much? Is it all a dog and pony show?

Basically, I study hard and try to fake interest in research for the sake of competition and improving my residency chances.

Will matching into a more competitive residency or ROAD specialty eventually lower my workload and stress? Or does high achievement/workload/stress just perpetuate itself?

My drive to study is based on a vision of the future where I have less stress and enjoy my work. Am I totally misguided?

1. To each his own. I shot for the top because of the challenge. Some just aren't willing to do this, and that's totally understandable.

2. Then you're in the same boat as 90% of your classmates. It'll come to you in time.

3. It's a little of both. Some love research, some like it, and some despise it. Within those groups, there are people that sell themselves better than others to attain a research position.

The competition will always be there, but your approach to it may change. You'll see many go from "I want to know everything" to "I just want to pass." You may also also experience a change from "I want to reach that next step/level/achievement" to "I'm comfortable where I am."

One thing is for sure though, 1st year sucks and things will improve from where you are right now. Good luck.

 

[thomasyorke]

Thanks to everyone for all the insightful answers.

Do you guys get the sense that your life is "on hold" during school?

I just keep waiting for real life to happen but I think it's starting to hit me that this is it.

 

[da8s0859q]

Thanks to everyone for all the insightful answers.

Do you guys get the sense that your life is "on hold" during school?

I just keep waiting for real life to happen but I think it's starting to hit me that this is it.

No, I just get the sense that our lives aren't quite like those of other, more sane, people. 🙂

 

[VoiceofReason]

One thing I've learned is that most med students are masters at faking positivity. It really sends a chill up my spine.

when i listen to other people describe their extracurriculars with enthusiasm in my head i am almost reeling. They're so good at it that it is literally impossible to tell if they're feigning.

they make me feel like a bum and sometimes like i don't even deserve to be here for not wanting to spend my free time driving to the inner city high humidity high school to teach some teenagers that mammalian hearts have four chambers.

 

[OpalOnyx]

You want to do well no matter what specialty you choose because it could mean the difference between residency programs... And you're not just learning all that physio and histo to compete, you're also doing it because you have to or else you won't know how to take care of patients when you need to. It's easier to motivate yourself to study when you know why you're doing it. In undergrad it was purely for competition and here it's for a very real reason.

Don't do research if you don't want to. But there's a TON of different types of research out there. Shop around and look for at least a TYPE of research that you find semi-interesting. Doesn't have to be specific. e.g. Do you want to look at patient's scarring outcome after surgery? I think even a layman might find that topic interesting. But if you seriously have not curiosity then don't do it, use the time to go abroad or do something else that's interesting and engaging and refreshing.

I really enjoyed reading this. My life has become much better once I put studying in perspective. I now study to learn and I study in order to treat patients. I'm happy as long as I try my best...really, how much more can anyone do. Success will follow and your class rank will fall into place based on your personal best. The best way to compete, in my opinion, is to compete against yourself.

 

[twostep376]

Yes, I'm afraid you are. You picked a profession that is not stress free, where not knowing enough carries real liability/malpractice, and continuing to learn and keep up with your trade is an expectation, and there's a culture and reimbursement pay mechanism that rewards extremely hard workers. If you wanted no stress you probably should have avoided the professions altogether and gotten a 9-5 "job".

If you haven't decided what field you are interested in, you really owe it to yourself to find time to do some soul searching,shadowing and talking to folks in various fields to try and iron that out soon. Shooting for whatever is least stressful won't make you happy in the long run -- this is going to be your trade for the next 40 years, and you are going to be expected to do it all day long and read about new developments in this field in your spare time, so you'd better like it or your life will suck. If you find something you are really excited about, and can throw yourself into, your attitude probably will improve. Also bear in mind that first year is really the "foundation" year. For most, the subject matter gets more interesting in the subsequent years. Not less time consuming or stressful necessarily, but more interesting.

Most of your classmates are not "faking it" -- many have found what they are interested in and are pursuing that. You should too. Research for most is an interesting, chill way to spend a summer. I'd have to say that for every person in med school who feigned interest in a subject/topic, there were quite a few more (probably most) who actually had interest. I mean, med school is not mandatory (nor is research) -- you only go there for a reason. If you don't want to be a doctor, and all that entails, you don't go. If you went to med school for any reason other than being genuinely interested in pursuing this career, you would, and should, be miserable here. Don't try and pawn it off on classmates also being fakes in expressing interest -- I suspect it's really just you who put yourself in a bad place.

Every now and then someone makes it well into med school or beyond before they realize they simply have no interest in being a doctor, no interest in healthcare topics, etc. it happens. And at that point the smartest thing to do might be to figure out where you belong fast and cut your losses. Because the worst thing in the world would be to have to fake interest, do a half *****ed job, and try to avoid medmal your whole life, working long hours at something you don't enjoy, simply because you put yourself onto a road you have no interest in. Take it from a career changer -- you have many choices in life and lots of opportunity to put yourself on the road you belong.

Now I'm not saying this is necessarily you, but I'm saying now is the time to figure it out, before you get in too deep.

I really enjoy your posts. Just wanted to let you know 👍

 

[aggie08]

Thanks to everyone for all the insightful answers.

Do you guys get the sense that your life is "on hold" during school?

I just keep waiting for real life to happen but I think it's starting to hit me that this is it.

In a sense "life may be on hold," but it's just perspective. Some peoples lives are on hold because they had a baby very young and are waiting for said baby to be in school so that they continue working on their career, while still being an involved parent.

Our lives may "be on hold" because we are working on our career and then doing family-things.

Others are having families and working on their career (one of our first years is about a month away from having her first baby - you don't have to do things the way others do them). It's all about perspective. Your life is never on hold, you are simply taking a life path that is different from many others. You have to learn how to balance what you consider life with what you need to do for medical school. Figure out what is right for you and do it, don't pay attention to what others are doing. You have to live your life now or you will eventually regret it. Life and med school are not mutually exclusive.

Oh, and I hate research, too. Hate it. I refuse to do research over the summer. However, I also am interested in fields with less competition. I guess if I become interested in ortho or something, too bad - my undergrad research was medically related and relevant and still the bane of my existence at the time. I just can't bring myself to do that anymore.