confused- need help for personal statement

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AGS

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so I thought i was almost done and ready to esubmit my application. but then i decided to show it to my dentist once before submission. I found out that it is totally wrong. now i am stuck and confused. please can anyone suggest what to write in the first paragraph?
 
so I thought i was almost done and ready to esubmit my application. but then i decided to show it to my dentist once before submission. I found out that it is totally wrong. now i am stuck and confused. please can anyone suggest what to write in the first paragraph?

why did he say its wrong?😕
 
he said i would change it totally. u don't need to write this. I am so depressed now. I think i have to write it all over again :scared:
 
Okay, you need to be more specific. A personal statement can begin any way you want it to, really, as long as it goes through your motivations for becoming a dentist, and what skills you possess or experiences you've had that amplify this motivation.
 
My dentist said that when he talked to an adcom member, the most memorable personal statement started by the person writing about how they worked in a crematorium as a summer job for her father. Idk how unique your experiences have been, but maybe start writing about a summer job and how it has made an impact on you? Just an idea, I'm sure some people have taken this approach and I'm sure some would think I'm crazy for posting this. :laugh:
 
My dentist said that when he talked to an adcom member, the most memorable personal statement started by the person writing about how they worked in a crematorium as a summer job for her father. Idk how unique your experiences have been, but maybe start writing about a summer job and how it has made an impact on you? Just an idea, I'm sure some people have taken this approach and I'm sure some would think I'm crazy for posting this. :laugh:

That sounds interesting. Maybe it had something to do with how they remove gold crowns and the like before cremating a body. Who knows. 😵
 
I started with a paragraph on how I had a sort of revelation that Dentistry was in fact what I wanted to pursue whole heartedly. I told the first paragraph like a novel then went into "about me" stuff. If you're dying you can send It to me in a PM and Ill check it out and make suggestions. Or I can send you mine if you want an idea.
 
I already submitted mine and I was readying yesterday to prepare for interviews and I found a typo :scared: . That is the worst!! That and now I am feeling its kind of weak. I hope this doesn't wreck my chances!
 
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