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- Mar 25, 2003
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Hi everyone,
I have always enjoyed this forum. I'm a long-time lurker and infrequent poster. It seems I only post when I'm in trouble or trying to make some huge career decision. OK, so right now is another one of those times.
You read the title correctly- I am considering leaving path. Why? It's not that I don't think path is a good specialty (and I don't want to discourage anyone going into it). I could try to list all my reasons, but more than anything it is just a gut feeling that this is not where I belong. Back in 4th year med school, I thought I was pretty sure of my choice. I found the material interesting and felt it was something I could keep always learning more of and never get bored of. Now, looking back I think I chose path almost purely for selfish reasons, which now seem pretty empty and meaningless. Obviously the lifestyle is good, and compared to other specialties you are reimbursed pretty well for your time, and you have quite a bit more free time compared to almost every other specialty out there- etc... Time is one of the most valuable commodities in my life and this was one of the biggest factors for me... Like I said, all selfish reasons.
Now, 1.6 years into residency, I'm just not getting the juice out of it that I thought I would. I'm finally waking up and facing this personal reality: I feel I sold out going into path, for the wrong reasons. I realize there are a lot of people who really enjoy being at the scope for hours every day. I'm not one of them! It's not that I don't think I could do it, I just don't want to anymore! If I'm this bored now how will I feel 10 years from now? I also feel patients deserve to have their slides read by someone who really DOES have a passion for the work and who truly enjoys being a pathologist. My conscience is getting the better of me, because I know that's not me!
The one single rotation where I felt more at home was TM. I actually enjoyed seeing patients for plasma exchanges, apheresis, etc. I like the heat-of-the-moment decision making of a massive transfusion/ trauma case, etc. I like working with anesthesiologists and (most) surgeons. I like antibody workups and solving other TM issues that come up. I am one of the few people who doesn't mind taking overnight TM call every now and then.
I guess I didn't realize how much I would miss working with people face-to-face. Prior to med school I worked with athletes as a trainer and coach (I know, far cry from path- are you starting to see why I feel I don't belong?) So why didn't I go into ortho you say? I considered it, until I realized what HELL any surgery residency is. No thanks - like I said, I value my time too much. I have thought (and still think) about Family Medicine or Emergency Med, with a sports med fellowship. Family Medicine was my favorite rotation in med school. I unfortunately never got the lucky draw to do a primary care sports med elective rotation. I shadowed one guy a few times who did it "on the side" in addition to his normal FM practice. He liked it a lot but I didn't want to do it only part time, if I did it. I guess I wasn't sure there would be a job for me if I went that route (although now I'm realizing there are jobs out there, and you can always "create" your own job in the right area with enough demand- something you don't find in path).
So what options do I have now? I could stick it out in AP/CP, but it would feel like torture and I would almost feel obligated to work at a job I know I don't want to do, just to pay back the loans, make the education worthwhile etc. I just don't want to do it!
I could quit medicine altogether and do something completely different (this thought has crossed my mind many times). But then there's the student loan issue, and I did have some genuine reasons for going into medicine to begin with. Have I wasted the last 2 years of my life? Or the last 6 years, including med school?
I could try to get an EM/ FM position outside of the match for July 2007, and go this route since I know I have an interest there, but I have no idea how to apply outside of ERAS and I think most programs use only ERAS. Talk about bad timing for me to be making this decision- interview season is almost over and the application deadline for the majority of programs was 2 months ago.
I could switch to CP only to shorten my track, then do a TM fellowship. I've already brought this up with my PD but this program is hard-core AP and I feel like it would be tough to get approval to do this. Also, from what I've seen on this board, there are far less TM jobs available compared to surg path/AP jobs, and they're limited to academics/ donor centers. Not sure if I would enjoy the research side of academics since I've had very little experience there. But like I said, TM is the one subspecialty that I could see myself enjoying long-term.
If anyone has any advice or suggestions, or knows anyone in a similiar situation, please share!
(P.S. anyone want a PGY-2 AP/CP spot if I end up quitting?)
I have always enjoyed this forum. I'm a long-time lurker and infrequent poster. It seems I only post when I'm in trouble or trying to make some huge career decision. OK, so right now is another one of those times.
You read the title correctly- I am considering leaving path. Why? It's not that I don't think path is a good specialty (and I don't want to discourage anyone going into it). I could try to list all my reasons, but more than anything it is just a gut feeling that this is not where I belong. Back in 4th year med school, I thought I was pretty sure of my choice. I found the material interesting and felt it was something I could keep always learning more of and never get bored of. Now, looking back I think I chose path almost purely for selfish reasons, which now seem pretty empty and meaningless. Obviously the lifestyle is good, and compared to other specialties you are reimbursed pretty well for your time, and you have quite a bit more free time compared to almost every other specialty out there- etc... Time is one of the most valuable commodities in my life and this was one of the biggest factors for me... Like I said, all selfish reasons.
Now, 1.6 years into residency, I'm just not getting the juice out of it that I thought I would. I'm finally waking up and facing this personal reality: I feel I sold out going into path, for the wrong reasons. I realize there are a lot of people who really enjoy being at the scope for hours every day. I'm not one of them! It's not that I don't think I could do it, I just don't want to anymore! If I'm this bored now how will I feel 10 years from now? I also feel patients deserve to have their slides read by someone who really DOES have a passion for the work and who truly enjoys being a pathologist. My conscience is getting the better of me, because I know that's not me!
The one single rotation where I felt more at home was TM. I actually enjoyed seeing patients for plasma exchanges, apheresis, etc. I like the heat-of-the-moment decision making of a massive transfusion/ trauma case, etc. I like working with anesthesiologists and (most) surgeons. I like antibody workups and solving other TM issues that come up. I am one of the few people who doesn't mind taking overnight TM call every now and then.
I guess I didn't realize how much I would miss working with people face-to-face. Prior to med school I worked with athletes as a trainer and coach (I know, far cry from path- are you starting to see why I feel I don't belong?) So why didn't I go into ortho you say? I considered it, until I realized what HELL any surgery residency is. No thanks - like I said, I value my time too much. I have thought (and still think) about Family Medicine or Emergency Med, with a sports med fellowship. Family Medicine was my favorite rotation in med school. I unfortunately never got the lucky draw to do a primary care sports med elective rotation. I shadowed one guy a few times who did it "on the side" in addition to his normal FM practice. He liked it a lot but I didn't want to do it only part time, if I did it. I guess I wasn't sure there would be a job for me if I went that route (although now I'm realizing there are jobs out there, and you can always "create" your own job in the right area with enough demand- something you don't find in path).
So what options do I have now? I could stick it out in AP/CP, but it would feel like torture and I would almost feel obligated to work at a job I know I don't want to do, just to pay back the loans, make the education worthwhile etc. I just don't want to do it!
I could quit medicine altogether and do something completely different (this thought has crossed my mind many times). But then there's the student loan issue, and I did have some genuine reasons for going into medicine to begin with. Have I wasted the last 2 years of my life? Or the last 6 years, including med school?
I could try to get an EM/ FM position outside of the match for July 2007, and go this route since I know I have an interest there, but I have no idea how to apply outside of ERAS and I think most programs use only ERAS. Talk about bad timing for me to be making this decision- interview season is almost over and the application deadline for the majority of programs was 2 months ago.
I could switch to CP only to shorten my track, then do a TM fellowship. I've already brought this up with my PD but this program is hard-core AP and I feel like it would be tough to get approval to do this. Also, from what I've seen on this board, there are far less TM jobs available compared to surg path/AP jobs, and they're limited to academics/ donor centers. Not sure if I would enjoy the research side of academics since I've had very little experience there. But like I said, TM is the one subspecialty that I could see myself enjoying long-term.
If anyone has any advice or suggestions, or knows anyone in a similiar situation, please share!
(P.S. anyone want a PGY-2 AP/CP spot if I end up quitting?)