Couples Clinical Match

[TankTuck]

I am just starting my second year and Was recently asked by my SO if we are going to couples match for rotations (matching in Oct). I'm an easy going guy who tends to do things last movement and haven't even considered this. I told her we'd talk about it soon. I honestly am split down the middle. This girl is awesome, loving and supportive but it almost feels like a forced engagement, at least for the next three years, if I say yes. I'm not sure if I am ready to make the commitment, but if I don't the relationship is as good as over. I know the decision is ultimately mine, but I was hoping others had like experiences that they could share. Thanks!

 

[Smurfette]

You can couples match for your med school rotations?

IMHO, if you are really not into this idea and aren't sure how committed you are to her long term, you shouldn't do it. Think of it this way---if you break up, you'd then be with her on all your rotations, which would be uncomfortable. How long have you guys been together? If it's a newer relationship, it's reasonable to take a "wait and see" approach.

 

[lymphocyte]

I am just starting my second year and Was recently asked by my SO if we are going to couples match for rotations (matching in Oct). I'm an easy going guy who tends to do things last movement and haven't even considered this. I told her we'd talk about it soon. I honestly am split down the middle. This girl is awesome, loving and supportive but it almost feels like a forced engagement, at least for the next three years, if I say yes. I'm not sure if I am ready to make the commitment, but if I don't the relationship is as good as over. I know the decision is ultimately mine, but I was hoping others had like experiences that they could share. Thanks!

Your options are either "a forced engagement for the next three years" or "the relationship is as good as over." Yet the girl is still "awesome, loving, and supportive." What? Something doesn't make sense here. Surely there's a middle ground.

"I don't want to mix my personal and my professional life. It could lead to a lot of unnecessary drama for reasons beyond either of our control. We can still stay together by doing X, Y, and Z." OR "Let's do it, but we need to set up some ground rules." It's tempting to go with the first option, but sometimes a keeper is a keeper and you gotta get over feeling ambivalent.

Either way, the answer can't just be "Yes" or "No." You have to be proactive about scenario-planning a 3 year commitment with someone that may or may not still like you by the end of it.

 

[WhtsThFrequency]

Your options are either "a forced engagement for the next three years" or "the relationship is as good as over." Yet the girl is still "awesome, loving, and supportive." What? Something doesn't make sense here. Surely there's a middle ground.

"I don't want to mix my personal and my professional life. It could lead to a lot of unnecessary drama for reasons beyond either of our control. We can still stay together by doing X, Y, and Z." OR "Let's do it, but we need to set up some ground rules." It's tempting to go with the first option, but sometimes a keeper is a keeper and you gotta get over feeling ambivalent.

Either way, the answer can't just be "Yes" or "No." You have to be proactive about scenario-planning a 3 year commitment with someone that may or may not still like you by the end of it.

To be fair, someone who is a keeper would likely not have an issue with the first option. That's why they're a keeper.

I also agree that this seems bizarrely black and white. If a girl would break up with you because you didn't want to do all your rotations with her, that is strange and almost controlling. You need *individual* personal growth as well as growing together, and you can't have the former if you're together 100% of the time.