Dealing with a bully in a postbacc class

[Sparkle dust]

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So... I can't believe I would ever be bothered by such a thing but I'm taking a few upper level science classes as a postbacc and there is this one girl in particular who seems to have some serious issues with me. I'm not really sure why... I am not sure if I came off annoying in some lectures by asking a lot of questions or something but it was asking a lot of questions in class that helped me earned a good grade on the first midterm.

She has made rude comments, been really abrasive and I can just tell for whatever reason she is bothered by me. I'm taking classes to learn (+ raise my sGPA). I normally just brush off rude people but this seems to be recurring thing and I don't look forward to seeing this girl and it's just been bothering me in general.

Any advice on how to deal with this? Sorry if this seems stupid I just feel like I haven't dealt with people like this since middle school.

 

[samac]

Well you really have two options either confront her or don't and ignore her. I would do the latter. No one is worth that time

But FYI if you ask a ton of questions all the time people will have a level of disdain for you in med school. It's something you should work on, if it's not something that is confusing right that second then wait and ask the professor after class or in their office. If you ask a question in every class that's too much.


Edited for dumb typographical errors

 

[candbgirl]

Really? What is she doing to you? Do what you do . Sit away from her, don't try to interact with her, ignore her. You are both adults. There are going to be lots of people you meet like that. You might also try a little introspection and see if maybe you are monopolizing the class or being gunnerish. But don't get into it with her.


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[theonlytycrane]

Are there office hours where you can ask questions at instead? Maybe during class jot down your questions to look up on your own and ask later on.

 

[Sparkle dust]

Are there office hours where you can ask questions at instead? Maybe during class jot down your questions to look up on your own and ask later on.

Well you really have two options either confront her or don't and ignore her. I would do the latter. No one is worth that time

But FYI if you ask a ton of questions all the time people will have a level of disdain for you in med school. It's something you should work on, if it's not something that is confusing right that second to wait and ask the professor during class or in their office. If you ask a question in every class that's too much.

I've definitely tried to not ask as much as of recently but I would say others ask just as many questions. I don't particularly know why she has a problem with me that was just my guess. Yeah I'm going to try going to office hours instead.

 

[Sparkle dust]

Really? What is she doing to you? Do what you do . Sit away from her, don't try to interact with her, ignore her. You are both adults. There are going to be lots of people you meet like that. You might also try a little introspection and see if maybe you are monopolizing the class or being gunnerish. But don't get into it with her.


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I stated it in my OP. She interjects herself into conversations and finds a way to make rude comments and is just abrasive in general. One doesn't have to always say much or do much to show you that they're not a big fan of you. I'm just going to continue my best to ignore her. I am definitely not a gunner so I don't think that's the issue. Thanks for the input

 

[candbgirl]

But you may be coming across as a gunner to her. It's probably too late to do anything this semester . Just keep quiet and do your work. Like I said you'll meet lots of people like this as you move forward.


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[ChrisMack390]

Adversity essay - check!

 

[doctorleospaceman]

Aww, I think she likes you!

Either ignore her or ask her out. No other options.

 

[wagonwheel23]

Just completely ignore her. Do not engage her or even look at her. And remember, this is more about her than you. People like that tend to have some dark stuff going on.

 

[JustaDO]

This seems like the beginning of a love story.

 

[Incis0r]

You need to build a wall:

 

[ysquared]

If I've learned one thing during my gap year so far it's that bullies will always exist, no matter where you are or how old those around you are. At my research job, I have a coworker who is a good 30 years older than I am who blames me whenever one of her experiments goes wrong or she's misplaced some samples and has screamed at me numerous times in front of the entire lab.

I know bullies are hard to deal with and it can fill you with dread every time you go to class (or, in my case, work), but the only thing you can do is ignore it as best as you can and continously remind yourself that the semester/year will eventually end.

 

[oopsaloo]

[removed]
@NotASerialKiller

 

[Turkishking]

Fight her

I'm joking. Ignore her.

 

[Pagan FutureDoc]

You need to realize that you are an adult and have to act accordingly. In your career you will run into people who will rub you the wrong way or just plain not like you.

 

[MedHopeful09]

I also want to add that I think you should continue asking however many questions you want, if it pertains to the material. Never feel ashamed about them.
As someone who is hesitant to ask questions, both during class and OH, you have a method that works for you and you practice it.

Don't sacrifice your success to make others more comfortable.

 

[OchemOficionado]

Sit right next to her from now on #petty

I'm pretty direct, I'd confront her after class one day and just say something like, "I've noticed your comments. What do I do that bothers you so much?" She will either deny knowing what you're talking about and STOP her behavior OR she will tell you exactly what you do. You will tell her you will work on it and you will both work towards ceasing your annoying behaviors.

 

[wizzed101]

But FYI if you ask a ton of questions all the time people will have a level of disdain for you in med school.

I've seen a lot of this particular advice. But why? Questions stimulate thinking and reveal blind spots. It should help the whole class.

 

[kawi609]

I think at the end of the day your paying for the class so she can **** off, as all the questions you want and if she has a problem with it confront her and tell her how savage you are fam!

 

[MareNostrummm]

It depends on the type of questions you are asking.. if you are asking very remedial questions in a high level upper division class because it "helps you earn a better grade" then you may be annoying the rest of the class because they assume you should already know the material... hence it seems like you are using the professors time for your own personal benefit rather than that of the whole class.

That being said, I have had lectures where the same person is asking 2-3 questions every lecture, but since they are very beneficial questions everybody is grateful for it.

 

[KnuxNole]

The best way to handle this in an appropriate matter that would never make her do this kinda action again, is to snatch her weave off and diss her dusty outfit.

 

[aalamruad]

I've seen a lot of this particular advice. But why? Questions stimulate thinking and reveal blind spots. It should help the whole class.

90% of the questions I hear during class fall into one of these categories:

-Basic information that the person should have learned in previous lectures or while studying outside of class, or that could easily be looked up during or after class
-Asking about things that only concern that one person (which should be discussed in office hours)
-Asking for repetitions of material that was just covered, which the person clearly didn't pay attention to
-Irrelevant clarifications about minutiae that obviously won't be tested
-"Questions" that are really just announcements in disguise, intended to demonstrate to the class that the person knows something interesting or impressive

These types of questions ruin the pace of a lecture, and insult the hundreds of other students in the class who have the sense to only ask questions that are crucial to the progression of everyone's education. They seem minor, but can really do some serious damage when added up.

 

[samac]

I also want to add that I think you should continue asking however many questions you want, if it pertains to the material. Never feel ashamed about them.
As someone who is hesitant to ask questions, both during class and OH, you have a method that works for you and you practice it.

Don't sacrifice your success to make others more comfortable.

I disagree. If questions work for you that's fine, but do it outside of communal time. There's multiple people in the class you can't slow down every lecture and get everyone behind just for your own personal gain.

I've seen a lot of this particular advice. But why? Questions stimulate thinking and reveal blind spots. It should help the whole class.

@walloobi hit all the points I would have. Just to reinforce my point that drives me insane: asking questions just to sound smart. Questions that are off the wall and about things we've never discussed just to let the professor know "hey I know this". There's a couple people in the class who do this who are definitely just blowing steam and often trying trying to stump the professor. Like reading ahead and looking up clinical bits of information relating to parts of anatomy and asking the anatomy professors who have no clinical training. No just stop.

 

[holycrap]

Haters gonna hate, just ignore her she won't do anything because she knows she'll get expelled.

 

[Frogger27]

punch her

 

[libertyyne]

90% of the questions I hear during class fall into one of these categories:

-Basic information that the person should have learned in previous lectures or while studying outside of class, or that could easily be looked up during or after class
-Asking about things that only concern that one person (which should be discussed in office hours)
-Asking for repetitions of material that was just covered, which the person clearly didn't pay attention to
-Irrelevant clarifications about minutiae that obviously won't be tested
-"Questions" that are really just announcements in disguise, intended to demonstrate to the class that the person knows something interesting or impressive

These types of questions ruin the pace of a lecture, and insult the hundreds of other students in the class who have the sense to only ask questions that are crucial to the progression of everyone's education. They seem minor, but can really do some serious damage when added up.

I do take issue with irrelevance and minutiae part, but everything else is point on. For this reason I just go up to the teacher post lecture and ask a list of questions I generated during the lecture.
Asking questions is probably more beneficial in non science classes where the process of coming to an answer is just as important as the answer.

 

[sedgeshaveedges]

OP, I think this is one of those situations where you have to accept that sometimes people are going to be unpleasant. Luckily, it doesn't sound like you have a lot of sustained interaction with her other than in the classroom, so I don't think direct confrontation will get you anywhere. As long as she's not directly impacting your grades or ability to learn the material, let it go, be tough, and ace the course.

 

[vellez]

Grow up. Jeez.

 

[DiscusKeeper]

As someone who's been in this situation, ignore her. Ask as many questions as you want. In fact, ask more if you know it annoys her. And just pretend she doesn't exist when she interjects into conversations. The more you just absolutely don't give a **** about her, the more mad she'll get. And then she'll stop caring eventually, and the problem will be solved.

Do not let anyone else influence your education. If you need to ask questions in class to understand the material, ask as many as you want. If you're being disruptive the professor would pull you aside after class and let you know. Don't let some rude girl get in the way of your learning.

 

[CaliforniaDreamer]

Stop asking questions in lecture.

 

[mmm_cats]

I asked a total of 2 questions during lecture throughout my entire 4 years. Lots of people ask questions without thinking. Those are stupid questions. Still no reason to be rude though.

Next time she says something rude to you get close to her, look her in the eye and say "**** off. " Don't stick around and bicker. Don't waste more than 2 words on her.

 

[SilveoDante]

So... I can't believe I would ever be bothered by such a thing but I'm taking a few upper level science classes as a postbacc and there is this one girl in particular who seems to have some serious issues with me. I'm not really sure why... I am not sure if I came off annoying in some lectures by asking a lot of questions or something but it was asking a lot of questions in class that helped me earned a good grade on the first midterm.

She has made rude comments, been really abrasive and I can just tell for whatever reason she is bothered by me. I'm taking classes to learn (+ raise my sGPA). I normally just brush off rude people but this seems to be recurring thing and I don't look forward to seeing this girl and it's just been bothering me in general.

Any advice on how to deal with this? Sorry if this seems stupid I just feel like I haven't dealt with people like this since middle school.

This is precisely why I sit in the very last row in the very back of the class while keeping my mouth shut.

Google has more knowledge than any teacher. And if Google fails you, there is a professor online with videos that explains the material better than your professor.