Dealing with Death

[libo1369]

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Okay so I have had the unfotunate reality of dealing with many deaths in my time but now I am in a conundrum. My daughter (almost two) beta (fish) died (stuck its head in the bottom of the bowl). How do I bring this up? Do I ignore it and she magically gets a new beta? Should we grieve while flushing the thing down the toilet then get a new fish? I need your help people!

Thanks in advance
Libo

 

[DragonWell]

Don't hide it, kids need to experience death as something natural that happens.

Get a head start on behavioral science and use it as an opportunity to memorize SPIKES.

 

[Kateb4]

Okay so I have had the unfotunate reality of dealing with many deaths in my time but now I am in a conundrum. My daughter (almost two) beta (fish) died (stuck its head in the bottom of the bowl). How do I bring this up? Do I ignore it and she magically gets a new beta? Should we grieve while flushing the thing down the toilet then get a new fish? I need your help people!

Thanks in advance
Libo

Hmmm, at almost two I may just magically replace the beta. We had to put one of our kitties to sleep last year, and my daughter was 2 at the time. She didn't understand any of it, and really just moved right past the whole thing. She just said that the kitty went to heaven to be with God, and didn't comprehend the whole death thing. Our 5 year old (4 at the time) was only a little more inquisitive, but didn't go through any of the mourning. I do think that these experiences are good to prepare kids for future deaths of people, but I don't think that 2 is really a good teaching age for this lesson yet. She will have plenty of opportunity when she is a little older. JMHO.

 

[DocInProgress]

Tell her that the fishy went to heaven. 🙂

 

[ShyRem]

Tell her the fishy went to heaven and offer to let her pick out another one at the store.

 

[MDROCKSTAR]

Give the fish a proper burial at sea (flush it down the toilet).

 

[Toohotinvegas33]

Give it to her like this

 

[TexasTriathlete]

Tell her that God punished the fish for masturbation.

 

[MossPoh]

At the age of two, it is a bit tough to really wrap their head around it. Heck, I was building a playset for my nephew who was two at the time and he kept ripping the slide out of my hands and going "mine mine mine!". Reason didn't really work when explaining that we were putting it together for him.

Kindergarten age is probably the better time to introduce the whole death concept. It is rough, I remember how devastated I was when we had to put our sheepdog down, and how miserable it must've been for my parents, but it was important lesson. Heck, you could probably tell her that the fish went to day care and you guys have to go pick him/her up from school with his friends.

 

[ShyRem]

TT, that's just a really wrong response. We're talking about a 2 year old.

I would have thought better of you. I'm disappointed in you.

 

[ellinopedo182]

replace it with another type of fish and see if she notices.

 

[Toohotinvegas33]

Tell her that God punished the fish for masturbation.

Does PCOM-GA know about your antics? I might have to send them an email

 

[Omashu]

Tell her that her Beta went to heaven. But she's too little to make a big deal of it. I would say get another fish - but they die quickly. You may have the same problem in another 1-2 months. Is there another kid-friendly pet you can get her with a longer life span?

 

[t-funk]

Okay so I have had the unfotunate reality of dealing with many deaths in my time but now I am in a conundrum. My daughter (almost two) beta (fish) died (stuck its head in the bottom of the bowl). How do I bring this up? Do I ignore it and she magically gets a new beta? Should we grieve while flushing the thing down the toilet then get a new fish? I need your help people!

Thanks in advance
Libo

I have a son who is almost 3 and I doubt he would even notice if a fish disappeared. He loves fish but I just don't think he would understand death or the fish being gone (If a new one replaced it). Maybe a girl would be a little more sentimental but I wouldn't know since I don't have any girls. I'd just replace it if it were me. You could always say goodbye to it in the toilet too, she won't remember a couple of weeks from now either way.

 

[EEL08]

I have a son who is almost 3 and I doubt he would even notice if a fish disappeared. He loves fish but I just don't think he would understand death or the fish being gone (If a new one replaced it). Maybe a girl would be a little more sentimental but I wouldn't know since I don't have any girls. I'd just replace it if it were me. You could always say goodbye to it in the toilet too, she won't remember a couple of weeks from now either way.

Ditto and my son will be 3 tomorrow!! 😀😍

 

[t-funk]

Ditto and my son will be 3 tomorrow!! 😀😍

Yeah, happy b-day to him. Both of my sons are born in June and we are already planning their b-day party (more so for the one who is going to be 10) and it is going to be big, kind of like a going away party, since we are moving in July. 😱🙂 Sorry about being off topic. 😳

 

[libo1369]

you could probably tell her that the fish went to day care and you guys have to go pick him/her up from school with his friends.

Wish I would have thought of this. We ended up not even mentionig her old fish just went out and had her pick a new one didn't seem to mind at all. She says she likes this one better though I am not sure she even remembers the other one. We picked another Beta because they do live a long time my wife had one for over 10 years and she even accidentally froze it once and when thawed came right back! Thanks for all the advice`

 

[slim78]

she even accidentally froze it once and when thawed came right back!

Dude

U serious?

 

[ellinopedo182]

Dude

U serious?

my fiance's father put some goldfish in a fountain tank he has outside his home. the tank froze and snow covered the foutain, about a month later, the ice thawed and there were still 3 goldfish living.

 

[saylorsdad]

I have heard of goldfish surviving harsh winters when the ice above them freezes, however I've been under the assumption that the layer of water just below the ice is basically insulated and just above freezing. I don't think the goldfish actually freeze however I could be wrong.

 

[t-funk]

I have heard of goldfish surviving harsh winters when the ice above them freezes, however I've been under the assumption that the layer of water just below the ice is basically insulated and just above freezing. I don't think the goldfish actually freeze however I could be wrong.

Yes, that is typically what happens. I am not sure about the first person's story though bc it didn't sound like it involved a winter freezing.

 

[ellinopedo182]

I have heard of goldfish surviving harsh winters when the ice above them freezes, however I've been under the assumption that the layer of water just below the ice is basically insulated and just above freezing. I don't think the goldfish actually freeze however I could be wrong.

yes this is true. But still, we are talking about ~33-38F water and goldfish. I was always under the assumption these things lived in warmer waters.

 

[slim78]

I'm tempted to go down to Wal-Mart and pick up a 10 cent goldfish. I could stick him between the peas and the carrots for a few days and then see what happens.

Actually I don't think I could do that. I'd feel bad. It is tempting though.

 

[gasapple]

I'm tempted to go down to Wal-Mart and pick up a 10 cent goldfish. I could stick him between the peas and the carrots for a few days and then see what happens.

Actually I don't think I could do that. I'd feel bad. It is tempting though.

 

[Punchap]

Okay so I have had the unfotunate reality of dealing with many deaths in my time but now I am in a conundrum. My daughter (almost two) beta (fish) died (stuck its head in the bottom of the bowl). How do I bring this up? Do I ignore it and she magically gets a new beta? Should we grieve while flushing the thing down the toilet then get a new fish? I need your help people!

Thanks in advance
Libo

This scenario reminds me of "the perfect picture of death" from Kill Bill Vol. 2....only, your daughter didn't kill the fish.

I agree with the other posters. Let your daughter know of the death, mourn and then buy a new fish.

 

[Doc Henry]

Tell her that God punished the fish for masturbation.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

How does a fish masturbate?