Dealing With Rejections

[galixia17]

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Hey guys! I wanted to ask you all how you deal with rejections. I applied to 5 schools (Cornell, NCSU, VMRCVM, ISU, and Auburn) and have already gotten rejected from 2 schools (NCSU & VMRCVM). I know many others are in my same boat, and I was wondering how you all dealt with these rejections constructively without letting them get you down. I'm beginning to feel very discouraged, as VMRCVM was my IS, I thought I had a solid chance.

 

[Bernsters83]

Yup

 

[shortnsweet]

I wouldn't say it gets easier...even now getting job rejections is still tough, but you learn to cope with it more as time goes on. Keep the faith, it will happen eventually if you want it badly enough. It may not be the acceptance you thought it would be, but it is where you are supposed to end up! VA-MD was my in state as well, but I was flat out rejected by them even with solid stats. Ended up coming to Glasgow, and having the best 5 years of my life. 🙂

Spend some time with friends and family, and enjoy the holidays as much as you can!

 

[battie]

For the two schools that have rejected me, I put it into perspective. They were probably the hardest to get into on my list and the bottom two on my list. That, plus having midterms, work , friends and family, I just let it go. In the end, I feel it is worse to let it get to you. If I let it go and focus on the three other schools and what was then going on in my life, it wasn't a big deal. Not only that, you have three schools left (like I did). I have had one interview invite and my other two schools are pending at this point. You never know, the next letter could be an acceptance. 🙂. Have hope. That's the short version of what I do. lol.

 

[Cyndia]

Totally in the same boat, gotten 5 school rejections thus far (including vmrcvm which was my IS as well), and also dealing with job rejections and visa issues with staying in Europe, so definitely starting to feel the stress! I did give myself a few days to wallow and go drink like crazy with friends, but now I'm just trying to stay positive and focus on figuring out ways to improve my app/take the other things one step at a time. What helped the most was talking to my parents... They'd been expecting me to get in everywhere, and have been asking constantly for updates, so it was really hard telling them about the first two rejections. After I did, my mom went and started looking up application stats without telling me, and then came back shocked at how few seats are available and how high most successful applicant stats were. After that she was so much more understanding over how pessimistic I have been, particularly since I have a fairly good application, but am by no means a stellar applicant. It made me calm down a lot, as did talking to one or two friends who are also getting lots of rejections. I'm thrilled for my friends who are getting in, but I'm definitely also avoiding them a bit haha. Anyways, just trying to stay positive! Haven't heard from all of my schools yet either, so there's still a chance, and if not there's always next year 🙂

 

[WulfpackChica]

I am still weary of my chances despite getting an interview invite. I am one that compares myself to others ALL the time and then gets discouraged. The first couple times of applying rejections were really hard and I became very cynical and started to question if this is still what I wanted to do. Don't let it get it you too down. Take some time to sulk a little, but then figure out what you need to do to increase your chances. Try not to get obsessed with it (easier said than done).

Personally, I got jaded for a while and took a couple years off from applying because I began to question if I wanted to put myself through the whole process again. Applied to Grad School to a program that I went in resenting because I was doing that instead of going to Vet School, but turned out loving (and the people too... whom some of which were in the same boat as far as Professional Schools).

It definitely helped this last time having this board to really realize that I am not alone and have some really awesome support. My friend gave up on the Vet School thing while we were in Undergrad, but she has also been really supportive of me. She did not ask a million and one times if I was going to reapply, she let me vent and be frustrated but also showed encouragement to keep going. My boyfriend was also pretty awesome in his own way, pushing me to the point of almost annoyance to figure out what I need to do and to network with professors (etc. etc.)

We are here to support each other (but I know that is not going to help fully). If you get rejected, figure out what needs to be done to help your application. I went into working with Lab Animals/Research and then swapped to Public Health Lab (testing for Rabies).

 

[StartingoverVet]

The biggest thing is to realize a rejection is not an indictment of you as a person, or your future prospects or anything else. It just means there wasn't a good fit between your APPLICATION (not you but your application) and the school. Maybe there can never be a fit based on what they want, but maybe you just need to change your application. File reviews later will help you see what the sticking point is..

But as a positive story, I like the one of my wife applying to PhD programs... She applied to 12 programs. Got 10 rejections to start the process. 1 of the 2 places she got in, was her first choice, and the #1 program in the country. In hindsight, it was clear that she didn't fit in at those other places... So have hope, you never know how it will turn out until it is over.

 

[Rainheart]

As my mom told me the year I was rejected from the three schools I applied, it was meant to be that I take off a year. I don't regret it; I got to work and make some money and spend time with my family. The next year, I ended up applying to a few more schools and now I'm attending a school I had never even heard of until last August that I applied to at the last minute. Just take a deep breath and everything will work out how it is supposed to. Having to re-apply is not the end of the world if it comes to that.

 

[pp9]

I'm trying to take rejections as "You're not ready yet." Key word trying haha. I'm expecting more because I didn't do so hot this semester. Just don't give up. Some great vets have had to apply multiple times.

 

[ChittyBang]

I like to keep in mind that its not the end. JK Rowling, Einstein, Disney, Oprah, and sooooo many others were rejected multiple times before great success! So, a school/job doesn't want me? Their loss. Another one will. And it will be a recipe for success 😀

 

[dyachei]

Rejections suck, but they are definitely not about YOU. They are about the school. Don't fall into the trap of comparing yourself or thinking you aren't good enough because they didn't accept you. I was rejected from all but 1 school when I applied and that acceptance came LATE. So I know it feels like failure. The best thing I did was make plans for if I didn't get in - whether its strengthening your applications by getting experience, retaking the GRE, or coming up with a back-up plan (or multiple). Use it to be productive. And don't take it personally, even though it's tough.

Good luck on the remaining applications

 

[gugoodoll]

Everyone else has already said great things. I just wanted to add my own stories- my SO applied to and was rejected from all of his grad schools the first year. The second year he got into all but one (which he now attends and loves). I took my own waitlist/rejection really hard last year and moped like crazy for at least 2 weeks. Eventually I learned to move on, become stronger, and figure out how to strengthen my application for the next cycle. I had to realize that acceptances/rejections don't define what kind of person I am (or my quality as an applicant), but how we take these events do define us.

Rejection is all part of "growing up", so to speak. Unfortunately it doesn't end with vet school, but we can use it as a stepping stone to becoming a stronger person.

I know this sounds very cliche, but everything happens for a reason! If you don't get into schools this cycle, just try harder. Things will work out one way or another.

 

[StartingoverVet]

Speaking of rejection...
my year of undergrad graduation contained the market crash of 87 in the fall and there were few jobs in finance my year.
I had a stack of about 100 rejection letters. It was pretty depressing.
In the end I got 3 job offers (1 job I would never have taken, and 2 small companies). All seemed to work out ok.

I kept that stack of letters at first... holding on to my anger, but I trashed them after a year or so as they no longer mattered.
You will feel the same as well.

 

[CanHardlyWait]

Not sure if this will help-but those of you that were rejected by VMRCVM: we got an email today telling us that there were over 1400 applicants, a 12.7% increase over last year, which was another record breaking year in terms of applicant numbers. All those applicants for only 125 seats (and 125 students is an increased class size as of c/o 2016).
As SOV said, the rejection isn't of you as a person. It is really hard for a piece a paper to represent you, and it's hard to make your app stand out in a stack of 1400 other papers. Sometimes I really think they just throw all of the apps on the floor and throw darts at them to choose who gets interviews. I don't know how else adcoms can get through so many apps in 2 months.
Keep your chins up! It's not over till it's over.

 

[WelshCob]

It is really hard, the first year I applied I was kind of ready for it. I worked for a year afterwards and I realized there is was so much that I learned from that rejection and from the year I just spent working. That year was needed for me to grow as a person and to reevaluate my application. The second year I was absolutely devastated, I wanted to throw in the towel. Long story short that second rejection led me to a new job where I learned even more and allowed me to get my Masters in Business Management. I now feel I have the ability to be a doctor and the ability to run/manage a clinic and my own personal self. I would never have obtained this knowledge if I hadn't been rejected a second time. By working for 2 years full time I was actually able to save up a small down payment for my townhouse and can now say I am a home owner.

You get in to vet school when you are truly ready, not a cycle to soon nor a cycle to late. Sit back and think of something you'd like to accomplish in your year off and accomplish it. Whether that be another degree, a job, a small savings account, a trip around the world something and just roll with it.

 

[171717]

I've never experienced rejection until applying to vet school! It's a horrible feeling and feels like a knife straight to the heart. But this experience will make you a stronger person and appreciate the acceptance even more when it comes and it will I promise! I know its not easy but keep your head up and try to focus on all the positive aspects of life

Best of luck!

 

[LetItSnow]

I'm not really one of those fuzzy cuddly "everything happens for a reasons" guys, but looking back ten years from now you might find some good in the rejections. Maybe you make some veterinary contacts in the next year while you're working on your app that eventually drive you to a job. Maybe you just have a really fun year.

If I had gotten in the first time around, I would have had to quit my job. I would have gotten nothing. The following year, I got into school, and managed to get laid off from my job exactly as school was starting, and walked out with one year's severance pay. That's an entire year's salary I wouldn't have gotten if I had gotten into school the previous year.

So.... if you don't get in.... make lemonade. Somehow.

 

[wildowl]

I got rejected first time around and got in my second try too. Having just finished my first semester, there were many times throughout that I was actually glad I hadn't gotten in the first time. I don't think I could've handled vet school straight out of college, simply for the fact that I hadn't learned how I study best. I went to grad school as a back-up plan and learned so much that prepared me better for this experience. Do something fun your years off; I spent a lot of time with family and got so much new experience--learned that I actually like teaching science and overcame my fear of public speaking and got new vet experience too. Call the schools for a file review; the ones I spoke to the first time around said I had a good application but the competition is extremely tough. Don't be so hard on yourself.

 

[pp9]

@wildowl did you apply the cycle immediately following your rejections, or did you take a true year off?

 

[dydrmr01]

First things first, get rid of those rejection emails/letters. Next, just keep moving forward. I thought about taking a year off after my first year applying, but a professor made a good point that it doesn't look great if you decide to reapply to just take a year off and don't do anything to improve your application. So allow yourself a little room and time to breathe, reevaluate in a few days, weeks, months, and just keep moving forward, whatever that means for you 😉

 

[wildowl]

@pinkpuppy9 I actually took 3 years "off." During my first cycle I worked for a year after graduating while applying. Then I got a Masters after they thought my grades weren't strong enough. My rejections came pretty early on in January and Penn rejected me I think mid-March but I already had the idea I wouldn't get in. I looked up programs I was interested in that would give me funding. I applied to two programs and got into one. My other back up was to work somewhere for another year.

 

[TooLove]

I got TEN rejections last cycle, but I just finished my first semester of vet school last week! It really only takes one acceptance. 🙂

Getting rid of the rejection letters is really good advice. That was exactly what I would do after skimming the letter from the thin envelope of doom. Rip it up and to the trash it went. It is really hard to not let it get you down, and my boss and coworkers definitely noticed a change in my attitude during that time. Try to find something non-veterinary related to keep you occupied...for me it was getting a trainer and obsessively tracking my food.

Good luck!

 

[gumtree]

Hey guys! I wanted to ask you all how you deal with rejections. I applied to 5 schools (Cornell, NCSU, VMRCVM, ISU, and Auburn) and have already gotten rejected from 2 schools (NCSU & VMRCVM). I know many others are in my same boat, and I was wondering how you all dealt with these rejections constructively without letting them get you down. I'm beginning to feel very discouraged, as VMRCVM was my IS, I thought I had a solid chance.

One of the things that helped me deal with rejections was coming up with my "back up" plan in case I didn't get accepted anywhere that I applied, and thinking about how having an extra year would help me to become an even better applicant next cycle. I brainstormed things that would directly affect my application: where I would be working, other vets I wanted to shadow, places I wanted to volunteer at, other experiences I wanted to gain before starting school, etc. But I also thought about stuff I could be doing for me. I made plans to visits friends and family in other states, work on my artwork, READ FOR FUN!!!

 

[mjt09fsu]

For those of you that were rejected the first year, and then worked on your GPA and got in a second or third time, did you feel as though a Masters was the answer? I'm 4/5 with rejections so far and I am still waiting to hear from my IS but I don't have an amazing GPA so I think that's why I haven't received an interview yet. I'm just trying to find my back up plan and see if a Masters, or retaking classes, is the best way to go for GPA.

 

[clinicalscience808]

Does anyone have any advice on dealing with a rejection from your first choice? I did get in to 3 of my 5 schools so far and I'm waiting for my 2nd choice's decision. However, I just found out I didn't get into my first choice. It's really hard because I got my hopes up about getting in, and my entire family is already convinced I'm going there. This is my first rejection and it probably will be the worst since it was my top choice. I'm trying to tell myself that it was one of the hardest to get into that I applied to and there must be a reason I shouldn't go there. I just don't know how to move on when all my other choices seem subpar compared to my top choice and now that's not an option. Along with that I have no idea how to tell my family, I feel like I'm already such a failure and they'll think the same...

 

[Ashgirl]

Does anyone have any advice on dealing with a rejection from your first choice? I did get in to 3 of my 5 schools so far and I'm waiting for my 2nd choice's decision. However, I just found out I didn't get into my first choice. It's really hard because I got my hopes up about getting in, and my entire family is already convinced I'm going there. This is my first rejection and it probably will be the worst since it was my top choice. I'm trying to tell myself that it was one of the hardest to get into that I applied to and there must be a reason I shouldn't go there. I just don't know how to move on when all my other choices seem subpar compared to my top choice and now that's not an option. Along with that I have no idea how to tell my family, I feel like I'm already such a failure and they'll think the same...

I'm sorry you got rejected, it's never easy to hear.

What do you mean by "sub-par?" Just because you don't think it will be a good fit? Or you will somehow become a lesser doctor? To be quite honest, you really shouldn't apply to places you have no intention of going to.

Now, lecture aside, if you get into one of these other schools or not, you are not a failure. If you get into another school, you will become a competent veterinarian regardless of where you go, and certainly wouldn't be a "failure" for getting in there but not your #1.

So as someone who very very very reluctantly and begrudgingly picked a school over their "dream" school due to cost and had several family members say that I was making the wrong decision and would be a lesser vet- I was so wrong. My family was so wrong. I'm glad I chose the school I picked. It prepared me well. And the family members? They got over it quickly and are now proudly wearing my school's shirts and things. You might find they will begin supporting you regardless of where you end up because at the end of the day you'll still be a DVM.

 

[clinicalscience808]

I'm sorry you got rejected, it's never easy to hear.

What do you mean by "sub-par?" Just because you don't think it will be a good fit? Or you will somehow become a lesser doctor? To be quite honest, you really shouldn't apply to places you have no intention of going to.

Now, lecture aside, if you get into one of these other schools or not, you are not a failure. If you get into another school, you will become a competent veterinarian regardless of where you go, and certainly wouldn't be a "failure" for getting in there but not your #1.

So as someone who very very very reluctantly and begrudgingly picked a school over their "dream" school due to cost and had several family members say that I was making the wrong decision and would be a lesser vet- I was so wrong. My family was so wrong. I'm glad I chose the school I picked. It prepared me well. And the family members? They got over it quickly and are now proudly wearing my school's shirts and things. You might find they will begin supporting you regardless of where you end up because at the end of the day you'll still be a DVM.

I still really like the schools I applied to besides my first choice. I just see a few more drawbacks with these other schools than my primary, hence why it was my first choice. I just feel so let down because I was close to convinced that I would get in. I know the other schools will still make me a great DVM, I just have to weigh other ideas like cost (it so happened that my first choice was the cheapest for out-of-state if I'm not selected for WICHE by my state), location, and everything else that really doesn't have to do with the education itself. I just feel that its so hard to move on right now still thinking about my rejection and how disappointed I am in myself for not making the cut.

 

[Ashgirl]

I still really like the schools I applied to besides my first choice. I just see a few more drawbacks with these other schools than my primary, hence why it was my first choice. I just feel so let down because I was close to convinced that I would get in. I know the other schools will still make me a great DVM, I just have to weigh other ideas like cost (it so happened that my first choice was the cheapest for out-of-state if I'm not selected for WICHE by my state), location, and everything else that really doesn't have to do with the education itself. I just feel that its so hard to move on right now still thinking about my rejection and how disappointed I am in myself for not making the cut.

Ah, I see.

Well, if it is any consolation, my first vet school decision was also a rejection after an interview at a place that I thought I had a better chance at than others. Like, I legitimately had a meltdown because I thought this was an omen of me not getting into any of the other schools. Turns out, I got accepted at 4/4 other vet schools. Every school evaluates applicants a bit differently, so just because you get rejected at one school does not mean failure/rejection at another.

Remember, out of all the nos you may receive, all you need is one yes 🙂.

 

[LetItSnow]

Does anyone have any advice on dealing with a rejection from your first choice? I did get in to 3 of my 5 schools so far and I'm waiting for my 2nd choice's decision. However, I just found out I didn't get into my first choice. It's really hard because I got my hopes up about getting in, and my entire family is already convinced I'm going there. This is my first rejection and it probably will be the worst since it was my top choice. I'm trying to tell myself that it was one of the hardest to get into that I applied to and there must be a reason I shouldn't go there. I just don't know how to move on when all my other choices seem subpar compared to my top choice and now that's not an option. Along with that I have no idea how to tell my family, I feel like I'm already such a failure and they'll think the same...

It sucks, but you just have to shovel it behind you and move on. It's not about you being a failure, it's about you not being a match for them. Don't think of it as "not making the cut" like you mentioned in a subsequent post: think about it more like a dating match - you just weren't the right candidate for them. Not necessarily that you aren't a good enough candidate. There's no quick solution to feeling disappointment over not getting in - you just need to reframe your thinking about it, and allow for some time to put it behind you. Surround yourself with friends who will buy you a drink and commiserate and make you laugh.

Don't worry about your family. Just tell them flat out "Hey, I didn't get into X. Cross your fingers for these other schools!" If they're supportive, they won't care and they'll share your grief about not getting into your first choice. If they're not supportive, then their opinion doesn't matter.

If you get into another school, you will become a competent veterinarian regardless of where you go

Well. That's on the student, not the school. Not all students who go to all schools become competent veterinarians - there are plenty of incompetent vets practicing medicine. But I know what you meant. 🙂 I only even bother to quote it because .... I dunno .... I don't like the sense of loss of personal responsibility. The student is responsible for making themselves into a good doctor.

 

[Ashgirl]

Well. That's on the student, not the school. Not all students who go to all schools become competent veterinarians - there are plenty of incompetent vets practicing medicine. But I know what you meant. 🙂 I only even bother to quote it because .... I dunno .... I don't like the sense of loss of personal responsibility. The student is responsible for making themselves into a good doctor.

I agree 100%. I suppose I should have said, to better prove what I meant, that one school won't magically make you a better or even "good" veterinarian than another. I've bad and good vets from Cornell, Purdue, Ross, UC Davis, etc. I've always been one for the saying "vet school is what you make it," as the effort you put in during and after school is far more important (in my opinion) than what school you went to.

 

[Old-Country-Vet-Tech]

Uf is my in state and I already know even with a solid masters they won't probably accept me. As my mentor said vet school is vet school, as long as you get your degree and can pay off loans in the end you are good. Go where you are accepted and if you aren't try again.

 

[HopefulAg]

Go where you are accepted and if you aren't try again.

Touched on by your previous sentence, granted, but I disagree a bit. Go where you're accepted *and can afford* because when you're staring down the barrel of the loan repayment on a $200,000 debt, it's very unpleasant. I only (ha...only) have $140,000 and tackling that seems insurmountable at times.

Anyhow, I was rejected from probably about 12 different schools over the course of the three attempts I made. It sucks, kinda a punch in the gut each time, but all you can really do is trudge on. You either get in or you don't ya know? Fretting it isn't going to change anything, you just have to learn from your mistakes and improve what you can and if the cards fall right, you'll get in. If not, at least you won't be caught in a debt trap of your own making 😛

 

[DVMDream]

Well. That's on the student, not the school. Not all students who go to all schools become competent veterinarians - there are plenty of incompetent vets practicing medicine. But I know what you meant. 🙂 I only even bother to quote it because .... I dunno .... I don't like the sense of loss of personal responsibility. The student is responsible for making themselves into a good doctor.

Yeah, I mean, just look at us..... 😉 😉
















(Totally kidding. But really some days and some cases make me feel like I'm an incompetent idiot.)