Did poorly first year - coming out - suggestions

[Merlin222]

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I've been a long time SDN reader for a while, now looking for some advice. After searching the forums, there seems to be few posts on the subject, but nothing to this specificity.

As an incoming second year, I have been struggling with some personal (self) and family issues over the past year. One of them was the process of coming out (think religion), which surprisingly, took much more time/efforts/brainpower than expected. Spent a ton of time on self understanding/searching. In summary, and with no excuses, life happened.

My school (not a top 20) is graded on honors for preclinical years (not numerical, but in categories. About 1/3 of the class honor each course) and uses that for class rank (with clinical year weighing slightly more). With MS1 courses over and honoring only 1 of them/in conjunction with looking at past match lists from our school, I realized I've dug a rather deep hole for myself for a competitive specialty (will try to be slightly anonymous here, but think on the level of optho, ortho, etc.).

Extracurriculars: a few minor leadership roles
Research: 2 mid-author publications in basic science journals not in the field of interest (but think big 3), a clinical paper coming to fruition in the field of interest, and a very well-known summer research program gig (of all the crazy stuff happening this year, definitely got lucky here)

Study habits: I am self aware of how much effort I put into my classes this year, which is close to none. 2-3 days for mid-exams, and 3-4 days for finals (from scratch). I have managed to stay avg/above avg for most classes, but not enough for honoring (to repeat, getting close doesn't matter because it is not a numerical system, but categorical for grades. However, honoring is important for class rank).

Fortunately, much of the personal issues have been sorted out. I have gained much more self confidence over the past few months as friends have been incredibly supportive of the process. Things are definitely on the positive rise (it's not a sudden magical 'hey everything is fine now' but definitely getting/almost there). I've been a relatively good student academically in the past (college/post college) and know what it takes to do well. I have never studied this little relatively to the course load in the past, i'm a bit disappointed.

Any advice/tips/personal experiences on this would be greatly appreciated. I understand it's now crucial to use this summer to review MS1 materials (i know very little details - have used the little time I spent during first year to try to get the bigger pictures), continue with research, and do the best for second year/need to do well on the steps. Thanks guys!

 

[CubsFan314]

I just finished my first year as well, so perhaps I may not be the right person to give high-level advice on this. If you take the long view of this, coming out will likely be the most mentally and spiritually freeing thing you may ever do. I cannot imagine what that must have been like for you this year, but in the end you will have a much happier and more productive life by being who you are. Although it doesn't sound like you finished the first year at the top of your medical school, it also doesn't sound like you did that badly either. You have another two years of pre-clinical and clinicals before your final class rank that the residency program would see. Plus, studying to get big Step 1 and Step 2 scores may be in your reach as well . If you are passionate and committed to what you are doing, I certainly hope that you will be able to do those things (although perhaps not at MGH or Hopkins, there are many other programs out there). It seems premature to count yourself out yet.

 

[masaraksh]

Talk to a therapist. Your school should be able to direct you to one.

 

[Merlin222]

I think you are way, way, way overestimating how "behind the ball" you've put yourself.

A solid second year and a good step 1 score, and anything is open to you.

Quit worrying about what others have done this year, and apply yourself the best you can moving forward.

CubsFan314, definitely had a rough MS1 and a loss of focus, especially the first 3/4 of the year. Southernsurgeon: Have started preparing/reviewing my weak points and getting back on track (chuckling at the timing of how that MS1/MS2 summer step1 prep is a hot post right now, which just reminded me to go pick up my spiral bound FA...I would think it's not too early to start summer preparation for my specific case...haha). I stopped comparing myself to others towards the end of this past year, but brought up the stats of our matching hx for the specific field as an objective piece of evidence. Looking at the past 5 years, it's definitely been done before-justed needed to know how realistic it is. I learned a long lesson in terms of personal issues and professional goals. Balance is really the key!

Talk to a therapist. Your school should be able to direct you to one.

Masaraksh: I am happy where I am right now in terms of non-school related stuff, but it just took longer to get there than expected. A therapist I'm sure would have helped in the past, but most likely not as much now. Thanks for the advice on this though!

 

[MedSchoolSurvivor]

All things considered, it sounds like you are doing very well. I really wouldn't worry about M1 grades, they are almost the equivalent of freshman college grades: somewhat important, but if you show that you improved over the years then they don't really matter that much. If you do well during the next few years, and crush step 1 (emphasis on this part), then you WILL do fine. I would take this summer to relax and get your mind right so that you can be fully prepared for second year.

 

[Goro]

I've had students in similar situations. My first thought is to think of the old joke:

"What do you call the kid who finished last in his med school class?"
"Doctor".

If you haven't done so already, go to your school's counseling center and get some help in coping skills. As you know already, med school is hard enough as it is.

Then come back stronger for MS2. As SS has sagely advised already, rock Step I, and you're past a ton of hurdles. Good luck!

I've been a long time SDN reader for a while, now looking for some advice. After searching the forums, there seems to be few posts on the subject, but nothing to this specificity.

As an incoming second year, I have been struggling with some personal (self) and family issues over the past year. One of them was the process of coming out (think religion), which surprisingly, took much more time/efforts/brainpower than expected. Spent a ton of time on self understanding/searching. In summary, and with no excuses, life happened.

My school (not a top 20) is graded on honors for preclinical years (not numerical, but in categories. About 1/3 of the class honor each course) and uses that for class rank (with clinical year weighing slightly more). With MS1 courses over and honoring only 1 of them/in conjunction with looking at past match lists from our school, I realized I've dug a rather deep hole for myself for a competitive specialty (will try to be slightly anonymous here, but think on the level of optho, ortho, etc.).

Extracurriculars: a few minor leadership roles
Research: 2 mid-author publications in basic science journals not in the field of interest (but think big 3), a clinical paper coming to fruition in the field of interest, and a very well-known summer research program gig (of all the crazy stuff happening this year, definitely got lucky here)

Study habits: I am self aware of how much effort I put into my classes this year, which is close to none. 2-3 days for mid-exams, and 3-4 days for finals (from scratch). I have managed to stay avg/above avg for most classes, but not enough for honoring (to repeat, getting close doesn't matter because it is not a numerical system, but categorical for grades. However, honoring is important for class rank).

Fortunately, much of the personal issues have been sorted out. I have gained much more self confidence over the past few months as friends have been incredibly supportive of the process. Things are definitely on the positive rise (it's not a sudden magical 'hey everything is fine now' but definitely getting/almost there). I've been a relatively good student academically in the past (college/post college) and know what it takes to do well. I have never studied this little relatively to the course load in the past, i'm a bit disappointed.

Any advice/tips/personal experiences on this would be greatly appreciated. I understand it's now crucial to use this summer to review MS1 materials (i know very little details - have used the little time I spent during first year to try to get the bigger pictures), continue with research, and do the best for second year/need to do well on the steps. Thanks guys!

 

[operaman]

Agree with SS that everything is still open to you, and would reiterate the importance of putting in more effort this next year with the goal of doing well on step 1. Doing so is not the given some people seem to think; getting an extraordinary score requires something extraordinary from you, whether that be innate brilliance or hard work or some combination thereof.

You may have to invest relatively more time and effort this next year to accomplish this than if you had been working at your best from the start. You may have to do some relearning of old material to have a solid enough grasp on the newer stuff. Everyone must do this to some extent, but some people I've worked with are especially behind. If that's you, be prepared for an intense year.

 

[AlbinoHawk DO]

So you passed all your classes, honored 1 and you got 2 authorships in big journals and you think you're doing bad? I don't understand.

 

[Merlin222]

Agree with SS that everything is still open to you, and would reiterate the importance of putting in more effort this next year with the goal of doing well on step 1. Doing so is not the given some people seem to think; getting an extraordinary score requires something extraordinary from you, whether that be innate brilliance or hard work or some combination thereof.

You may have to invest relatively more time and effort this next year to accomplish this than if you had been working at your best from the start. You may have to do some relearning of old material to have a solid enough grasp on the newer stuff. Everyone must do this to some extent, but some people I've worked with are especially behind. If that's you, be prepared for an intense year.

Thanks for all the feedback.
Operaman: I appreciate the support. Definitely not the "innately brilliant kind." Don't we all wish so, haha! I'm more of the put in the time type. Definitely behind in my base knowledge though (especially cardiovascular/GI physiology, basic neuro/biochem nutrition, alpha/beta/histamine receptors, etc) and plan to work on strengthening these weakpoints in concepts this summer.

So you passed all your classes, honored 1 and you got 2 authorships in big journals and you think you're doing bad? I don't understand.

AlbinoHawk DO: I'm not saying I'm doing "bad" per say but definitely not doing "well" to be competitive enough for my interests (and I've been interested in the field for a few years now!). Most importantly, it sucks to come out of 1st year (pun intended) not knowing much - obviously I know stuff, enough to be average on exams, but I think the amount of time spent on the subjects really prevented a deeper understanding of the materials. The 2 authorships (and they are smack in the middle of a million people) were from my gap years, (plus they are really basic, think hundreds of westerns and qPCR.) so I don't think they are that significant.

 

[AlbinoHawk DO]

AlbinoHawk DO: I'm not saying I'm doing "bad" per say but definitely not doing "well" to be competitive enough for my interests (and I've been interested in the field for a few years now!). Most importantly, it sucks to come out of 1st year (pun intended) not knowing much - obviously I know stuff, enough to be average on exams, but I think the amount of time spent on the subjects really prevented a deeper understanding of the materials. The 2 authorships (and they are smack in the middle of a million people) were from my gap years, (plus they are really basic, think qPCR) so I don't think they are that significant.

I think you are severely underestimating yourself or overestimating your competition. If you do great on the boards and clinicals, I think any door is open to you.

 

[Merlin222]

I think you are severely underestimating yourself or overestimating your competition. If you do great on the boards and clinicals, I think any door is open to you.

I will definitely give my best efforts this year! Thanks! Glad to know not all bets are off yet! Edit: even if some are off, still gotta give it all!

 

[masaraksh]

I think you are severely underestimating yourself or overestimating your competition. If you do great on the boards and clinicals, I think any door is open to you.

Can you stop being delusional... I mean, especially with a DO, you damn well must realize that not "every door" is still open to you.

Same here, its very unlikely one can keep doing average and "still have every door open to them"

 

[Donald Juan]

OP, so you're slightly above average student at a "not top 20" USMD school after first year.

You need a good board score and decent clinical grades for competitive specialties. You already have 2-3 pubs--and you can knock out a few more in the next few years--which means you have relatively strong research background. There is no reason (outside of doing average/poorly on step 1) to think that you can't be a competitive applicant for any specialty at this point.

 

[operaman]

Thanks for all the feedback.
Operaman: I appreciate the support. Definitely not the "innately brilliant kind." Don't we all wish so, haha! I'm more of the put in the time type. Definitely behind in my base knowledge though (especially cardiovascular/GI physiology, basic neuro/biochem nutrition, alpha/beta/histamine receptors, etc) and plan to work on strengthening these weakpoints in concepts this summer.

No problem, happy to help.

Just wanted to add one thing in light of this thread: be very careful of the source when heeding advice about whatever field interests you. I think many people give what they believe is good advice (and what may have been good advice before) that may not be completely up to date. Sometimes even highly esteemed faculty will do this without knowing it and give you wonderful advice and perspective...for applying in 2005. I don't claim to have all the answers either, but wanted to put the idea in your head to constantly seek good advice and be wary of the well-intentioned rest.

Personally, I would look to program directors and others in your field who really have their finger on the pulse of the applicant pool and what it takes to be competitive today. Things change so quickly -- just look at the numbers for your field in 'Charting Outcomes' for the past few years and you'll see how much has changed rather quickly. If it's a highly competitive field, note the incredible stats for unmatched applicants. Whenever someone starts advice with, "all you need is _____," I would be very cautious.

My sense is that it will only get worse as we have more medical students than residency positions. There were ~200 AMGs who did not match anywhere at all this cycle and many more who matched to 1-year positions only, so you are very wise to err on the side of working too hard going forward. A couple pubs are nice but you will probably need more and in your field of interest. You need to start networking yesterday. And of course, retooling the academics which you already seem on a path to doing. Just don't let yourself get complacent -- save that for after match day 🙂

 

[Merlin222]

No problem, happy to help.

Just wanted to add one thing in light of this thread: be very careful of the source when heeding advice about whatever field interests you. I think many people give what they believe is good advice (and what may have been good advice before) that may not be completely up to date. Sometimes even highly esteemed faculty will do this without knowing it and give you wonderful advice and perspective...for applying in 2005. I don't claim to have all the answers either, but wanted to put the idea in your head to constantly seek good advice and be wary of the well-intentioned rest.

Personally, I would look to program directors and others in your field who really have their finger on the pulse of the applicant pool and what it takes to be competitive today. Things change so quickly -- just look at the numbers for your field in 'Charting Outcomes' for the past few years and you'll see how much has changed rather quickly. If it's a highly competitive field, note the incredible stats for unmatched applicants. Whenever someone starts advice with, "all you need is _____," I would be very cautious.

My sense is that it will only get worse as we have more medical students than residency positions. There were ~200 AMGs who did not match anywhere at all this cycle and many more who matched to 1-year positions only, so you are very wise to err on the side of working too hard going forward. A couple pubs are nice but you will probably need more and in your field of interest. You need to start networking yesterday. And of course, retooling the academics which you already seem on a path to doing. Just don't let yourself get complacent -- save that for after match day 🙂

Great advice. I've also heard of your tip #1 from a 4th year who matched well. Since the fields change so often, most advice need to be taken with a grain of salt. Also cannot stress the importance of making connections as I'm almost certain I made the cut for the summer opportunity because of a direct recommendation.

 

[AlbinoHawk DO]

Can you stop being delusional... I mean, especially with a DO, you damn well must realize that not "every door" is still open to you.

Same here, its very unlikely one can keep doing average and "still have every door open to them"

What does my degree have to do with anything? I thought OP was an MD student, but even as DOs we have our own residencies. The idea that OP can no longer match a competitive specialty because during first year he had "only" above average grades, an honor and 2 publications is straight up wrong. And when did I say he could keep being average? I said do great on boards and clinical rotations. I mean, are you trolling me or is this the most massive irony by someone arrogant?

 

[Iv3rson]

Just curious are you Muslim?

 

[W19]

So you passed all your classes, honored 1 and you got 2 authorships in big journals and you think you're doing bad? I don't understand.

It's SDN after all. I guess I should drop out of med school now...

 

[Say]

What does my degree have to do with anything? I thought OP was an MD student, but even as DOs we have our own residencies. The idea that OP can no longer match a competitive specialty because during first year he had "only" above average grades, an honor and 2 publications is straight up wrong. And when did I say he could keep being average? I said do great on boards and clinical rotations. I mean, are you trolling me or is this the most massive irony by someone arrogant?

I would disregard him. Either a troll or he is taking "every door" too litereally. I mean virtually no one has doors open to the most competitive training positions in all specialties. OP still has a good chance at matching into the speciality of his choice given future success on Step and clinicals

 

[touchpause13]

Damn OP - coming out and my first year of medical school where the most difficult things I've ever had to do and you did them at the same time AND passes your classes AND got publications.

You are fine, enjoy your summer and come back fresh 2nd year and ready to kill boards.

 

[seminoma]

I've been a long time SDN reader for a while, now looking for some advice. After searching the forums, there seems to be few posts on the subject, but nothing to this specificity.

As an incoming second year, I have been struggling with some personal (self) and family issues over the past year. One of them was the process of coming out (think religion), which surprisingly, took much more time/efforts/brainpower than expected. Spent a ton of time on self understanding/searching. In summary, and with no excuses, life happened.

My school (not a top 20) is graded on honors for preclinical years (not numerical, but in categories. About 1/3 of the class honor each course) and uses that for class rank (with clinical year weighing slightly more). With MS1 courses over and honoring only 1 of them/in conjunction with looking at past match lists from our school, I realized I've dug a rather deep hole for myself for a competitive specialty (will try to be slightly anonymous here, but think on the level of optho, ortho, etc.).

Extracurriculars: a few minor leadership roles
Research: 2 mid-author publications in basic science journals not in the field of interest (but think big 3), a clinical paper coming to fruition in the field of interest, and a very well-known summer research program gig (of all the crazy stuff happening this year, definitely got lucky here)

Study habits: I am self aware of how much effort I put into my classes this year, which is close to none. 2-3 days for mid-exams, and 3-4 days for finals (from scratch). I have managed to stay avg/above avg for most classes, but not enough for honoring (to repeat, getting close doesn't matter because it is not a numerical system, but categorical for grades. However, honoring is important for class rank).

Fortunately, much of the personal issues have been sorted out. I have gained much more self confidence over the past few months as friends have been incredibly supportive of the process. Things are definitely on the positive rise (it's not a sudden magical 'hey everything is fine now' but definitely getting/almost there). I've been a relatively good student academically in the past (college/post college) and know what it takes to do well. I have never studied this little relatively to the course load in the past, i'm a bit disappointed.

Any advice/tips/personal experiences on this would be greatly appreciated. I understand it's now crucial to use this summer to review MS1 materials (i know very little details - have used the little time I spent during first year to try to get the bigger pictures), continue with research, and do the best for second year/need to do well on the steps. Thanks guys!

Don't go back until your personal stuff is worked out.

It is not crucial to review MS1.

 

[W19]

Don't go back until your personal stuff is worked out.

It is not crucial to review MS1.

Are you serious? I have been going over Physio and biochem because I heard they are tested heavily...

 

[seminoma]

Are you serious? I have been going over Physio and biochem because I heard they are tested heavily...

100% serious. Physio takes half a day to a day to learn from scratch for any given organ system anyway. Plus pharm and a decent amount of path always comes back to physio so you'll be reviewing it then as well.

And no, biochem is not tested heavily. Maybe it as in your school exams, but MS1 detail biochem is not tested on step 1. Step 1 biochem is "child with fatigue, failure to thrive, hepatomegaly, and hypoketotic hypoglycemia. What enzyme is most likely dysfunctional?" Then only one answer has anything to do with fat metabolism.

 

[Psai]

Are you serious? I have been going over Physio and biochem because I heard they are tested heavily...

It's like our experience doesn't matter to you guys