Do I need an attention grabbing beginning in personal statement?

[zzto]

1) I want to be a dentist
2) This is why I'll succeed in dental school (academics).
3) Work/Volunteer experience and how it shows my passion to help people and my ability to interact with people.
4) Dental related experience and how my passion would be used in dentistry/conclusion

This is the way my statement currently flows. Writing the last paragraph about dentistry and how my passion to help (shown by work/volunteer paragraph) could be used through dentistry works well into a conclusion, but does this need to be first in my statement instead? Will the reader get bored by my academic paragraph and not even read the rest of the statement?

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[zzto]

*in my personal statement* should be the title, maybe I should learn to proof read 🙂 haha

 

[biochem5]

A possible start is with some kind of dental experience/story or personal experience that really made you want to do dentistry if it fits with your essay outline. Ya also I wouldn't write a lot about academics, because the majority of your app is already academics. I think I put in mine maybe a sentence or two about being able to handle academics because being in the IB program, etc. and I think my sentence was towards the end.

 

[KermitMorgenstein]

Yes, have you ever read someones essay and found yourself bored?

 

[zzto]

Thanks for the advice!