Does it matter if you don't make close friends in preclinical years?

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kayster94

kayster94

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I have 1 semester to go in basic sciences and I can honestly say that I have maybe 1 or 2 people that I'm friends with (not even that close though really), but at least we can meet up once in a while to go over material or just blow off some steam after exams. I just feel like I haven't been able to connect much with anyone else in my class, possibly stemming from the fact that when I'm super stressed I tend to study on my own and not in the main study halls where a lot of people go. There was a group that I was semi-friendly with at one point, but I felt they were on another level than me academically and didn't have to put in as much work to do well. I chose to kind of drift away because they made me more stressed and at times I just felt like I was inferior. Unfortunately, this may have sent the wrong message that I didn't like them and now I feel like a jerk. But honestly my goal from the beginning was to put my head down and do MY personal best, and to do that I've felt that I need to work a harder than others. Not to mention the fact that I've taken out massive amounts of loans whereas many of these people I've mentioned have doctor parents who are paying for everything. To make a long story short here, does it really matter that I most likely haven't made life long friends in the first 2 years of school? I have plenty of friends back home from high school and college who I know I will be tight with for life. For whatever reason it just hasn't happened here.
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why you gotta be that loner gunner

(jk)

but yeah just put your white coat on your tinder pic and flex

(k but really just keep working hard and you'll be fine, and likely make friends during m2/clinical yrs)
 
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Its pretty common, especially with recorded lectures. I think everyone feels this way to an extent.

Some of this is just part of adulthood, to be entirely honest. You don't form those 'friends for life' bonds you do in adolescence so easily. Most of the time you're just friendly with people you work with out of convenience. And friendship just becomes secondary to building relationships/families/kids for most people.
 
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Honestly dont care if i have friends or not in med school im older (29) and i have great friends ive made throughout my life my college buddies high school friends yada yada I could care less about making best friends again in med school Im here to study my ass off and land the residency I want. Dont feel bad you havent made friends just care less about that and work hard toward your goal. Stay close with old friends and always always stay in contact with your family
 
I flew pretty solo during first year - basically just hung out with my then-girlfriend (now-wife) and freaked out about class. I went to a few class-wide events but otherwise spent most of my time with my wife exploring the city that we lived in as we had never lived there before. After that, I made a point to be more social and built relationships that made the experience a whole lot better.
 
I made one close friend in medschool otherwise I could give two sh*ts. I already had solid family/friend relationships before medschool
 
Do what you want. I was the opposite and made some of my closest friends here in medical school that I never made in undergrad because I made so many superficial friendships back then whereas in medical school I kept the amount of friends I had small but that made the relationships more intimate.

I can see people with significant others not really caring about close friendships as much as well.
 
I wasn't one of those guys who couldn't take a piss without his 7 closest friends standing next to him and giving their approval, and as a result, I didn't have a whole lot of med school BFFs in my first 2 years. I survived.

The social scene in MS1-2 is laughable. I viewed it as kids who didn't have enough real fun in college trying to make up for lost time.
 
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Eyeronic said:
I wasn't one of those guys who couldn't take a piss without his 7 closest friends standing next to him and giving their approval, and as a result, I didn't have a whole lot of med school BFFs in my first 2 years. I survived.

The social scene in MS1-2 is laughable. I viewed it as kids who didn't have enough real fun in college trying to make up for lost time.
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A lot of the people that had “real fun” in college didn’t make it to med school though.
 
Not a med student yet - but I’m hoping the responses here are more a reflection of SDN selection bias than real life.
 
Kardio said:
Not a med student yet - but I’m hoping the responses here are more a reflection of SDN selection bias than real life.
Click to expand...
They always are on here. Treat this as more comedic relief with the occasional sprinkling of actual advice and it’ll be much more helpful to you
 
Kardio said:
Not a med student yet - but I’m hoping the responses here are more a reflection of SDN selection bias than real life.
Click to expand...

I would say it depends on you. Most schools pretty much force you to make friends during orientation, and how much you keep up with people you meet during orientation outside of school basically is your friend group. Then, once school starts, you realize some people are massive gunners then you might want to change your friend group, and after your first block, I think most people have their own "cliques".
 
scoopdaboop said:
I would say it depends on you. Most schools pretty much force you to make friends during orientation, and how much you keep up with people you meet during orientation outside of school basically is your friend group. Then, once school starts, you realize some people are massive gunners then you might want to change your friend group, and after your first block, I think most people have their own "cliques".
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Gotchu - 10/10 profile pic btw
 
You should make as many friends in med school as you can. Having friends in different specialties can come in handy when you need an unofficial (personal) consultation later in your career.
 
I liked having my group of regular study buddies. Helped me stay accountable knowing my friends were on campus studying. On days when no one else was going to be up there, I slacked off pretty hard.
 
I made some of my closest friends in med school and consider them to be like family. It’s nice to have that group of people willing to do shots with you on a Wednesday afternoon after getting relentlessly pimped by your attending all morning
 
literally none of my friends that i have now are from my preclinical years. You'll make more friends during med school and residency probably.
 
kayster94 said:
I have 1 semester to go in basic sciences and I can honestly say that I have maybe 1 or 2 people that I'm friends with (not even that close though really), but at least we can meet up once in a while to go over material or just blow off some steam after exams. I just feel like I haven't been able to connect much with anyone else in my class, possibly stemming from the fact that when I'm super stressed I tend to study on my own and not in the main study halls where a lot of people go. There was a group that I was semi-friendly with at one point, but I felt they were on another level than me academically and didn't have to put in as much work to do well. I chose to kind of drift away because they made me more stressed and at times I just felt like I was inferior. Unfortunately, this may have sent the wrong message that I didn't like them and now I feel like a jerk. But honestly my goal from the beginning was to put my head down and do MY personal best, and to do that I've felt that I need to work a harder than others. Not to mention the fact that I've taken out massive amounts of loans whereas many of these people I've mentioned have doctor parents who are paying for everything. To make a long story short here, does it really matter that I most likely haven't made life long friends in the first 2 years of school? I have plenty of friends back home from high school and college who I know I will be tight with for life. For whatever reason it just hasn't happened here.
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I'm in a similar situation in that I had tons of friends, all like-minded, in college.
In medical school, as a M1, I did have a solid group of friends. But we drifted apart. Not due to anyone's fault per say, but life just happened. We got busy w/ clinicals, each in different pathways. People got married, had kids, etc. In a way it may represent the natural course of friendships at this time in life. We keep in touch occasionally, this def is not a case of falling out.
And some people whom I originally connected with, way back when...did end up being gunners...who made me feel more stressed. Always bragging about being top rank, having great grades, having so much research, having an amazing Step 1 score etc. Again no falling out happened but I don't hang out with them as much because it stresses me out.
So I'm at the point where I too only really have 1-2 people I talk to frequently. Many (but not all) in our class have come off to me as fake, or gunners, etc. It's definitely lonely. I miss my big college group. I've accepted that upon graduation my closest friends will still be the college buddies
 
lol. Grade school, made no life long friends. High school, no life long friends. College, no life long friends. Grad school, no life long friends. Here we comes medical school 😉
 
Sheeshtopher said:
lol. Grade school, made no life long friends. High school, no life long friends. College, no life long friends. Grad school, no life long friends. Here we comes medical school 😉
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Not sure if this is troll or not but I actually relate to this LOL. Honestly I hope medical school might be different!
 
lm1106 said:
Not sure if this is troll or not but I actually relate to this LOL. Honestly I hope medical school might be different!
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Not trolling. I moved around a lot as a kid, watched anime (e.g. would download Naruto when the episodes would be fansubbed), and was a little overweight. I was one of two Asians growing up in grade school and high school. Anime has taken off nowadays which is amazing. In high school and in college I was the guy that knew everyone, but knowing everyone means not hanging out in a single friend group which means not creating close relationships with anyone. Hopefully it will be different in med school 🙂
 
Kardio said:
Not a med student yet - but I’m hoping the responses here are more a reflection of SDN selection bias than real life.
Click to expand...
It’s interesting reading these because I’ve been in other threads on here where the responses are the exact opposite. As a fellow M1, I would honestly guesstimate that there are maybe 1-2 people in my class that truly don’t have a solid group of friends, or even just one friend, and even that is a generous estimate because I personally don’t know anyone in my class whose a total loner.
 
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