eating disorder and how to approach/explain it

[intj]

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Hi 🙂 I've been lurking this community for awhile, and since this community is so helpful, I thought I would seek some advice for myself. Hopefully this is the right place to post my question.

I am a senior in college and only recently decided to go to med school. Actually, I have had dreams of becoming a doctor for a really long time, even applying to a 7-yr ba/md program as a HS senior (which I got into and turned down to attend my current institution... a decision I currently regret now that I actually have to APPLY to MS!).

As a freshman in college, I proceeded to have a TERRIBLE first semester academically, socially, and in every other way, during which I was completely overwhelmed and consumed by an eating disorder and depression. I had suffered with both since my sophomore year of high school, but in college, it took a big turn for the worst, and by the end of the semester, I was in the hospital taking incompletes in half my classes.

I ended up taking spring semester of my freshman year off on a medical leave in order to get some intensive treatment. During my sophomore and junior years, I abandoned my med school hopes because I didn't feel ready to be taking on a heavier workload and the additional stress that that might bring on. Last year, after 2 solid years in recovery (and a better GPA), I decided that my heart was still set on med school, so here I am, starting to take my med school requirements again and will complete them after I graduate with my degree (BS in psychology). My cumulative GPA is ~3.65 or so, and my science GPA is probably lower. BUT, this (relatively) low number is due to the outlier of my freshman year, and if I don't count that semester, my GPA is higher by >0.1. See upwards trend as follows:

Freshman fall: 3.0 (was not here for freshman spring, so I'm graduating in 7 semesters)
Sophomore: 3.7
Junior: 3.83
Senior: 3.79

That being said, I am a little confused as to how much I need to mention my ED/depression. They would obviously explain my lower GPA freshman year, but I don't want to raise the adcoms' suspicions that I might be a liability, or that I might not be able to handle med school. On the other hand, I wrote an article in my school newspaper during my junior year about eating disorders, and this article got picked up by 2 blogs as well (both ED awareness and advocacy blogs) so my name is now associated with 3 articles on eating disorders if you google me. Thus, if I get googled, the info might come out anyway, but I'm not sure how likely a med school adcom googles their applicants.

Would it be acceptable to allude to my medical leave and poor freshman year grades as being due to "illness," and not "mental illness"? I feel like adcoms, and society in general, is much more accepting of illness of the non-mental variety than something like an eating disorder (which is really a shame, unfortunately). On my transcript, it just lists a nondescript "leave of absence" where my classes and grades are supposed to be. I understand that if I *do* address this, whether in a personal statement or an interview, I have to do it cautiously, and I will certainly know to be tactful if I do.

So I guess my question is... should I mention my eating disorder and its impact and how much healthier I am CURRENTLY or do I skip that in its entirety and just make some allusion to being "sick" freshman year and thus having to leave school for treatment, knowing that if I get googled, an account of my ED is readily associated with my name?

Thanks for your time 🙂 and sorry this was a little tl;dr

 

[PetitAllegro]

First of all, congrats on your recovery. I know EDs can be pretty horrific, so huge props to you for that.

But in regards to your question - no, I wouldn't bring it up if I were you. There's so much stigma attached to it that might have a negative impact on your application. I would stick with a more general 'I was ill, I was dealing with some personal issues' type of answer. If they google you and find the articles, that's completely out of your hands, but I don't think it would be the smartest course of action to hand them potential ammunition.

 

[armybound]

I would probably leave it at "personal issues" or something similar. If they feel like pushing the subject in an interview, which I doubt they will, I'd then explain the situation.

A low freshman year GPA is not that uncommon, and you've done very well since then. Your overall GPA is good, so they probably won't even think twice about it.

 

[intj]

Thanks, armybound and petitallegro, for the feedback. My initial gut feeling was also to leave out any "explanation," and let my freshman year 3.0 stand for what it is, but the reassurance is helpful 😎

 

[pharaoh88]

Thanks, armybound and petitallegro, for the feedback. My initial gut feeling was also to leave out any "explanation," and let my freshman year 3.0 stand for what it is, but the reassurance is helpful 😎

One more in to say this is probably something better left unsaid. Certainly you have an impressive story and should be commended for it. Perhaps many adcoms would feel the same, but you don't want to run the risk of others viewing you as "unstable" if only due to the stigma associated with EDs. Since your other grades are excellent, it shouldn't be a problem. Good luck! 🙂

 

[mcatismydrug]

Crazy, I just posted something about the same issue. I agree with them. You should gloss over it if you can (since it was freshman year). My ED took ahold during my 4rth year, and I ended up with 3 F's and a bunch of W's. I will still have a respectable gpa and MCAT. I am going back to school in the fall, and I believe I can show a new record of stability (I had mostly A's before I got sick) any thoughts on how to deal with this? Is it TMI to explain that my mother was/is anorexic, and I was raised hearing those ideas everyday? I don't feel that this makes me a liability. I think it shows tenacity that I could overcome something like this and still go after my dreams. My gpa (sans awful year) and MCAT score should be enough to prove to them I'm smart enough, right?

 

[DrArete]

.

 

[GellaBella]

I think it is best to say something like you had to withdraw from school due to an illness that you received treatment for, and has been resolved.

No sense in raising unnecessary red flags by bringing something personal like that right out in the open on your application

 

[armybound]

The PS and other application should always be positive and highlight the good parts of who you are. Don't mention the low GPA or anything else at all.

 

[mcatismydrug]

From a strict standpoint of gaining entry into medical school, the correct thing to do is to avoid all mention of "personal issues" especially mental health issues. There are very good and legitimate reasons why an ADCOM would decide that it is not a good idea to accept someone with that background.

However, from a standpoint of self interest, anyone who has had such a problem needs to be aware they are putting themselves at a very serious risk of relapse, either during med school or during residency. Depression, and other related conditions like eating disorders, are never cured, they are only managed. Despite how good a narrative it may seem to you to be bouncing back and striving forward, medicine is an extremely high pressure lifestyle that can wreak havoc on anyone, and stress/sleep/competition are primary triggers for a range of mental illnesses. It does no one any good, not society, not to yourself, to have some med student break down, or a resident wash out, or yet another doctor commit suicide.

Look at what happened to this guy, he pushed forward, and ending up attempting suicide after washing out of residency, and is now bankrupt:

http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=708029

Forgive me, but I think it is bad advice to tell someone that because they went through a horrible (in my case unavoidable?) experience, and came out better on the other side that they shouldn't try/wouldn't be able to hack it in a competitive environment. I don't mean to be defensive, and perhaps that is exactly what I'm doing, but I have read story after story about ppl in med school addicted to adderall, having severe depression, having children, chronic diseases, and SEVERE anxiety. I have SEEN "healthy" med students binge drinking, and smoking pot during the school year. I don't see how any of these people have a better chance at success than someone who is just as intelligent, but went through an illness and is now perfectly functional. **** happens. Yes... *sigh* I know ED's are never "cured" but they can be controlled, just as any of those other problems can. Many people with past ED problems have gone on to be very successful. I don't think anyone's life/potential should be squandered on the chance that they could get sick again. Am I alone in my thought process here?

 

[GoLytely]

Forgive me, but I think it is bad advice to tell someone that because they went through a horrible (in my case unavoidable?) experience, and came out better on the other side that they shouldn't try/wouldn't be able to hack it in a competitive environment. I don't mean to be defensive, and perhaps that is exactly what I'm doing, but I have read story after story about ppl in med school addicted to adderall, having severe depression, having children, chronic diseases, and SEVERE anxiety. I have SEEN "healthy" med students binge drinking, and smoking pot during the school year. I don't see how any of these people have a better chance at success than someone who is just as intelligent, but went through an illness and is now perfectly functional. **** happens. Yes... *sigh* I know ED's are never "cured" but they can be controlled, just as any of those other problems can. Many people with past ED problems have gone on to be very successful. I don't think anyone's life/potential should be squandered on the chance that they could get sick again. Am I alone in my thought process here?

You continue to simply refer to it as having been "sick," as if you were talking about rheumatoid arthritis or crohn's disease. This isn't a comparable issue. You're speaking of a psychiatric illness, and, alarmingly, medical school puts many students at risk for new and/or recurring psychiatric disorders. You seem to be hitting on how it isn't fair that anyone would hold this against you, but, putting yourself in the shoes of the admissions committee, why take too many chances on students which may end up falling ill again, throwing down a string of F's or failing a board exam?

My point is not to be harsh but to remind you that there is an enormous number of gifted, evidently fit-to-perform applicants that you'll have to compete with. I would keep this to yourself when applying. As in, entirely to yourself. Your GPA isn't bad enough to warrant explanation.

 

[mcatismydrug]

You continue to simply refer to it as having been "sick," as if you were talking about rheumatoid arthritis or crohn's disease. This isn't a comparable issue. You're speaking of a psychiatric illness, and, alarmingly, medical school puts many students at risk for new and/or recurring psychiatric disorders. You seem to be hitting on how it isn't fair that anyone would hold this against you, but, putting yourself in the shoes of the admissions committee, why take too many chances on students which may end up falling ill again, throwing down a string of F's or failing a board exam?

My point is not to be harsh but to remind you that there is an enormous number of gifted, evidently fit-to-perform applicants that you'll have to compete with. I would keep this to yourself when applying. As in, entirely to yourself. Your GPA isn't bad enough to warrant explanation.

I see where you're coming from. I do. I guess I'm just saying, something like this doesn't mean you're permanently handicapped. Although yes, a lot of people/admissions included, would be likely to see it that way. And I appreciate you taking your time to respond. In my case, I have a year of W's and 3 F's on an otherwise pristine record. If it's wisest to keep the truth to myself, what do I tell them when they ask me what the hell happened?

 

[polyboy112]

Having just been through the process, I'd like to add a couple words. I suffered from serious depression during college and mentioned it in the overcoming difficulties type essays that just about every school has. I never made it the focus of my essays, nor did I avoid it or beat around the bush. Adcoms were generally very supportive. That said, my grades never suffered (though my ec's did), so it may have only been a positive because I got through the depression without any drop in numeric performance. If you do decide to talk about it, try to maintain your distance from your freshman self and talk about the situation objectively (both the positives of what you did and what you could do better). It is this objectivity (and avoidance of melodrama at all costs) that can help show adcoms your maturation and the difference between you then and now.

 

[intj]

From the OP:

Thanks for all the helpful comments! It seems like the right thing to do is just NOT mention it. If prompted during an interview about my freshman grades and why I took a semester off and what I did during my semester off, I plan to just say that I got "sick" halfway through and had to leave school the next semester to get better.

I understand that med school brings on a slew of stressors--not only will I be held to high standards academically, but I will likely be amongst a group of really, really smart and type-A people. Though I can't know for sure, I hope I am being honest with myself when I say that I'm ready for the challenge. I know that being a successful doctor--a successful ANYTHING--is going to be impossible if I have an ED/depression, so I fully intend to keep recovery as my first personal priority if/when I do go to med school.

I always feel compelled to mention my past because I feel like my cGPA would prevent me from getting into the more competitive programs. But I understand now that using my psychiatric illnesses as justification for my low grades won't compensate for them, as much as it seems like any extra sympathy from the adcoms might help. I'm also taking a year off before applying (working part-time at a biotech company, taking pre med classes part time, preparing for MCAT, shadowing, etc), so hopefully by the time I apply, my freshman year grades will be so far removed so as to carry less weight!

Thanks for the help :]

 

[intj]

In my case, I have a year of W's and 3 F's on an otherwise pristine record. If it's wisest to keep the truth to myself, what do I tell them when they ask me what the hell happened?

Would it be possible to leave the information out, and during interviews, explain that you got sick that year and probably should have withdrew from school because of your illness, but you made the wrong decision to try to finish out the semester? You wouldn't need the mention the specific nature of your illness. And of course, mention that you ever since you have recovered, you have been back on track. Your otherwise pristine record demonstrates that your Ws and Fs are truly due to special circumstances!

 

[mcatismydrug]

Would it be possible to leave the information out, and during interviews, explain that you got sick that year and probably should have withdrew from school because of your illness, but you made the wrong decision to try to finish out the semester? You wouldn't need the mention the specific nature of your illness. And of course, mention that you ever since you have recovered, you have been back on track. Your otherwise pristine record demonstrates that your Ws and Fs are truly due to special circumstances!

Yes, this is good advice, that is probably what I'll end up doing. I actually talked to my pre-med adviser about this today, and she told me to be upfront with what actually happened, because if I try to be vague they will think I'm trying to hide something 🙄. *sigh* She said the most important thing is showing that it was a one time thing, and that I've taken steps towards a healthy mental and physical lifestyle that evidence themselves in my performance starting in the fall. Also, don't show up to the interview weighing 100 lbs. An attempt at ED humor? 😱 I'll figure it out. Thanks for the advice!

 

[DrArete]

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[UmichKat]

intj, Good luck with everything. I'm applying to medical schools now, and I'm actually using overcoming an eating disorder as a sort of "experiential diversity" I can bring to various medical schools. It's definitely a risk, but I think if you can spin it into a positive experience and explain why/how you overcame it (so that your chances of relapse are slimmer), there shouldn't be a huge problem with mentioning it.

 

[Doodledog]

I am going to give a slightly different perspective on this. Keep in mind that, as always, I am speaking for myself. My opinion, just like the opinion of anyone else on this forum, including other adcom members, is not necessarily to be taken as the opinion of most or all members of admissions committees. No one can provide that information.

Having given that disclaimer, which I feel I must always give here on SDN, I would ask those who have a history of an eating disorder how comfortable they feel talking about what happened AND how much of a recovery they have made by the time of application. This is actually a very common scenerio and veteran adcom members will be familiar with it. If you had a bad semester due to an eating disorder, recovered and are fully recovered, AND are comfortable talking about it, then there is no reason not to discuss it.

Although PS should be positive, one can include this in a PS and still be very positive. If you do not include it, there will be more doubt about what happened. Again, if you include it, then it WILL be part of your interview discussions with SOME adcom members and you need to be comfortable with this.

Any f/u from me on this issue should be in Confidential Consult. I encourage those who wish to post this type of issue and NOT receive feedback that says "don't go to medical school if you have this history" to post in CC. If you post here, then you will also have to get those opinions and deal with them.

Thanks

Tildy

 

[AMOLE624]

Hey, so I haven't read all of the responses, but I identify highly with your situation. I was diagnosed with bulimia my sophomore year of college and was anorexic my freshman year of both high school and college. It never seriously affected my grades to the point where I dropped below a 3.5, although I'm sure I would have done better without those troubles- and been so much happier. anyway, one of the med schools I applied to (and was ultimately wait listed at- stony brook), asked "what's the hardest challenge you've ever faced?" or something along those lines for one of their secondary essays. well, I thought it would be dishonest to talk about anything other than the ED, and it came up in both of my interviews- they were impressed that I wrote something so heart felt. I'm not sure if it held me back ultimately, though, as I got into medical schools ranked much more highly than SB- and these were also schools that I DIDN'T mention my ED. I think that it probably held me back in the admissions process.
My guy friend wrote about his ED to tufts, and while he received no interview there, he was ultimately accepted to some ivies, where he also didn't mention it- so I would NOT mention it aside from "personal circumstances" unless they really push you to mention it. just my 2 cents. please feel free to message me

 

[DocBell]

You continue to simply refer to it as having been "sick," as if you were talking about rheumatoid arthritis or crohn's disease. This isn't a comparable issue. You're speaking of a psychiatric illness, and, alarmingly, medical school puts many students at risk for new and/or recurring psychiatric disorders. You seem to be hitting on how it isn't fair that anyone would hold this against you, but, putting yourself in the shoes of the admissions committee, why take too many chances on students which may end up falling ill again, throwing down a string of F's or failing a board exam?

My point is not to be harsh but to remind you that there is an enormous number of gifted, evidently fit-to-perform applicants that you'll have to compete with. I would keep this to yourself when applying. As in, entirely to yourself. Your GPA isn't bad enough to warrant explanation.

👍 To add.. I have a friend who suffers from a chronic medical condition (physically based) and its not like it doesn't hurt her application. Med schools aren't discriminating against mental illness. They are trying to take the most qualified person for the job AND the person most likely to have no issues with the stressors of medical school. Unfortunately, people with chronic conditions (mental or otherwise) don't always fit the bill. It sucks but it's life. I am not saying the ED people from this thread shouldn't try (my friend is going for it as well) but I definitely wouldn't play it up in your application.

 

[IDoIt4Love]

in your shoes I would simply say that I was on medical leave due to illness and leave it at that. i don't know if they're really allowed to push you for details beyond that, as part of a non-discriminatory policy. yes, there is a stigma and i wouldn't take the chance of being more open about it than that.