EM schedule and your SO

[Brorthopedic]

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I'm curious about the relationship between an EM physician and their SO when it comes to free time, especially those with partners that have a typical 8-5 job. Would you say it turns out fine or is it one of those things that sucks but it is what it is?

I have this preconceived notion that most of your time off is spent while your SO is at work which can get a bit annoying after a while.

 

[WilcoWorld]

I'm curious about the relationship between an EM physician and their SO when it comes to free time, especially those with partners that have a typical 8-5 job. Would you say it turns out fine or is it one of those things that sucks but it is what it is?

I have this preconceived notion that most of your time off is spent while your SO is at work which can get a bit annoying after a while.

There was enough flexibility for my SO and me to have lots of fun outings...then we had kids. Now we've got to plan time together a week or two out or else it doesn't happen. We make it work just fine, but the point is that EM is a "lifestyle" specialty only for those with otherwise unencumbered schedules.

 

[Brorthopedic]

There was enough flexibility for my SO and me to have lots of fun outings...then we had kids. Now we've got to plan time together a week or two out or else it doesn't happen. We make it work just fine, but the point is that EM is a "lifestyle" specialty only for those with otherwise unencumbered schedules.

And how does your wife feel about the schedule now? With the kids and all.

 

[EMedGrrl]

For my SO and family, it has been the unpredictable/erratic nature of the schedule that is the hardest. We have found that night/evening/weekend shifts work fine for couples and families with young kids, but the more predictable you can make your schedule (easier at some places than others), the better for everyone. Once the kids get to HS it gets much harder - you can't take them out of school when you have a random day off and want to do something fun, and almost all of their activities that you want to attend will be evenings and weekends.

 

[engineeredout]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

 

[Apollyon]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Or, out of sight, out of mind?

 

[Angry Birds]

I'm curious about the relationship between an EM physician and their SO when it comes to free time, especially those with partners that have a typical 8-5 job. Would you say it turns out fine or is it one of those things that sucks but it is what it is?

I have this preconceived notion that most of your time off is spent while your SO is at work which can get a bit annoying after a while.

I was just talking about this the other day: the EM schedule is tough when your spouse works an 8-5 job. You will feel guilty when you are always working evenings and weekends, and missing out on family gatherings/events because you're working. In my case, we hang out with a bunch of couples, and my wife will often have to go to these get togethers without me... And these other people think I'm working all the time due to this, even though it's just that my off days are different than theirs.

It's part of the pound of flesh that EM takes from you.

 

[Hercules]

I imagine EM would be very difficult with a 9-5 SO. Having an SO with a flexible work schedule or no job outside the house at all, works pretty well. You will still miss some weekend/evening activities, but once all the kids are school aged you probably get more one-on-one time with your SO than most of your friends with 9-5 jobs.


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[bravotwozero]

My wife works part time, so has two weekdays off in addition to the weekend. That allows us some overlap even during weekdays, plus I get two weekends off a month, plus I have some morning shifts on the weekdays too. If she were on a full-time schedule, that would for sure be tough.

 

[TooMuchResearch]

We don't have that many overlapping days off unless I specifically request them, but that is partially because I structure my days off requests around childcare.

 

[dchristismi]

You have to plan creatively, for sure.

We haven't done a great job of melding schedules in the last couple months between his (relatively) new position and my changing gigs. We're actually going to sit down this week and try to plan off days. Conveniently, he makes his department's schedule and I'm pretty much an independent contractor at this point... When he had a clearly rotating schedule, it was easy to do (4 x 10s) but lately he's trying to work around coworkers, which makes it more challenging. We don't have offspring of our own either (his are grown), which also helps. Still, it's quite possible to go for several days without seeing each other.

That he's in medicine helps a lot, but it isn't perfect. Or maybe, because he knows exactly what my career is like (he's a former medic, now critical care/IR/charge RN) it helps. Regardless, when his stupid pager goes off, I am very glad it's not mine.

 

[GeneralVeers]

Mine tells me to stay in TX as long as possible, and to just send money back.

The nice thing about doing locums is that I can work fewer shifts, so it means I get more full days at home without any work.

 

[Angry Birds]

Mine tells me to stay in TX as long as possible, and to just send money back.

bwahahhaa

 

[Brorthopedic]

I appreciate the responses fellas, it was very helpful.