Emails in med school

[OpalOnyx]

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Checking both my email accounts has been driving me a bit crazy, plus responding. Does anyone use very curt emails (just a few words or one line) and does the person on the other end ever take offense? Is it considered unprofessional? Would love to adopt a new highly abbreviated way of replying.

 

[DrBowtie]

Depends on the recipient. Professors will usually get a lengthier reply from me, but I expect curtness from them. My peers get short and sweet.

 

[OveractiveBrain]

Checking both my email accounts has been driving me a bit crazy, plus responding. Does anyone use very curt emails (just a few words or one line) and does the person on the other end ever take offense? Is it considered unprofessional? Would love to adopt a new highly abbreviated way of replying.

I am going to approach this in a far more philosophical way than you probably every intended. But, take it from me, manipulation and motivation are deeper and more meaningful than most people care to realize.

Let me see if I can put it into your perspective. You check your email every day. You probably have 15-30 unread emails every day. Ten of them are spam. The World of Watches or Woot accounts, right? You probably don't even want to read those, so you just delete them. Ten of them are from your classmates, generally not pertaining to you. You might read them if the topic is interesting or pertains to an interest group or something. Ten of them actually require your attention, your reply, some vested amount of time to actually right an email. Some days are better than others, but 10 is pretty standard. Sound like you?

Analyze how difficult it REALLY is to answer those 10 emails. They take may be 5 minutes a piece. Maybe. How hard is it to start with their name, include a signature at the bottom, and then write 3-4 lines that really make them feel that you cared to respond? I have a suspicion that 10 is a lot. But even still, over the course of the day, 50 minutes to manage all important communications. Is that really that bad?

Let's look at it from the person who receives your email's perspective. Even take a look at some of the posts on SDN. Do people like getting curt emails? When you get a curt email do YOU get the impression that the person cared about you? When you want something from them, are they going to give you then 5 minutes your question deserves?

Here's the deal. Its one of the teachings of 7 Habits of Highly Effective people. If you save time now by writing a short, curt email, you sacrifice any long term potential you have with that person. If you spend time now, though it may feel like a pain, though it may feel like its stealing your time, though it may feel like you could be doing so many other things, you are cultivating future relationships.

This is hard. You see no immediate pay off. When you get a payoff down the road, you don't even realize that its a payoff. There's no quid pro quo. If you DONT get a payoff down the road for being curt, you don't feel the lost potential. What you see, what you feel, is how LONG it takes to write EACH and EVERY EMAIL, EACH and EVERY DAY. So, if you are like most people, you go for the immediate satisfaction, the early release. And you feel good. But I will tell you that cultivating relationships, no matter how small or insignificant, that is, being PROactive will make your life rich and full. Succumbing to the needs in front of you may be rewarding now, but they won't be later.

Hierachy of communication. (1) if you want the utmost connection, the most personal communication, and you want to work things out right now; that is, when you are done with the communication a solution or agreement has been reached, with all questions answered. Use the phone. (2) If you want a quick note, just a "what's up" or "where y'at?" or "what was the score" and you don't want invested time or emotion, and you generally want a response right away, use a text. (3) If you want to get things down clearly, give the person time to respond and think about what's going on, and invest some time and thought into it, use the email. (4) if you are on safari in Africa and there's no technology, write a letter and snailmail it.

Bottom line: don't pour your soul into every word in your email, but spend the extra 2.5 minutes to show the other person you care, build the relationship and reap the benefits later on

 

[OpalOnyx]

I am going to approach this in a far more philosophical way than you probably every intended. But, take it from me, manipulation and motivation are deeper and more meaningful than most people care to realize.

Let me see if I can put it into your perspective. You check your email every day. You probably have 15-30 unread emails every day. Ten of them are spam. The World of Watches or Woot accounts, right? You probably don't even want to read those, so you just delete them. Ten of them are from your classmates, generally not pertaining to you. You might read them if the topic is interesting or pertains to an interest group or something. Ten of them actually require your attention, your reply, some vested amount of time to actually right an email. Some days are better than others, but 10 is pretty standard. Sound like you?

Analyze how difficult it REALLY is to answer those 10 emails. They take may be 5 minutes a piece. Maybe. How hard is it to start with their name, include a signature at the bottom, and then write 3-4 lines that really make them feel that you cared to respond? I have a suspicion that 10 is a lot. But even still, over the course of the day, 50 minutes to manage all important communications. Is that really that bad?

Let's look at it from the person who receives your email's perspective. Even take a look at some of the posts on SDN. Do people like getting curt emails? When you get a curt email do YOU get the impression that the person cared about you? When you want something from them, are they going to give you then 5 minutes your question deserves?

Here's the deal. Its one of the teachings of 7 Habits of Highly Effective people. If you save time now by writing a short, curt email, you sacrifice any long term potential you have with that person. If you spend time now, though it may feel like a pain, though it may feel like its stealing your time, though it may feel like you could be doing so many other things, you are cultivating future relationships.

This is hard. You see no immediate pay off. When you get a payoff down the road, you don't even realize that its a payoff. There's no quid pro quo. If you DONT get a payoff down the road for being curt, you don't feel the lost potential. What you see, what you feel, is how LONG it takes to write EACH and EVERY EMAIL, EACH and EVERY DAY. So, if you are like most people, you go for the immediate satisfaction, the early release. And you feel good. But I will tell you that cultivating relationships, no matter how small or insignificant, that is, being PROactive will make your life rich and full. Succumbing to the needs in front of you may be rewarding now, but they won't be later.

Hierachy of communication. (1) if you want the utmost connection, the most personal communication, and you want to work things out right now; that is, when you are done with the communication a solution or agreement has been reached, with all questions answered. Use the phone. (2) If you want a quick note, just a "what's up" or "where y'at?" or "what was the score" and you don't want invested time or emotion, and you generally want a response right away, use a text. (3) If you want to get things down clearly, give the person time to respond and think about what's going on, and invest some time and thought into it, use the email. (4) if you are on safari in Africa and there's no technology, write a letter and snailmail it.

Bottom line: don't pour your soul into every word in your email, but spend the extra 2.5 minutes to show the other person you care, build the relationship and reap the benefits later on

That was illuminating... thanks!

 

[sindadel]

I would also point out that brief doesn't have to be curt. Use of politeness words smooths over a lot of rough edges...

 

[OpalOnyx]

I have trouble with these etiquette related things.... more than I should or should think about it. And then in emails, there's the whole "should I use first name" or do I have to call this person Mr. so and so or Ms. so and so. For med school personnel. And I'm in the South so I guess I should err on the conservative side for basically everything... but that's not really my personality so I don't know. I just want to be free to be myself and other people should have the choice to accept or not. I'm really sick of trying to please people in a people profession 😛

 

[runfastnow]

I have trouble with these etiquette related things.... more than I should or should think about it. And then in emails, there's the whole "should I use first name" or do I have to call this person Mr. so and so or Ms. so and so. For med school personnel. And I'm in the South so I guess I should err on the conservative side for basically everything... but that's not really my personality so I don't know. I just want to be free to be myself and other people should have the choice to accept or not. I'm really sick of trying to please people in a people profession 😛

Follow the advice of Overactive on this one. You have plenty of room to be yourself while also being respectful of those above you on the food chain, and those on equal or lower footing for that matter. Even if you feel being curt will let you be you, a simple "Dr./Mr./Mrs. ____:" (or the person's first name if you are classmates) at the beginning of an e-mail will go a long way to make you look professional and respectful, regardless of where you are in the country, even if you think typing those ~10-15 characters are a waste of time and "not your personality".

 

[OpalOnyx]

Follow the advice of Overactive on this one. You have plenty of room to be yourself while also being respectful of those above you on the food chain, and those on equal or lower footing for that matter. Even if you feel being curt will let you be you, a simple "Dr./Mr./Mrs. ____:" (or the person's first name if you are classmates) at the beginning of an e-mail will go a long way to make you look professional and respectful, regardless of where you are in the country, even if you think typing those ~10-15 characters are a waste of time and "not your personality".

Even in the corporate world, people use first names. I think it's ridiculous really that I have to address every person as Mr/Mrs. It, in my opinion, alienates people with this whole "power dynamic" than bringing them closer.

anyways, I agree I guess it's better to be more respectful than not... whatever.

 

[Longshanks]

Even in the corporate world, people use first names. I think it's ridiculous really that I have to address every person as Mr/Mrs. It, in my opinion, alienates people with this whole "power dynamic" than bringing them closer.

anyways, I agree I guess it's better to be more respectful than not... whatever.

There's nothing wrong with using Mr., Ms., or Mrs. It's their name, and it's respectful. You can still be personal. Maybe I'm from the northeast, but it just seems to be the proper thing to do. I personally don't like how "informal" communication has become for most people in a professional environment, at least initially, but if you are comfortable with people or have gotten to know them, then use their first name if you'd like or if that's what they prefer. Dr. is a title, so again it confers respect, and don't think of it as a "power dynamic" but rather being polite to others.

I think for initial contacts, use titles. If you know them well in person or communicate often, use a first name.

Don't compare it to the corporate world, which is now a mess of casual Fridays, ironicly themed parties, and *****s failing once great companies and bombing the American economy - so don't take guidance from them.

 

[EgotiStick]

For the docs, professors, etc: Err on the side of formality.

The PI I used to do research with actually made fun of me for always starting emails "Dr. ________" instead of using his first name. Even if I did it over again, I'd still start my emails that way and take the joking abuse. Its just a matter of respect.

If you honestly have to figure out how to start emails to your peers...well, it may be time to start medicating for that OCD my friend.

 

[OveractiveBrain]

For the docs, professors, etc: Err on the side of formality.

The PI I used to do research with actually made fun of me for always starting emails "Dr. ________" instead of using his first name. Even if I did it over again, I'd still start my emails that way and take the joking abuse. Its just a matter of respect.

If you honestly have to figure out how to start emails to your peers...well, it may be time to start medicating for that OCD my friend.

I actually purposefully did this in person. I don't mind becoming familiar with "one greater than my station." Med students call residents by first name, residents can call chiefs by first name, attendings call each other by first names. But I would do it as a matter of DISrespect (I've changed my ways, I don't still do this) but I would use a professor's first name, not to be personal, but to indicate my lack of respect for them. Using titles is always appropriate with people you don't know, people who could be older than you, and superiors.

What I think you're getting at is trying to avoid the "Dear Home Owner" or "Current Resident, You've WON!" spammery you get all the time. For physicians, I always use Dr whatever unless I actually know them, they have told me to use their first name, and they are not greater than one above my station.

I am in teh south (from the northeast) and it is an expectation that elders, regardless of how below your station, are to be addressed as Mister or Miss. But its ok to do Ms First Name or Mister First Name. Its part of the culture, and I embrace it. It makes the person on the other end feel good about themselves and avoids the discomfort of choosing formal or informal.

There is a balance, of course. For people familiar to you, you want to portray that "i care about you" mentality, so the more personal the better. People who you have invested a lot of emotional energy in already can tolerate a first name, a curt email. To use a formal title might actually be insulting.

But people without that emotional investment will expect (and respect) the extra courtesy. It is the first thing they see from you, and it says "i care about you" by acknowledging their station, their title. If the first thing they think is "who is this spunky STUDENT referring to ME by my first name?" you don't get anywhere.

 

[mvenus929]

But I would do it as a matter of DISrespect (I've changed my ways, I don't still do this) but I would use a professor's first name, not to be personal, but to indicate my lack of respect for them.

Eh. We (as in students at my school) call one professor by her initials, unless we're directly addressing her (in which case we call her Dr. So-and-so). Mostly because she signs her e-mails that way. We call another professor by her first name, because it's so much less of a mouthful than her full name (and a lot less difficult to say), and we feel we've bonded with her. Most everyone else we refer to by last name only in conversation (Smith did such-and-such, rather than Dr. or Mr. Smith).

In terms of e-mails, my e-mails are only short and sweet if it's something like an RSVP.

 

[Daedra22]

You mentioned that you check more than one email. I would recommend using - if you don't already use one - an email client. I personally use Mozilla Thunderbird. I can check my school email and personal email at the same time, no entering passwords or hopping between websites. It's also easier to save important emails and access them offline.

 

[OveractiveBrain]

You mentioned that you check more than one email. I would recommend using - if you don't already use one - an email client. I personally use Mozilla Thunderbird. I can check my school email and personal email at the same time, no entering passwords or hopping between websites. It's also easier to save important emails and access them offline.

This works for a lot of people. And is a great recommendation.

Personally, I like to keep "business" emails (my edu address) and my "personal" emails (gmail) separate. It sets me in the right "mode." In gmail its all people who I have a vested interest in, people I have invested time, people I have deposited large amounts into the emotional bank account. "Dude, you're an *******, GIVE ME MY MONEY" is an email I just sent my college roommate. Vs "Dr Program Director: I would be delighted to attend your evening galla this Sunday afternoon."

Some people can flipity flop. I can, I suppose. But anything to get my head straight I'll use. Keep in mind I dont tweet, fbook, myspace, or anything else of the sort. Text, Phone, Email. Period. I have one phone, and so one texting device (no land line in my house) and two email accounts. Not too much to check.

Not like the 75 forms of rejection in He's Just Not That Into You.

 

[OpalOnyx]

Not like the 75 forms of rejection in He's Just Not That Into You.

lol. oh to be a desperate 30-something single female 😛