ER Christmas Song Parodies.

[RustedFox]

These came to my addled brain in the wee hours during last night's shift.

"A Few of my Favorite Things: Drug Seeker Edition"


Vicodin, Ultram
Dilaudid and Morphine.

Complaining of back pain
for narcs is my new thing.

Cold turkey sandwiches
those nurses bring!
These are a few of my favorite things!


Its bull****, but I'll get
that Press-Ganey Survey.

Treat me like a "Customer"
Even though I don't pay.

Bring me that sandwich!
My tummy's rumbling!
These are a few of my favorite things!

When the shakes hit.
When I vomit.
When the withdraw's sad.
I hit up the ER to get my next fix.
And then I don't feel so bad.


"Carol of the Cardiac Monitor" [to be sung to the tune of "Carol of the Bells"]


Doc! Come right now!
Don't screw around.
Get to room six.
We need a fix.
He's in V-tach.
He's in V-tach.
Watch him desat.
Ohh, this is bad.
Push Amio.
Page Cardio.
No, don't say no.
GO. GO. GO. GO.
We work here in the E.D.
With the seniors, who die frequently.


(C) RustedFox:2016. See that little C in the parentheses? It means "copyrighted", which means that you fuccos can't steal it and take credit for it.


I know I'm not the only one who has lyrics. Next?

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[canigetawhatwhat]

Frosty the coke man
Was a tachy wacky soul
With flushed skin, dry mouth, and a bloody nose
And two eyes like big black Ooooos

Frosty the coke man
got out of jail today
He says he was working but the ER knows
that he shot up percs in his vein

There must have been some uppers in that that old pill bottle he found
For when he thought he was getting high, he seized and hit the ground

Oh the frosty the coke man
came in in asystole
He had an IO and a King and was getting push dose Epiiiiii

Thumpety Thump Thump Thumpety Thump Thump
Pulse check and still no puullllsseeee
Thumpety Thump Thump Thumpety Thump Thump
Now its time to calllllll

 

[theseeker4]

Nurse call bells,
Room 3 smells
giving narcs all day
Oh what fun it is to ride
that Dilaudid high all day-hey!

sorry, not that creative today....

 

[RustedFox]

Nurse call bells,
Room 3 smells
giving narcs all day
Oh what fun it is to ride
that Dilaudid high all day-hey!

sorry, not that creative today....

Good effort anyways.