Everybody Read This: Urgent Help Required

[vandetehlk]

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Dear All, I've had my first several days of medical school. It hasn't been a pleasant experience all in all. Gross anatomy is tedious, other courses are not so interesting, and I'm not enjoying my lectures or labs. Almost all of my colleagues are gunners and the way they're monstrously studying is making very frustrated. I am so stress out and pressured and in the 1st week I am not sure I want to carry on. I am not in the mood to study and I was crushed about not having medical school fit my dream of entering it.
My folks advised me to hang on or take an absence of leave or try to get a deferment. I honestly don't what to do. I know I don't want to drop. i have some issues and I need some rest because I didn't take a break after senior year. I think taking a year off could do wonders to me as it did when I applied for college.
What should I do? How on earth can I convince the faculty to defer me or do anything? I beg you to tell me how to do so. I do have some personal and emotional stuff that need resolving. I am also having an eating disorder or whatever you wanna name it because of my depression and frustration...

 

[SomeDoc]

Vandetehlk, this is a delicate and important issue. I strongly advise that you speak to school administration regarding your options and your situation. SDN is not the ideal place for advice on matters regarding such situations, and you would be best helped with school administration. They have a vested interest in you. Best of luck to you, and I hope things work out for the best.

 

[FadingPromise]

Hey ya,

I understand and sympathize with your situation. I am also MS I and I know that the first days can be a bit rough. With that having said though, your title and some content in here sounds somewhat demanding. Let me politely reminds you few points that you probably already know, and can use it for your own good.

Almost all of my colleagues are gunners and the way they're monstrously studying is making very frustrated.

In med school, everyone (almost all) will work hard. But that doesn't make them gunners, cut-throat, evil, etc. Aren't you wanting to do well yourself? Whatever others are doing, whether they are working hard or "monstrously" trying shouldn't make an impact in your psychology. Just do what you always have done in college and study hard...probably a little harder now since you have a different load. Don't become bitter about the fact that people are trying their hardest.

I know I don't want to drop.

So you already have an answer here. If you want to take a leave of absence, from what I know, is actually leniently given especially when you have emotional, social life, and stress issues. Just talk to your dean of academic department and let them walk you through. However, as I said above, it just seems like you can go through this, as long as you stop bothering with what others are doing. Just focus on your work load. Study and do as much as you can...and when you feel you have done enough, just relax, stop. Then repeat.

I generally don't like sounding too blunt, but I think this is the best thing I can say here. Good luck.

 

[njbmd]

Did you see this thread? Few days into M1 thread Perhaps you can find some things there that might be of help you. Certainly, you are not unique in feeling overwhelmed during the first few weeks of medical school.

If you are feeling totally uncomfortable, perhaps a chat with a counselor or one of the upperclassmen might be of help to you. Certainly, medical school is an adjustment for everyone and everyone does not find medical school "enjoyable" at first. You might try to think of what drew you to medicine in the first place and see if this is enough to keep you moving toward your goals.

 

[Pinkertinkle]

If you havent taken any tests yet then you have no idea how you compare to your classmates. Some people put on a real show when it comes to studying but don't score very highly on the test. Btw do you go to an american medical school?

 

[JeffLebowski]

Yeah, honestly, though we can't really help much with your eating/mood disorders you say you've got, I can advise you to just recenter yourself on what you take joy in. That is, what is it about medical school that made you want to come in the first place? My guess is that you wanted to be a doctor. You saw yourself training and becoming the doctor people could look up to and look to for help. Frankly, the intricacies of your classmates' personalities and the details about how your med school does things shouldn't really distract you from your goal. Surround yourself with people who are well-rounded, friendly, and normal people, and just stay away from the nutso's or the people who make you insecure. Stay the course. Everyone has to take some "adjustment time" now and then to get their head on straight, figure out what they want and how to get it, and how to settle themselves in socially. Pare it down to the most simple facets you'd like your life to have. Do you want to be a really good student? Focus on studying, ignore other people and social distractions for now. Do you want to be involved in volunteering/student groups? Seek those out. Medical school has a lot more rewarding aspects than just getting an A, being looked up to by your classmates, and being the biggest gunner. Figure out which ones you want and don't fault yourself for not immediately falling into a comfortable rhythm and routine. You're normal.

 

[herbalgarden]

Dear All, I've had my first several days of medical school. It hasn't been a pleasant experience all in all. Gross anatomy is tedious, other courses are not so interesting, and I'm not enjoying my lectures or labs. Almost all of my colleagues are gunners and the way they're monstrously studying is making very frustrated. I am so stress out and pressured and in the 1st week I am not sure I want to carry on. I am not in the mood to study and I was crushed about not having medical school fit my dream of entering it.
My folks advised me to hang on or take an absence of leave or try to get a deferment. I honestly don't what to do. I know I don't want to drop. i have some issues and I need some rest because I didn't take a break after senior year. I think taking a year off could do wonders to me as it did when I applied for college.
What should I do? How on earth can I convince the faculty to defer me or do anything? I beg you to tell me how to do so. I do have some personal and emotional stuff that need resolving. I am also having an eating disorder or whatever you wanna name it because of my depression and frustration...

vandetehlk,

maybe I can offer some advice based on how I handled it. When I first started med school, I was a overwhelmed also. The most intimidating things were how much my classmates would spend time, trying to MEMORIZE everything... and while it may not be intentional, they would psych each other out during study groups, leaving everyone feeling a little bit dumber. I tried to keep up, but it wasn't my style or study habit to sit down and memorize everything (engineering background). I decided that, that was not a good way to learn, merely recalling facts without making a lot of effort to understand. And while grades are important, getting good grades doesn't necessarily correlate with how much you know or how well you understand things (...that and no engineer ever get good grades 🙂. I stop going with the crowd, and just study things my own way and studying what I thought was important and interesting (using classroom objectives as a guide). I would read everything once, of course, so that I can at least recognize it on the tests. But for the most part, I spend more time learning WHY things are.. not just what? This way, I retained things pretty well, and actually enjoyed studying... it kept my curiosity alive, something I think med school was trying to kill.. it also served me well when studying for boards. I also didn't care much as to what will and will not appear on the test (it was incredibly obnoxious when classmates make multiple attempts to figure out what exactly was on the test). During 2nd yr, I only honored 1 or 2 classes/quarter.. but I never failed any classes either.. and was perfectly happy with that.

Getting ready to apply to residency now, I can honestly tell you that 1st and 2nd year grade are not remotely important on the list of things that matters. Sure, it can get you AOA status if you do well enough... but I don't think it's worth it if you're going to be miserable competing, instead of learning. Beside, not having AOA doesn't close any door to any specialty.

Med school's pace and volume is pretty challenging, but if you make it interesting for yourself, it'll be a lot less painful... let others have their Honors.. if you are diligent and focus on things you find interesting and useful, you'll be alright and will get an Honor here or there. Keep a balance life, if you have friends outside of med school, stay in touch with them. I like most people in my class, but it was extremely irritating when all they can think about are their grades, someone else's grade, how much of a jerk some professor is for not giving good grades, or some test they took two weeks ago... bring up some new scientific discoveries, politics or movies and their eyes glazed over like you're the most boring person ever.

hang in there.. most are overwhelmed, only some shows it, but almost all make it through (the people who didn't, usually have other reasons other than academics)...

 

[nocebo]

So, you don't like first year classes. Well, that's it, you're going to hate medicine.

Seriously--first year classes are a joke. Not as in easy to get through, since they can be tough, but a joke as in how little they relate to medicine. I thought I wanted to quit a bunch of times because the classes were so boring. As for honors, they hardly count for anything. Residency program directors I've talked to personally say they could care less about honors the first two years. Your dean's letter that goes out with your applications will have a few measly lines dedicated to the first two years. All the first two years are really about is Step 1 and doing well on that. And with my n=1 experience preclinical grades (average, if not below average) don't correlate with board scores (very north of average).

Second year classes start to get more medically relevant. And third year you'll be in the hospital doing real medicine. Certainly you can talk to the deans, they see many students each year who feel like you do. I'd recommend trying to stick it out at least a couple months if not the semester. Things will get better. Just be patient. If you have free time or if it's part of your curriculum, shadow doctors or volunteer in a free clinic and see what you will be doing for most of the rest of your life.

 

[DarknightX]

When I first started medical, I felt the same way. I couldn't stand most of my classmates, and I felt totally overwhelmed and stupid compared to my classmates. The classes were boring and I was very unmotivated. It seemed like everybody was living, breathing, drinking, and eating medicine. To me, it's just a job; however to a lot of my classmates, being a doctor defined them as a human being, which annoys me a lot till this day. I have too many outside interests and I like being a normal human being, so I don't really get along with most of the people at school.

At the begining, I made the mistake of studying with other people. After realizing that I was pretty miserable, I decided to change things up. I started studying alone and I did much better. I found out that I was more of a visual learner, so I would draw out a lot of pathways and pictures. I agree with the above poster who said he tried to figure out how things work instead of memorizing minute details.

The biggest thing that changed for me was that I stopped going to lecture. Instead of wasting the whole day and being too tired/burned out to study on my own, I started skipping classes and studying on my own. I'll usually start studying in the morning around 10, and finish up around 4 or 5 on an average day. This gives me my afternoons and evenings off. While most of my classmates are just starting to study, I'm already done for the day and hitting the gym or playing video games online. I can usually take off every other weekend with this strategy as well, so I can hang out with my non-med school friends, which is also key to keeping my sanity.

I went from barely passing to getting above the average on my exams. Do I know every detail about all the subjects? No. Will I honor every class? No. But I'm passing every class, I'll honor once in awhile, and most importantly to me, I have enough free time to maintain my sanity.

A lot of my classmates volunteer in clinics and like to play doctor any chance they get.. I wasn't into all that either. I would much rather be spending my free time playing some pick up ball, watching a good movie, hitting the gym, or even wasting time playing video games. Like I said before, medicine to me is just a job, it doesn't define me as a human being. Being a doctor doesn't increase my worth as a human being (even though most medical/pre-med students think it does).

I'm in second year now, and I still hate school at this point, but it has become a little bit more tolerable. The material seems a little more relevant medically than first year, but it still sucks having your nose in a book/computer for 6+ hours a day.

Do I still feel like quitting? Sometimes, but not everything in life is going to be rosy and make me feel excited and happy all the time. There are some rare moments where I say, hey that was pretty cool. Overall, I'm glad I stuck it out. If I had quit, I would have been in major debt with nothing to show for it. Hopefully during 3rd year I end up finding something that I love, but if don't, its not a big deal. I know that I can take my MD and find something else that I like.

My advice would be to ignore your classmates, and find out what works for you. You don't have to be like them to be successful.

 

[beethoven]

When I first started medical, I felt the same way. I couldn't stand most of my classmates, and I felt totally overwhelmed and stupid compared to my classmates. The classes were boring and I was very unmotivated. It seemed like everybody was living, breathing, drinking, and eating medicine. To me, it's just a job; however to a lot of my classmates, being a doctor defined them as a human being, which annoys me a lot till this day. I have too many outside interests and I like being a normal human being, so I don't really get along with most of the people at school.

At the begining, I made the mistake of studying with other people. After realizing that I was pretty miserable, I decided to change things up. I started studying alone and I did much better. I found out that I was more of a visual learner, so I would draw out a lot of pathways and pictures. I agree with the above poster who said he tried to figure out how things work instead of memorizing minute details.

The biggest thing that changed for me was that I stopped going to lecture. Instead of wasting the whole day and being too tired/burned out to study on my own, I started skipping classes and studying on my own. I'll usually start studying in the morning around 10, and finish up around 4 or 5 on an average day. This gives me my afternoons and evenings off. While most of my classmates are just starting to study, I'm already done for the day and hitting the gym or playing video games online. I can usually take off every other weekend with this strategy as well, so I can hang out with my non-med school friends, which is also key to keeping my sanity.

I went from barely passing to getting above the average on my exams. Do I know every detail about all the subjects? No. Will I honor every class? No. But I'm passing every class, I'll honor once in awhile, and most importantly to me, I have enough free time to maintain my sanity.

A lot of my classmates volunteer in clinics and like to play doctor any chance they get.. I wasn't into all that either. I would much rather be spending my free time playing some pick up ball, watching a good movie, hitting the gym, or even wasting time playing video games. Like I said before, medicine to me is just a job, it doesn't define me as a human being. Being a doctor doesn't increase my worth as a human being (even though most medical/pre-med students think it does).

I'm in second year now, and I still hate school at this point, but it has become a little bit more tolerable. The material seems a little more relevant medically than first year, but it still sucks having your nose in a book/computer for 6+ hours a day.

Do I still feel like quitting? Sometimes, but not everything in life is going to be rosy and make me feel excited and happy all the time. There are some rare moments where I say, hey that was pretty cool. Overall, I'm glad I stuck it out. If I had quit, I would have been in major debt with nothing to show for it. Hopefully during 3rd year I end up finding something that I love, but if don't, its not a big deal. I know that I can take my MD and find something else that I like.

My advice would be to ignore your classmates, and find out what works for you. You don't have to be like them to be successful.

I know this is kind of a useless post, but wow, that is the most insightful post I have ever read on the internet!

 

[sendwich]

OP, I was in a similar situation last year as well. I moved 1000s of miles not knowing anyone and the lack of support was a big factor in M1 misery. I didnt really click with any of my classmates, seeing how much gunning went on made me really anxious. I didnt really realize it then but looking back, I was pretty miserable, maybe even depressed. But seeing how you say you dont want to drop out....it DOES get better. I dont know what it was but getting the summer off and coming back as a 2nd year, I'm more refreshed and happier. But it's not all roses and dandilions either, as you probably know. A lot of your classmates might not say this out loud but MANY of them are feeling what you're feeling, to different degrees.

 

[soeagerun2or]

I felt duped in to reading this thread because of the title.

I get upset at times myself, still no need to elevate personal angst to "urgent."

 

[dienekes88]

Hey ya,

I understand and sympathize with your situation. I am also MS I and I know that the first days can be a bit rough. With that having said though, your title and some content in here sounds somewhat demanding. Let me politely reminds you few points that you probably already know, and can use it for your own good.

In med school, everyone (almost all) will work hard. But that doesn't make them gunners, cut-throat, evil, etc. Aren't you wanting to do well yourself? Whatever others are doing, whether they are working hard or "monstrously" trying shouldn't make an impact in your psychology. Just do what you always have done in college and study hard...probably a little harder now since you have a different load. Don't become bitter about the fact that people are trying their hardest.

QFT. 👍

I'm working my butt off. Memorizing stuff... trying to stay on top of things, but I'm no gunner. I'm just trying to stay afloat. Cell bio and Biochem are kinda interesting, but I'm having to read through it so fast that I'm not really able to indulge my interests. The clinical correlations are very cool, but again... I can't spend enough time to enjoy it at all. Most of the people I see in the library reading all the time are like me (took bio 3+ years ago...). I'm sure that's the case for at least part of your class too.

I approach medical school like it's a job. I read in the morning for 1-2 hours (depending on when my first class is). Then I read during/after lunch. I train on the bike for a couple hours. Then it's back to reading. Dinner. Back to reading. At about 10 o'clock - wherever I am in my reading - I just put the books down and chill. I never read more than 2 hours at a time, but on a good day I can fit in 8 hours of reading.

Racing bikes is keeping me sane, but it also means that I miss out on a lot of the social events. On the other hand, it helps me memorize things, and it's a HUGE stress reliever.

So you already have an answer here. If you want to take a leave of absence, from what I know, is actually leniently given especially when you have emotional, social life, and stress issues. Just talk to your dean of academic department and let them walk you through. However, as I said above, it just seems like you can go through this, as long as you stop bothering with what others are doing. Just focus on your work load. Study and do as much as you can...and when you feel you have done enough, just relax, stop. Then repeat.

I generally don't like sounding too blunt, but I think this is the best thing I can say here. Good luck.

Yeah. Don't compare yourself to others. I'm a *******. I hope nobody tries to compare their study habits to mine. I have to spend hours on the dumbest ****. You can make it.

Regarding mood and eating disorders... SDN isn't the place to look for medical/psychological/psychiatric advice...

 

[MonkeyNuts!]

In my BJJ school, we have a saying.

It goes: "stfu and train."

So whenever I feel like quitting, I tell myself, "stfu and study."

So my advice to you, vandetehlk, is stfu and deal with it.

 

[Dedikated2liftn]

In my BJJ school, we have a saying.

It goes: "stfu and train."

So whenever I feel like quitting, I tell myself, "stfu and study."

So my advice to you, vandetehlk, is stfu and deal with it.

****in' Animal. Seriously though, as others have said, M1s do a great job of putting on a show when it comes to how much they study: "I studied for 12 hours yesterday" "Well I studied for 14"...who gives a rat's ass. To the OP, find what works for you and stick to it. For me, I've got quite the atypical attitude when it comes to med students, and I use that to my advantage when it comes to studying (i.e. swearing like a sailor, making up dirty mnemonics, etc.). I know this sounds almost contradictory but have fun learning the material (by studying in a way that's unique to you and fits your personality), and you're drive will stay in place much longer. Best of luck in finding what works for you.

 

[vandetehlk]

Thanks everybody for the reply. I didn't study much during my first week. But I am planning to start real studying next week. i HOPE it works out. Commitment during undergrad is much easier... Also nobody mentioned how much deferring to next year would help, specially that I feel burnt out because if a tedious senior year.

 

[nocebo]

Thanks everybody for the reply. I didn't study much during my first week. But I am planning to start real studying next week. i HOPE it works out. Commitment during undergrad is much easier... Also nobody mentioned how much deferring to next year would help, specially that I feel burnt out because if a tedious senior year.

Admitting you haven't been studying costs you some sympathy points at least in my eyes, but it also shows you have plenty of room for improvement (compared to the students who bust their *****es and still have little to show for it). Medical school takes more commitment than undergrad, and for some it takes a while to get used to that fact. And just wait until M3 through residency, when you'll think M1 and M2 were child's play. But everybody who wants it bad enough makes it. And unlike undergrad, where the main goal of the pre-med program is to weed people out, the medical school will take care of you as long as you put the effort in from your side.

I went to med school straight out of college too, so I get the burnout issue, but look at it this way: you get an extra year of your life being a doctor, doing doctor work, having doctor power, and making doctor $$$. Would you rather be working in a lab doing Western blots or something for near minimum wage for some professor who's going to get all the credit anyway?

 

[MonkeyNuts!]

Thanks everybody for the reply. I didn't study much during my first week. But I am planning to start real studying next week. i HOPE it works out. Commitment during undergrad is much easier... Also nobody mentioned how much deferring to next year would help, specially that I feel burnt out because if a tedious senior year.

I would say get thru first year, and then do absolutely NOTHING first year summer. Just relax and chill.

Most people in my year were doing research, shadowing, doing things in clinics abroad, etc this past summer. I sat my ass at home and woke up at 3pm every day, trained BJJ and competed a couple times. I felt so relaxed when I started MSII.

If you get thru summer and still feel like you're going to die of a brain aneurysm, then fine, defer - but I think you have to have a good reason (like if you tell them "I'm just gonna chill for a year", I don't think that will fly).