Family and/or partners of patients wanting social contact with the treating Psychiatrist?

[Ceke2002]

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Just to clarify from the outset, this is something I have already discussed with my own Psychiatrist, so I'm not actually looking for any sort of advice - I'm mainly just curious if this is something that commonly occurs in therapy, because I've never really heard of it before (not in this sort of context at least - complaining/interfering family members/spouses, yes; family members/spouses who suddenly want to develop a social relationship with their loved one's treating Psychiatrist? Not so much).

So anyway with the obligatory disclaimer out the way, just to illustrate what I'm talking about...(edited upon consideration to remove personal family member details) Let's say you have a patient whose spouse isn't involved directly in the therapeutic process, but who seems to develop a sudden interest in establishing a social friendship with you outside the bounds of therapy.

I'm just really curious to know if this is a situation anyone else has come across in their own practice - I mean I know patients sometimes try to push the envelope in terms of trying to engage their Psychiatrist in a relationship that stretches outside the bounds of good therapeutic practice, but I've never actually heard of a patient's spouse (or other family member for that matter) wanting to do the same type of thing.

 

[jakeislove]

I have many opportunities to improve upon meeting current social obligations, LOL! Can't wrap my head around the idea of more people to socialize with, especially relatives, friends, spouses, dogs, cats, goldfish, etc... of patients.

 

[Shikima]

It happens Ceke.... same boundaries still apply.

 

[Ceke2002]

I have many opportunities to improve upon meeting current social obligations, LOL! Can't wrap my head around the idea of more people to socialize with, especially relatives, friends, spouses, dogs, cats, goldfish, etc... of patients.

You can't wrap your head around the idea, how do you think I feel?

It happens Ceke.... same boundaries still apply.

All sarcasm and joking aside, I am fully aware of the boundary issues with this, which is why I'm basically dealing with it through general education on things like how the therapeutic process works; the set roles of patient and therapist (and why it's important for lines not to be crossed), the power differential in therapy, and so on, plus just reiterating boundaries, ethical considerations, professional guidelines, etc etc. It's only something that has recently come up though, and like I said I was just curious to know how common it is - if it is something that happens, I would assume it happens more often than I thought. Hmm, interesting, I wonder what drives this sort of response in spouses or other family members?

 

[jakeislove]

You can't wrap your head around the idea, how do you think I feel?

y

I enjoy hanging out with me and can see why others would want to but work and personal stuff have to stay compartmentalized. I don't bring hospital stuff home, ever. 🙂

 

[Ceke2002]

y

I enjoy hanging out with me and can see why others would want to but work and personal stuff have to stay compartmentalized. I don't bring hospital stuff home, ever. 🙂

Sorry, it's late here, I'm half asleep - did that Y mean why? I'm gonna go ahead and assume it did...

Y? Because it's f**kin' weird when it's actually happening to you - ie: I'm the one with the spouse who's suddenly decided they really, really want to become bestest buddies with my Psychiatrist. Hey at least you guys are trained for this sort of stuff.

And I totally get the whole compartmentalising thing as well, I would imagine as a Doctor it becomes somewhat of a necessity.

 

[jakeislove]

Sorry, it's late here, I'm half asleep - did that Y mean why? I'm gonna go ahead and assume it did...

Y? Because it's f**kin' weird when it's actually happening to you - ie: I'm the one with the spouse who's suddenly decided they really, really want become bestest buddies with my Psychiatrist. Hey at least you guys are trained for this sort of stuff.

And I totally get the whole compartmentalising thing as well, I would imagine as a Doctor it becomes somewhat of a necessity.

I'm not trained, yet. It would be a non-starter.

^ Being said: Perhaps she has some treatment recommendations, seeks tools to enable less, feels you should cuddle more, or wants to know if there's a drug that will lead to more help around the house. 🙂

I'm cynical, though. Perhaps there's no reason to disregard a therapeutic approach I'm unfamiliar with.

 

[OldPsychDoc]

Here's the benign interpretation: it is HARD in Western culture to make good friends. In a best-case situation, the patient is getting better, there's some sense of fulfillment and growth, and those close to the patient want to be part of that. For most of us, that involves some degree of wanting to connect socially, recreationally with the people who are important to us, and important to our loved ones. I'm of the school that at heart, the neurobiology of social interactions is still wired to maximize the function of the tribe. Maybe we should see it as the Significant Other(s) wanting to adopt the Psychiatrist into their tribe? Now--insert Professional Relationship, which is kind of artificial, structured, and rule-based, and there needs to be some education about the limits of how that natural tribal tendency should be expressed.
Just my thoughts...

(Personal example--MANY moons ago, pre-psychiatry training for me, my wife was in therapy following a major depressive episode. I was part of a few sessions, I liked the guy, there was a sense of intellectual compatibility with him...I probably would have liked to meet for a beer and to shoot the breeze. Anyway, she got better, they terminated--but a couple of years later, we still felt like sending him a baby announcement when our eldest was born, kind of wanting to connect and tell him, "Hey, everything is ok...")

 

[Ceke2002]

Here's the benign interpretation: it is HARD in Western culture to make good friends. In a best-case situation, the patient is getting better, there's some sense of fulfillment and growth, and those close to the patient want to be part of that. For most of us, that involves some degree of wanting to connect socially, recreationally with the people who are important to us, and important to our loved ones. I'm of the school that at heart, the neurobiology of social interactions is still wired to maximize the function of the tribe. Maybe we should see it as the Significant Other(s) wanting to adopt the Psychiatrist into their tribe? Now--insert Professional Relationship, which is kind of artificial, structured, and rule-based, and there needs to be some education about the limits of how that natural tribal tendency should be expressed.
Just my thoughts...

(Personal example--MANY moons ago, pre-psychiatry training for me, my wife was in therapy following a major depressive episode. I was part of a few sessions, I liked the guy, there was a sense of intellectual compatibility with him...I probably would have liked to meet for a beer and to shoot the breeze. Anyway, she got better, they terminated--but a couple of years later, we still felt like sending him a baby announcement when our eldest was born, kind of wanting to connect and tell him, "Hey, everything is ok...")

That makes sense. My Psychiatrist and I have had a couple of discussions on the neurobiological aspects of interpersonal relationships and what I suppose one might call the 'innate human drive towards community'. I think perhaps issues with this arise when in constructing their 'tribal' society, a person comes across something, or someone, for which they have no real frame of reference for so there automatically becomes a risk of misinterpretation.

 

[masterofmonkeys]

I think OPD hit the nail on the head.

 

[Ceke2002]

I think OPD hit the nail on the head.

He is indeed a very wise and much to be respected poster on this forum.