Family issue

[Decision]

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Is this safe to leave my children home with their alcoholic father while i'm gone for 4 years ? big risk ???? I don't think I can handle school and children at the same time without helping from the family. At least if they stay in town, my parents can go back and for to help them. This is a very hard decision for me now. Please advices. Thanks.

 

[Pharmavixen]

That's a tough one...people with a substance abuse problem tend to be very self-involved, and not very giving. And not, needless to say, good parents. Four years is a long time in the life of a kid.

How serious a drinker is he?

Can you leave the kids with the parents instead?

 

[Decision]

That's a tough one...people with a substance abuse problem tend to be very self-involved, and not very giving. And not, needless to say, good parents. Four years is a long time in the life of a kid.

How serious a drinker is he?

Can you leave the kids with the parents instead?

I asked him but he said NO, that's my problem to leave the kids. His kids have to stay with him. He's never admitted that he's alcoholic. My children and I sincerely talked to him and asked him to register for AA then he's so pissed off.

 

[wes011]

Is this safe to leave my children home with their alcoholic father while i'm gone for 4 years ? big risk ???? I don't think I can handle school and children at the same time without helping from the family. At least if they stay in town, my parents can go back and for to help them. This is a very hard decision for me now. Please advices. Thanks.

I believe you already know the answer to the question. I'd talk to your family about becoming your children's guardians until you are finished with school. Just my thoughts.

 

[Decision]

I believe you already know the answer to the question. I'd talk to your family about becoming your children's guardians until you are finished with school. Just my thoughts.

Can you do that while their father is still around ? I never want to leave my children with him, especially they are both teenager now.

 

[Farmercyst]

This borders on medical advice and would best be asked to a health professional in person (read Social worker, Family/marriage counselor, etc)

 

[iknow]

Is it safe to leave my kids with an alcoholic father? Uhmmm...let me think...
Really? Why can't you handle school and children at the same time? I do it and not because my child's father is an alcoholic. No one will take care of your children better than you...unless you have issues you're not disclosing.

Assuming you're a good mother, if you leave your children with their father, you'll be sitting though pharmacy school worrying about them and that's not going to be fun either.

You decided to have children before going though your "school years". you can't ignore that and pretend you'll be a "normal college student". Unless you have some kind of disability I don't see why you can't go to school and take care of your kids at the same time. Many people do it easily.

 

[Decision]

Is it safe to leave my kids with an alcoholic father? Uhmmm...let me think...
Really? Why can't you handle school and children at the same time? I do it and not because my child's father is an alcoholic. No one will take care of your children better than you...unless you have issues you're not disclosing.

Assuming you're a good mother, if you leave your children with their father, you'll be sitting though pharmacy school worrying about them and that's not going to be fun either.

You decided to have children before going though your "school years". you can't ignore that and pretend you'll be a "normal college student". Unless you have some kind of disability I don't see why you can't go to school and take care of your kids at the same time. Many people do it easily.

How can you raise your children and go to school in the state that you have never lived there before ? Here we are talking about no help from anyone at all. I guess the best thing is I should not move, stay where I am and reapply the local school.

Thanks guys for advices.

 

[iknow]

How can you raise your children and go to school in the state that you have never lived there before ? Here we are talking about no help from anyone at all. I guess the best thing is I should not move, stay where I am and reapply the local school.

Thanks guys for advices.

I still don't understand why you can't. I have no problem doing it. Drop the child off to school in the morning (before going to class) - pick them up later. Even easier if they are old enough to ride the bus and stay home alone for a few hours in case they get out of school before you do.

I guess it could be difficult if you never had to take care of them on your own but it can be done.

 

[Decision]

I still don't understand why you can't. I have no problem doing it. Drop the child off to school in the morning (before going to class) - pick them up later. Even easier if they are old enough to ride the bus and stay home alone for a few hours in case they get out of school before you do.

I guess it could be difficult if you never had to take care of them on your own but it can be done.

I have 3 children 12,10 and 5. I know for sure that I can't take care them by myself. Here at least I have my parents drop and pick them up, husband supports financial while I'm in school. I bet when I move, he will not support me like now. He keeps asking me all the time "why do you want to be a pharmacist? or you want to prove that you can make more $$$ than me ?" I guess he and I, we aren't the same page. That's the sad thing. Sometimes it's easy to talk then done. Every family is different. Now I am trying to convince either my mom or dad goes with me so I can move my children too. My husband said he isn't going to move out this state. What can I say ???? ( I told him stay and parties as usual)

 

[iknow]

I have 3 children 12,10 and 5. I know for sure that I can't take care them by myself. Here at least I have my parents drop and pick them up, husband supports financial while I'm in school. I bet when I move, he will not support me like now. He keeps asking me all the time "why do you want to be a pharmacist? or you want to prove that you can make more $$$ than me ?" I guess he and I, we aren't the same page. That's the sad thing. Sometimes it's easy to talk then done. Every family is different. Now I am trying to convince either my mom or dad goes with me so I can move my children too. My husband said he isn't going to move out this state. What can I say ???? ( I told him stay and parties as usual)

Yeah sounds like it might be difficult. Sorry you're husband is not supportive :-(

Hopefully you can get your mom or someone to move with you and help, seems like your marriage is not going so well and it would probably help if you had a stable profession and didn't need his support. Maybe this is why he's not helping much (wants you to depend on him)

Hope it works out for you,