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Favorite Chief Complaint
- Thread starter kugel
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oh wait, i just remembered one from my general medicine floor...A DT case that had been hospitalized for psychiatric issues in the past. After our attending carried on with a long discussion of how in Europe it's not uncommon for hospitals to include a shot of alcohol with the meals served, we went in a talked to said patient. He rambled on for a good 3-4 minutes about random things and then when asked by the attending if he was "here for seizures?" replied:
"Just because THEY don't understand sci-fi doesn't make ME the crazy one."
"Just because THEY don't understand sci-fi doesn't make ME the crazy one."
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My favorite goes something like this....
"I'm feeling suicidal".... as the Pt is dropping all of his worldly possessions on to the floor contained in 4 canvass bags.
😀
"I'm feeling suicidal".... as the Pt is dropping all of his worldly possessions on to the floor contained in 4 canvass bags.
😀
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the famous "positive Samsonite sign"
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One of favorite ones was a god (I don't think he said jesus specifically) that I saw in the ER. He was manic as all get out and we were all set to just admit him based on his appearance and behavior.
The ER doc insists that we do an interview, the seclusion rooms were full already and so the intern (me) proceeds to ask the patient questions. The senior had gone to see one of the psychotic patients. I think it was August, early in the morning/late at night and as an intern I was a little scared.
This guy is not strapped down and I must have looked concerned as this very nice ER Doc (who was quite good looking) comes to try and help me out.
ME: How can we help you today.
Patient/God: Come with me all my children! Come to my bosom! Recieve thy nectar!
With that he takes off his clothes, very quickly mind you, and starts humping the Doc. He ran through halls masturbating and eventually ejaculated on one of the offciers trying to get him down. I wasn't there but apparently he said something about his seed and baptism.
The ER doc ordered a cocktail for him on her own after that. It was a great learning experience for me.
The ER doc insists that we do an interview, the seclusion rooms were full already and so the intern (me) proceeds to ask the patient questions. The senior had gone to see one of the psychotic patients. I think it was August, early in the morning/late at night and as an intern I was a little scared.
This guy is not strapped down and I must have looked concerned as this very nice ER Doc (who was quite good looking) comes to try and help me out.
ME: How can we help you today.
Patient/God: Come with me all my children! Come to my bosom! Recieve thy nectar!
With that he takes off his clothes, very quickly mind you, and starts humping the Doc. He ran through halls masturbating and eventually ejaculated on one of the offciers trying to get him down. I wasn't there but apparently he said something about his seed and baptism.
The ER doc ordered a cocktail for him on her own after that. It was a great learning experience for me.
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This isn't psych (or was it?) but hilarious anyway... pts had to type in their chief complaint when registering in the ER. My favorite?
"notinmylowerstomkin"
That's right, one word.
"notinmylowerstomkin"
That's right, one word.
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As an MS3 I was assisting another MS3 and two IM residents attempting a lumbar puncture on a richly psychotic patient who we suspected had meningitis. She told us that it's "not the 1600's no more" and that the other MS3 would "die before her next birthday". She stated that she was (clearly someone she was not) and put a hex on all of us.
I shrugged it off but the other MS3 was really freaked out. But I guess there's a reason I'm going into psych and she's going into surgery.
I shrugged it off but the other MS3 was really freaked out. But I guess there's a reason I'm going into psych and she's going into surgery.
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Do you remove a hex with a hex wrench?
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Okay, it wasn't a Chief Complaint,
but last week a very psychotic, agitated patient who'd been demanding and threatening all day, saw me walking out with my little lunch bucket from Walmart.
She said, "You obviously need to get a better job."
but last week a very psychotic, agitated patient who'd been demanding and threatening all day, saw me walking out with my little lunch bucket from Walmart.
She said, "You obviously need to get a better job."
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81 y/o admitted to geri unit from assisted living facility for "disinhibition..."
chief complaint? "I WANT PU&&Y!"
When nursing staff would go to wake him up in the mornings by shaking his shoulder he'd say, "shake down there!"
chief complaint? "I WANT PU&&Y!"
When nursing staff would go to wake him up in the mornings by shaking his shoulder he'd say, "shake down there!"
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