Fellas, this is how we roll with consults

[Misterioso]

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Gents, 'bout a week back the resident honored me with the privelege of answering the consults for the team. I check out the consults, formulate a plan, and report to him or the attending for the final decision. So far I'm batting a thousand.

Before I used to listen eagerly as the heavyweights dealt with consults, especially when they'd get riled up if it was a B.S. one. I must admit that their attitude has been righteously passed down to yours truly, as I've found myself on more than one occassion really letting the guy or gal on the other end of the line have it for wasting my time or trying to make me do more than a consult. As my chief told me: "Remember you're there to consult, not to do their job for them". Just a few days ago I had this little exchange over the phone with some lightweight doc from the ER (surprise, surprise):

Me: "Hi, I'm answering a page for a surgery consult."

ER: "Is this Dr. -----?"

Me: "No, this is the med student on surgery, I'm taking the consults for him."

ER: "Oh..well...is Dr. ----- available?"

Me: "What am I speaking Greek? I got it covered, what's the consult?"

ER: "Well..ok...we've got a 55 year old male with abdominal pain who..."

Me: "Where's the pain exactly?"

ER: "Umm...I dunno exactly but..."

Me: "You didn't examine the patient yourself?"

ER: "Umm...not yet but the P.A. said...."

Me: "Well why don't you go do that instead of wasting my time when you don't even know what's going on."

*sound of me slamming the phone*


That's how you do it, fellas. Roll like that a few times and they'll be darn sure to have their act together before calling you 'cuz they know you'll really dig into them otherwise. There's an attending here who people actually fear calling for a consult 'cuz they know they're gonna be in for a rough ride as soon as they get him on the phone. I've seen residents and even other attendings argue and plead amongst each other to get out of calling him. Once they even drew straws. That's how you wanna be.

 

[Blade28]

That's good stuff, man! 👍

 

[SocialistMD]

How do you have so many rotations in surgery?

 

[Misterioso]

How do you have so many rotations in surgery?

A little something we like to call electives, son.


And also here's a little diddy about Jack and Diane
2 American kids growin up in the heartland.
Jacky's gonna be a football star
Diane's debutante in the backseat of Jacky's car

Suckin' on chili dog outside the tasty freeze.
Diane sittin' on Jacky's lap, got his hands between her knees
Jacky say, "Hey Diane, let's run off ‘hind a shady tree,
Dribble off those Bobby Brooks, let me do what I please.

Jacky says, oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin is gone
Say uh, oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin is gone. They walk on.

Jacky sits back, collects his thoughts for the moment
Scratches his head and does his best James Dean.
Well then there Diane, we oughtta run off to the city.
Diane says "Baby, you ain't missin' a thing"
Jacky say uh,

Oh yeah life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin is gone
Oh yeah they say life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin is gone
He walks on.

Gonna let it rock, let it roll
Let the bible belt, come and save my soul
Hold on to 16 as long as you can
Changes come around real soon, make us women and men.

Oh yeah, life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin is gone
Oh yeah, they say life goes on
Long after the thrill of livin is gone

Little diddy, about Jack and Diane
Two American kids doin' best they can

 

[Winged Scapula]

The level of EM bashing in this forum is embarassing and unprofessional. Earlier ones have created a rift with our EM colleagues and painted the users of this forum as stereotypical dingus surgeons.

I am not willing to deal with another fall-out from the same, let alone from a medical student who may or may not be telling the truth about his exploits. I don't really care if his (misterioso's) post was made in jest...others will soon pile on and we'll have the same derogation of our EM colleagues as we had before and only succeed in making ourselves and our surgical colleagues look bad.

Venting is allowed but given the timing of this thread and the recent problems, personal attacks and lack of professionalism, I am making an administrative decision to close this thread. I will not allow this forum to become one that makes others feel unwelcome.