What is it like? Do you actually know what the heck you are doing? Do your superiors recognize that you are a newly-minted intern and treat you as such? I guess what I'm saying is that I'm scared ****less, feel like I am going to be the worst intern ever, and am worried that I'm the only one who feels this way!
First month of internship
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For the most part, no.
Definitely.
Hardly. I am positive that everyone feels the same way. For those few who aren't scared, I worry MORE about them because arrogance kills.
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I am totally scared! I got stuck with being the Night Float intern first and I have heard that is an extremely hard month for us who are just right out of school. Though I know that there will always be upper-level residents to call on and probably an attending lurking somewhere in-house, I can't help to be worried that I am going to make a serious mistake!
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It is funny how very little you really know about taking care of patients when you graduate from medical school. Is there another profession where graduation from a doctorate level program really doesn't confer any significant level of competence? The dentists and optometrists et al can at least go forth on July 1st and practice the bread and butter of their fields with competence. The newly minted MD knows just enough to be dangerous. (trite expression but so true).
Your learning curve will nearly be 90 degrees the first couple of months of internship. The key is readily admitting what you don't know and understanding that you need guidance. No question is too stupid. Trust your gut and when in doubt, kick things up to your upper.
You are just another of many who graduate every year with the same concerns that you have. You will be surprised how quickly you gain competence. It is good you are asking the question. This means you will respect your limitations and will most likely do very well.
I bet your feeling is similar to how you felt before the first day of medical school or your fist day on the wards as a third year. It's exactly how I felt anyway.
Your learning curve will nearly be 90 degrees the first couple of months of internship. The key is readily admitting what you don't know and understanding that you need guidance. No question is too stupid. Trust your gut and when in doubt, kick things up to your upper.
You are just another of many who graduate every year with the same concerns that you have. You will be surprised how quickly you gain competence. It is good you are asking the question. This means you will respect your limitations and will most likely do very well.
I bet your feeling is similar to how you felt before the first day of medical school or your fist day on the wards as a third year. It's exactly how I felt anyway.
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You're not alone. Lets just say that I'm scared to the point I may wear diapers for the first few months. But am I gonna fly through the Washington Manual 3x over the next few weeks?? Nope! For once, I'm gonna take the advice of every resident I've ever talked to and I'm gonna chill. So whenever you start to feel like you may be the worst intern ever... relax and realize that there is a diaper wearing intern who is probably worse! 😉
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Maybe you're not including it, but my understanding of law school is that it teaches you virtually nothing about how to actually practice law. Much less so than medical school.
To the OP, the factoid that got me through it is that there are tens of thousands who have done it before me, and not all of them could have possibly been smarter or better prepared than I was. So, just by the numbers, I've got a pretty good shot of being alright.
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Forgot to add...
if it makes you feel any better, I'm scared too...becoming an attending is possibly even more scary than becoming an intern.
Check back in a few months and let us know how it went. I'm sure we'll both have survived!
if it makes you feel any better, I'm scared too...becoming an attending is possibly even more scary than becoming an intern.
Check back in a few months and let us know how it went. I'm sure we'll both have survived!
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So true. That is the basic fact that keeps me from calling my program and saying I decided to quit medicine a week before the start of my internship!
It feels a little encouraging to know that there are other people just as scared as I am. Shi**ess is not even close to describing how bad it is!
My goal for the first couple months is to try and not kill anyone...
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Forgot to add...
if it makes you feel any better, I'm scared too...becoming an attending is possibly even more scary than becoming an intern.
Check back in a few months and let us know how it went. I'm sure we'll both have survived!
Some slightly more serious thoughts on becoming an attending. Posted here because there isn't a "general attending issues" forum.
1. You now have genuine (albeit variable and inadequate) power in the medical care system. If you or your patient are being mistreated, you can complain and someone will listen. They may ignore your complaint, lie about what they'll do, etc, but they WILL listen. This is different than residency. Take care to develop your skill at this and figure out which are the battles worth fighting. Picking too many battles will lead you to being labeled a whiner. Pick too few and you're not advocating for yourself or your patients enough. Rarely have I regretted picking a battle.
2. Your skills (not you personally) are a given, your compassion is not. Ultimately as a resident, patients are forming their relationship with an attending, not with you (though they may appreciate your humanity). As an attending, it is with you and it's important to develop these skills. Your humanity matters a lot to patients and their families. Don't believe otherwise.
3. Only you can make the decision when it's time to pack up and move on to another job. But, as a new attending, if things aren't what you want in the first 2 years, then move on quickly. Usually they are better elsewhere. It's easy to be abused by a system for too long.
4. Whatever you believe, a large number of your patients will believe in a supreme being and will want to share this (not their faith per se, just their confidence that God is watching over them and guiding you). Learn to accept this and be supportive.
5. This is the life you've chosen. Up to here, everything was waiting for the next step. Well, this is the next step, so make it the life you want. Save the regrets for others. Travel, enjoy friends and the world, etc. No more waiting for tomorrow.
6. When things go wrong, don't post about them on SDN's public forums. B$#%# to me. That's what I'm on staff here for. 🙂
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Thank you immensely for the words of wisdom. While all are equally important points, I've quoted the last one because its been on my mind lately.
It had been suggested I create a blog about my experiences. Beyond queries as to whether or not I could make it something others would want to read is my fear that my comments, in the public domain, can be used against me. Obvious discussions about patients and things going wrong would be taboo but you have to wonder what seemingly innocent comment you write that will be misconstrued.
But again thank you...your comments and advice are very valuable and while I hope to not to have to vent to you or anyone else, something tells me that the day will come...the day will come.
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