Hi old people,
My name is Paul Leibowitz, and I'm a student at the new Barry Zlatko School of Medicine, better known as ZSOM. I just want to tell you that ZSOM is AWESOME. That's why they even rhyme, you see that? ZSOM rhymes with AWESOME. It's all part of the plan.
Anyway, I just want you to know that ZSOM really does love old people like you with all those long stories and fat bank accounts. You don't have to worry about competing with a bunch of gunner kids who don't understand what really MATTERS in life, because ZSOM already knows how AWESOME you really are. So I hope you will all apply, because I can't wait to meet you all.
Oh, I almost forgot. A few of my classmates and I made some
video testimonials for you just so that you can get a better idea of just how AWESOME that ZSOM really is. There's some evil elf going around trying to bash us and our school, but it's just because he knows that ZSOM is AWESOME.
