general personal statement question

[hellonicole]

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I had my predent advisor read over my personal statement and he said not to include jargon that a regular reader would not understand. I assumed that adcoms aren't just a general audience and would know what a "burr" and a "crown" is. Also I used the phrase "tussle of a wisdom tooth extraction" and he didn't understand that either. Should I take all of these out or what?? How am I supposed to show that I learned anything from my shadowing experiences if I'm not allowed to explicitly use any terms?

Please let me know your thoughts!

 

[I want to go to there]

No, don't take them out. Regarding the phrase, you misused the word tussle as it can't be used as an adjective. I think you are trying to say "difficult wisdom tooth extraction". Using words you don't often use to make your PS sound more sophisticated is fine, but make sure you use the words correctly.

 

[hellonicole]

No, don't take them out. Regarding the phrase, you misused the word tussle as it can't be used as an adjective. I think you are trying to say "difficult wisdom tooth extraction". Using words you don't often use to make your PS sound more sophisticated is fine, but make sure you use the words correctly.

Thanks for that! If you aren't too busy, do you think you could take a look over my personal statement?