Has anyone cried in front of patient or their family?

[LUCPM]

Especially after they passed? Does this look as a sign of weakness? Or would it look inappropriate?

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[kemper6036]

Especially after they passed? Does this look as a sign of weakness? Or would it look inappropriate?

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I have come close...meaning I got a knot in my throat and have had to stop mid sentence to compose myself. I don't think its a sign of weakness or inappropriate, but its not my style. however if you don't feel some degree of emotion and empathy for the wife you've just told that her husband is brain dead or for the parents of a child who is bleeding to death that needs emergency surgery, you're probably in the wrong profession. some cases hit close to home and it takes a lot to hold it together

 

[northernpsy]

In psychiatry, we are very big on establishing proper boundaries with patients and some of the old school analytic types totally oppose ever getting personal with patients, but still there is a famous saying in the specialty:

"When in doubt, be human".

It's a normal human reaction to cry when you're faced with something especially tragic, and doctors are indeed human, not robots. I am not a big crier in general, but I have become emotional a couple of times over the years when a patient's situation really got to me.
I can't imagine a patient or family being put off that you care enough about them to really feel the pain of the tragic situation they're in. Yes, it would be really weird if: 1) you were getting overly emotional about something that isn't actually a big deal, or 2) you were getting so upset that the patient/family felt like THEY needed to take care of YOU ...but crying with a family who just lost a loved one or learned some terrible news will probably just make them appreciate that they're not just another patient to you. Sometimes, all we can really offer patients is our empathy and concern.

 

[evilbooyaa]

Don't think I've ever dropped a tear but I've definitely come somewhat close. I wouldn't judge somebody who did for an extreme situation, however. Just be sure it's a truly extreme situation and don't cry over the small stuff.

 

[AMEHigh]

I haven't, but I know colleagues have.

Of course it's not a sign of weakness, we're all human.

Obviously, assuming these are sad/tragic situations and you aren't crying everyday over "minor" problems with your patients.

 

[Neuronix]

I deal with dying patients a lot. I've come close to crying in front of people few times. I know some patients and families have noticed. I think people have been appreciative more than anything. I had a dying patient once tell me "you have a really hard job", and I thought... No. I dont. I put this stuff behind me quickly and go on with life. That patient will never be able to put her cancer behind her.

I think showing emotion reminds everyone we're human and want the best for people. I genuinely feel bad for people and it shows. Anyone who thinks I'm weak for that can go to hell.

We are all busy though, and you can't let it get to you. You have to move on quickly. When you get home, I think you need some kind of balance in life to keep this from consuming you--at least if you deal with a lot of moribund patients.

 

[Trauma Surgeon]

Had this tragic case a couple months ago where a dad had backed his car over his 4yr old son, it was an accident, the patient died in front of us!
I did not cry in front of anyone (did it later in my room), but there were several nurses and colleagues who did and did not find it anything but "human reaction".

 

[tiedyeddog]

Im a grown ass man and I have cried with one mom of two patient's I had. Needless to say it was an extreme situation that unfolded over multiple days in which I had many terrible, dark discussions with the mother of the two children. Outcomes were very poor despite my many efforts. Only time I have shed a tear in front of a family thus far.

 

[MediCane2006]

Once. It was an elderly guy who came in for a valve replacement, and basically came out in extremis. Essentially the OR team brought him out so that the family could say goodbye.

I was the junior resident on the ICU service at the time, massively sleep deprived, jaded, mainly just wanted to get this over with so I could go get takeout for dinner before all the restaurants closed at 10pm.

This guy's elderly wife came into the room and basically went through all the stages of grief right there in front of us. From hysterical denial to, finally, acceptance. She ended up sitting on the bed, stroking his hair and telling him all the wonderful memories she would cherish of their life together.

I had just broken up with a boyfriend, I was chronically exhausted and mildly depressed, and I completely lost it. I was crying so hard I had to leave the room and go hide in the call room til the nurses called me out to pronounce him.

I still remember every single patient I lost though....

 

[Dr. Death]

Once. It was an elderly guy who came in for a valve replacement, and basically came out in extremis. Essentially the OR team brought him out so that the family could say goodbye.

I was the junior resident on the ICU service at the time, massively sleep deprived, jaded, mainly just wanted to get this over with so I could go get takeout for dinner before all the restaurants closed at 10pm.

This guy's elderly wife came into the room and basically went through all the stages of grief right there in front of us. From hysterical denial to, finally, acceptance. She ended up sitting on the bed, stroking his hair and telling him all the wonderful memories she would cherish of their life together.

I had just broken up with a boyfriend, I was chronically exhausted and mildly depressed, and I completely lost it. I was crying so hard I had to leave the room and go hide in the call room til the nurses called me out to pronounce him.

I still remember every single patient I lost though....

Almost got choked up reading this.

 

[NotAProgDirector]

Almost got choked up reading this.

Somewhat ironic given your user name. But perhaps that's what you intended.

 

[tiedyeddog]

I still remember every single patient I lost though....

Like every patient you saw who died that admission or every one you pronounced? I certainly can't remember every one who died while I took care of them in the ICU, way too numerous


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[MediCane2006]

Like every patient you saw who died that admission or every one you pronounced? I certainly can't remember every one who died while I took care of them in the ICU, way too numerous


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No, I remember every patient who I cared for that died. It was really difficult for me to handle actually, and one of the big reasons I chose a specialty with zero life-and-death acuity

 

[tiedyeddog]

No, I remember every patient who I cared for that died. It was really difficult for me to handle actually, and one of the big reasons I chose a specialty with zero life-and-death acuity

Makes sense.


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[nlax30]

Have come really close. Several times have gotten teary eyed and had to step away and compose myself.