Having a hard time with my breakup, now at risk to repeat

[random12345]

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My 2 year relationship recently ended and I've been having a really hard time. Long story short, the breakup came during exams and now I'm at risk for repeating the course in the summer unless I can manage a perfect score on the last exam. I'm still having a hard time with the breakup so I don't know how possible that is.

I've been doing fine in all my other classes, it's just this one because of the timing. If I do end up repeating, does it say in the Dean's letter? Would it matter why it happened? I've been so distraught and really having trouble focusing, and I'm frustrated that this is having such a big impact on school. I know it's only one course and I'm grateful I don't have to repeat the year, but will this have a hug negative impact in the future?

 

[fancymylotus]

My 2 year relationship recently ended and I've been having a really hard time. Long story short, the breakup came during exams and now I'm at risk for repeating the course in the summer unless I can manage a perfect score on the last exam. I'm still having a hard time with the breakup so I don't know how possible that is.

I've been doing fine in all my other classes, it's just this one because of the timing. If I do end up repeating, does it say in the Dean's letter? Would it matter why it happened? I've been so distraught and really having trouble focusing, and I'm frustrated that this is having such a big impact on school. I know it's only one course and I'm grateful I don't have to repeat the year, but will this have a hug negative impact in the future?

So..was this your first serious relationship? (jk)

I think if its just one class and you've generally done well in your other classes and don't have major issues again, it shouldn't negatively impact you all that much.

 

[random12345]

So..was this your first serious relationship? (jk)

I think if its just one class and you've generally done well in your other classes and don't have major issues again, it shouldn't negatively impact you all that much.

Actually, yes, haha. Does that make a difference?
I guess I'm just worried how bad it looks on my residency app.

 

[WhendoIstartfirstaid?]

what are you aiming for? In the world of plastics/derm/ENT with too many perfect applicants for too few spots, you're done for. Everything else still seems really easily doable even with an F.

 

[random12345]

what are you aiming for? In the world of plastics/derm/ENT with too many perfect applicants for too few spots, you're done for. Everything else still seems really easily doable even with an F.

I don't know what I'm aiming for yet, nothing has been ruled out.
Thanks for the head's up about the competitive specialties! Not sure I had a good shot at those anyways...

 

[W19]

Actually, yes, haha. Does that make a difference?
I guess I'm just worried how bad it looks on my residency app.

Are you gunning for derm, ortho, neurosurgery, ENT, or urology?

 

[random12345]

Are you gunning for derm, ortho, neurosurgery, ENT, or urology?

I guess not anymore :/

 

[W19]

I guess not anymore :/

It probably won't be a big deal if you can redeem yourself with 250+ step1...

 

[Psai]

It probably won't be a big deal if you can redeem yourself with 250+ step1...

that's not true

 

[W19]

that's not true

I said 'probably'... In addition, there might be some schools that do not even put that in the dean letter. My school does not from what I was told...

 

[pd1112]

Won't it be obvious on the transcript or am I missing something?

 

[W19]

@pd1112 I don't know, but I was told they don't report remedial...

 

[Hemorrage]

Which class is it OP? Some classes i think matter more than others.. for example, if there isn't an AAMC remediation course available for it, its probably not something that a whole lot.

 

[W19]

..

 

[ACSurgeon]

that's not true

Not entirely false either. However, pulling a 250+ on step1 is not something *anyone* can guarantee, and certainly not one having to remediate a class.

 

[Kaustikos]

@pd1112 I don't know, but I was told they don't report remedial...

Just ask for a copy of your official transcript or ask to see it. You'll know then
I say that because there's a huge difference between what's said and on paper

 

[W19]

Just ask for a copy of your official transcript or ask to see it. You'll know then
I say that because there's a huge difference between what's said and on paper

I have no remedials so I won't be able to tell from my transcript...

 

[Redpancreas]

My 2 year relationship recently ended and I've been having a really hard time. Long story short, the breakup came during exams and now I'm at risk for repeating the course in the summer unless I can manage a perfect score on the last exam. I'm still having a hard time with the breakup so I don't know how possible that is.

I've been doing fine in all my other classes, it's just this one because of the timing. If I do end up repeating, does it say in the Dean's letter? Would it matter why it happened? I've been so distraught and really having trouble focusing, and I'm frustrated that this is having such a big impact on school. I know it's only one course and I'm grateful I don't have to repeat the year, but will this have a hug negative impact in the future?

@mdtobe2019

 

[Kaustikos]

I have no remedials so I won't be able tell from my transcript...

It's for anyone thats been told that and advice I'd give your classmates. I'm not saying you did.
Regardless, I'd always ask to see your transcript before submitting it for residency. You're the one that knows your grades. God forbid they screw it up and you didn't check.

Example? Classmate took leave of absence for family emergency. Meaning it dealt with her parents and siblings. What'd the school put down? She had a baby.

 

[Redpancreas]

My 2 year relationship recently ended and I've been having a really hard time. Long story short, the breakup came during exams and now I'm at risk for repeating the course in the summer unless I can manage a perfect score on the last exam. I'm still having a hard time with the breakup so I don't know how possible that is.

I've been doing fine in all my other classes, it's just this one because of the timing. If I do end up repeating, does it say in the Dean's letter? Would it matter why it happened? I've been so distraught and really having trouble focusing, and I'm frustrated that this is having such a big impact on school. I know it's only one course and I'm grateful I don't have to repeat the year, but will this have a hug negative impact in the future?

OP, I'm very sorry to hear about your break up. They're incredibly tough. Bad news first, failure of a course even accompanied by a prompt summer retake at my school will still be noted on the transcript. As for why, I doubt it would matter in your case as I doubt anyone would cut you sympathy on that. I've seen reasons go from deaths in the family to divorces so a "break up" (not trying to lessen the value of it, just putting things in perspective) will look (not saying it is, life is relative) more like a first world problem. That being said, if you show considerable improvement, I'm sure all will be forgiven and they'll accept the reason well.

I'm not about this whole Derm/Plastics/Ortho/ENT/Optho category. Your best bet is to look at the data and like try calling residency directors.

 

[Redpancreas]

@pd1112 I don't know, but I was told they don't report remedial...

Then it's school-specific. At my school, the way it works is it you have failing grades in A course (more than one gets complicated):

You have a couple options:

1. You can retake the exam over the summer. (There probably won't be any other make up sessions unless this was Anatomy so studying is self-guided). \
or.

2. You can skip retaking the exam over the summer and take it over the school year. At that point, you become what's known as a modified 5 year student (because I don't think they let you proceed on with second year until you've completed first especially with our traditional curriculum having such an intense second year).

REGARDLESS, at our school, any class failures will be documented so that it will say student retook exam/course.

 

[Redpancreas]

Just ask for a copy of your official transcript or ask to see it. You'll know then
I say that because there's a huge difference between what's said and on paper

Solid advice. Make an appointment with the Dean of Basic Science or whomever is in charge of this, and take a look at what it's saying. Curriculum Committees/Medical School Counselors can say all the want, but at the end of the day, you'll only be 100% positive by actually viewing your transcript. Also, ask to see a sample student deans letter. My Dean of Basic Sciences was exceptional and being on curriculum committee, he allowed me to view a sample deans letter, annotate it, and send the copy to my classmates. It's from this experience that I'm drawing from to say my school indicates epeats under any circumstances. The reason you need to see both is because I believe at my school, is because one may show it and the other may not.

After I was specifically told at interviews that my school is straight up H/P/F and did some investigating in medical school to find out that performance is divided and reported in five categories divided by class performance, I lost faith in word of mouth advice and decided to meet with faculty to hash out all the details.

 

[booferette]

I had the same thing happen to me during my first year. First, go to counseling and talk this out. Your school likely has mental health services. I went once a week for 2-years! It helped with so much, but it's just great to have someone to talk to, who can call you out on your self-blaming, and can listen. Classmates are too busy, even if they care. Do this, it is critical.

Second, give yourself half-an-hour each day to be sad. Journal, scream, cry, but that's all you get. All other time is to be for school.

Third, failing the class won't look great, but repeating and passing it just fine will likely null and void the situation. You can explain, without too much detail you were having some family issues at the time, and everything worked out just fine of someone was to ask on
interviews.

Keep in mind that this relationship didn't last, but your education and career will. Don't blame yourself, or hurt yourself for someone who isn't even around anymore. You will get through this, I did.

My 2 year relationship recently ended and I've been having a really hard time. Long story short, the breakup came during exams and now I'm at risk for repeating the course in the summer unless I can manage a perfect score on the last exam. I'm still having a hard time with the breakup so I don't know how possible that is.

I've been doing fine in all my other classes, it's just this one because of the timing. If I do end up repeating, does it say in the Dean's letter? Would it matter why it happened? I've been so distraught and really having trouble focusing, and I'm frustrated that this is having such a big impact on school. I know it's only one course and I'm grateful I don't have to repeat the year, but will this have a hug negative impact in the future?

 

[random12345]

I had the same thing happen to me during my first year. First, go to counseling and talk this out. Your school likely has mental health services. I went once a week for 2-years! It helped with so much, but it's just great to have someone to talk to, who can call you out on your self-blaming, and can listen. Classmates are too busy, even if they care. Do this, it is critical.

Second, give yourself half-an-hour each day to be sad. Journal, scream, cry, but that's all you get. All other time is to be for school.

Third, failing the class won't look great, but repeating and passing it just fine will likely null and void the situation. You can explain, without too much detail you were having some family issues at the time, and everything worked out just fine of someone was to ask on
interviews.

Keep in mind that this relationship didn't last, but your education and career will. Don't blame yourself, or hurt yourself for someone who isn't even around anymore. You will get through this, I did.

Unfortunately my school counseling is pretty backed up right now but I'll try to get in asap.
Good to know people have survived similar..I really appreciate it, thank you. Especially for that last bit.

 

[Infinite grace]

My 2 year relationship recently ended and I've been having a really hard time. Long story short, the breakup came during exams and now I'm at risk for repeating the course in the summer unless I can manage a perfect score on the last exam. I'm still having a hard time with the breakup so I don't know how possible that is.

I've been doing fine in all my other classes, it's just this one because of the timing. If I do end up repeating, does it say in the Dean's letter? Would it matter why it happened? I've been so distraught and really having trouble focusing, and I'm frustrated that this is having such a big impact on school. I know it's only one course and I'm grateful I don't have to repeat the year, but will this have a hug negative impact in the future?

 

[Infinite grace]

My 2 year relationship recently ended and I've been having a really hard time. Long story short, the breakup came during exams and now I'm at risk for repeating the course in the summer unless I can manage a perfect score on the last exam. I'm still having a hard time with the breakup so I don't know how possible that is.

I've been doing fine in all my other classes, it's just this one because of the timing. If I do end up repeating, does it say in the Dean's letter? Would it matter why it happened? I've been so distraught and really having trouble focusing, and I'm frustrated that this is having such a big impact on school. I know it's only one course and I'm grateful I don't have to repeat the year, but will this have a hug negative impact in the future?

Some one who just broke up asked a great saint,What can be more worse than losing a boyfriend?
He replied,The most worst thing is losing your confidence that you will find another one.
Cheer up,Life is full of infinite possibilities,it is amazingly wonderful to live each day fresh ,like opening a new wrapped gift box everyday.
Past is a happening,it happened and it is done,present is what we have,future depends on our present.
If we keep brooding on the past in the present,future will be the same ,brooding on the past.
So ,Live life with a purpose ,joy and happiness.

 

[JM26]

If you are really struggling to the point that it is interfering with your ability to live your life, you might want to get some help for that.

 

[zeppelinpage4]

I also support getting in touch with a counselor at your school. If they're booked and can't see you soon, maybe you can check if your insurance will cover or allow you to see a counselor outside of your school's health services.

I went to counseling after my break up as well, and I think it helped. Certainly doesn't hurt to try I think.